FicWad

A/N: Awesome. This is the second time in a row, I think, that I've been able to write two of these in one day. I don't know about you guys, but I'm rather proud of myself.

Disclaimer: I do not own the lyrics to "Faking My Own Suicide".

Song Used: Relient K's "Faking My Own Suicide".


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Twenty-Five: Faking My Own Suicide
Puppet: Paul Jonas Jr.


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So, I've made up my mind,
I will pretend to leave this world behind,
And in the end, you'll know I've lied,
To get your attention,
I'm faking my own suicide...

“I have the awesomest idea!”

I nearly jumped out of my skin and right through the roof as Joe made his entrance into our room, the melody coming from my guitar strings coming to an abrupt halt. Another one of my younger brothers, fortunately the more mature one, ambled after Joe, laughing softly under his breath. “Joe!” I yelped in surprise, dropping my pick and allowing it to slide through the strings and into the sound hole of my acoustic.

I glared at him, but it was hard to be angry at him when he was grinning for all he was worth, even though I knew that probably meant he was up to something. Something that was probably bad. “Kevin!” He mimicked, bouncing up onto the mattress and jumping up and down like a five-year-old.

“What do you guys want?” I demanded, flipping my guitar over and shaking it in an attempt to retrieve my lost pick. I'd been trying to write a song for Ollie, but now it looked like I was never going to finish.

“Gimmie your phone!”

I looked at Joe suspiciously. “Why?”

“'Cause I said!”

I'm faking my own suicide,
Because I know you love me,
You just haven't realized...

“C'mon, Kev,” now it was Nick's turn to try and persuade me, “he's been talking about this for an hour now!”

“I have a bad feeling about this.” I muttered, more to myself than my brothers. I leaned forward a bit and fished my cell phone out of my back pocket, and before I could formally hand in to Joe he'd snatched it out of my hands, took out his own and started fiddling with both of them.

I looked questioningly at Nick. “What is he doing?”

The curly-haired vocalist smiled. “It's a secret.”

This was going to be bad. I just knew it was. I watched Joe tensely, as if somehow I could read his messed up mind and figure out what sort of prank this was.

He was calling someone on his phone and the speaker was on. Ring, ring...static...“hello?”

I'm faking my own suicide,
They'll hold a double funeral,
Because a part of you will die,
Along with me...

I stiffened, recognizing the sound of the other person's voice even through the distortion of the phone. Ollie? Why was Joe calling...?

I started to say something, but Nick shushed me with a look. “Just listen.” He whispered.

And I did. Even though I didn't want to and suspected that my younger brother was prank calling my girlfriend, I sat perfectly still and straight as if that would somehow help me listen better than I normally would have.

“Hello,” Joe had deepened his voice to mimic the one of someone much, much older and professional than he really was, “can I speak to a Olivia Rokit?”

There was a small pause over the phone. No doubt she was just as confused as I was. “This is she...may I ask who this is?”

“Of course,” Joe replied, “this is Officer Henson of the New Jersey State Police. There has been an...incident at the Jonas home and was hoping you come down to the station to answer a few questions for us.”

“Incident?” she repeated, “What kind of incident?”

“Ma'am,” Joe said patiently, “I'm not at liberty to discuss that information at this time.”

I wish you thought that I was dead,
So rather than me you'd be depressed instead,
And before arriving at my grave,
You'd come to the conclusion,
You'd loved me all your days,
But it's too late,
Too late for you to say...

By this time Nick was snickering under his breath, but I was still nervous as a cat. What was Joe trying to do?

“Can you at least tell me that nobody's dead?”

Joe cleared his throat. “Well, ma'am...” he said awkwardly, “that's what we'd like to talk to you about. We're thinking it's a suicide.”

Both Ollie and I swallowed. “The victim, sir?” My red-haired tigress asked shakily.

“I really shouldn't say, but...” Joe reached over to the bookshelf and flipped through pages, giving the illusion that he was looking through a file, “ah, here it is...Paul Jonas Jr.”

Because I'm faking my own suicide,
Because I know you love me,
You just haven't realized...

I jerked up into a standing position and was about to shout, “what!?” when Nick pointedly jumped on my back and put his hand over my mouth, keeping me preoccupied with trying to shake him off. Joe glanced absently at us, a boyish smirk tugging at one corner of his mouth.

Ollie, however, was not restrained at all. There was a slight pause and I could just imagine her almost losing hold of her phone. “Kevin...?” she choked eventually, “You said it was a suicide?”

“We're not absolutely sure, ma'am, but most of the recovered evidence has led us to believe it was.” Joe was acting as if he was not affected by the seriousness of what he was saying at all, making it all that much more chilling.

I squirmed and struggled, but it was hard to free myself when he was already on my back. I tried desperately to pry his hand away, but he held fast and would not be moved. I glared furiously at Joe and contemplated jumping him, but he was already watching me and didn't have the added weight of another person on his back.

This wasn't even funny!

“You're sure it's Kevin?”

“His identification says his name is Paul, ma'am.” Joe corrected politely.

“I know it says Paul!” she snapped, though it wasn't hard to tell that she was distraught, “It's his...”

Oh, I'm faking my own suicide,
They'll hold a double funeral,
Because a part of you will die,
Along with me...

She trailed off and didn't finish her sentence, and to my dismay I could recognize the soft, choking sound of a sob come through the other end. I paused suddenly and held perfectly still, listening to the sound.

Ollie never cried about anything.

For some reason, I got some sort of sick and twisted pleasure out of the fact that she was taking the 'news' so harshly. But the need to comfort her, to swipe the phone away and talk to her, to let her hear my voice and to tell her I was perfectly all right was stronger. I fought against Nick's hold with renewed strength and his grip slipped a little, but not enough that I could get any words out.

“Pardon me for just a moment.” Joe said in a business-like manner that made my blood boil. He brought the phone away from his face and snorted softly with laughter, then brought it back.

“I have to go. One of my men discovered a note. Goodbye.”

I'll write you a letter that you'll keep,
Reminding you your love for me is more than six feet deep,
You say aloud that you would have been my wife,
Right about that time is when I come back to life,
And let you know, I'd let you know...

And just like that, Joe hung up the phone and left my girl's world in tiny shattered pieces.

Nick slid off my back and, though I thought I would've, I had no urge to launch myself at Joe. I stood there, silent and mulling over how upset Ollie had sounded. I certainly never would've thought she'd get so choked up over her own parents dying, much less me. She was a tough girl, and she had started crying over a phone conversation with a complete stranger.

“Now, see, this is the part where you write a sappy letter and go find her,” Joe explained as if it were the most natural thing in the world, “she'll be so happy to see you and you won't have to wonder about what she thinks of you anymore.”

How had he known that I wondered if she really cared about me or not? I blinked dumbly at him, wondering how he could be so stupid yet so freakishly brilliant all at the same time.

“Do we need to remind you where the pen and paper is?” Nick asked with a teasing laugh, poking me in the ribs in an attempt to break me out of my spell.

I shook my head, unable to find my voice. That's exactly what I would do. Write her a 'suicide note' and hope that I could catch her before she actually left for the police station...

I raced out of my room without a word.

That all along I was faking my own suicide,
Because I know you love me,
You just haven't realized...

I tapped the pad of paper impatiently, trying hard to find the right words. It was a lot harder than I thought it'd be; I kept trying to imagine that I was about to kill myself, but the idea just seemed so dark and solemn that I couldn't think about it for too long without feeling sick. I didn't want to die. Not now. Not while I had her.

Wait...that was it!

I grinned to myself and scribbled down a short, heartfelt message that I hoped she'd hold on to.

Hey Ollie,

You should know by now that as long as I have you, I won't ever have a reason to leave. I love you, and will keep loving you 'till I die for real.

Forever yours,
Kevin

I was faking my own suicide,
I'll walk in that room and see your eyes open so wide,
Open so wide,
Because you know...

“Kevin?!”

I smiled brightly and waved at her as if nothing had happened. I'd parked out in front of her house and has just climbed out of my car, catching her just as she was leaving the house, presumably headed for the police station. She was standing in her driveway, but even with a short distance between us I could see her eyes were as wide as two full moons on her face.

“Hey, Ollie!”

For the longest time she stood absolutely stock still while I stood and waited with a hopeful smile. It had occurred to me, on the way, that she may be angry with me. Then, before I even had time to blink, she was pressed up against me with her arms tightly around my neck, her face buried in my chest and her shoulders trembling with uncontrollable sobs.

“Hey, hey, hey,” I murmured soothingly, “I'm here, Ollie, I'm right here. You're okay...”

“The police called...told me you'd -”

“Yeah, I know,” I cut her off, planting a gentle kiss to the side of her neck, “Officer Henson, right?”

She pulled back and looked at me in puzzled amazement, her eyes reddened and tears streaking down that noble face of hers. “How did you know?”

I smiled sheepishly. “'Cause Officer Henson is none other then Joe Jonas.”

I stiffened and waited for the anger. She had never liked Joe and would undoubtedly be furious that he'd played a joke and made a fool out of her; it certainly would've have been the first time, though certainly not on this scale. For a moment I could feel her muscles go rigid and tight as if she was about ready to push me away and snap.

Then she relaxed and released a heavy sigh, her body almost fluidly melting into mine. She tenderly cupped my face in her hands, which were firm from years of mechanic work and ticklish against the light stubble on my jaw line. To my surprise, she pressed her her lips to mine in a kiss that made me feel as if she was worried it would be her last.

“I'm just so glad you're okay,” she murmured after pulling away, “I love you.”

Because you know you will never leave my side,
Until the day that I die for the first time,
And we'll laugh, yeah we'll laugh,
And we will cry,
So overjoyed at the love that's so alive,
Our love is so alive.


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A/N: -giggle- I rather like this song and I also really liked Joe's bit, but I'm not really sure about the rest of it. I felt odd writing Kevin Jonas faking a suicide. XD