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Disclaimer: Wouldn't it be cool to own Bleach? But that I don't. Bleach is all Kubo Tite's.

Note: Heh. Something funny to think about is that when I started writing this story, I didn't plan for it to be more than a one-shot. and now I'm posting chapter 10 and chapter 11 is being written right now. And after that I think there'll be at least two more chapters. It's funny. This is the longest story I ever written. I often get writers block by chapter three. But so far I haven't experienced even one serious block. just a minor, where I just can't find the word I'm looking for. Well, well. Enough of that. On to the story...


Chapter Ten - Back for your birthday

Ichigo woke up because of the feeling of falling. When he hit the floor, he groaned in pain and opened his eyes. "Not again! It's the third time this week." He sat up and rubbed his eyes. Then he glared at the cause of his fall. Renji was still lying in the bed, totally unaware of what he had done. Ichigo sighed and looked out the window. It was still dark, so he checked his alarm clock to see how long before dawning. It showed 3.04 am and he sighed again. There wasn't really much to do. He carefully climbed over Renji and put himself closest to the wall. The safe side. Although Ichigo rarely got to sleep on that side, since Renji was very persistent about it being his favourite side. "You've gotten way to soft, Ichigo."
As he put his head down and pulled carefully in the cover, Renji turned in his sleep. Ichigo had barely put himself under the cover, before Renji snuggled up next to him. The irritation of being pushed of the bed faded away. Then he felt Renji's hand moving upwards on his chest and he knew that Renji wasn't sleeping any longer.
"Ichigo," came a half muffled whisper. "Why aren't you sleeping and why have we switched places?"
But Renji didn't wait for an answer. Instead he placed his lips on Ichigo's neck. Ichigo sighed.
"Renji... you've been awake for like two seconds and that is the first thing on your mind. Go back to sleep."
Ichigo turned away from Renji, but Renji wasn't about to give up that easily. He moved his hand along Ichigo's back and then kissed him in the neck. When Ichigo refused to respond, Renji moved closer and put his arms around Ichigo's waist. A deep sigh came over Ichigo's lips.
"Renji... I'm tired. I haven't slept well these last few days. And it's entirely your fault."
"Sorry Ichigo. But it's hard to have you so close and resist kissing you or touching you."
That wasn't really what Ichigo had been talking about. He had meant all the times he had woken up on the floor, after being pushed of the bed by Renji. But then he remembered the Renji didn't know of that, since he was asleep when it happened and Ichigo hadn't told him about it.
"If I kiss you, then will you go back to sleep?"
"A kiss? Is that all?"
Renji sighed.
"Okay then."
Ichigo turned around again and kissed Renji. Though when he was about to part, the separation was denied by Renji. Renji had put his hand on Ichigo's neck and pressed Ichigo closer. Renji wasn't set on ending with a kiss.


When the morning sun cast its first rays into Ichigo's room, Ichigo didn't want to get up. In fact, he didn't even want to open his eyes. Just as he had expected, Renji hadn't stopped with a kiss. And now, when dawn was here, Ichigo felt even more tired then before. He turned over to tease his lover. "If he's gonna interrupt my sleep, like hell I'll let him sleep long in the morning." He followed the tattoos on Renji's body with his fingertips.
"Ichigo... the sun has barely come out..."
"So?"
He changed into using his whole hand to caress Renji's chest.
"So, I don't wanna wake up yet."
He turned away from Ichigo.
"Hey! So you're saying it's okay for you to disturb me in the middle of the night, but it's not okay for me to wake you up?"
"You were already awake."
"And you are awake now."
Renji sighed.
"I'm tired..."
"It your own fault! And I was tired earlier! I'm even more tired now!"
"Then go back to sleep, instead of start an argument."
"We're already in an argument! Why is it okay for you, but not for me?"
When Renji didn't answer, Ichigo got irritated and got out of the bed. After he had gotten his clothes on, he walked out of the room, And the fact that Renji had already fallen back to sleep again, added to the irritation that had already built up.


The whole day Ichigo intentionally avoided Renji. He knew that they would have a fight when they met, and he didn't feel like fighting. He didn't have the strength to.
It wasn't just the argue from this morning or the incidents of being pushed of the bed, that gnawed on his mind. Lately it seemed like almost anything Renji did or said irritated him. Renji was constantly close and Ichigo felt like he didn't even have time to think about anything but Renji. But there weren't only nice thoughts. There were times when he wished that Renji would just back of and let him be. "Am I falling out of love?" The very thought scared Ichigo, and in a way it made him feel a little better.
Right now he had made his escape to his room and was sitting by the desk, reading 'Twelfth Night" by William Shakespeare. He heard the door open behind him, but he did not turn to look at who it was, since he already knew. Renji walked in to the room and stopped just behind Ichigo.
"Why are you avoiding me? Are you still upset over this morning, or is there some other reason why you haven't even talked to me all day?"
"I just wanted some time alone."
"Then you could have said so."
Renji sat down on the bed.
"I was starting to think that you didn't love me anymore."
He looked at Ichigo, who was still reading, not seemingly affected by Renji's words.
"You... you do still love me, right?"
There was a scent of fear in Renji's voice. Ichigo sighed, put down the book and looked at Renji. There was a look in his eyes that Renji didn't know how to interpret.
"Renji, I think... I think we need some time apart."
Renji felt like someone had stabbed a knife through his heart.
"Wha... what are... why? Are you... breaking up with me?"
Ichigo's eyes widened.
"Wha...? No!"
Renji didn't know what to make out of it and felt tears coming.
"I-I'm just saying, maybe you shouldn't... come here as often. I think we both could use some space. Some time to think."
Renji looked at Ichigo. He was confused. "Is he serious? But I don't want to be apart from you... I love... you..." When Renji saw the sincerity in Ichigo's eyes, he locked away.
"You... don't love me anymore..."
"I never said that!"
"Then why do you want to spend time apart?! To think?! I don't believe that! I think you're just afraid to say what you really mean!"
Renji was still looking away from Ichigo and tears were only a blink away.
"Renji!"
Ichigo got up from the chair and kneeled down next to Renji, embracing him.
"Renji..."
He buried his head into Renji's neck.
"No... I haven't stopped loving you... I still lo... I..."
For some reason the words just stopped coming. What had been so easy to say several of times before, seemed like the hardest thing to tell Renji now, when those were exactly the words Renji needed to hear the most right now. "Why? Why can I not tell you that I love... you... do I still love you?"
"Renji..."
Ichigo felt Renji's arms put around him and their embrace became tighter. For a moment all they did was sit there, embracing each other. No words, no kisses. Just the feeling of being close. Then after a while, Renji gently pushed away Ichigo a bit.
"Some time to think? Okay... Just let me have tonight."
He tilted Ichigo's head upwards and kissed him.


When Ichigo woke up the next morning, he was surprised to find that Renji was already gone. "That's strange. Where has he gone?" He got up and put on his clothes. With that done, he noticed a note on the desk. Though it was more a letter then a note.
"Ichigo.
I thought about what you said last night and maybe you were right. This whole year has been kind of intense. I guess I just been afraid that it would end. It was so good. Nothing seemed wrong and it was like all the pieces fitted just right.
At first I couldn't really grip the situation. I couldn't really see why you would love me. Out of the people, why me? And then when those thoughts settled, there was the feeling of perfection and I didn't want it to end. I was afraid to move out to far. I didn't want to loose you. Didn't want to loose what we had. What I hope we still have.
Now I see that it must have felt like I was suffocating you. I'm sorry for that. That was never my intention. I love you Ichigo. That's all there was. That's all there is.
When you first suggested this being away from each other thing, I guess I thought my fears were coming true. I'm sorry for the things I said. I understand now all you really needed was time to think. And you gave me that time after that first night. So it would be wrong of me to deny you that time.
So, this morning when I woke up, I decided to go back to soul-society for a few days. To think, to reflect over you and me. I'll be back in time for your birthday. I promise.
I love you, Ichigo. Don't forget that.
Renji."
Ichigo sat down on the bed, his spirit deeply lowered. Sure it had been his idea that they should spend less time with each other, but this wasn't what he had meant. He just wanted a few hours to himself each day, not several days without even one look on Renji's face. No, this wasn't what he had meant. He sighed. Then a soft knock was heard and Rukia opened the door and stuck her head through the gap.
"By the look on your face I guess you've read the letter."
Ichigo nodded. Rukia entered the room and sat down next to Ichigo on the bed.
"You look kind of gloom considering it was your idea."
Ichigo sighed.
"I know. But he didn't have to go so far. I said 'spend a little less time together'. Not 'be apart for several days.' And why didn't he wake me up to tell me everything?"
He sighed again.
"Well maybe it's for the better. I-I don't mean to sound mean or anything, but I think you'd get more thinking this way. And I think it's good for the two of you to spend some time apart. You been apart for at most an hour this last year. Sometimes you started wonder whether you were glued on together."
Rukia giggled and Ichigo gave her an intense glare. She settled down.
"Sorry Ichigo. But I mean it. You were almost inseparable. I thought everything was alright. And you even got better at talking to each other after that incident with that girl."
"Yeah. But he didn't wake me up and told me about this. Instead he wrote a note. Why?"
Rukia looked at Ichigo and smiled.
"Ichigo. Do you think that he would have been able to leave then? Do you think that he would have been able to tear himself from you? It was hard enough for him to write that letter and to leave you there, sleeping."
Ichigo sighed.
"I know that you're right, but it still doesn't make me feel any better. I miss him already."
"Well if you didn't, I would hit you and tell you to stay away from him. If you miss him, that means you still love him. For that's what all of this is about, right? Suddenly you got some strange feeling that you didn't love him anymore. Am I right?"
"Rukia..."
Ichigo looked her in the eyes. That was all that he needed to do. Words were superfluous. Rukia smiled.
"Don't worry. He will still love you after this. And it will be a good experience for you."
Ichigo smiled weakly and Rukia realized that there wasn't really much more she could do here. She quickly hugged Ichigo and then walked out of the room. Ichigo watched her leave. "I hope you know what a good friend you have, Renji."


Renji sighed. He was buried over his head with paperwork. Sure he hadn't actually been that active with work this year, but Kuchiki-taichou wasn't really the one to save a years worth of work, just to have the opportunity to dump it over Renji. Though sadly it wasn't that way either. If it had been, Renji wouldn't really have complained that much. Since that would be a perfectly good explanation for the large piles. But the oldest of these reports were only a week old. Renji couldn't grip how there could be so much in a week.
Renji sighed loudly. With all this paperwork there wasn't any time to think on anything else. He had been working almost none stop for the past four days, and still it seemed like the piles only got bigger. Everyday when he left his desk, he knew that the days work had halved the piles. But as he came back the next morning it was like they were just as big as the day before.
Another sigh slipped through his lips as he picked up the next report. This was the definition of boring. Even though he had only done this for some days now, it seemed like a thousand. And there really didn't seem to be much variation. Sometimes it seemed like there was only one long report, that endlessly kept repeating itself. It was getting rather tedious. He sighed again as he pushed away the report and then let his head fall to the desk. "This wasn't what I came here for." When he closed his eyes, he tried to remember Ichigo's face, but all that came to his mind was the picture of the piles in front of him on the desk. He opened his eyes and glared at the piles.
"Stupid paperwork! You ruin everything."
He established that yelling to the piles of paper, wouldn't make them go away, and with a huge sigh he picked up another report.


When evening came, Renji pushed everything away. "That's it! I'm not doing anymore of this today!" He stretched his arms and yawned widely. Then he looked at the piles and happily stated that the piles were definitely halved since this morning. Now he wished that they would stay that way until next day. He sighed and left the room.
When he came outside, he noticed that not only had it become dark, but it was a perfect star filled sky hanging over soul-society. Renji was amazed by the thousands and again thousand stars that filled the sky. It seemed to be more than usual. He decided to find a decent rooftop and watch the stars from there.
As he sat there gazing at the stars, he heard footsteps behind him. He turned and was surprised over who he saw.
"Rukia! What are you doing here?"
"Is that how you greet a friend?"
Renji blushed, and Rukia smiled at him.
"I'm just checking in on you, to see how your thinking is going. Come up with anything yet?"
"Not really. I've been working ever since I got here."
"You didn't really come here for that."
"Say that to your brother! He keep dumping all this paperwork on me. I swear if that pile of paper grown until tomorrow... I'll swear I'll..."
"Don't do anything drastic! I think Ichigo wants you back in one piece."
At the sound of Ichigo's name, Renji's heart skipped a beat.
"How... is he?"
"He's hanging in there. But mostly he just goes around sighing and spacing out. If he speaks, it's in single words or unfinished sentences. I hope you're not planning on staying here much longer, cause it's quite depressing to see him like that."
Renji didn't now how long he were going to stay. If it was his call, he would go back right away. But leaving without finishing all the paperwork on his desk, would most definitely not be appreciated by Kuchiki-taichou. He turned his face up to the sky, just in time to see a star fall. Beside him he heard Rukia gasp for air.
"How beautiful! Do you know what they say about falling stars in the human world?"
Renji looked at Rukia and shook his head.
"You get to make a wish and it might just come true. Just don't say it out loud."
Renji smirked.
"Humans sure have some silly customs," he said with laughter in his voice.
But nonetheless did Renji make a wish. He wished that he could be next to Ichigo. He wished that he could just hold Ichigo in his arms and kiss him. What earlier had been so hard, now became so easy. In an instant Renji's head was filled with images of Ichigo and although he loved to have them there, they hurt. The images was so strong, so real, that Renji felt like if he just stretched out his hand far enough he would be able to touch Ichigo. He could almost feel the warmth of Ichigo's embrace, almost hear his voice.
"I miss him..."
Rukia looked at her best friend and smiled weakly.
"He misses you too. I guess once you meet again, it will be impossible to separate you two."
Renji blushed.
"Well, I said everything I came here to say," Rukia said and stood up. "I'll talk to my brother. Try to convince him to go easy on you."
She turned and walked away, but stopped after just a few steps.
"It's just a few days until Ichigo's birthday. Remember you promised you'd be there by then."
With that told, Rukia went of to find her brother. Renji sighed and looked up at the stars again. "I did write that down, didn't I?" There was no way that he wouldn't be there. Kuchiki-taichou would to have to chain him to his desk, to keep him from Ichigo.


He looked out through the window. It was dark. The whole day had passed and Renji still hadn't showed up. Ichigo opened the window. It was far to hot inside to keep it closed. As the cooler outdoor breeze swept round him, he sighed. "You said you'd be here by today. You lied. Idiot!" He walked away from the window and sat down by the desk. Renji's letter was lying there and Ichigo read it once more. "I miss you."
Someone knocked on the door and Ichigo quickly turned to see who would walk trough the door. Slightly disappointed he saw that it was Rukia.
"Still no sign of him?"
Ichigo shook his head.
"Where's that idiot?! I even reminded him when I went to soul-society. And he said he'd be here. Maybe something happened..."
"No!" Ichigo's eyes widened in fear.
"I-I'm sure he's alright," she quickly added once she saw the fear in Ichigo s eyes.
But Ichigo couldn't help to feel worried. And feeling guilty. If he hadn't suggested this stupid break thing, then Renji would be here and nothing would have happened to him. Rukia saw that he was still worried.
"I'm sorry Ichigo... I didn't mean to upset you. I'm positively sure that he's alright. My brother probably just drowned him in paperwork, despite my pleas to go easy on him. He'll come around any day now."
She smiled, but realized that there wasn't really much she could do here. She left the room. Ichigo looked at the letter once again. "If everything's fine, then why aren't you here? And why does it feel like something is wrong?" He buried his face in his hand. "No... please... I don't want to..." But resisting was useless and tears came running down. "Idiot... where are you? You lied..."


He turned to look at the alarm-clock. 11.23 pm. Soon midnight. He had been trying to sleep now for an hour, but sleep just wouldn't come. His mind was filled with thoughts of Renji. He wondered where he was, what had happened and why he had lied. At least the tears had stopped falling. Ichigo was angry on himself for giving in to the tears. It happened to often now a days. Ever since he had fallen in love with Renji. Ever since that night. Though he was thankful that no one had seen him cry.
Trough the window came a chilling breeze, but it was still hot in the room. Ichigo kicked of the cover, but it didn't help much. The t-shirt he was wearing was still sticky and daubed to his skin. But he didn't want to take it of. It wasn't his t-shirt, it was Renji's. and that was the reason he didn't want to take it of. It still had the smell of Renji on it, and wearing it almost made it feel like Renji was lying next to him. But the warmth of his magenta lover wasn't there and it gave away the lie of feeling him there.
Ichigo sighed. Again his thoughts had drifted away to think about Renji. He turned to look at the alarm-clock. 11.48 pm. "Damn time moves fast sometimes. Apparently not only when you're having fun." He looked up at the ceiling. 'Cause lets face it, there wasn't much else to do. The wish that sleep would come became stronger for each second.
Suddenly something came trough the open window and there was a flash of black and red. When Ichigo realized what it was, it collapsed on the floor.
"RENJI!"
He rushed to Renji's side and turned him over to look at his face. There was a huge scar across Renji's left cheek and his arms were drenched in blood. The sleeves on the shinigami outfit was torn into shreds, but strangely most of it was still connected to the rest of the clothing. It was as they had been cut by purpose with scissors, and not randomly when fighting a hollow. Though nothing seemed to be broken. Renji's eyes flickered a while, until they finally found Ichigo's.
"Sorry man," came a rather weak whisper. "I got a little delayed."
"Schh. Don't speak."
Ichigo helped Renji to the bed and then ran to get the first-aid kit in the bathroom. He also filled a bowl with some warm water. Then he returned as quickly as he could to his room, without spilling any water.
"We got to remove your clothes. Well, what's left of it."
"You got time to think on things like that now," Renji asked with a smirk.
"Stupid! I got to clean up your wounds."
"Then why didn't you say so?"
Ichigo ignored Renji's words and helped him remove the upper part of the shinigami outfit. Now Ichigo could see that the reason for the blood drenched arms were the thousands of cuts and bruises on Renji's arms.
"What the hell did you fight?"
He began washing of the blood.
"Just a few hollows."
"A few?! By the looks of it, it seems more like you went up against an whole army."
Renji flinched as Ichigo pressed a little harder on one spot because the blood had almost dried in.
"Ow! Take it easy!"
"Stop whining! And sit still! You act like a fuckin' three year old!"
"You don't have to be so rough!"
Renji received a silencing glare from Ichigo. He decided to keep his mouth shut for a while. Soon Ichigo had cleaned of most of the blood on Renji's left arm. He quickly, but efficiently wrapped it up in bandages. Then he turned his focus to the other arm.
"So, how many were they?"
Renji snorted.
"You said it yourself. An army."
Ichigo made eye contact with Renji.
"And what in the world made you attack them?"
"I didn't! They snuck up on me! First I couldn't sense anything and then there were like twenty hollows surrounding me. Luckily for me they where just weak hollows, but it was quite a bunch."
Ichigo finished the cleaning of Renji's right arm and wrapped it up.
"Why didn't you run away? Why didn't you try to get some help?"
"I ain't running from any hollow! There's no fuckin' honour in that!"
Ichigo picked up a new cloth to wash of the blood in Renji's face.
"And there is honour in dying?"
He prevented Renji from moving his head by firmly gripping his chin. It wasn't all to appreciated by Renji, you could tell from the look in his face.
"They were weak hollows!"
"But many! Haven't you ever heard that it doesn't matter how strong you are if they outnumber you?"
The blood was gone in Renji's face and Ichigo quickly covered the cut with a white plaster.
"And you would have run? I don't think so, Ichigo."
Ichigo ignored the comment and cleaned up after himself. Then he went back with the first-aid kit to the bathroom. As he was to exit the room, he saw his own reflection in the mirror. The t-shirt had been smudged with blood and there was even some in his face. He washed his face quickly and then returned to his room. When he came into the room, Renji was standing by the window. Ichigo walked up behind and embraced him.
"Stupid. You got me worried. And then you show up like that. Covered in blood, clothes torn into shreds and just collapse on the floor."
He pressed himself closer to Renji and put his lips to Renji's neck.
"Sorry man. I..."
He didn't finish the sentence, but turned around and kissed Ichigo. He had waited for this moment for days and he didn't want to fill up the time with stupid arguments. Even though it hurt to even moved his arms, he wrapped them around Ichigo's waist and pulled Ichigo as close as possible. "There's no way I'm letting you go now." Their lips parted and Ichigo buried his face in Renji's neck.
"I take it back, Renji."
"Take what back?"
Renji felt how his heart almost stopped.
"The things I said before you left for soul-society. I don't want to spend less time with you. I want you close to me every minute of the day. I want you there when I fall asleep and I want you beside me when I wake up."
Renji let out a deep sigh of relief.
"For a moment there I thought you were going to take back all the times you said you loved me. I though you..."
Ichigo pushed of Renji just as much as he needed to be able to look Renji in the eyes.
"Would I say that while holding you close?"
"Well I... guess not."
A faint blush came over Renji's cheeks. Ichigo placed his hand on Renji's cheek and stroke gently over the blush with his thumb. Renji smiled and then he noticed what Ichigo was wearing,
"Ichigo... why are you wearing my t-shirt?"
Ichigo looked down on the t-shirt and blushed.
"I-I missed you so much and... and I... I'm sorry about the blood."
Renji pulled Ichigo close again.
"Who the fuck cares about the blood? You missed me?"
"Of course I did! I lo..."
Again the words got stuck in Ichigo's throat. "No! I'm not letting you win this time."
"Renji. I love you!"
Renji smiled and tightened the embrace. Then he glanced at the alarm-clock. 12.37 am.
"I'm sorry man. I was late for your birthday. And I had promised to be here. I feel like such a moron for lying to you. For showing up like this. And then you say that you love me. How can you? I just screw everything up. I don't even have a present for you. I..."
"Shut up."
Ichigo pressed his lips against Renji's. When he pulled away he looked into Renji's eyes.
"What are you talking about? You did come in time for my birthday. And you already given me the best birthday present I've got all day."
He gave Renji another quick kiss.
"But I hope you aren't too tired from that fight. 'Cause I missed you. A lot."
Renji's face went scarlet and Ichigo smiled as he released Renji's magenta hair from the hair-band.
"How many times do I have to tell you? I like it better when you have your hair out like this."
Ichigo buried his hands into Renji's hair. Renji closed his eyes. The feeling of Ichigo's fingers running through his hair was overwhelming and he felt how his legs started shaking.
"Ichi..."
"I know, I know."
Ichigo kissed Renji and then roughly pushed him down on the bed.


"It's not possible! Again?!" Ichigo sat up. Yet again he found himself on the floor. He glared at Renji, who was currently stretching out his body on the whole bed. His hair was spread out like a magenta coloured silk fan and he had a satisfied smirk on his face. "That's it. Payback time." Ichigo carefully climbed over Renji, made absolutely sure not to touch him, in case that would wake him up. When he had safely made his way over Renji, he placed his hands along Renji's side and pushed gently. Renji stirred a little, but did not wake up. Ichigo smirked and with one forceful push he rendered Renji airborne. A loud sound was made when Renji took ground again, and it was followed by an evenly loud groan. Ichigo looked over the edge of the bed.
"Ow! What was that good for?"
Renji looked up at Ichigo.
"Payback."
"What? I thought you said that you weren't upset about me coming late and all that."
Renji sat up and massaged his right arm, which was the one he had fell on.
"No. that's not what I wanted payback for. The payback was for the four times YOU push ME of the bed. And then you just went on sleeping!"
Renji blushed and looked away.
"I would never," came a low whisper from Renji.
"You move to much in your sleep. Are you fighting hollows in your sleep too? Aren't the ones you fight when you're awake enough?"
"I ain't fighting any hollows in my sleep!"
"Then what the hell do you dream about?"
Renji's face went blood-red.
"N-nothing that concerns you!"
Ichigo smiled as he saw the blush on his lovers face.
"Oh, really?"
He moved down to the floor and sat down in front of Renji. He placed both his hands on Renji's chest and slowly moved them downwards. Renji closed his eyes and a soft moan came over his lips.
"I think they concern me a lot. What do you dream about, Renji?"
Ichigo leaned in and kissed Renji before he had the chance to answer. He pushed Renji down on the floor and kept kissing and caressing him. A deep, though slightly muffled moan came from Renji. Ichigo parted from Renji's lips and looked at his lover, with a smirk on his lips.
"I'm curios. Tell me."
Renji blushed even more. This widened the smirk on Ichigo's lips and he leaned down to Renji's ear. He teased him a little by placing a feather kiss right beneath the ear and then with his tongue he followed the lines and curves of Renji's ear. When Renji moaned and pressed himself against Ichigo, Ichigo stopped and whispered:
"Show me."

End of chapter Ten