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Dear Orpheus,
I need your advice, friend. I've begun to correspond with Demeter's daughter, Persephone . . . she's lovely, and she's being ind to me, but I'm hesitant. What if she's being kind out of pity . . . or worse, to mock me? She's invited me to a Harvest festival, and I fear she may just be toying with me. I find myself far to easy to toy with. Since when do I have a weakness for women?
She called me her friend, but why would a beautiful young lady such as herself want to associate herself with someone like me? I would be grateful for your thoughts, old friend.
As always,
Hades

Hades -
I'm detecting those old notes of low self-esteem in your letter, pal. I think you need to lighten up.
I'm actually a friend of Percy's, you know. Sure, she's pretty and cheerful - your opposite, ha ha - but she marches to the beat of her own drummer. She's not like other girls - and you must have noticed, or your heart wouldn't be singing that lonely little tune.
Hey, I hate to keep using clichés, but you've heard the saying: better to have loved and lost than never loved at all. I've got my Eurydice, but i don't remember you ever being with anybody. You've at least gotta give it a shot, buddy. And if it turns out she just wants to stay friends (or she really is messing with you), well, at least you know you tried, right? Heartbreak heals. Um, well, I'm assuming you have a heart somewhere in there. Anyway, excuse the pun, but you gotta live a little.
Go for it!
- Orpheus

Dear Percy,
I would like to RSVP for your Harvest Party. I think I will come after all. I would like to see you again, as we've never actually spoken face-to-face. Surprisingly, I'm looking forward to this.
Most Sincerely,
Hades

Dear Hades,
I'm so glad! I asked my mom, and she's fine with you coming. I can't wait! it's going to be three weeks exactly from today - well, from the day I'm writing this letter. It's not formal or anything, so you don't have to dress up. See you then!
Your friend,
Percy

Dear Artemis,
Hey, are you coming to my Harvest Party? I sent you, like, ten invitations. I started writing back and forth with Hades, and he's actually, like, really really nice. He's not mean or scary, he just sounds really shy. Do you talk to him a lot? If you do, do you know why he's so quiet?
Love,
Percy

Percy:
Sorry. Been hunting. Good trip - shot 3 white stags, a few bears, and a couple lions. Big ones, too. I'll come to your party thing, but I might have to leave early to go hunting again.
As for Hades, I don't talk to him at all. He doesn't hunt. Seems like a pansy to me. If you want to talk to him, fine, but I think he's just antisocial.
Off to hunt Giant Boar. See you later.
Artemis

Dear Orpheus,
I actually did end up attending Persephone's party. At first, I wasn't enjoying myself - it was too bright and loud and hot. But then Persephone came over, smiling, and dropped a daisy chain on my head. A daisy chain. I kid you not, my friend. I think it may have burned my scalp a little. Then she dragged me over to the throng of people around the bonfire and attempted to teach me how to dance.
I was clumsy and awkward and self-conscious, but Percy didn't seem to mind. After a while, I even found myself smiling. I actually laughed at one point when she joked about my clothing (I had come in my customary black, but of course everyone else was wearing bright colors).
A little later in the night, she pulled me away from the boisterous crowds (much to my relief) and we went to sit by a nearby stream, sharing a pomegranate she had snatched from one of the food tables. She told me they were her favorite. We talked for a long time, about . . . well, everything. She is entirely different from any girl I have ever met, living or dead - not that I ever really talk to girls, but still. She dragged me back to the party for a while to talk to Artemis, who is apparently her closest friend, but the Huntress soon left, muttering something about slaughtering chimeras, and we resumed our conversation on the streambank.
Oh, gods, Orpheus, I fear I may be attracted to her. I tell myself that I'm afraid because being infatuated with her will interfere with my job in the Underworld, but I think what I'm really afraid of is how clear it is that she doesn't feel the same way about me. I think I need to cut off my correspondence with her before I get any more attached . . . I don't think she'll even notice when the letters stop. As much as I enjoy being with her, I think it's better this way.
As always,
Hades

Hades -
Aw, come on, man. She invited you to her party, spent the entire night with you . . . and it sounds to me like she was flirting with you. The song hasn't even begun, and you already want to stop dancing? I mean, in the end I can't control what you do. But, if you want my honest opinion, I think you should keep talking to her.
Think about it.
- Orpheus

Dear Artemis,
Did you like the party? I'm sorry you couldn't stay longer. That's okay, though - Hades kept me company the rest of the night. He's really such a sweetheart, Artie. We must have talked for three hours. He was even loosening up a little - I got him to dance! Well, kind of. And he laughed when I teased him about how serious his outfit was.
I don't think Mom really liked him. I'd like to have him up here again, though, so she'll just have to get used to it.
Love,
Percy

Percy:
Men are stupid. And weak. And utterly worthless.
You should take up hunting instead of wasting your time with that guy. or any guy, for that matter. He seemed like a total wet blanket. Did I mention that he's wimpy? he probably couldn't shoot a bunny rabbit at point blank. "God of Death," my ass.
Gotta go. Hunting lions with Orion.
Artemis