FicWad

My life.
My choice.
Live or die, I decide.

It all can end in a flash,
and I can finally forget my past.
No more tears on a cold,
lonely night,
my thoughts only plagued
by my life’s plight.
Both ways,
live or die,
I am a coward for this choice.
A coward to live
or
a coward to die.
Others stand just as I,
trying to decide to die
or
live another day
and seek the happiness
they say can really exist in the world,
but after all the despair
that I have faced in the world,
how can I truly believe them?

How,
after all the pain and trials of life,
can I think there is a better way?

So here I am,
above it all,
trying to decide.
Should end it all and feel no more,
or try and kill this pain inside?

I have suffered so much in the past,
that I can’t truly see clear,
the haze of all the pain I feel
is clouding all I know.

The death of a lover,
the loss of a job,
the rejection from a father,
the hate of a mother,
the scorn of a friend,
the constant insults from strangers,
the stealing of ideas,
being put down while others are raised up,
forgetting who you are,
trying to fit in but never being able to,
always being forgotten or stepped on,
never being taken seriously,
the flare ups of sadness just can’t be avoided.

All these things add up over time,
and nothing can make them leave.

So here I stand,
above it all,
trying to decide which cowardly road
I will take.

Live or die.

I decide.

My choice.

To stay above it all
Or
To
F
a
l
l