Categories > Books > Harry Potter

Foul Mouthed Invisible Disappearing Ghost

by ThisbeHecate 4 reviews

If someone keeps disappearing, they shouldn't be punished for not doing their homework, right? Seventh in the potions homework series.

Category: Harry Potter - Rating: PG - Genres: Humor - Characters: Harry,Snape - Published: 2008-11-23 - Updated: 2008-11-23 - 1145 words - Complete

A/N Don't own it, don't have money, don't sue!
Before potions class, Hermione and Ron could be found in the dungeons attempting to find their professor before class. They had to explain about what was happening to Harry, because something very strange was indeed happening...

They, however, could not locate their professor, for he was currently busy. He was in the headmasters office with his first years. They kept going on and on about a foul-mouthed invisible-disappearing ghost in their wardrobe in their dormitory. He had attempted to explain to them that there was no ghost in residence in their wardrobes, but they would not listen to him. He brought them to the headmaster in hopes that they would listen to him.

"But, Sirs," one brave first year spoke up, "It's there! It swears very very loudly, then when we go to open the door, it's gone!"

Peering at the student over his half-moon spectacles, eyes twinkling, Dumbledore said,

"Show the way." and with that, all in the office followed the brave little first year to their dorm, and not twenty minutes later, after sitting and waiting (Snape had become too impatient after five minutes and had left, but Dumbledore was still there.) suddenly:

"God D(edited for extreme coarse language)"

"Goodness!" Exclaimed Dumbledore as he jumped up and ran to open the door, and he found exactly what the students always found, a wardrobe, empty of everything but the clothing that was hung on hangars.
"Professor Snape!" Hermione began as soon as she saw him turn the corner towards the potions classroom, and she bolted over to him, almost slipping in her attempt, and as she opened her mouth again, she was cut off.

"I do not care, Miss Granger," Snape began, "whatever it is, I do not care. If the dark lord is waiting in my classroom to kill me, I do not care. If he has already killed Potter, I DO. NOT. CARE!" And with that he entered his class, where Voldermort was not, but many students were already seated.

Hermione, Ron and Harry entered together, while Ron and Hermione moved to sit down, Harry approached Snape. He had a worried look on his face. Snape knew that if Potter was worried, it would be nothing good for him. Looking at his least favorite student dead in the eye, Snape spoke.

"I will tell you the same thing I told Miss Granger. I do not want to hear a word from you! Just sit down, and shut up." He turned his back on his student, so HE didn't see the Gryffindor golden-boy disappear. He did, however, hear him return, as Harry was mid-yell at the time.


Snape whirled around to find Harry on the floor by his seat. "Miss your chair, Potter?" He sneered, and went back to work.

Class continued without incident. Until, of course...

"I will be coming around now to collect your homework, while you continue work on your potions."

As Snape made his way around the room, he noticed that Harry, Ron and Hermione all seemed to look nervous. What, did none of them do the assigned work? Snape lost sight of Harry's table as he collected Malfoy's homework, so when he arrived and he noticed a student missing, he was quite unhappy.

"Where did Potter go, Miss Granger?" He asked in a tone that stated he really didn't want to know, but as the teacher, he probably should know.

"Well, Sir," she started out a bit waspishly, "had you allowed me to tell-"

She was stopped by Harry, who yelled something odd, then suddenly popped up from under the desk.

"I'm here. What do you wan- I mean, need, Sir?" He asked of his professor.

"I am attempting to collect the homework you were assigned yesterday, the homework I told you repeatedly about yester- Potter?" He had closed his eyes to take a deep breath and calm himself, and when he had opened his eyes, the student he had been speaking to, the student that had been right in front of his face, was gone.

Snape looked around the class, and then looked back when he heard a yell, and there was Potter, again, climbing out from under the table!

"What do you keep going under the table for, Potter?" Snape asked.

"Oh, I keep dropping things. You know me, Sir. Clumsy." Harry stated nervously.

"Yes, well... I am attempting to collect the homework I assigne- cut it out!" Snape had closed his eyes for another deep breath, and again, his student had disappeared from right in front of his face.

"That's it." Snape growled, and he bent over and looked under the table, but Harry wasn't there. He straightened back up, but as he did so, Harry yelled out again, and landed on Snape's back.

Harry at least had a nice cushioned landing, as he landed on his professor. But Snape, not so much. He attempted to hold himself up with the stool Harry used during class, but being so much heavier than Harry, that stool splintered and broke, sending both professor and student to the floor, narrowly missing the table and the potion brewing on the table.

Harry quickly climbed off his professors back so he could help him from the floor. Snape had grabbed Harry's hand, and he was supporting most of his teachers weight, when suddenly, Harry was gone. Puzzlement flickered over Snape's face before dread, as he began falling, with no means to brace or catch himself. His head met the edge of the table with a resounding thud that echoed loud and clear across the entire room. And as one, the entire class flinched and brought a hand to their own heads as though it was them on the floor, not their professor.

After only a few seconds, there was another loud yell, then Harry was back. He was chalk white when he looked down at his professors unmoving body. He quickly glanced around the room. He apparently saw what he was searching for in a giggling Malfoy.

Quickly, Harry vaulted over tables and soon, had the Slytherin in his grasp. Harry had already figured that the port-key was triggered by his anger, so he pictured Malfoy laughing more and more, and suddenly both boys were gone from the room. Only moments passed, when they returned.

Only Harry had returned exactly the same as when he left. He must have moved incredibly quick to pull off what he did with Malfoy. He was completely naked, except a pair of Gryffindor socks and scarf. Not upset about the port-key issue any longer, Harry didn't trigger it again that day.

He didn't however, have his homework finished, but Snape agreed that he couldn't have done it. Not if he kept disappearing.
Dumbledore, however, was now looking for a foul-mouthed invisible-disappearing-stripping ghost.
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