Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Getting My Baby Back
That night Gerard and I rented “Dawn of the Dead”. I made some popcorn and he laid sideways on the couch and I laid next to him. He wrapped his arm around my waist, just like old times. Every once in a while he would look down and smile, then he would give me a quick kiss on the lips.
After he movie ended he climbed over me, stretched. “Come on let’s go to sleep.”
“You’re not going to try to woo me?”
“Not tonight baby. Tonight I just want to hold you and never want to let go. Besides it’s been a long day.”
“I wonder how Ray’s date is going?”
“I hope it goes well he deserves a little happiness, since I fucked it up so badly.”
“Gerard.”
“I seem to fuck everone’s life up. I fucked up the guys with the booze and the drugs. I fucked up your life for the same reason. I’m sorry baby. But I swear to you what ever it takes for you to get your kid back I’ll do.”
I gave a deep sigh.
“What’s the matter baby?” he asked. He took my hands and lifted me from the couch then wrapped his arms around me.
“How the fuck am I going to tell Bob, and then ask him for his help?”
“I’ll tell you what in the morning we’ll talk to Ray, maybe he’ll have some sage advice.”
“Sounds good.”
I got into my pjs while Gee stripped down to his boxers, then we climbed into my parents old bed. I layed my head on his chest and and he wrapped his arms around me then he whispered, “I love you.”
I looked up into his amazing eyes and whispered back, “I love you too.” He held me tighter then kissed the top of my head. At that moment I felt all my problems were a million miles away.
The next day we woke up a little after noon, got dressed and headed out to his house. On the way I dialed Ray’s phone to make sure he was going to be home.
It rang a couple of times before I heard one of my favorite voices in the world.
“Hey Lyss what’s up?”
“We’re on our way over and we’re stopping at Starbuck’s for some coffee, want some?”
“Sure. Gerard knows what I like.”
“How was your date last night?”
“Amazing, I really like her. We stayed up talking until three and then we went to bed. I dropped her off a little while ago.”
“Mr. Toro I didn’t know you were that kind of guy.”
“She slept in my bed while I slept in Gerard’s thank you very mcuh. Unlike you I’m sure.”
“We just went to sleep ourselves, it was a long emotional day.”
“What happened after I left?”
“We’ll talk about it when we get there.”
Fifteen minutes later we were walking in the door, coffee in hand.
“So what’s going on?” he asked.
“We saw her yesterday,” I said quietly.
“You have to stop torturing yourself over it.”
“Her arm was broken.”
“You think they did it?”
“I’m praying no, but my gut says yes. The sooner I get her out of there the better.”
“Which leads us to talk to you,” said Gerard.
“How do I tell Bob and how do I ask him to help?”
“Are you going to take my advice this time?”
“I swear to God, yes.”
“Be honest. Make sure he knows that you two are together. You are together right?” he looked between us.
I looked at Gerard and he wrapped his arm around my waist, “Yeah we’re together.”
“Just let him know there’s no chance of you two getting together, don’t drag his heart into this.”
“How do you think he’ll take it?” Gerard asked.
“How did you?” Ray replied.
“But I’m not the father.”
“Maybe this is all a bad idea, maybe I wasn’t meant to get her back,” I finally spoke.
Ray looked at me straight in the eye, “There’s only one way to find out.” Ray took his wallet out of his back pocket and pulled a card. “Here call him.”
I reached out to take the number and my hand was shaking so much. I knew my whole life was dependent on the number on that card.
I looked at the two of them, “Do you mind if I use…”
“Go right ahead baby,” he kissed the top of my head and held me tight I just lost it I started sobbing into his chest. I heard footsteps indicating Ray was leaving, he knew Gerard and I needed to be alone.
“Do you want me to go too?” He asked as he held me.
I looked up at him with tears in my eyes and shook my head, “No.”
We finally broke apart and I wiped my eyes, I don’t know why there was still tears coming from them. I walked over to the phone in the kitchen, took the receiver off the hook and went to dial. My hands were shaking so much. Gerard gently took the card from my hand and dialed the number for me. He handed me the phone after three rings there was an answer.
“Bryar here.”
“Bob it’s Alyssa Johnson.”
“Alyssa? It’s great hearing from you. How’d you get my number?”
“Ray gave it to me.”
“Are you crying? Is everything okay?”
“Bob can we meet somewhere? We need to talk.”
“Sure, are you in Jersey?”
“Yeah, why don’t you pick a place.”
“How ‘bout 71 Irving Place in the city? There’s a nice little coffee shop there.”
“That sounds great, let’s say three o’clock.”
“I’ll see you there.”
The other end of the phone went silent. I closed my eyes wondering what the hell did I just get myself into.
“Can I borrow your car, hon?”
“No.”
I just looked at him in shock, “No?”
“I don’t want you driving, especially if the news is upsetting.”
“Fine I’ll take the train, can I have a ride to the station Ray?”
“Baby, I didn’t mean it like that. I meant I’ll drive you, I won’t come in with you unless you want me to.”
“I think this is something I’m better off doing alone.”
“I’ll be waiting outside for you, I want to be there for you.”
“Thanks, have I told you lately that I love you.”
“I can always stand to hear it again, and again, and again. Remember we have eight years to make up of not saying it.”
So I just started saying it over and over again.
Bob’s POV
I can’t believe she actually called, and she sounded so upset too. I hope Way didn’t do anything more. He really upset her the other night. I hope that’s what she wants to talk about. Hopefully she’s finally done with him, he’s done nothing but hurt her.
Time flew as I let my mind wander wondering what she needed to talk to me about and why she was crying. I looked at the clock and it was two. I took a quick shower and changed into what I normally wore, black t-shirt, black hoodie, black jeans and a pair of black slip-ons. I knew it was going to be warm out but this is what I’m most comfortable in.
I took one last look in the mirror and before throwing on my shades. I grabbed my keys from the key rack and left wondering what laid ahead for me.
Traffic was a breeze for a change and I was there close to twenty-five minutes later. I was five minutes early, I got a table in a corner and waited.
It was a half hour later and I was ready to leave. I couldn’t believe I was being played for a fool again. I was about to ask the waitress for the check, when she walked in. My heart was in my throat when I saw her. She looked beautiful, she wore a tight pair of jean shorts that went to her knees, a white sleeveless button down shirt and a pair of black Converse All-Stars. When I looked in her eyes I could see that she had been crying. She stopped a waitress who pointed to my table so I gave a slight wave.
I stood up as she approached the table and pulled the seat out for her. I smiled and said, “I didn’t think you were coming.”
“I’m sorry I’m late.”
“Are you okay, I mean we can do this another time. You just seem really emotional right now.”
“No I really need to talk to you.”
“Okay, let me get you some coffee and we’ll talk.” My mind was spinning a thousand miles per hour, wondering what she needed to talk to me about. Her voice seemed so desperate, so needing.
The waitress came over and took our orders, and soon the small talk ensued.
After ten minutes of niceties she took a deep breath, I knew it was time to talk about what really was on her mind.
“Bob I needed to talk to you regarding that night.”
“I thought you said you didn’t regret it?” I asked hoping she hadn’t lied to me.
“In some ways I don’t at all, in other ways I do. What I did was inexcusible, I had no right to do what I did to you,” she said as she lowered her head.
I leaned in and put my forefinger and thumb one either side of her chin, and lifted her head so her eyes met mine.
“That was easily the best night of my life. I love you Alyssa.”
She started crying, “Don’t say thing like that. Don’t you understand I don’t love you, I could never love you. I love Gerard.”
“Even if he keeps hurting you?”
“He’s not hurting me anymore, he loves me.”
“Yeah, loved you so much that he made you fuck another man.”
“That was my choice, I could have said no.”
“Then why’d you do it?”
“You know why.”
“Nothing more to it than that? I was only good enough for drugs.”
“I’m sorry about that, I knew I was taking advantage of you, for what it’s worth, you weren’t bad for a first timer.”
“Just what I wanted to hear. Why are we here today other than to embarrass me?”
“Something happened that night that I never really told anyone.”
Could it be that she changed her mind and started liking me? Is that why she went away?
“What?” I asked hopeful of the answer.
“I got pregnant.”
My eyes must have popped out of my head because at that point I couldn’t see correctly. The images were all blurred. I finally got my shit together and looked at her, “What?”
“I got pregnant that night.” She looked like a huge weight was removed from her shoulders.
“I fucking heard you the first time. So eight years ago, you got pregnant and didn’t have the decency to tell me?”
“Bob you were fifteen, I was sixteen, what could you have done about it?”
“I don’t know, we could have talked, we could have been together raising our child.”
“Bob that’s a fantasy world you’re living in. I would have never left Gerard for you. Don’t you get it I LOVE GERARD!! I still love him. We’re back together again.”
“So what the fuck do you want from me?” I asked and then it dawned on me. “I get it, you see how much Way fucked up and how well I’m doing and you want me to support you and Way. Fuck you Alyssa, and to think I have feelings for you.”
I took a twenty from my wallet and threw it on the table, “Here’s all the fucking support you’ll get from me.”
Alyssa’s POV
Tears were running down my eyes, I never even got to tell him anything about Emily. Suddenly I felt two arms engulfing me. “It’s okay baby.”
“I never got to tell him, how I gave her up, or how I think she’s being abused, or anything. He just walked out thinking I want money from him."
Gerard just held me tighter and whispered in my ear, “Don’t worry, I have a back-up plan.”
After he movie ended he climbed over me, stretched. “Come on let’s go to sleep.”
“You’re not going to try to woo me?”
“Not tonight baby. Tonight I just want to hold you and never want to let go. Besides it’s been a long day.”
“I wonder how Ray’s date is going?”
“I hope it goes well he deserves a little happiness, since I fucked it up so badly.”
“Gerard.”
“I seem to fuck everone’s life up. I fucked up the guys with the booze and the drugs. I fucked up your life for the same reason. I’m sorry baby. But I swear to you what ever it takes for you to get your kid back I’ll do.”
I gave a deep sigh.
“What’s the matter baby?” he asked. He took my hands and lifted me from the couch then wrapped his arms around me.
“How the fuck am I going to tell Bob, and then ask him for his help?”
“I’ll tell you what in the morning we’ll talk to Ray, maybe he’ll have some sage advice.”
“Sounds good.”
I got into my pjs while Gee stripped down to his boxers, then we climbed into my parents old bed. I layed my head on his chest and and he wrapped his arms around me then he whispered, “I love you.”
I looked up into his amazing eyes and whispered back, “I love you too.” He held me tighter then kissed the top of my head. At that moment I felt all my problems were a million miles away.
The next day we woke up a little after noon, got dressed and headed out to his house. On the way I dialed Ray’s phone to make sure he was going to be home.
It rang a couple of times before I heard one of my favorite voices in the world.
“Hey Lyss what’s up?”
“We’re on our way over and we’re stopping at Starbuck’s for some coffee, want some?”
“Sure. Gerard knows what I like.”
“How was your date last night?”
“Amazing, I really like her. We stayed up talking until three and then we went to bed. I dropped her off a little while ago.”
“Mr. Toro I didn’t know you were that kind of guy.”
“She slept in my bed while I slept in Gerard’s thank you very mcuh. Unlike you I’m sure.”
“We just went to sleep ourselves, it was a long emotional day.”
“What happened after I left?”
“We’ll talk about it when we get there.”
Fifteen minutes later we were walking in the door, coffee in hand.
“So what’s going on?” he asked.
“We saw her yesterday,” I said quietly.
“You have to stop torturing yourself over it.”
“Her arm was broken.”
“You think they did it?”
“I’m praying no, but my gut says yes. The sooner I get her out of there the better.”
“Which leads us to talk to you,” said Gerard.
“How do I tell Bob and how do I ask him to help?”
“Are you going to take my advice this time?”
“I swear to God, yes.”
“Be honest. Make sure he knows that you two are together. You are together right?” he looked between us.
I looked at Gerard and he wrapped his arm around my waist, “Yeah we’re together.”
“Just let him know there’s no chance of you two getting together, don’t drag his heart into this.”
“How do you think he’ll take it?” Gerard asked.
“How did you?” Ray replied.
“But I’m not the father.”
“Maybe this is all a bad idea, maybe I wasn’t meant to get her back,” I finally spoke.
Ray looked at me straight in the eye, “There’s only one way to find out.” Ray took his wallet out of his back pocket and pulled a card. “Here call him.”
I reached out to take the number and my hand was shaking so much. I knew my whole life was dependent on the number on that card.
I looked at the two of them, “Do you mind if I use…”
“Go right ahead baby,” he kissed the top of my head and held me tight I just lost it I started sobbing into his chest. I heard footsteps indicating Ray was leaving, he knew Gerard and I needed to be alone.
“Do you want me to go too?” He asked as he held me.
I looked up at him with tears in my eyes and shook my head, “No.”
We finally broke apart and I wiped my eyes, I don’t know why there was still tears coming from them. I walked over to the phone in the kitchen, took the receiver off the hook and went to dial. My hands were shaking so much. Gerard gently took the card from my hand and dialed the number for me. He handed me the phone after three rings there was an answer.
“Bryar here.”
“Bob it’s Alyssa Johnson.”
“Alyssa? It’s great hearing from you. How’d you get my number?”
“Ray gave it to me.”
“Are you crying? Is everything okay?”
“Bob can we meet somewhere? We need to talk.”
“Sure, are you in Jersey?”
“Yeah, why don’t you pick a place.”
“How ‘bout 71 Irving Place in the city? There’s a nice little coffee shop there.”
“That sounds great, let’s say three o’clock.”
“I’ll see you there.”
The other end of the phone went silent. I closed my eyes wondering what the hell did I just get myself into.
“Can I borrow your car, hon?”
“No.”
I just looked at him in shock, “No?”
“I don’t want you driving, especially if the news is upsetting.”
“Fine I’ll take the train, can I have a ride to the station Ray?”
“Baby, I didn’t mean it like that. I meant I’ll drive you, I won’t come in with you unless you want me to.”
“I think this is something I’m better off doing alone.”
“I’ll be waiting outside for you, I want to be there for you.”
“Thanks, have I told you lately that I love you.”
“I can always stand to hear it again, and again, and again. Remember we have eight years to make up of not saying it.”
So I just started saying it over and over again.
Bob’s POV
I can’t believe she actually called, and she sounded so upset too. I hope Way didn’t do anything more. He really upset her the other night. I hope that’s what she wants to talk about. Hopefully she’s finally done with him, he’s done nothing but hurt her.
Time flew as I let my mind wander wondering what she needed to talk to me about and why she was crying. I looked at the clock and it was two. I took a quick shower and changed into what I normally wore, black t-shirt, black hoodie, black jeans and a pair of black slip-ons. I knew it was going to be warm out but this is what I’m most comfortable in.
I took one last look in the mirror and before throwing on my shades. I grabbed my keys from the key rack and left wondering what laid ahead for me.
Traffic was a breeze for a change and I was there close to twenty-five minutes later. I was five minutes early, I got a table in a corner and waited.
It was a half hour later and I was ready to leave. I couldn’t believe I was being played for a fool again. I was about to ask the waitress for the check, when she walked in. My heart was in my throat when I saw her. She looked beautiful, she wore a tight pair of jean shorts that went to her knees, a white sleeveless button down shirt and a pair of black Converse All-Stars. When I looked in her eyes I could see that she had been crying. She stopped a waitress who pointed to my table so I gave a slight wave.
I stood up as she approached the table and pulled the seat out for her. I smiled and said, “I didn’t think you were coming.”
“I’m sorry I’m late.”
“Are you okay, I mean we can do this another time. You just seem really emotional right now.”
“No I really need to talk to you.”
“Okay, let me get you some coffee and we’ll talk.” My mind was spinning a thousand miles per hour, wondering what she needed to talk to me about. Her voice seemed so desperate, so needing.
The waitress came over and took our orders, and soon the small talk ensued.
After ten minutes of niceties she took a deep breath, I knew it was time to talk about what really was on her mind.
“Bob I needed to talk to you regarding that night.”
“I thought you said you didn’t regret it?” I asked hoping she hadn’t lied to me.
“In some ways I don’t at all, in other ways I do. What I did was inexcusible, I had no right to do what I did to you,” she said as she lowered her head.
I leaned in and put my forefinger and thumb one either side of her chin, and lifted her head so her eyes met mine.
“That was easily the best night of my life. I love you Alyssa.”
She started crying, “Don’t say thing like that. Don’t you understand I don’t love you, I could never love you. I love Gerard.”
“Even if he keeps hurting you?”
“He’s not hurting me anymore, he loves me.”
“Yeah, loved you so much that he made you fuck another man.”
“That was my choice, I could have said no.”
“Then why’d you do it?”
“You know why.”
“Nothing more to it than that? I was only good enough for drugs.”
“I’m sorry about that, I knew I was taking advantage of you, for what it’s worth, you weren’t bad for a first timer.”
“Just what I wanted to hear. Why are we here today other than to embarrass me?”
“Something happened that night that I never really told anyone.”
Could it be that she changed her mind and started liking me? Is that why she went away?
“What?” I asked hopeful of the answer.
“I got pregnant.”
My eyes must have popped out of my head because at that point I couldn’t see correctly. The images were all blurred. I finally got my shit together and looked at her, “What?”
“I got pregnant that night.” She looked like a huge weight was removed from her shoulders.
“I fucking heard you the first time. So eight years ago, you got pregnant and didn’t have the decency to tell me?”
“Bob you were fifteen, I was sixteen, what could you have done about it?”
“I don’t know, we could have talked, we could have been together raising our child.”
“Bob that’s a fantasy world you’re living in. I would have never left Gerard for you. Don’t you get it I LOVE GERARD!! I still love him. We’re back together again.”
“So what the fuck do you want from me?” I asked and then it dawned on me. “I get it, you see how much Way fucked up and how well I’m doing and you want me to support you and Way. Fuck you Alyssa, and to think I have feelings for you.”
I took a twenty from my wallet and threw it on the table, “Here’s all the fucking support you’ll get from me.”
Alyssa’s POV
Tears were running down my eyes, I never even got to tell him anything about Emily. Suddenly I felt two arms engulfing me. “It’s okay baby.”
“I never got to tell him, how I gave her up, or how I think she’s being abused, or anything. He just walked out thinking I want money from him."
Gerard just held me tighter and whispered in my ear, “Don’t worry, I have a back-up plan.”
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