Categories > Original > Drama > Beat of Their Own Drums
The Day Before You
0 reviewsHe'd always known that he was far too prickly to be loved. It was not a matter of if he could love, but if he could be loved. Song used: Rascal Flatts' "The Day Before You"
0Unrated
A/N: All right! Hello again, everyone! I tried something a little different this time and decided to retry a oneshot written from Keefer's point of view. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own the lyrics to "The Day Before You".
Song Used: Rascal Flatt's "The Day Before You".
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Twenty-Seven: The Day Before You
Puppet: Keefe O'Kane
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I had all but given up,
On finding the one that I could fall into,
On the day before you,
I was ready to settle for,
Less than love and not much more,
There was no such thing as a dream come true,
Oh, but that was the day before you...
They were so in love.
I could see it in their eyes when they looked at one another. I could hear it in the gentle tones they were using as they spoke to one another. So strong, so intense was the emotion crackling between those two beings that I could feel it in the air as I stood idly by and watched, unsure if I was endeared or if I was repulsed as their lips finally stopped moving and quietly sought the others' out.
She was a pretty girl without any doubt, what with those thoughtful blue eyes and that confused onyx hair falling just past her lean shoulders. She was agreeable too, as far as I could tell. She insulted my brother only when playing with him, and requested him to do things only when she honestly couldn't do them herself. I liked the fact that she didn't talk much; talkative girls had always struck me as being a waste of time.
I had to admit they looked good together. All too often I found myself looking at the picture he kept of them sitting on the desk in our room, or at they themselves when I had the honor of seeing the prince and princess live and in person.
And I was green with jealousy.
But I couldn't let him see that. If he noticed or if I said anything, surely he would jump to the conclusion that it was Paige I wanted, and I was fairly certain that if I, or anyone else, tried to take her from him, he would kill them. She was a beautiful, quiet, charming creature, but, however Mac disagreed, she wasn't worth dying over.
No, it wasn't the girl I wanted at all. It was that unconditional love she and Mac shared, the idea that someone out there could care for me no matter what I did, that made me envious.
And I knew I couldn't have that, anyway. I was too cynical, too sarcastic, too sadistic. My brother and my mother only loved me because I was their brother and their son, not because I was enjoyable or a joy to have around. I knew that. Everyone knew that. It was a fact of life; just like how a piece of paper can only be folded seven times. It had stopped bothering me a long time ago.
But watching them together now, my twin with his arms around her and his breath shared with another person charitable enough to let him, made me feel so cold. I wanted someone to hold like that. I wanted someone to kiss like that. I wanted to love someone like that.
It was not as if I was incapable of loving anyone, after all. It was just that no one could bring themselves to love me back.
Now you're here and everything's changing,
Suddenly life means so much,
I can't wait to wake up tomorrow,
And find out this promise is true,
I will never have to go back to,
The day before you...
But then I met her and my life felt as if it'd been dumped into a dryer that had already been running.
Paige, Mac, and I had driven down to a dude ranch in Montana to celebrate Paige's first summer after finishing school down in South America. Casey Thane had been the first person we met once we arrived, and instantly I knew I saw something special in her eyes.
But right now, laying flat on my back on the hard, uneven wooden porch and trying not to breath too much, I couldn't help but think she was going to be just like the rest of them. I vied with the other cowpokes on the ranch for her attention, but it seemed that the harder I tried, the less interested she became. I'd nearly got myself killed yesterday; fell off a wild bronc and broke a couple of ribs.
“Keefe?”
Instantaneously I recognized the sound of her voice and sat bolt upright, only to have a shooting pain in my left side knock me flat again with a groan. My cheeks burned furiously with shame; she couldn't see me like this if she was going to fall in love with me. Why was she here? I closed my eyes, vainly hoping that if I couldn't see her, she couldn't see me. “What do you want?” I barked, harsher than I meant to.
“I-I just came to see if you were all right.” She explained uncertainly, obviously put off by my aggressive manner.
“Fine.” I lied gruffly.
“Are you sure?” her voice got a little louder and I could hear her footsteps as she nervously inched toward me, “It looked like you took a pretty nasty spill.”
Something cool brushed against my brow and I, startled by the strange coldness of it, flinched away. Only after it was too late did I realize I'd just ruined probably the only chance I'd ever get to have her skin brushing against mine. Damn! “No worse than anyone else before me.”
“That's probably true.”
The coolness returned and this time I didn't jerk away. I didn't lean into it the way an attention-starved cat rubbed into its owner's hand, either. I simply laid there and allowed her fingers, which I noticed were firm and callused, to brush over my eyebrow. I liked the way my skin tingled from her touch, but the chances were it wouldn't happen again anytime soon.
I enjoyed it while I could.
“Keefe?”
In your eyes I can see forever,
It makes me wish that my life never knew,
The day before you,
Oh, but Heaven knows those years without you,
Were shapin' my heart for the day that I found you,
You're the reason for all that I've been through,
Then I'm thankful for the day before you,
Yeah, yeah...
“Mm?” I answered sluggishly, liking the way my name sounded on her lips and wondering what it was that she wanted. I didn't open my eyes specifically so that I could focus on breathing in her smell without actually looking like I was trying to. She smelled of earth and horses, but I couldn't say that I didn't like it. It was so intriguing after meeting city girl after city girl who used sickly sweet perfume that was far too strong.
“Open your eyes,” she requested, “feels like you're trying to hide from me.”
I quickly did as I was asked and flicked open both eyes, only to find hers startlingly close. Her nose hung a mere inch or two from the tip of mine and her lips...oh, God, her lips were in such easy reach. Had I been a lesser being I would've kissed them right away, but I respectfully lay still. “Better?”
She smiled a little and my heart fluttered like a startled bird with excitement. Maybe there was hope for me yet! “Much.”
I peered up at her and focused hard on her eyes, forcing myself to not look at her mouth to keep myself from making a mistake and kissing her when the time wasn't right. That's when I realized what that special something I'd seen earlier was. She didn't flinch. She wasn't anxious because of my eyes like everyone else.
She wasn't afraid.
“You're not looking away.” I observed coolly, half closing my eyes. Was it possible that the others who had cringed away before her had only done it so that I could easily distinguish her as set apart? Could it be that perhaps she felt a spark too, and that's why she braved the hypnotic gaze of the new city boy hanging around?
If that was the case, then God bless every last one of those people.
She smiled again. “'Course not,” she said in her charming Western drawl as if it were the most natural thing in the world, “why would I? You've got interestin' eyes.”
I blinked. They'd been called cold, smoldering, flashing, seething, and a number of other things, but never before had anyone complimented them at all, much less told me they were interesting. For once in my life, I felt completely disarmed. “C-Casey, I...”
I love you! I want to hold you, kiss you, marry you! Jesus, do you know how long I've waited for this?
But I didn't have to wait any longer, because she let me kiss her and forever changed a man's life.
Now you're here and everything's changing,
Suddenly life means so much,
I can't wait to wake up tomorrow,
And find out this promise is true,
I will never have to go back to,
The day before you...
I knew she had been special, and that single kiss, among other things, proved it. I could feel it in the way she kissed me back. Just like I could feel the unbreakable bond my brother and his mate shared just by being near them, I felt a difference in her response and knew she was not like the other girls I'd met.
And, for the first time in a long time, I discovered hope.
It was a strange emotion, really, after living without it for so long. It was like only yesterday I'd been living with a heavy stone for a heart and it had been weighing me down, making my skin as cold and untouchable as it felt. But today, something soft, warm, and alive seemed to have taken its place. It flickered when I saw her, danced when she smiled at me, and flew when she stood up on her tip toes and kissed me the same way she had on the porch.
Days went by and for once, I enjoyed every second of them. I felt so different when she was around, and when she was gone all I could do was make the most of the painful wait for her return. Mac noticed the change and kept asking me if I was high on painkillers, to which I just smiled at him and told him that he was close, but I was on a different sort of high.
I didn't care how fast I was moving. I'd found the missing part of me and that was all that mattered.
Weeks came and went. Casey taught me how to ride a horse and we started going out on trails, just the two of us. The warm summer sun and her presence loosened my tongue and I talked about things I would normally would never speak of even with my brother, like my long-gone father. She too, had a story, and I listened with the single goal of getting to know her better. She and I grew closer and closer almost everyday
Suddenly, I knew why Mac was so protective of Paige. He felt this freedom of loving and being loved and was so terrified of losing it that he was more than willing to lay down his life if it meant he could hold her close one more time.
Suddenly, I understood why he talked about her so much, even though I never really talked about Casey. He too, missed her sorely when she wasn't around and talking about her somehow made the ache dull rather than sharp.
Suddenly, I realized why he would sometimes stare off into space and smile to himself. My mind had never been prone to wandering, so one can imagine just how distracting she was when I say that I found myself doing the same thing twice, sometimes thrice a day.
And most importantly, I suddenly realized how hard it really was to tell someone how I felt. Up until now, I couldn't help but think of those boys who whined about how scary it was saying those three words as pathetic. But now...
Was the last day that I ever lived alone,
And I'm never goin' back,
No, I'm never goin' back...
It was time for us to leave for home. We were standing out in front of our cabin, Mac's car filled with our things and ready to go. Mac was saying goodbye to Jack, the owner, while Paige and Casey hugged and said their goodbyes as well. I stood alone, breathless and watching, hoping this was a nightmare; was I really going to have to leave her?
Just the thought made tears, unwelcome strangers, prick at my eyes. I didn't want to go back to the way I'd been.
No, scratch that. I wouldn't go back.
As soon as Paige was finished Casey approached me cautiously, as if she was afraid I may try and take a swipe at her. “Well, Keefe,” she said softly, “I guess this is it, huh?”
I bit the inside of my cheek. “Yeah. Guess the fun's over now.”
She came in close, wrapping her arms around my neck and letting me feel her calming heartbeat so close to mine. “I'm really gonna miss you, greenhorn.”
My hands came to encircle her waist and I drew in a deep sigh, breathing in the surprisingly captivating smell of natural earth and animals I'd come to recognize as hers. “You won't have to,” I whispered, giving voice to a plan that had manifested itself in my head quite some time ago, “I'm staying here. I'll find a job on the ranch and live here, like Dallas or Cage.”
Her big, watery blue eyes widened in surprise at the severity of what I was saying. “A job? Here...? But you can't even -”
“I'll learn!” I cut in desperately, knowing that she was probably going to say something about how I didn't know how to rope a calf or break in a horse, “I'm not leaving. I can't lose you. I won't.”
“Oh, Keefe...” she pushed her head underneath my chin and played with a curl of my hair as she spoke, her voice low and thick with emotion, “I was hoping you'd say something like that.”
I smiled. I wasn't sure if my plan was going to work or even if it was all together worth trying, but that didn't matter. We were going to figure this out. I wouldn't have to go back.
“Love you, Case.”
Now you're here and everything's changing,
Suddenly life means so much,
I can't wait to wake up tomorrow,
And find out this promise is true,
I will never have to go back to,
Yeah, I will never have to go back to,
The day before you, the day before you.
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A/N: I really liked the beginning of this piece, but I can't help but think that somewhere in the middle I kind of lost track and the quality here kind of went down the tubes. However, I really liked writing from Keefe's point of view. I should do it more often.
Disclaimer: I do not own the lyrics to "The Day Before You".
Song Used: Rascal Flatt's "The Day Before You".
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Twenty-Seven: The Day Before You
Puppet: Keefe O'Kane
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I had all but given up,
On finding the one that I could fall into,
On the day before you,
I was ready to settle for,
Less than love and not much more,
There was no such thing as a dream come true,
Oh, but that was the day before you...
They were so in love.
I could see it in their eyes when they looked at one another. I could hear it in the gentle tones they were using as they spoke to one another. So strong, so intense was the emotion crackling between those two beings that I could feel it in the air as I stood idly by and watched, unsure if I was endeared or if I was repulsed as their lips finally stopped moving and quietly sought the others' out.
She was a pretty girl without any doubt, what with those thoughtful blue eyes and that confused onyx hair falling just past her lean shoulders. She was agreeable too, as far as I could tell. She insulted my brother only when playing with him, and requested him to do things only when she honestly couldn't do them herself. I liked the fact that she didn't talk much; talkative girls had always struck me as being a waste of time.
I had to admit they looked good together. All too often I found myself looking at the picture he kept of them sitting on the desk in our room, or at they themselves when I had the honor of seeing the prince and princess live and in person.
And I was green with jealousy.
But I couldn't let him see that. If he noticed or if I said anything, surely he would jump to the conclusion that it was Paige I wanted, and I was fairly certain that if I, or anyone else, tried to take her from him, he would kill them. She was a beautiful, quiet, charming creature, but, however Mac disagreed, she wasn't worth dying over.
No, it wasn't the girl I wanted at all. It was that unconditional love she and Mac shared, the idea that someone out there could care for me no matter what I did, that made me envious.
And I knew I couldn't have that, anyway. I was too cynical, too sarcastic, too sadistic. My brother and my mother only loved me because I was their brother and their son, not because I was enjoyable or a joy to have around. I knew that. Everyone knew that. It was a fact of life; just like how a piece of paper can only be folded seven times. It had stopped bothering me a long time ago.
But watching them together now, my twin with his arms around her and his breath shared with another person charitable enough to let him, made me feel so cold. I wanted someone to hold like that. I wanted someone to kiss like that. I wanted to love someone like that.
It was not as if I was incapable of loving anyone, after all. It was just that no one could bring themselves to love me back.
Now you're here and everything's changing,
Suddenly life means so much,
I can't wait to wake up tomorrow,
And find out this promise is true,
I will never have to go back to,
The day before you...
But then I met her and my life felt as if it'd been dumped into a dryer that had already been running.
Paige, Mac, and I had driven down to a dude ranch in Montana to celebrate Paige's first summer after finishing school down in South America. Casey Thane had been the first person we met once we arrived, and instantly I knew I saw something special in her eyes.
But right now, laying flat on my back on the hard, uneven wooden porch and trying not to breath too much, I couldn't help but think she was going to be just like the rest of them. I vied with the other cowpokes on the ranch for her attention, but it seemed that the harder I tried, the less interested she became. I'd nearly got myself killed yesterday; fell off a wild bronc and broke a couple of ribs.
“Keefe?”
Instantaneously I recognized the sound of her voice and sat bolt upright, only to have a shooting pain in my left side knock me flat again with a groan. My cheeks burned furiously with shame; she couldn't see me like this if she was going to fall in love with me. Why was she here? I closed my eyes, vainly hoping that if I couldn't see her, she couldn't see me. “What do you want?” I barked, harsher than I meant to.
“I-I just came to see if you were all right.” She explained uncertainly, obviously put off by my aggressive manner.
“Fine.” I lied gruffly.
“Are you sure?” her voice got a little louder and I could hear her footsteps as she nervously inched toward me, “It looked like you took a pretty nasty spill.”
Something cool brushed against my brow and I, startled by the strange coldness of it, flinched away. Only after it was too late did I realize I'd just ruined probably the only chance I'd ever get to have her skin brushing against mine. Damn! “No worse than anyone else before me.”
“That's probably true.”
The coolness returned and this time I didn't jerk away. I didn't lean into it the way an attention-starved cat rubbed into its owner's hand, either. I simply laid there and allowed her fingers, which I noticed were firm and callused, to brush over my eyebrow. I liked the way my skin tingled from her touch, but the chances were it wouldn't happen again anytime soon.
I enjoyed it while I could.
“Keefe?”
In your eyes I can see forever,
It makes me wish that my life never knew,
The day before you,
Oh, but Heaven knows those years without you,
Were shapin' my heart for the day that I found you,
You're the reason for all that I've been through,
Then I'm thankful for the day before you,
Yeah, yeah...
“Mm?” I answered sluggishly, liking the way my name sounded on her lips and wondering what it was that she wanted. I didn't open my eyes specifically so that I could focus on breathing in her smell without actually looking like I was trying to. She smelled of earth and horses, but I couldn't say that I didn't like it. It was so intriguing after meeting city girl after city girl who used sickly sweet perfume that was far too strong.
“Open your eyes,” she requested, “feels like you're trying to hide from me.”
I quickly did as I was asked and flicked open both eyes, only to find hers startlingly close. Her nose hung a mere inch or two from the tip of mine and her lips...oh, God, her lips were in such easy reach. Had I been a lesser being I would've kissed them right away, but I respectfully lay still. “Better?”
She smiled a little and my heart fluttered like a startled bird with excitement. Maybe there was hope for me yet! “Much.”
I peered up at her and focused hard on her eyes, forcing myself to not look at her mouth to keep myself from making a mistake and kissing her when the time wasn't right. That's when I realized what that special something I'd seen earlier was. She didn't flinch. She wasn't anxious because of my eyes like everyone else.
She wasn't afraid.
“You're not looking away.” I observed coolly, half closing my eyes. Was it possible that the others who had cringed away before her had only done it so that I could easily distinguish her as set apart? Could it be that perhaps she felt a spark too, and that's why she braved the hypnotic gaze of the new city boy hanging around?
If that was the case, then God bless every last one of those people.
She smiled again. “'Course not,” she said in her charming Western drawl as if it were the most natural thing in the world, “why would I? You've got interestin' eyes.”
I blinked. They'd been called cold, smoldering, flashing, seething, and a number of other things, but never before had anyone complimented them at all, much less told me they were interesting. For once in my life, I felt completely disarmed. “C-Casey, I...”
I love you! I want to hold you, kiss you, marry you! Jesus, do you know how long I've waited for this?
But I didn't have to wait any longer, because she let me kiss her and forever changed a man's life.
Now you're here and everything's changing,
Suddenly life means so much,
I can't wait to wake up tomorrow,
And find out this promise is true,
I will never have to go back to,
The day before you...
I knew she had been special, and that single kiss, among other things, proved it. I could feel it in the way she kissed me back. Just like I could feel the unbreakable bond my brother and his mate shared just by being near them, I felt a difference in her response and knew she was not like the other girls I'd met.
And, for the first time in a long time, I discovered hope.
It was a strange emotion, really, after living without it for so long. It was like only yesterday I'd been living with a heavy stone for a heart and it had been weighing me down, making my skin as cold and untouchable as it felt. But today, something soft, warm, and alive seemed to have taken its place. It flickered when I saw her, danced when she smiled at me, and flew when she stood up on her tip toes and kissed me the same way she had on the porch.
Days went by and for once, I enjoyed every second of them. I felt so different when she was around, and when she was gone all I could do was make the most of the painful wait for her return. Mac noticed the change and kept asking me if I was high on painkillers, to which I just smiled at him and told him that he was close, but I was on a different sort of high.
I didn't care how fast I was moving. I'd found the missing part of me and that was all that mattered.
Weeks came and went. Casey taught me how to ride a horse and we started going out on trails, just the two of us. The warm summer sun and her presence loosened my tongue and I talked about things I would normally would never speak of even with my brother, like my long-gone father. She too, had a story, and I listened with the single goal of getting to know her better. She and I grew closer and closer almost everyday
Suddenly, I knew why Mac was so protective of Paige. He felt this freedom of loving and being loved and was so terrified of losing it that he was more than willing to lay down his life if it meant he could hold her close one more time.
Suddenly, I understood why he talked about her so much, even though I never really talked about Casey. He too, missed her sorely when she wasn't around and talking about her somehow made the ache dull rather than sharp.
Suddenly, I realized why he would sometimes stare off into space and smile to himself. My mind had never been prone to wandering, so one can imagine just how distracting she was when I say that I found myself doing the same thing twice, sometimes thrice a day.
And most importantly, I suddenly realized how hard it really was to tell someone how I felt. Up until now, I couldn't help but think of those boys who whined about how scary it was saying those three words as pathetic. But now...
Was the last day that I ever lived alone,
And I'm never goin' back,
No, I'm never goin' back...
It was time for us to leave for home. We were standing out in front of our cabin, Mac's car filled with our things and ready to go. Mac was saying goodbye to Jack, the owner, while Paige and Casey hugged and said their goodbyes as well. I stood alone, breathless and watching, hoping this was a nightmare; was I really going to have to leave her?
Just the thought made tears, unwelcome strangers, prick at my eyes. I didn't want to go back to the way I'd been.
No, scratch that. I wouldn't go back.
As soon as Paige was finished Casey approached me cautiously, as if she was afraid I may try and take a swipe at her. “Well, Keefe,” she said softly, “I guess this is it, huh?”
I bit the inside of my cheek. “Yeah. Guess the fun's over now.”
She came in close, wrapping her arms around my neck and letting me feel her calming heartbeat so close to mine. “I'm really gonna miss you, greenhorn.”
My hands came to encircle her waist and I drew in a deep sigh, breathing in the surprisingly captivating smell of natural earth and animals I'd come to recognize as hers. “You won't have to,” I whispered, giving voice to a plan that had manifested itself in my head quite some time ago, “I'm staying here. I'll find a job on the ranch and live here, like Dallas or Cage.”
Her big, watery blue eyes widened in surprise at the severity of what I was saying. “A job? Here...? But you can't even -”
“I'll learn!” I cut in desperately, knowing that she was probably going to say something about how I didn't know how to rope a calf or break in a horse, “I'm not leaving. I can't lose you. I won't.”
“Oh, Keefe...” she pushed her head underneath my chin and played with a curl of my hair as she spoke, her voice low and thick with emotion, “I was hoping you'd say something like that.”
I smiled. I wasn't sure if my plan was going to work or even if it was all together worth trying, but that didn't matter. We were going to figure this out. I wouldn't have to go back.
“Love you, Case.”
Now you're here and everything's changing,
Suddenly life means so much,
I can't wait to wake up tomorrow,
And find out this promise is true,
I will never have to go back to,
Yeah, I will never have to go back to,
The day before you, the day before you.
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A/N: I really liked the beginning of this piece, but I can't help but think that somewhere in the middle I kind of lost track and the quality here kind of went down the tubes. However, I really liked writing from Keefe's point of view. I should do it more often.
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