FicWad

Oh the joys of reading scifi fan fiction,
Where adventures are extended beyond all description.
Only one book written? A TV series canned?
No matter. Their world is ripe to expand!

There’s warriors who win all their battles with ease,
Who in fanfic are routinely maimed and diseased.
There’s characters in canon who hate each other’s guts,
In fanfic they’re married…with kids…and they’re nuts.

And for some writers, their marriage is far too ‘straight’,
When there’s a same sex crew available to date.
And we mustn’t forget the aliens, oh no.
They’re set to hook up with the star of the show.

Don’t forget the new heroine: trusty, brave and true,
With blonde hair and green eyes – her name’s Mary Sue.
She’s injured on the mission but expected to mend.
No chance of that though – they alway die at the end.

There’s a minor TV character who some consider bland,
In fanfic he’s younger…and the star of a rock band.
And just in case you thought he lives life alone,
There’s a girlfriend and a twin sister at home.

If the fanfic hero wins, it’s a moral victory.
Made easy by a deadly weapon…and telepathy.
In this AU world he’s been blessed with skills,
That would’ve given his original creator the chills.

Of course my scifi fan fiction is nothing like that.
I stick rigidly to canon, I’ve got it down pat.
No alternate universe, not a single Mary Sue…
No wonder the characters have nothing to do.