Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco
More Than Just a Feeling
5 reviewsA brother or more? After a fatal car crash when she was five, Samantha was put into the Uries care after finding out that both her parents had died. Fast forward 13 years and you get an 18 year ol...
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Ever since they were in high school, my mom and Anne Urie were the best of friends. They did everything together. Movies, sleepovers, vacation…you name it. After graduating they both went to college together and met the men of their dreams. They ended up buying houses right next to each other(ha, what a coincidence), vowing to always stay friends no matter what. Soon I was born, and Anne also had a son named Brendon around the same time. Because of their friendship, Anne and her husband became my god parents. If anything were to ever happen to my parents, I would be under the Urie’s care. My parents were never expecting that to actually be needed, but they trusted the Uries more than anyone and thought it would be good to have some reassurance. But even though they thought it wouldn’t be needed, the time came soon when I was put into the Urie’s household.
I have no memory of the accident, other than waking up in a hospital scared and confused. I was only five years old and had no idea what was going on. I woke up to see Mrs. Urie beside me while I was laying in a hospital bed.
“Mrs. Urie…where’s my mommy and daddy?”
“Honey, you all were in a car accident…”
Even though I was only five, I immediately understood from seeing the pain in her eyes. My parents were dead. I couldn’t remember how many days I was in the hospital, but everything seemed to go so fast from there. The funeral came, and soon I was living with the Uries. Which brings me to where I am today. The pain and hurt from my parents death still lingers in my heart, but time has helped to ease the pain. So now I’m a senior in high school, trying to figure out this college stuff and wondering where in heaven’s name my love life is going. I’ve never dated anyone before…yeah, pathetic I know. But there aren’t any guys around here that have interested me enough. I’ve had a few offers, but eh, didn’t seem worth it. Brendon and I spend most of our time together anyways. After my first year of living with the Uries, when I was 6 years old, I asked Mrs. Urie,
“Is Brendon my brother now?”
She wasn’t really sure how to answer, so she just said, “Well..yes, he is like a brother to you now.”
By the time that I reached the age where I was able to really understand that he wasn’t my brother, we already had the brother-sister role down. We would fight like usual siblings, but we’d also have our good times. Now, we’re probably closer than most siblings you would usually see. We always have the best time, no matter what we’re doing. Well, except while we’re doing homework…like right now.
I was seated on Brendon’s bed, across from him as he sat with his head buried in his British Literature book. I couldn’t stand studying anymore, it was putting me to sleep.
“Brendon?”
“Hmm?…” He answered without lifting his head. I hate talking to him when he doesn’t look at me, cause normally that means he’s not paying attention. I reached behind me, grabbed one of his pillows and wacked him on the head with it.
“Ow! Samantha, what the?…oh it’s on now.” He dove for the other pillow that was behind me before I could react. Soon it became an all out war. Our books fell to the floor, and seconds later, so did we. Brendon landed on top of me, and we both laughed.
“Creep, get off of me.” I said while still laughing. He then rolled over onto the carpet, and we both laid in silence for a few seconds, breathing heavily.
“So what were you going to ask me?”
“Nothing, I was just gonna say how much I hate doing all this work.” I said, half groaning.
“Well it’s our last year, we don’t have much more to go. “
“Yeah, but then we move onto college, which means more studying…” I started to say as we both sat back down on his bed.
“Well hey, if my band makes it big, then we won’t have to go to college!” I just laughed at his enthusiasm.
“Brendon, there’s a very slim chance of that.”
“What? You don’t think we’re good enough?”
“No, you guys are amazing, but there’s so many other bands out there. And the percentage of them that actually do make it to fame and fortune is really small, even if they are good.”
“Sam, your too much of a pessimist,” he said as I rolled my eyes.
“Ok, well even if you do make it big, I’m just gonna be stuck going to college while your out living the rockstar life.”
“Umm, there’s no way I’d be living the rock star life without you, ----.” Brendon told me, “You’ve been with me through basically everything, and I don’t think I could even enjoy being famous if you weren’t there with me.” And then came one of those awkward moments. They rarely happened, but when they did, we would kind of just stare at each other, not saying anything. I hate when this happens, but I also kind of like it in a way. His expression is usually the same and it makes me notice how beautiful his brown eyes are. The silence needed to end, so I decided to say something.
“I wouldn’t wanna be without you either, bro.” His eyes sort of sank when I said that.
“Samantha, you know I’m not really your brother.”
“Well not according blood, but I’ve lived with you for the past 13 years, I think you’re the closest thing to a brother that I will ever have.” I don’t call him that very often, or mention anything about him being my “brother” except maybe once in awhile. But whenever I do, he always seems to reassure me that we’re not related. He knew I wasn’t stupid, but for some reason he always needs to make it clear. I’m glad we’re not really related though. Things would be so much different if we were. But sometimes…well I guess it’s hard to explain…there’s been times where I’ve felt like things could be easier if he was actually my brother. If we were related, then I wouldn’t have the temptation to want to “be with him.” I know it might be kinda weird since we basically are family, but how can you not have feelings for someone who you’ve spent your whole life with, feel completely comfortable around, and aren’t related? It’s totally crazy though, and I’ve been getting used to pushing away those feelings. But of course, every once in awhile they come back to me.
“Well that still doesn’t make me your brother, even though we are tight like that.” He said while laughing.
“Yeah…” I sighed and looked at our books that had fallen to the ground during our pointless pillow fight. “I think it’s time that we finish our schoolwork.”
Brendon looked at the clock sitting on his desk across the room. “Acutally, I think it’s time for band practice. Wanna come?”
“Ehh I don’t know-”
“Pleeeeease?” Brendon said with a pouty face, “We need some opinion.”
“Alright fine. As long as Brent keeps his comments to a minimum.” Brent is usually the one to make rude comments to me...either sarcasm or making fun of me. It’s all just fun and joking, but it can get annoying once in awhile, and tonight I just wasn’t in the mood.
“Ok, well I’ll take care of that. And Ryan’s probably dying to see you.” He said with a smirk on his face.
“Oh geez.” So Ryan has had a crush on my for awhile. He’s cute and all, I just don’t have much of an interest in dating him, and Brendon just loves to tease me about it.
“Come on, just give him a chance.”
“Ughh, Brendonnn stop. I am NOT gonna go out with Ryan.” Brendon just laughed at me like always. He knows that I don’t want to date him, but he just doesn’t stop nagging. He just likes to see me get annoyed.
After a little bit more of Brendon’s nonsense about me and Ryan, I helped him pack up his guitar and amp. Soon we were driving to Spencer’s house. It was about 7:00 and dark outside as I looked out the window from the passenger’s seat. I watched as the street lights went by while we listened to Four Year Strong.
“So have you guys decided on a band name yet?” I asked Brendon.
“Nope, not yet. We don’t wanna get hung up on names right now..we’re just focusing on finishing up some new songs that Ryan wrote. We’ll get to it eventually.”
We sat in silenced for the rest of the car ride while the music played. Once we arrived, I helped Brendon get some of his stuff out of the car, and before we even reached the front door, I could hear Spencer pounding away on his drums. Typical.
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