Categories > Original > Drama > Beat of Their Own Drums
A/N: Numbro tres here! This is yet another reflective Keefe O'Kane piece. Yeah, I realize you might be getting tired of these, but you've gotta understand that it's a huge part of his character and needs to be emphasized.
Disclaimer: I do not own the lyrics to "Here"
Song Used: Rascal Flatts' "Here"
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Forty-One: Here
Puppet: Keefe O'Kane
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There's a place I've been lookin' for,
That took me in and out of buildings,
Behind windows, walls and doors,
And I thought I found it,
A couple of times, even settled down,
And I'd hang around just long enough,
To find my way back out,
I know now the place that I was trying to,
Reach,
Was you, right here in front of me...
“A picture would probably last a little longer, Keefe.”
I couldn't help but smile laughingly at the statement, knowing that she was right. I'd been staring again, watching her work with a new little bay colt her dad had purchased just a few weeks ago. I couldn't really help it, though; it was just so amazing, watching her work with animals. She had such a strong bond with all of the ones on the ranch, from the grouchy barn cats prowling about the loft to the spirited stallions we kept out in the south pasture.
It was almost like she could communicate with them. She could talk to them and they seemed to understand her, and vice versa. She knew that this meow meant Vince was hungry, whereas that one meant he'd gotten another thorn stuck in his paw pad. She knew all their names, their favorite treats, their favorite places to sleep...everything, and she treated them just like she treated other people, because to her, they were people.
“True,” I admonished with a hint of mischief, “but kissing a picture wouldn't be as fun.”
True to my word, I left my post at Pip's stall door so I could come across the aisle and through the one across from it, where she was standing with the young horse, calmly holding his lead rope with the door open. I leaned over and kissed her cheek, her skin smooth under my lips. I was about to move down to her lips when the colt, named Flick, decided to join in on the fun. The lanky young horse stretched his neck out and, as if trying to imitate what he'd seen me do, pushed his soft nose in between Casey and I, unwittingly pushing us apart.
Casey and I exchanged glances. She giggled and after a moment of scowling I have to admit that I started laughing to, amused by the animal's would-be imitation. “I can't have you boys fighting over me,” she teased, wagging her finger in front of Flick's nose, “'cause you know, Flick, I'll always end up takin' Keefe over you.”
Regardless of the fact that she was talking to a horse, I still felt the need to puff up my chest and proudly cross my arms. Silly as it may have been, I couldn't help but feel validated by that.
I'd been through so much to get me to where I was now. I had thought I'd felt peace before, but the feeling had been ripped away just as soon as I started to feel comfortable.
But this...this was true peace, standing here in the cozy barn with a laughing Casey Thane.
And I wouldn't change a thing,
I'd walk right back through the rain,
Back to every broken heart,
On the day that it was breakin',
And I'd relive all the years,
And be thankful for the tears,
I've cried with every stumbled step,
That led to you and got me here, right here...
“Would you mind takin' Flick out to the field, Keefe?” Casey asked, taking me out of my own head and looking at me with questioning blue eyes.
“Only if you come with me.” Once again I had a little bit of guile, a plan behind my words. I smirked lightly and reached up to take Flick's rope, purposely brushing my hand against hers. In truth, it probably hurt me more than it did her; my skin tingled with an intense warmth that I had only felt once before in my life.
I frowned thoughtfully. Jessie Rusher didn't matter now. I hadn't seen her since the day she walked out my door all those years ago. She would forever be a scar on my heart, but never again would I ache the way I did before I found someone I loved even more.
If I had to, I would gladly go back through the process of learning of her betrayal, so long as I knew that eventually, Casey Thane would be waiting for me. I could take her lies all over again, so long as I could see the truth glimmering in those big, water-blue eyes when she told me she loved me. I could bear the pain of seeing her with someone else twice over, just as long as I knew that eventually, I'd meet someone who would keep true.
She giggled again. “That kind of defeats the purpose,” she commented, “but if you really don't think you can handle a lil' colt on your own...”
I chose to ignore the teasing tone of voice, even though it did sting a little to think that she still saw me as an inexperienced city boy. I'd been working around the ranch for almost four months now and had learned quite a bit, but the doubt and unnecessary compassion the other hands had for me was belittling and humiliating.
The two of us ambled out of the stall, Flick following with expected obedience. Compared to the other colts we had around here, the bay seemed to be the most well-behaved; most of the others would've tried to push us a little faster or maybe tugged impatiently at their halter, but Flick didn't and I was thankful for it.
The walk out to the field was a silent one. It was a beautiful day outside, even if it was a little cold; the sun was shining and a few thin wisps of clouds slowly drifted along. A slight autumn chill nipped at my skin, and the crisp smell of fallen leaves hung thick in the softly blowing air. I was reminded that it was nearly time for winter.
Once we reached the field, I paused for just a moment at the fence. It was all just so pretty...
I glanced at Casey, the breeze playing lightly with her hair. I smiled. This was perfect.
It's amazing what I let my heart go through,
To get me where it got me,
In this moment here with you,
And it passed me by,
God knows how many times,
I was so caught up in holding,
What I'd never thought I'd find,
I know now, there's a million roads,
I had to take,
To get me in your arms that way...
“Are you gonna open the gate or stand there forever?”
I could only smile a little and shake my head, laughing only in my mind. I creaked open the gate and unclipped Flick's lead, and the bay almost instantly bolted off to run along the fence. I watched, breath catching slightly in my throat at the beauty of the powerful creature running free; the only way it could have been more enthralling was if the halter wasn't still wrapped about his head. I tore my eyes away from the scene as I receded from the field and closed the gate, then looked back at Casey, wondering if she could sense it too.
Sure enough, her eyes were fixed upon Flick, glittering with such wonder I almost thought that she'd never seen anything like it before.
Though I felt guilty for breaking the trance, I couldn't help but want to reach out and take her hand. She blinked in surprise, then smiled a little. “Flick's a handsome runner, don'cha think?”
I simply nodded. I didn't feel the need to elaborate.
“Case?” I murmured after the subject of Flick had been whisked away by the breeze, unable to take my eyes from her. It was hard to believe that I'd come this far; I'd been so desperately afraid of letting myself get hurt again that I had once thought I'd truly never love anyone ever again. I'd hidden my scarred heart away from everyone at such a young age. I'd put myself through so much loneliness, so much hurt, but I'd never shown anyone because I was afraid they would take advantage of my vulnerability and hurt me like Jessie did. Like sand my heart had slid away the tighter I tried to hold onto it, and I'd felt so lost and broken with this gaping wound in my chest that I could feel but none could see.
But now here I was, gazing intently at this beautiful blue-eyed woman and knowing that I was in love. She knew I had a heart and she'd seen it bleeding, but she hadn't just awkwardly looked the other way like others before had. I trusted her not to cause me such pain, and my heart, now held in the palm of my open hand held out in offering to her, was free and I felt whole again.
“Yeah?”
I wrapped my arms around her and held her closely, shielding her from the cold and absorbing her heat onto my own skin and through my clothes. “I love you.” I whispered softly into her hair.
She returned the embrace and made my life that much brighter. “Love you back.”
And I wouldn't change a thing,
I'd walk right back through the rain,
Back to every broken heart,
On the day that it was breakin',
And I'd relive all the years,
And be thankful for the tears,
I've cried with every stumbled step,
That led to you and got me here, right here...
I smiled and closed my eyes, feeling that familiar serenity that I'd searched for all my life. “I wish you could know just how much it means to me to hear you say that.” I said quietly, my voice nearly being carried away in the wind.
“I think I have a pretty good idea, actually,” Casey replied with the bluntness that I'd come to expect from her, “you've had a pretty tough break in life. Must feel good to know that there's finally someone on your side.”
I couldn't have put it better myself. “It does,” I confirmed simply, “but you know something?”
“What?”
“I'd do it again,” I answered, tenderly brushing my fingers against the bare skin on the back of her neck, “I'd go through all of it a second time, make all the same mistakes, go through all the same pain...because I'd know that eventually I'd run into you again.”
Her fingers wound their way up into my hair and played with the tight curls there. I could feel the worry in her voice when she spoke again. “But I'm not gonna let you. I didn't like t' see ya' hurting.”
In a love I never thought I'd get to get to,
Here,
And if that's the road,
God made me take to be with you...
“Pain is part of learning who you are,” I replied shortly, though not unkindly, “I don't think I would love you as much as I do if I had everything handed to me on a silver platter first.”
She didn't have anything to say to that, and I could sense that she hadn't really liked that reply. I wasn't sure why; it was true, wasn't it? I wouldn't appreciate her nearly as much if I hadn't known the agony of losing someone I loved so dearly first. I wouldn't be as thankful for her comfort if I hadn't watched in horror as my drunken father beat my twin brother first. I wouldn't be so in love with her if I hadn't locked myself away for so long first.
“It's not a bad thing,” I assured her after a while of uncomfortable silence, “it's like drawing a picture; you can't make light without a little bit of shadow.”
She tilted her head back a little to look at me, her blue eyes glowing with such admiration that one would think I'd just said the most profound thing in the world. I smiled, a gesture that was becoming more and more common for me now. “You're my light, Case.”
And I wouldn't change a thing,
I'd walk right back through the rain,
Back to every broken heart,
On the day that it was breakin',
And I'd relive all the years,
And be thankful for the tears,
I've cried with every stumbled step,
That led to you and got me here, right here...
As if to prove my point through physical contact, I, being very gentle and brief, brushed my lips up against the salty skin on the crook of her neck, glad that Flick wasn't around to ruin the moment this time. I took in a deep breath through my nose, taking in the warm smell of earth, then blew it out in a long, slow gust of air. Tenderly I continued to plant light kisses all along her jaw line, almost purring in satisfaction as her body melted further into mine. She tilted her head slightly to one side, allowing me easier access to the desired skin. I paused for a moment at reaching her ear, then in a little experiment nibbled ever-so-gently on her ear lobe.
She gave a surprised, light titter at my boldness. “Dallas is gonna kill you if he finds us like this.”
“I don't care,” I growled flirtatiously, releasing her flesh from the grip between my teeth and sliding my fingers from around her neck to cup under her jaw, “it'd be worth anything he could throw at me.”
“Suppose he does catch us,” Casey said, ignoring the promise, “would you go through that beating again?”
I half expected Dallas to jump me from the way she was talking. “Yes,” I answered, smirking a little, “anything for your kiss, m'lady.”
Without giving her a chance to decide for me to do 'anything,' my lips collided with hers in the most tenderest of ways. Her fingers curled into my hair and her muscles went stiff for just a moment before she and I lost ourselves to one another, flying and falling all at the same time, losing track of time, becoming one being for just a moment.
Then reality came back to me in degrees. The smoothness of her skin against my palm, the blue of her eyes, the taste of her skin still lingering on my lips...
I sighed happily and gently rested my chin on the top of her head, giving a low, throaty hum of satisfaction while I allowed my hands to drop and rest on her hips. I hadn't felt this way for far too long, but would it have been so fulfilling if I had?
“Anything for your kiss,” I repeated, “even a lifetime of heartache.”
And I'd relive all the years,
And be thankful for all the tears,
I've cried with every stumbled step,
That led to you and got me here, right here,
Oh, baby – ooo,
Oh, got me here.
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A/N: I can't really decide if Keefe O'Kane is a hottie or a cutie. He's really sweet sometimes, but then again, he's all, 'hey, let's make out' all the time. Hmm. Or maybe I'm just biased. What do you all think?
Disclaimer: I do not own the lyrics to "Here"
Song Used: Rascal Flatts' "Here"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Forty-One: Here
Puppet: Keefe O'Kane
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There's a place I've been lookin' for,
That took me in and out of buildings,
Behind windows, walls and doors,
And I thought I found it,
A couple of times, even settled down,
And I'd hang around just long enough,
To find my way back out,
I know now the place that I was trying to,
Reach,
Was you, right here in front of me...
“A picture would probably last a little longer, Keefe.”
I couldn't help but smile laughingly at the statement, knowing that she was right. I'd been staring again, watching her work with a new little bay colt her dad had purchased just a few weeks ago. I couldn't really help it, though; it was just so amazing, watching her work with animals. She had such a strong bond with all of the ones on the ranch, from the grouchy barn cats prowling about the loft to the spirited stallions we kept out in the south pasture.
It was almost like she could communicate with them. She could talk to them and they seemed to understand her, and vice versa. She knew that this meow meant Vince was hungry, whereas that one meant he'd gotten another thorn stuck in his paw pad. She knew all their names, their favorite treats, their favorite places to sleep...everything, and she treated them just like she treated other people, because to her, they were people.
“True,” I admonished with a hint of mischief, “but kissing a picture wouldn't be as fun.”
True to my word, I left my post at Pip's stall door so I could come across the aisle and through the one across from it, where she was standing with the young horse, calmly holding his lead rope with the door open. I leaned over and kissed her cheek, her skin smooth under my lips. I was about to move down to her lips when the colt, named Flick, decided to join in on the fun. The lanky young horse stretched his neck out and, as if trying to imitate what he'd seen me do, pushed his soft nose in between Casey and I, unwittingly pushing us apart.
Casey and I exchanged glances. She giggled and after a moment of scowling I have to admit that I started laughing to, amused by the animal's would-be imitation. “I can't have you boys fighting over me,” she teased, wagging her finger in front of Flick's nose, “'cause you know, Flick, I'll always end up takin' Keefe over you.”
Regardless of the fact that she was talking to a horse, I still felt the need to puff up my chest and proudly cross my arms. Silly as it may have been, I couldn't help but feel validated by that.
I'd been through so much to get me to where I was now. I had thought I'd felt peace before, but the feeling had been ripped away just as soon as I started to feel comfortable.
But this...this was true peace, standing here in the cozy barn with a laughing Casey Thane.
And I wouldn't change a thing,
I'd walk right back through the rain,
Back to every broken heart,
On the day that it was breakin',
And I'd relive all the years,
And be thankful for the tears,
I've cried with every stumbled step,
That led to you and got me here, right here...
“Would you mind takin' Flick out to the field, Keefe?” Casey asked, taking me out of my own head and looking at me with questioning blue eyes.
“Only if you come with me.” Once again I had a little bit of guile, a plan behind my words. I smirked lightly and reached up to take Flick's rope, purposely brushing my hand against hers. In truth, it probably hurt me more than it did her; my skin tingled with an intense warmth that I had only felt once before in my life.
I frowned thoughtfully. Jessie Rusher didn't matter now. I hadn't seen her since the day she walked out my door all those years ago. She would forever be a scar on my heart, but never again would I ache the way I did before I found someone I loved even more.
If I had to, I would gladly go back through the process of learning of her betrayal, so long as I knew that eventually, Casey Thane would be waiting for me. I could take her lies all over again, so long as I could see the truth glimmering in those big, water-blue eyes when she told me she loved me. I could bear the pain of seeing her with someone else twice over, just as long as I knew that eventually, I'd meet someone who would keep true.
She giggled again. “That kind of defeats the purpose,” she commented, “but if you really don't think you can handle a lil' colt on your own...”
I chose to ignore the teasing tone of voice, even though it did sting a little to think that she still saw me as an inexperienced city boy. I'd been working around the ranch for almost four months now and had learned quite a bit, but the doubt and unnecessary compassion the other hands had for me was belittling and humiliating.
The two of us ambled out of the stall, Flick following with expected obedience. Compared to the other colts we had around here, the bay seemed to be the most well-behaved; most of the others would've tried to push us a little faster or maybe tugged impatiently at their halter, but Flick didn't and I was thankful for it.
The walk out to the field was a silent one. It was a beautiful day outside, even if it was a little cold; the sun was shining and a few thin wisps of clouds slowly drifted along. A slight autumn chill nipped at my skin, and the crisp smell of fallen leaves hung thick in the softly blowing air. I was reminded that it was nearly time for winter.
Once we reached the field, I paused for just a moment at the fence. It was all just so pretty...
I glanced at Casey, the breeze playing lightly with her hair. I smiled. This was perfect.
It's amazing what I let my heart go through,
To get me where it got me,
In this moment here with you,
And it passed me by,
God knows how many times,
I was so caught up in holding,
What I'd never thought I'd find,
I know now, there's a million roads,
I had to take,
To get me in your arms that way...
“Are you gonna open the gate or stand there forever?”
I could only smile a little and shake my head, laughing only in my mind. I creaked open the gate and unclipped Flick's lead, and the bay almost instantly bolted off to run along the fence. I watched, breath catching slightly in my throat at the beauty of the powerful creature running free; the only way it could have been more enthralling was if the halter wasn't still wrapped about his head. I tore my eyes away from the scene as I receded from the field and closed the gate, then looked back at Casey, wondering if she could sense it too.
Sure enough, her eyes were fixed upon Flick, glittering with such wonder I almost thought that she'd never seen anything like it before.
Though I felt guilty for breaking the trance, I couldn't help but want to reach out and take her hand. She blinked in surprise, then smiled a little. “Flick's a handsome runner, don'cha think?”
I simply nodded. I didn't feel the need to elaborate.
“Case?” I murmured after the subject of Flick had been whisked away by the breeze, unable to take my eyes from her. It was hard to believe that I'd come this far; I'd been so desperately afraid of letting myself get hurt again that I had once thought I'd truly never love anyone ever again. I'd hidden my scarred heart away from everyone at such a young age. I'd put myself through so much loneliness, so much hurt, but I'd never shown anyone because I was afraid they would take advantage of my vulnerability and hurt me like Jessie did. Like sand my heart had slid away the tighter I tried to hold onto it, and I'd felt so lost and broken with this gaping wound in my chest that I could feel but none could see.
But now here I was, gazing intently at this beautiful blue-eyed woman and knowing that I was in love. She knew I had a heart and she'd seen it bleeding, but she hadn't just awkwardly looked the other way like others before had. I trusted her not to cause me such pain, and my heart, now held in the palm of my open hand held out in offering to her, was free and I felt whole again.
“Yeah?”
I wrapped my arms around her and held her closely, shielding her from the cold and absorbing her heat onto my own skin and through my clothes. “I love you.” I whispered softly into her hair.
She returned the embrace and made my life that much brighter. “Love you back.”
And I wouldn't change a thing,
I'd walk right back through the rain,
Back to every broken heart,
On the day that it was breakin',
And I'd relive all the years,
And be thankful for the tears,
I've cried with every stumbled step,
That led to you and got me here, right here...
I smiled and closed my eyes, feeling that familiar serenity that I'd searched for all my life. “I wish you could know just how much it means to me to hear you say that.” I said quietly, my voice nearly being carried away in the wind.
“I think I have a pretty good idea, actually,” Casey replied with the bluntness that I'd come to expect from her, “you've had a pretty tough break in life. Must feel good to know that there's finally someone on your side.”
I couldn't have put it better myself. “It does,” I confirmed simply, “but you know something?”
“What?”
“I'd do it again,” I answered, tenderly brushing my fingers against the bare skin on the back of her neck, “I'd go through all of it a second time, make all the same mistakes, go through all the same pain...because I'd know that eventually I'd run into you again.”
Her fingers wound their way up into my hair and played with the tight curls there. I could feel the worry in her voice when she spoke again. “But I'm not gonna let you. I didn't like t' see ya' hurting.”
In a love I never thought I'd get to get to,
Here,
And if that's the road,
God made me take to be with you...
“Pain is part of learning who you are,” I replied shortly, though not unkindly, “I don't think I would love you as much as I do if I had everything handed to me on a silver platter first.”
She didn't have anything to say to that, and I could sense that she hadn't really liked that reply. I wasn't sure why; it was true, wasn't it? I wouldn't appreciate her nearly as much if I hadn't known the agony of losing someone I loved so dearly first. I wouldn't be as thankful for her comfort if I hadn't watched in horror as my drunken father beat my twin brother first. I wouldn't be so in love with her if I hadn't locked myself away for so long first.
“It's not a bad thing,” I assured her after a while of uncomfortable silence, “it's like drawing a picture; you can't make light without a little bit of shadow.”
She tilted her head back a little to look at me, her blue eyes glowing with such admiration that one would think I'd just said the most profound thing in the world. I smiled, a gesture that was becoming more and more common for me now. “You're my light, Case.”
And I wouldn't change a thing,
I'd walk right back through the rain,
Back to every broken heart,
On the day that it was breakin',
And I'd relive all the years,
And be thankful for the tears,
I've cried with every stumbled step,
That led to you and got me here, right here...
As if to prove my point through physical contact, I, being very gentle and brief, brushed my lips up against the salty skin on the crook of her neck, glad that Flick wasn't around to ruin the moment this time. I took in a deep breath through my nose, taking in the warm smell of earth, then blew it out in a long, slow gust of air. Tenderly I continued to plant light kisses all along her jaw line, almost purring in satisfaction as her body melted further into mine. She tilted her head slightly to one side, allowing me easier access to the desired skin. I paused for a moment at reaching her ear, then in a little experiment nibbled ever-so-gently on her ear lobe.
She gave a surprised, light titter at my boldness. “Dallas is gonna kill you if he finds us like this.”
“I don't care,” I growled flirtatiously, releasing her flesh from the grip between my teeth and sliding my fingers from around her neck to cup under her jaw, “it'd be worth anything he could throw at me.”
“Suppose he does catch us,” Casey said, ignoring the promise, “would you go through that beating again?”
I half expected Dallas to jump me from the way she was talking. “Yes,” I answered, smirking a little, “anything for your kiss, m'lady.”
Without giving her a chance to decide for me to do 'anything,' my lips collided with hers in the most tenderest of ways. Her fingers curled into my hair and her muscles went stiff for just a moment before she and I lost ourselves to one another, flying and falling all at the same time, losing track of time, becoming one being for just a moment.
Then reality came back to me in degrees. The smoothness of her skin against my palm, the blue of her eyes, the taste of her skin still lingering on my lips...
I sighed happily and gently rested my chin on the top of her head, giving a low, throaty hum of satisfaction while I allowed my hands to drop and rest on her hips. I hadn't felt this way for far too long, but would it have been so fulfilling if I had?
“Anything for your kiss,” I repeated, “even a lifetime of heartache.”
And I'd relive all the years,
And be thankful for all the tears,
I've cried with every stumbled step,
That led to you and got me here, right here,
Oh, baby – ooo,
Oh, got me here.
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A/N: I can't really decide if Keefe O'Kane is a hottie or a cutie. He's really sweet sometimes, but then again, he's all, 'hey, let's make out' all the time. Hmm. Or maybe I'm just biased. What do you all think?
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