Categories > Original > Drama > Beat of Their Own Drums

The End Has Only Begun

by Alcatraz 0 reviews

Nick wasn't expecting her absence to hurt so much, and after a talk with his dad he can't help but wonder if maybe he should rethink their relationship. Song used: Lifehouse's "The End Has Only Begun"

Category: Drama - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Angst,Romance - Warnings: [?] - Published: 2008-12-25 - Updated: 2008-12-26 - 2435 words

0Unrated
A/N: 'Kay, I'm not gonna lie to you guys. This is probably the worst one I've written so far during winter break; quite possibly the worst one ever. I really couldn't nail the meaning of the song.

Disclaimer: I do not own the lyrics to "The End Has Only Begun"

Song Used: Lifehouse's "The End Has Only Begun"


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Forty-Nine: The End Has Only Begun
Puppet: Nicholas Jonas


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We walk in your footsteps,
Though I've had my ups and downs,
And I'll stand in silence,
Until I figure it out...


“Dad?”

“Yeah, son?”

I fidgeted uncomfortably under my father's gaze, unsure if I truly wanted to ask him what I'd been going to ask him. It was weak, I knew, going to one's father for advice about girls, and I considered making something up so I could go talk to Kevin. But then again, Kevin really didn't know anything about facing Joshua Waters. Kevin didn't know anything about asking the girl's father for his permission to marry her.

Correction: steal her from him.

“How did you ask mom's dad if you could marry her?” I questioned in a mouthful, not liking the way it sounded. Coming off my tongue, the sentence sounded bulky and odd.

Paul Jonas Sr. laughed, for I must've looked like a deer caught in the headlights to him. “You don't want to hear that story.” He said with a twinkle of amusement in the dark eyes I'd inherited from him.

I tightened one hand into a fist and squeezed tightly, trying not to be frustrated. “Do you have any advice, then?”

He closed his eyes and stroked his chin thoughtfully for a long moment. When he finally opened them, there was a far-off look in them as he recalled the steps he'd taken (or maybe not) long ago. “Well, you have to be ready for any questions he has, like if he asks where you two plan on living...”

I could do that. I'd already had my eye on a nice little house just about a half hour from here. She didn't know anything about it yet, but I was fairly certain that she'd love it. “Is that it?” I asked, not daring to hope that it could be as simple as answering a few questions.

“Not exactly,” my father answered slowly, looking at me very carefully, “over anything else, a father wants to know that his little girl is going to be loved and cared for, no matter what.”

I didn't bother pointing out that he didn't know anything about that, having raised four sons and no daughters. I sat still and thought about it for a second or two; was I really willing to sacrifice the rest of my life for Paige? Could I find the strength to love her through thick and thin? Would I do anything for her?

We had had our ups and downs, she and I. I missed her more than anything while she was gone, and I couldn't help but wonder sometimes if all the pain she was putting me through was worth it.

Maybe I needed to think about this some more.

One might fall and the other will stand,
And one might give where the other won't bend,
The night is as bright as the sun,
I'm never gonna know,
Never gonna look back,
Never gonna know where we would've ended up at,
The end has only begun...


I needed to think about some things, so naturally, after the conversation with my father, I went to the place where I felt most at ease.

I peered at the window in my room, wishing that the streetlights weren't so bright that they obscured the glimmering, natural light of the stars and moon. No matter where I was, whether it was on tour or at home, I had always been able to find peace up in the soft blackness of the night sky. I thought it was ironic, actually; most people saw nighttime as a dark, foreboding thing, while I had seen the proverbial light many times while studying the stars.

Paige and I were different, that much was true. She was so intent on looking to the future that so often times forgot about things in the present; she was eager, dead set, and a little scattered. I, on the other hand, was fine right where I was. I was in tune to what was happening around me, and was tidy, calm, and diplomatic to a certain extent.

We responded differently to different things. We wouldn't have been very real if we didn't. We had clashed sometimes because of it, but that was what all couples did, no matter how alike they were, at some point, right?

Right. This was where we were. No looking back now.

So stop counting hours,
Live out in the world,
'Cause I've been chasing the hours,
But they don't want to be found...


I tore my gaze from the sky and back into my room, surveying the floor for anything that seemed out of place. Of course, everything seemed to be right where I left it. To be honest, I almost missed finding something laying out and knowing that Frankie had been going through my things; he was too old for that sort of thing now, though.

I moved to the corner and gently picked my guitar up off from its stand, loving the cool smoothness of the neck against my skin. Smiling softly to myself, I took my beloved instrument over to my bed and sat, putting my arm around her waist and strumming each string once. She always loved to sit and listen to me play...

The smile faded into a frown. How long had it been since I'd played for her? She'd been gone for a couple of months so far...

I shook my head and strummed a C chord. I wasn't helping myself any by counting days. She'd be back at my side soon enough.

One might fall and the other will stand,
And one might give where the other won't bend,
The night is as bright as the sun,
I'm never gonna know,
Never gonna look back,
Never gonna know where we would've ended up at,
The end has only begun...


Although I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like if she had chosen to go to school someplace closer, or even if she'd waited a year or two before leaping into college life after high school. I don't think I would've hurt any less if she was closer but still gone, but I certainly wouldn't have missed her should she have stayed.

Would she still be so intent on kissing me with everything she had if she didn't feel like she had to make the most out of every one she managed to steal? Would I still be so bent on holding her as close as I could if I didn't know that my time with her was extremely limited? Would we still be so determined to make our relationship work?

Would I have to ask myself if I truly loved her? Would I have to ask myself if she was really worth my tears? Would I have to hesitate before I asked Joshua if I could have her hand?

I kept absently strumming my guitar, only half admiring the clear, strong notes coming from the strings as I mused to myself. My fingers found their places without me looking or telling them to, having minds of their own.

I would never really know the answers to those 'what if' questions. I didn't really want to think that we might have been happier.

And the day,
Tonight feels like a million miles away,
And these times just won't change,
Life just stays the same,
I'd give anything to see the light of day...


Wondering and wishing wasn't really going to change anything, anyway. She had still taken me aside that day to tell me she was leaving, and I had still tell her that where was no way I would allow that sort of thing to tear us apart. She had still gotten onto that plane several months ago, and I had kissed her and watched the plane take off. She was still gone, and I would still miss her sorely until she arrived back home.

I paused and the sound faded into the still, quiet air of my room like an echo. A tear that I hadn't even noticed forming in my eye took a plunge down my cheek, creating a cold, wet trail that I quickly brushed aside with my sleeve.

The day she would return seemed so far from now. I wasn't sure I could bear waiting much longer. Everything was just so...plain without her around to shake things up the way she often times did.

There wasn't anything I wouldn't give just to hear her laugh.

'Cause I've been too far away,
To hear you whispering...


I leaned forward and took my cell phone out of my back pocket, wondering if maybe there was a chance I could. Would she be awake at this hour, ready and eager to talk to me? Or would she be tired (or worse, sleeping), and tell me to hang up and go to sleep like all the normal people in the world? They were only an hour or two ahead of us in Chile...

Maybe hearing her voice again would chase away these doubts. Maybe hearing her laugh again would make me laugh, too. Maybe hearing her tell me that she loved me would make me wonder why I'd ever questioned the strength of our bond. It wasn't really her fault that she wasn't able to talk to me everyday, but I couldn't help but feel like maybe I was just feeling like this because of that fact.

Deciding the bite the bullet, I opened my contacts list, selected 'Paige Waters,' and brought my phone up to my ear.

Ring, ring, ring...

“Hello?”

Instantaneously at the sound of her voice, I felt my spirits lift. Granted, they still didn't soar like a bird, as they did when she kissed me, but this would have to do until then. It took me a moment to drag myself away from savoring the moment, a sigh of satisfaction escaping my lungs. “Hey, baby.” I crooned softly.

My heart jumped again when she giggled, obviously pleased by the gently spoken pet name. “Hi, Nick,” she purred back, “what's the occasion?”

They say one might fall and the other will stand,
And one might give where the other won't bend,
The night is as bright as the sun,
I'm never gonna know,
Never gonna look back,
Never gonna know where we would've ended up at,
The end has only begun...


I smiled a little, wishing that she could see how happy she made me. “I have to have a reason for wanting to talk to my girl now?”

“Of course not,” she conceded, “it's just that you don't usually call this late.”

“Yeah, well, I was just thinking about you and figured I could shell out a couple hundred bucks to talk to you for a while,” I joked, knowing that I was literally going to pay for every minute I spent talking to her but not caring, “I heard my parents talking about you and I.”

“Oh?” she asked, “Nothing bad, I hope?”

I laughed. “No. They were just sayin' that we made a good team; balance each other out, ya' know?”

And the day,
Tonight feels like a million miles away,
And these times just won't change,
Life just stays the same,
I'd give anything to see the light of day...


“The rockstar and the roadie, huh?” She said with a slight laugh. I could sense the smile in her voice as well as envision it in my head, but with a pang of sorrow I realized that I still couldn't actually she it for quite some time. I could be happy now, at this very moment with her on the phone, but as soon as she hung up I would start missing her again. It wouldn't change.

“Roadie?” I repeated, almost laughing, “I could only be so lucky. Remember how we used to beg my mom to let you come with us on tours?”

“Yeah,” she acknowledged, “we would corner her and give her the old puppy dog pout routine...”

“And promised to have Joe or Kevin with us at all times,” I recalled, “can't forget that one.”

She laughed half-heartedly, then sighed, her breath sounding fuzzy over the distortion of the phone. “I think she made the right choice, though, not letting us do it,” she said thoughtfully, “it was probably good for us to take breaks like that.”

I bit my lip and chewed it anxiously, putting my guitar down so I could go back to the window. Take a break...maybe that's what I needed to do. Then I could think things out without having to feel guilty. Then I could focus better, because I wouldn't have to worry about her as much. If we put things on hiatus for a little while, we wouldn't really ache so much, would we?

“I miss you,” I said after realizing that she was still waiting for a reply, not caring that it didn't have anything to do with what we'd been talking about, “I wish you were here. Things would be clearer then.”

“Clearer?” she repeated, seeming to ignore the rest of what I'd said, “Is something wrong, Nick?”

I looked hard up at the night sky without answering, leaving a thread hanging for a longer amount of time then I meant to. Was there something wrong? Everything felt so dull and fuzzed, my mind included. I felt like something huge was happening, like the apocalypse or something, but I couldn't really tell.

Take a break. Those words echoed in my head over and over, like someone trying to wake me from a dream. I needed to think. I needed to know what to do next. “No,” I answered, “everything's fine.”

What you do,
No one can decide,
It's up to you,
And who you are,
Is what you choose,
These times when the world falls apart,
Make us who we are.

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A/N: Yeah. Like I said, I think this is probably one of the worst ones I've ever written. I totally didn't end get the meaning of the song and the dialogue is pretty damn weak. Hopefully the next one will be better.
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