Categories > Books > Harry Potter > The Voters Are Speaking

The Voters Are Speaking

by BrianJ 9 reviews

Hermione has a bright idea to cheery Harry up. Batten down the hatches!

Category: Harry Potter - Rating: R - Genres: Erotica,Humor,Romance - Characters: Harry - Warnings: [X] - Published: 2008-12-25 - Updated: 2008-12-25 - 979 words - Complete

Author's Note That You Can Ignore: This story began on the Seelvorfiction Yahoo! group. After a political argument had been mercifully broken up, the idea of choosing Harry's proper girlfriend in an election was mooted. I, perhaps unwisely, took the bait and decided to write a story about how such an election might unfold.
This story takes certain names and situations from American politics, but is not intended to be a direct parody of the process, especially as it played out in 2008. If it were, honestly, who'd want to read it? We've lived it for two years already!
The subject line is modified from a quote from the late Mo Udall, father and uncle to two new Senators.
If you've read this story on the group, disclaimers have been changed or removed (if overtaken by events), and typos and errors have been (hopefully) corrected.

General Disclaimer: The identifiable characters, settings, and situations of this story are the property of JK Rowling and her publishers. This is a non-commercial fan fiction, and no money is being made from its writing or publication.


Early November can be rather somber in central Scotland. So it was today, with low clouds, chilly temperatures, and intermittent spitting rain.

The atmosphere inside the library of the seemingly ruined castle wasn't much better that Tuesday evening.

Not for the first time, Hermione looked over in Harry and sighed. Although Harry had seemingly gotten over the loss of Sirius, thanks largely to her own intervention and the rhythms of schoolwork and practice, he still had days when he would sit around, saying and doing nothing. This had been one of those days.

"Hello, Hermione," someone said. She looked up from her vigil to see Luna walking her way. A few other eyes followed her; over the summer, Luna had gained about three inches in height and in... other places. She had to admit that Luna had become a very good-looking girl.

"I see that you're watching over Harry again," Luna noted quietly.

Hermione thought about denying it, but then changed her mind. "Yes, Luna. I can't help it. He's been through so much and he needs someone to be there, even if he doesn't know it."

"Yes. I hope he realizes it some day," Luna said sadly.

"I don't know what else I can do without making him resent me. He tells me he appreciates it, but I know he thinks I nag him too much to get out and do things," Hermione said.

"I know he does, Hermione," Luna commiserated. Suddenly, she brightened. "I was just going to head up to the Astronomy Tower. I was just going to listen to something."

"What, dare I ask?" inquired Hermione. The Astronomy Tower had a certain reputation among the students, despite the attempts at intervention from the professors.

"Nothing like that," Luna smiled. "I had heard about the Muggle Americans' election and was going to listen to the returns." With that, she held up a box with various electronic bits attached. "It's a radio I bought from Fred and George. It's supposed to work up there and get signals from America."

"I didn't know you followed Muggle politics," Hermione replied. She'd fallen away from them herself, but shortly before she went to Hogwarts, she could recite the name of every MP from Greater London.

"It's like Quidditch, following the World Cup every four years. I must say, they keep finding such interesting candidates."

"Candidates..." mused Hermione. Then she sat up straight. "THAT'S IT!" she exclaimed, earning a shush from Madame Pince.

"What's it, Hermione?" Luna inquired urgently. "Did the Sassarats bite you? I can give you something that-"

"No!" Hermione halted Luna. "That's something I should have thought of! I should look for candidates to help me cheer Harry up! I'm sure there will be plenty." She has reason for this assurance. Harry had grown another inch over the summer, and Captain Katie Bell's physical regimen for the Quidditch team had helped Harry build up his muscles. Some people said she had ulterior motives, but Hermione had ignored them. Until now.

"How do you plan to find these candidates?" Luna asked, more amused than anything else.

"Simple. We'll hold an election. We'll invite candidates from all four houses to apply, have a campaign, and have the girls vote on who suits Harry best." The wheels in Hermione's mind were moving more quickly now.

"What about us?" Luna said softly.

"We can be candidates if we can find someone to help us set everything up. And I think I know just the people."


"No, you can't be a candidate, but you can help us this way."

"Are you sure?" Colin Creevey still had some of the photos he'd taken of Harry four years ago, as well as more recent pictures, some of which she'd never seen elsewhere. Hermione thought about asking him where they'd come from, but decided not to for the sake of her sanity.

"Yes, we're sure. We'd like you to take this notice and post it outside of each house, to let everyone know about the campaign," Hermione explained.

"Don't worry, Hermione. Dennis and I would be thrilled. You say this would make Harry happy?" Colin inquired.

"I'm sure of it, Colin," she replied.

"Then we'll have them up by tomorrow morning in all the common rooms. We've got all the password from our fellow photography enthusiasts. Makes it easier to organize our club," Colin explained.

Again, Hermione thought of saying something and again she demurred. "Thank you so much."


Colin and Dennis were as good as their word. The following morning, posters had been placed on each House's bulletin board.

"Wanted: Candidates to Help Keep Harry Potter Happy.
Election to Determine the Most Suitable Girlfriends for Harry.
Limit of No More than Two per House.
Filing Deadline: Friday at 8 PM.
Election Two Weeks After Deadline."
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