FicWad

Rubbing his eyes frank listened intently to the muffled yet concerning sound of Gerard crying through the wall separating each of their hotel rooms. It had been the third time that week that he had heard Gerard whimper in his sleep and each time it had made frank open his eyes and concentrate on the painful sound that seemed to penetrate his heart and make it ache with worry. He was always indecisive on whether he should get up and go comfort Gerard since last time he seemed to cause more vexation than comfort. Last time Gerard had yelled and hurled an empty vodka bottle at him and for the next two days after that he had ceased to even acknowledge him.

Almost suddenly Gerard's crying grew audibly louder 'fuck it' frank whispered to himself. He promptly sat up and flung his legs over the side of the bed and walked towards the light he could see which signalised the direction of the door. Once in the hall he lingered for a second outside Gerard's door the crying was even louder now and Frank felt even more anxious about entering his room. But at the same time the crying seemed to lure him closer and closer to opening the door. Frank rested his right hand lightly on the doorknob he took a shaky breath and bit his lip and entered cautiously.
Frank followed the sound of Gerard's weeping to his bedside as his eyes weren't much use to him at the minute as they hadn't gotten accustomed to the darkness.
'Frank...Frank, is that you?' Gerard murmured shakily.
Frank sat on the bed next to Gerard's pillow which he could feel was damp from tears. Gerard was facing away from Frank almost like he was trying to conceal that he had been crying even though he knew Frank had heard him.
'Yeah it's me Gee' Frank said soothingly while stroking Gerard's hair, it was greasy as Gerard hadn't showered in about a week. He had been neglecting himself a lot recently, yet at that moment Gerard's hygiene didn't really worry him as much as his late night, early morning crying.
'What's wrong I'm so worried about you... it's been like the third time this week I've heard you crying in the middle of the night'
Gerard slowly rolled over to and lifted his hand from under the duvet so he could hold Frank's hand.
It was cold and moist with sweat.
' I'm, I'm just so fuckin' lost Frank. I just.. can't do this. I need a drink. I need one.' Gerard said still sniffling back tears.

Frank turned slightly and searched for the switch to turn on the bedside lamp so he could take a proper look at the state Gerard was in. His eyeliner was smeared down his cheeks and his hair was clearly damp with tears. He looked pale and sickly almost frightened.

'Gerard you can... you can do this I'll help you, I'll be there. You're not in this alone.'
'I can't Frank i just... just can't'
The tears had started to fall down his face again but this time he cried silently. Frank found this even harder to bear than the whimpering. It was like the silence was denying him air to breathe it made his chest tight and created a vacuum that seemed to suck all the air out of him.
Frank looked at Gerard sympathetically trying hard not to let tears spill from his own eyes.

'Shhh your Okay come on, Gee come here' Frank pulled Gerard up slowly and carefully so he was sitting upright and he wrapped an arm around him while delicately stroking Gerard's damp eyeliner streaked cheek with his free hand.
'Your gonna be alright i'll fight this with you, it's just one day at time, yeah' just remember that yeah. No one's pressuring you to suddenly stop drinking, take your time you'll get there eventually'

'Yeah?' Gerard said quietly as he rested his head against Frank's warm chest.
'Yeah, you will but you have to believe you can. I believe in you, i really do. The guys do, we're all worried 'bout you but at the same time we have the greatest faith in you too'

At that Gerard raised his head and looked into Frank's eyes he turned his body a little and leaned in and kissed him continuously one kiss gaining more passion than the other. Frank held Gerard close. His hands slowly moving up and down his back. Inside he felt as if his heart had suddenly started beating normally again and the wires that seemed to be wrapped around it at first were being corroded away by Gerard's grateful and loving kisses.


That night Frank never left Gerard's side. On the bed they lay entwined holding each other, Gerard's head resting on Frank's chest in a state of affectionate protection knowing that Frank would be there to see him through the worst. He now had complete confirmation from Frank that when he felt lost Frank would help him find his way, when he felt he couldn't believe Frank would give him something to believe in and when he needed a drink Frank's love would be his new drug there to numb the pain better than alcohol ever would.