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I woke up at 4:00 am. Just like every morning. I took my shower and started getting ready for school. I always got there at 5:30. I like getting there early so I can do my homework. It also gives me time to think. Jackie normally comes in around 6:30. The time interval was so unbearing. So I just sat there and listened to music for half of the time. Then someone tapped my on my shoulder. It was Matt. " Hi ? " I said sort of suprised. Well I didn't know that he got ther that early in the morning. " Hey ... you ok?"

"By ok do you mean hyperactivly freaking out insanely through the day ... "

"Im sorry."

"Don't be. It's not ur fault anyway." I got up and started walking around the school. He walked with me. It was akward at the moment but at the same time I loved spending time with him. But he has a girlfriend. Oh so confuseing. But the topper was what he had said after that. "I like you." Now my mind was completley insane. 'He likes me? He has a girlfriend. What the hell!' My thoughts were jumbled. "You have a girlfriend."

"No I don't. "

"Then who esle would you be calling babey at the movie theaters?" 'How dare he toy with me.' My mind was shocked.

"Well.... It's complicated."

"You have a girlfriend and you still insist on flirting with me. So in other words, you're toying with me." I looked at him. He looked broken. "She's my girlfriend but she isn't. I told you it's complicated. Sometimes things just slip out."

"Well, you need to figure out if your dating anyone befor you go flirting with people." I was being a complete asshole. Sure I felt bad afterwords cuz I like him. But I hate when people do that. It's like cheating in a metophorcal way. Like a mind fuck. "I may toy with peoples heads but I don't toy with people in that ocasional catagory." I walked off. It was about time for Jackie to be comeing in anyway. I figured i'd find her. So I ended up going everywhere else then where she was. She was at the library again. "What is with you and the library lately?"

"What is with you and not being at the library?"

"I had some other things to take care of." I hugged her. "It's good to see you."

"You saw me yesterday 'ya Dip shit."

"I can't miss my best friend?"

"No." She laughed a littl bit. Billy was walking over here. Matt followed. "I'm gonna head in the library. I'll see you later." I walked in. "Hey!" I looked left. The librarian signaled me to her. "Yesss?"

"I have the new phsycology book for 'ya."

"Thanks Mrs. Peterson!" I took the book and went to my private room. Yeah they decided scince I am in there so often that I get a room all to myself. Pretty cool when you have teacher connections right? Anyway, no one else could find the room but me. Unless of course you actually try to look. The only other person who knew where it was is Jackie. And I didn't expect her to go into a library anytime soon anyway. So I had no distractions for that moment. But I looked at the book. I wasn't in the mood to read. So I just slipped on my head-phones and listened to music. I listen to incredibly loud music. Not only because it bothers people, hehe, but because it shuts the world out and puts me in my state of mind where I could really care less. Or something liket that. I ended up passing out on the table. And being late to 4th period. Science. I slept through 4 periods. I must have needed it.

I walk down the science hall. My room was at the end of it. I walk in the room. "Hey Mr. Edwards!"

"Anna! How nice of you to join us!" He was being sarcastic of course. I walked over to Dennis. "What? Did you fall asleep in the library again?"

"Haha. You know me all too well." Jeremy came up to our table. "We get to play with fire today!"

"Yes!" I love playing with fire. I am a pyromaniac. Or so Mr. Edwards calls me. It was quite amusing actually. He passed out the matches and alcohall burners. I went to a corner. Everyone knows that when I play with fire, you cannot be around me. But at that moment, my mind was spinning. I couldn't really concentrate on what I was doing. I ended up mixing some sort of chemicals together that was highly flammable. And when lit on fire, it isn't pretty. I got called down to the office. "What were you doing?! It's not like you to space out when you play with fire."

"Yea I know. I don't really know what happened."

"Are you under any kind of stress." Mrs. Newman. One of my many counslers.

"Not that I know of. Maybe I just need some time off." I wasn't really paying attention so I just kinda up and left. They'll yell at me later for it. I headed down to lunch. Normal table with normal people. Loud music like always. I was spaced. There was a tap on my shoulder. It was Matt. 'What does he wan't now?' "Yes can I help you?" My voice suddenly changed to a bitchy tone. "What I can't apologize?"

"You have no need to apologize."

"Yes I do."

"No you don't. You can't help it that your mind works in a diffrent state than everyone elses. So there is no need to apologize."

"You don't understand how my mind works."

"That's what you think."

"It's what I Know."

"Whatever. You have no reason to apologize. In my eyes, anyway."

"I don't understand you."

I'm a very complex person. It will take you a while before you figure me out." Jackie ran up to me. "Dez!Dez! You need... And .. We .. Come with me!" I got up. "Jackie calm down. Explain to me what's going on."

"CeCe Is fighting Rosey!"

"Again? What the hell is with this girl. Alright gimme a minuet." I needed to find my fight music. "If you'll excuse me, I am needed over there." Matt nodded. I walk over to where the fight was suposivly at. "You fucking bitch. I'll kill you!" Rosey went to hit CeCe. I stepped in front of CeCe and Grabbed Rosey's writst. " You won't be killing anyone. CeCe go sit down."

"You aren't involved."

"I am if you include my friends. So back off. " She looked at me. "Make me." I pushed her into a wall and hand both her arms behind her back with her legs pinned under mine. " Do we really need to emberass you?" She broke free and attempted to swing at me. I dodged and punched her in the face. She flew back into the wall. " You bitch!"

"That's my name." She ran at me and I just flipped her over my shoulder. "This so called fight is over thank you. Stay out of my friends faces and out of my way and we won't have any problems. Glad doing business with you." I walked away. I found CeCe in a corner with Jackie, and Katie. " CeCe how many times do I tell you to stay away from that girl?" I hugged her. "Im sorry."

"It's ok. Just be careful." Then my phone started ringing. " ... Hello ? ... What? There is no way.... Outside? Now? What was he doing at school? .... My lunch.... I'll be right out." I flipped my phone closed and took off twords the exit. 'There is no possible way. He couldn't have.'. I pushed open the doors. Flash. The lights of the cop cars. Flash. The ambulence. Flash. My Dad. Flash. Tears. "Noo! Let me see him! Get out of my way!" The policemen wouldn't move. " HE'S MY FATHER!" I broke free. "Daddy. I'm here. What happend?"

"I... could't see the ice ... the car ... Im sorry...."

"It's ok. I'm here now." Jackie, Kaitie, Stephanie and everyone else was standing behind the police. Watching me break down. "Don't leave me daddy. Please don't go." I looked at my hands and my shirt. Coverd in blood. "Stay strong ... I'll be watching over you..."

"Daddy ... no!"

" I ... love ... you soo much ... be good ..." His last words.

"No!" Tears pour down my face. Blood runs down my cloths. And the worst part of it all, Matt was standing right there. I felt so alone. My father was gone, and I was about ready to die at that point. Nothing could have made it any better. So let the freakout begin!

I walked back into school with everyone at my side. I took everyone to class. I skipped the rest of my classes. Just stayed in the cafatirea. I couldn't go home. I was shaking. Crying. Going more insane than I already was. I felt dizzy. My vision was blurred. And all I saw was a Black rose crossed with a red rose and a beautiful white on in the middle. The vision of roses. I fall over. Hit the ground, and hope to never wake up.