FicWad

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Good Charlotte, Simple Plan, or Paramore

A/N: This was a story I wrote for my friend. It is supposed to be Benji Madden's pov on any character you like.

Undeserving

Since the day I met you
And after all we've been through
I'm still a dick
I'm addicted to you
I think you know that it's true
I'd run a thousand miles to get you
Do you think I deserve this?

I'm watching you sat on the couch, you're not even doing anything remotely interesting but I can't stop watching you. The little things you do still catch my attention, it's stupid what you'll be doing and I'll be totally absorbed into your actions. I don't deserve to have this - be able to sit and watch you.

Why did I screw it up? Quite literally too. I'd known you for years and when Ifinally said those three words "I love you" you told me the same. It was bliss - sure we faced challenges and hate but we got through it, we got through it together and that was the most important thing to me. You were there for me and I knew it, nothing people could do or say could ever stop us loving each other. You didn't deserve that hate.

Except that is for me. I managed to get you to stop loving me, I didn't want to though, it 'happened', actually that's the worst excuse I've ever heard, Icould have said no but I was filled with that many substances and so heavily intoxicated I didn't know what I was doing. Yet when I remembered I lied about what I'd done. I was always taught "honesty is the best policy" but since when did I do what people told me? Now I know I should, then we would still be together and your heart wouldn't be broken. You don't deserve this pain.

Even after all the alcohol you're still my worst addiction. I kicked the booze and pills, you kicked me out but I still couldn't and can't forget you. I don't think it helps that we're on tour together but if I wanted to I could avoid you. Instead of avoiding you I try to be near you. One night we were alone Itold you that I'd do anything to get to you - even run a thousand miles if Ihad to, and you believed me, no question about it. I didn't deserve you.

I'm still watching, a look of longing and regret in my eyes, you look up from your magazine and notice. I was always sure you could read my mind and more than ever I believe it. You tell me to stop staring, and I apologize. But it's what you say after that makes everything better.

"Don't apologize. It's been a couple of months and I still can't stop loving you completely. You're my addiction; I crave your taste on my lips and touch on my skin. I need you to lie next to me and comfort me when things go wrong. You didn't know what you were doing that night and I've finally come to my senses - you don't deserve this ignorance I've been showing towards you."

I'm stunned. He thinks I deserve a second chance - I'm certainly not going to pass on this one.