FicWad

"Oh, you guys should have really seen this coming!" Steven Smith said.

Of course! It was just a few days before Valentine's Day, who wouldn't see this coming? Well, Matt Sanders (more commonly known as M. Shadows), Gerard Way, Zacky Baker (better known as Zacky Vengeance), Bert McCracken, and Frank Iero just to name a few who were too blind to see this.

A whole interview set aside for talking about that special someone. Gerard really hated these things, but more so now that ever because at the moment his relationship was a little hard to explain. Or it could be really simple to explain if you were a Frerard loving fan girl; it all depends on how you look at it.

Gerard's status would consist of something that looked like this: married to a woman named Lindsey, secretly dating and in love with a man named Frank Iero. How does that sound for awkward? Well, I suppose the way he sees it, Lindsey plays guitar (bass) in a band and is kinda gross, so she has the feminine level of Frank so he could settle for her.... publicly, that is.

Ah, Zacky Baker. Who doesn't love the barely heard, sexy as hell guitarist for an awesome rock band? No, really, who doesn't? Everyone knows that Zacky and his slut of a wife were never going to work out. So while he is going through a nasty divorce, he's dating. No big deal, right? It's okay to date while going through a divorce you're not actually together, right? Yea, I suppose that's right, but dating someone who isn't what I like to call 'legal' may pose a bit of a difficult situation seeing as how this a 'Let the world know who you're with!' type of interview. Barely legal.... it's still legal, but while going through a disgusting divorce with a disgusting whore? Is all the drama fully necessary?

Frankie! Too considerate to leave that ugly slob he calls a wife because he knows no one will take her ugly ass. You gotta love a man with kindness! As long as he has Gerard on the side, that's enough, right? Gerard could handle not being with Frank publicly because he doesn't want to leave Jamia.... maybe....

This interview was a little less difficult but definitely not easy to say for a certain Matt Shadows. He was married. Simple enough, right? Oh, of course not, that would take away all the fun. He was indeed married to a woman named Valary DiBenedetto, or now Val Sanders, but oh-so in love with some one else. Which normally (what the hell is normal in this situation anyway?) wouldn't be a problem, but the woman he is in love with and not married to is not dating him.... and in a serious relationship with another person in the industry.

Which brings us to Mr. Bert McCracken. The single simplest guy in this bunch of fucktards. He is dating the same person he is in love with: perfect! Plus, neither of them are cheating on each other. That still won't stop a certain Matt Shadows from trying. C'mon, Matt, focus on VAL!


"Why don't you let everyone know who you are with and a little something about them," Steven said with a smirk. He knew these people, of all the rock stars he could have interviewed; these people hated the relationship talk.

"Mista Shadows?" he said with a ghetto accent.

"I'm married to Valary Sanders. She's a twin; I've never shown any interest towards her sister either. So there all you Fan Fiction writers!" Matt said laughing. Truth was, he couldn't tell them apart the first month or so. Or until Val dyed her hair.

"Classic. Robert?" He said with a now British accent. Why did he find it necessary to change accents? It wasn't going to gain any viewers.

"I'm dating the most amazing girl in the world, Ambre. She is actually the merch girl for a certain band called Avenged Sevenfold," Bert said. He put a strain on the word dating. He didn't like it. It didn't really fit the situation.

'Just a merch girl... that's it! That's all we'll ever. have.' Matt thought dramatically to himself. He couldn't stand the thought of that being it. That was the only basis of their relationship. Employer and employee. Ugh, it made him a little sick and very depressed to know that she chose Bert-fucking looking like a hobo- McCracken over him; he thought of himself as pretty damn sexy.

"Wow, Bert, you seemed like the word dating caused you a little pain there buddy. Why is that?" Steven asked. Thankfully it was strange accent-free so it made Gerard less nervous. This was yet again another Valentine's Day, the supposed most romantic day of the year, without showing Frank any kind of public acknowledgement.

Actually, Valentine's Day is a little sick. It represents Sr. Valentine, a ruthless king, who wanted all the fucks in the land married no matter how young, so he made it a law. Those who weren't married were slaughtered. Some how that's remembered as 'romantic'....

"Honestly, it fucking causes me a lot of pain," Bert admitted. Matt grew rather excited; he hoped this was the end of them as we knew it. "I'm extremely bummed that we haven't gotten passed that. Very sad to know that I don't have the balls to propose yet... but I'm working on it, don't worry," he said with hope.

"Motherfucker!" Matt shouted. It was probably supposed to be a thought, but obviously God fucking hated him right now, so he decided to embarrass the shit out of him. Way. To. Go. Jesus.

Steven looked concerned. "You ok?" he asked.

''I'm not o-fucking-kay!' Matt wanted to shout. 'This worthless fuck is about to pop the question to my girl! Why the hell would I be ok?!' But of course said nothing of the sort. Instead he just laughed and scratched his balls.

"Dude, I know we're on camera, but I couldn't take it anymore!" he covered.

'Nice' Zacky thought. He knew the truth, just like Matt knew the truth about Zacky and Emi, his secret girlfriend.

"Uh-huh. Ok...." Steven said with pretended awkwardness. He knew when a guy itched, he scratched. It was first nature to them.

"Frank Iero! The man of two different bands! How are things going?" Steven asked.

"Um, f-fine. I'm still married to Jamia Nestor, of course. We've been together since high school," he said not wanting to give too many details.

"I'm happy for you," Steven replied with no sincerity. Oh, c'mon! Everyone had to know by now! Jamia and Steven were together! You'd have to be fucking blind not to see that. Why do you think he kept interviewing My Chemical Romance? Because he liked Gerard's skeleton jammies? Fuck no! Because he wanted to keep tabs on Frank and see if Jamia had said anything, or put out recently. He couldn't bare the thought.....

"Zaaaccckky," Steven said in a taunting voice.

"Oh, fine!" Zacky gave up. "I have a girlfriend named Emi... she's actually best friends with our lovely little merch girl, Ambre," he said avoiding calling her 'Bert's girl'. He didn't want to upset Matt even more.

"Wait. Emi? Like Emi our guitar tech? Damn dude! Do you know how---" Frank started.

"Can it! He knows, shut up!" Matt yelled at him and cut him off. After all, Zacky avoided his touchy subject, so he felt the need to return the favor.

"Don't fucking yell at him!" Gerard shouted. He knew Matt didn't mean to yell, it's just... you don't fucking yell at someone's boyfriend in front of them.

"Guys, chill," Bert said in real mellow tone placing his hands on Gerard's and Matt's shoulders.

"Get this motherfucker off of me! Don't give me another reason to fucking kill him!" Matt shouted slinging Bert's hand off of him.

"What the hell is going on?" Steven shouted. He obviously didn't know what the deal was. Fuck! Did anyone know what all was going down?

"Explain what is going on right now, every one of you. I could loose my damn job over you morons!" Steven screamed.

"He yelled at Frankie!" Gerard started.

"That's because your precious little 'Frankie' was sticking his nose where it shouldn't be!" Matt defended.

"He wasn't even talking to you, Matt!" Gerard yelled.

"Really? I don't remember talking to you either, Gerard!" Matt commented sarcastically.

"You can't expect me not to say anything when you fucking yell at my boyf--" Gerard started, but cut himself off. He shot a worried look at Frank who looked horror stricken.

"Your what? Boyfriend? I fucking knew you two where getting it on!" Zacky accused.

"At least we aren't fucking underage roadies!!" Frank defended himself and Gerard while smoothly covering the couple accusation, but not completely denying it either.

"She isn't underage! She's legal, and I love her. At least I'm not cheating on my wife!" Zacky yelled.

"That is none of your Goddamn business!" Frank shouted.

"So you are?" Steven asked. That made him feel less bad about fucking the dud's wife. "Hey, man, feel free. She's not exactly a hundred percent for you if you know what I'm saying..." he hinted.

"So you're the other guy?! I knew it!" Frank shouted. Mad at himself because he could have ended the relationship earlier.

"Well... yea... and you have no fucking right to be mad at me! You and happy pants here have probably been together for years," Steven said.

Frank just shrugged in understanding. He wasn't mad at him.

"Wow this is fucked up," Bert commented. "At least our relationships are stable, aye man?" he said nudging Matt. That was too much. Matt snapped.

"You motherfucking retard! No our relationships are not stable! Mine's fucking not! Are you blind? You must be one stupid sumbitch not to see that I am absolutely in love with Ambre! How could she choose you over me? How fucked up is that!?" he screamed.

"Well... I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I thought this was going to run a lot smoother..." Steven started looking really guilty. "Plus, I really wanted to hook up with Frank's wife tonight..."

"Have at it," Frank encouraged.

"So... the ladies are kind of behind this door.... they kinda heard everything.... Sorry," he apologized.

The five of them stormed out. Very few of them happy.

"You fag! How could you do this? Do you realize how bad this is for my reputation?" Lindsey yelled at Gerard. "And in case you haven't noticed it's over... fucking fairy!" She ran off stage and out of the building.

"Works for me," Gerard shrugged and kissed Frank publicly for the first time other than on stage.

Frank giggled. "I love--"

"I cannot believe you, Frank!" Jamia yelled interrupting their moment. "You cheated on me!"

Frank was taken aback. "Ha! So did you!" he accused accurately.

"But you cheated on me with another man!" she said with slight distaste.

"Love is love, baby," Steven said. That won her over. How easily insane women are persuaded!

By this time Emi was already in Zacky's arms still reeling over the fact he said 'I love her', and didn't deny her this time despite the weird looks about the age difference. That was good enough for her.

"You. Are. In love. With that?!" Valary scoffed in disbelief nodding toward Ambre. Matt nodded sheepishly.

"I think I am..." he said warily. “I think I am...."

Val made a clicking noise with her tongue as if she was thinking. "Well, the way I see it. That's never gonna work out. You have a perfectly decent relationship here. Plus, you only think you are in love with someone else, and it is possible to be in love with more than one person at a time, it's just different love. Are you willing to make this work or are you just going to give up on love all together?" she asked understandingly.

Matt grinned. "Now I remember why I fell in love with you in the first place. You always seem to understand and rationalize. You are perfect." He kissed her. I think that patched up most of the punctures in their relationship.

Bert shook his head in confusion. Ambre bobbed her head up and down still stuck on one thing.

"Wow," she said, almost whispered.

"Wow," Bert agreed.

"Did you say you wanted to propose... to me?" she finally got out. Ever since he said that it had been stuck in her brain. She seemed to have zoned out and gotten away from all of the drama and just focused on the moment he said he was trying to get up the courage to pop the question.

Bert took a deep breath and got on one knee just like in the movies in front of her.

"Ambre, will you marry me?" he asked, slightly shaking from the nerves.

She smiled. "If you marry me would you bury me and carry me to the end?" she asked quoting non other than his favorite song and one he helped write.

"Without a doubt," he promised.

"Yes, I will marry you," she said kissing him as he was trying to stand up and put the ring on her finger at the same time.










No, really, what did you think? It's my first on-shot! Fuck yeah, I'm no longer a one-shot virgin! heehee Review please, other wise I won't know if my first time was special or not. bahaha =P