Categories > Original > Drama > Beat of Their Own Drums
A/N: Hi guys! I'll be honest with you right off the bat, m'kay? This song is actually not on my iPod. I just used it because my friend suggested it and I liked the lyrics. For those few who've read this, you can suggest stuff too. Just remember that I might not be able to use it.
Disclaimer: I do not own the lyrics to "I'm Yours"
Song Used: Jason Mraz's "I'm Yours"
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Fifty-Eight: I'm Yours
Puppet: Cormac O'Kane
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well you done, done me in you bet I felt it,
I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted,
I fell right through the cracks,
Now I'm tryin' to get back,
Before the cool done run out I'll be givin' it my bestest,
And nothin's gonna stop me but divine intervention,
I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some...
There was just something about her. I didn't know what it was or how I knew it was there, but ever since that day on the bus, I knew there was something special about her.
I'd been sitting by myself in the back of the school bus, feeling very alone because Keefe had stayed home all day due to a nasty cough (for he got those quite often). Usually, he'd have been sitting next to me, silent, but at least there. I'd never liked being separated from my brother, especially when he was sick; when I was even younger, I'd been terrified that he might die if I left his side.
I hadn't thought anything of it when that quiet, black-haired and strangely blue-eyed girl from my 6th grade class stumbled over the intentionally outstretched foot of an 8th grader. Stuff like that happened all the time; there was nothing we could do. They were bigger than us. Stronger than us.
What got my attention was not only a) the fact that two of her books spilled into my lap, but b) the humiliated, near-to-tears look on her face when she got back up. Seeing her like that struck a painful chord in my heart, and though I didn't (and still don't) know why it bothered me more than normal, it did. I helped her get her books, some of which had ended up on the empty seat next to me and some on the floor.
Then I dealt with the older, bigger boy who had picked on her, a phrase which here means that I tried to fight with him and got my ass kicked by a stranger, for a stranger.
But it was worth it, I learned after the next few days. She and I got to talking after the whole incident, and she hung around me and treated me like a hero (which, in a way, I guess I was in her eyes). I discovered she was an interesting girl, and a pretty one at that. And, like all young boys who liked a girl a little more than as a friend, I tried to pretend I was cool to impress her.
Even now, as an 18-year-old fresh out of high school, I was constantly trying to be the strong one, to be the hero I'd been to her when we were 12. She'd never taken an interest in me; I was her best friend in the whole world, but I wasn't boyfriend material. She knew me too well; no one wanted to date someone they'd seen go through a stepparent's abuse. She preferred a boy who could never love her the way I did; the one who hadn't been attacked by a dog when he were six, the one who had a prettier face than mine.
But now he wasn't part of her life anymore. She'd said that she loved me just yesterday, but I had to make sure that I was the only one she really wanted.
I deserved it, after all. I'd lived four years of my life feeling as if the one I felt so strongly for didn't feel the same. I was going to win her heart. Only Death could stop me now.
I won't hesitate no more, no more,
It cannot wait,
I'm yours...
“Today's the day, Keefe,” I told my brother as I looked through our closet for something nice to wear, “I'm finally going out with her. On a real date, just us.”
Keefe was watching me, and though I couldn't see it, I knew that he was (God forbid) smiling. At first, I'd thought he'd be jealous, having not had a girlfriend since junior year. I'd been hesitant to tell him that I was going to make my move, but he'd seen the lovestruck smile on my face this morning at breakfast, and he'd almost forced it out of me. “Good luck,” he said, though there was no sarcasm in her words at all, “maybe now I won't have to hear about her so much.”
I paused and shot him a look over my shoulder. If this went well, he was going to hear a lot more about her. He of all people should know that. My brother knew how long I'd pined for that silly girl. He caught my look, and to my surprise he started to laugh. “Sorry. I just had to say that to see how you'd respond.”
I shivered. Just the idea of spending time alone with her sent tingles down my spine. I was so excited! I really didn't want to have to spend so much time picking something to wear, but I wanted to look good. I wanted her to think I was handsome. I wanted her to think I was worth spending her time with. I wanted her to see me as beautifully as I saw her.
I took a smart-looking button down polo shirt. It looked like something Keefe would wear, though, because it was ash gray with lighter gray stripes. It was likely it was Keefe's; we had a similar build, he and I, and rather than go through the hassle of remembering who's shirt was who's, we just shared most of our clothes. It's what we'd done since we were children, even though it seemed a little weird to some other folks.
I held it up against my undershirt and turned, showing it to him. “What do you think?” I asked anxiously, “Will she like this one?”
He cocked a skeptic eyebrow. “Why are you asking me? I don't have boobs.”
I glared at him irritably. “Just tell me if you think it looks okay.”
He rolled his eyes. “All right, all right...Jesus. If I didn't know any better I'd say it was your time of the month,” he said as he stood up and came over to me, “it all depends one what you're going for.”
I blinked, not quite understanding. “Going for...?”
Keefe nodded impatiently. “Yeah. Ya' know, like...do you want her to think you're cute?” As he spoke, he gestured to some articles of clothing I'd already discarded. Then, he took out a plain white tee and one of his old leather jackets, pressed both against my chest and smiled a little. “Or sexy?”
I bit my lip and looked at the pile of other clothes. They were more my style; I was the cute one, I'd been told. But being cute hadn't gotten her attention before. Maybe I needed to try the bad boy look. I took the tee from him and slipped it on, then put my arms through the jacket sleeves. “Sexy.”
Open up your mind and see like me,
Open up your plans and damn you're free,
Look into your heart and you'll find love, love, love...
Listen to the music of the moment people dance and sing,
We're just one big family,
It's our God-forsaken right to be loved, loved, loved...
After Keefe was done with me, I felt like a greaser from the 50's or something. Besides the leather jacket and the white tee, he'd found some faded old torn-up jeans to go with. The only things I felt were missing was my mullet, some sunglasses, and the souped up muscle car. I didn't feel natural and I was having some second thoughts about this, but I had already come this far.
No turning back now.
After what seemed like a thousand years since I'd gotten dressed, I was standing out on the porch, waiting for her to answer. We weren't doing anything big; it was just a picnic in the park. The door to the Waters' home cracked open a bit, and none other than Joshua peered back at me. I winced; I didn't want him to see me like this! Why couldn't Paige or even Luke have opened the door?
“Hi, Mr. Waters,” I managed to speak without stuttering, swallowing hard, “is Paige here?”
His lip curled and he looked about ready to slam the door in my face, but then I easily recognized my pretty angel's voice from somewhere inside and he withdrew. I bit my lip uncertainly, unsure of what to do now.
To my relief, the door opened wide and her familiar blue eyes blinked up at me in surprise. Obviously, she wasn't quite sure of what to make of me, either. “Mac?”
I nodded, feeling so awkward that I wanted to crawl into a deep, dark hole and never come out again. “Hi, Paige.” I murmured, bowing my head and smiling sheepishly at her, not so sure about this anymore.
I couldn't take the awkward silence for too long. I couldn't let her look at me like that for too long. “Look, we don't have to go out if you don't want to,” I said, rubbing the back of my neck, “I...I shouldn't have let Keefe help me...”
To my surprise, she actually started laughing. She came through the door and closed it behind her, which brought her front pressing gently up against mine. She smiled, a giggle both in her eyes and on her lips, and even stood up on tip-toe to press her lips very gently to my own. I shivered, suddenly feeling numb to anything but her.
“It's okay,” she whispered soothingly once her lips broke away from mine, “I'm just a little surprised, that's all.”
I looked at her and found myself smiling, no longer feeling awkward. It seemed like no matter what stupid thing I chose to do, she was open to it and would love me anyway. That kiss made my heart sing. I finally had the love I'd been waiting an ungodly amount of time for. I almost wished this quick moment could last forever.
I won't hesitate no more, no more,
It cannot wait, I'm sure,
There's no need to complicate, our time is short,
This is our fate, I'm yours...
As soon as we arrived at the park, I was struck by the simplicity of it all. I had been so caught up in the preparation, in what she was going to think of me, that I hadn't been able to appreciate just how nice it really was. The flowers I'd brought had wilted slightly in the heat of the car, but I wasn't as disappointed as I'd thought I'd be.
I mean, come on! I was on my first real date with someone I'd been crazy about for so long. She had already claimed to return my feelings after what seemed like forever. We would have some time to spend alone, and I wouldn't have to feel guilty about it because she belonged to someone else. But then again, she wasn't exactly mine. Was she?
I was hers, that was for sure. I had been for a long time. Were we meant to be together? Was that why I'd been able to hold on to my feelings for her for all that time?
That's all I could figure.
As soon as I sat down and laid out all the food, I found myself admiring her, lost in thought. She was only here for the summer. Then she was going right back to Chile. I had to make the very most of the time I had spent with her.
My skin felt sticky and slick with sweat from the jacket, even though it wasn't especially warm. But I still wanted to impress her, so I didn't take it off. I kept it on, but felt stupid for it; it was hot out here, and it wasn't me.
(Do, do, do, do, skooch on over closer dear so I can nibble on your ear)...
“So what's with the clothes?” she asked, stretching out on her back and folding her hands behind her head, “Did your side of the closet explode and Keefe let you borrow his?”
I laughed nervously, not wanting to make it sound like I actually liked wearing these clothes, but at the same time, not wanting to make it seem like I wasn't into it. I wanted to catch her attention. Make it look like I was worth her time. “No, I just asked him to help me.”
She peeked open one eye, an amused smile on her lips. “Can't dress yourself, eh?”
I coughed anxiously and reached for an apple, hoping to get my mind off of what was happening. “It's not that...”
I glanced over at her, brushing my fingertips against her brow and marveling at the softness of her skin. What was I supposed to say? Should I have told her the truth? Or should I have just made something up?
“I really wanted to look good for you,” I said eventually, deciding the truth was better, “I thought you might like the bad boy look better.”
I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror,
And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer,
My breath fogged up the glass,
And so I drew a new face and laughed,
I guess what I'm saying is there ain't no better reason,
To rid yourself of vanity and just go with the seasons,
It's what we aim to do, our name is our virtue...
Paige sat up suddenly, still looking like she was finding something about me funny as Hell. “Cormac Teague O'Kane,” she said my full name in a gently scolding tone, as if she were a mother gently chiding her disobedient child, “I don't care what you look like. I'm just glad that you asked me.”
I blinked. “Really?” I asked softly, struck by the thought, “You don't even mind the...”
I trailed off, brushing my fingers over the scars on my face. I knew they were an eyesore for most, and the idea that someone wasn't intimidated by them was a new concept. I'd always thought that even Paige was a little afraid of me.
She inched close and pushed my fingers aside with her own, smiling still. “Not even those. It's you I want, Mac. Not your face.”
My lips quivered, the urge to kiss her almost overwhelming. Who would've thought that hearing something as simple as that would be such a turn on? I just needed to go with the flow. Vanity was going to be my downfall; I didn't have any room to be worried about looks. I cupped her jaw in both hands, her skin warm and smooth against the roughness of my palms.
“I love you.” I murmured softly, slowly bringing my lips closer and closer to hers. Knowing I had the ability to kiss her was so new, so freeing...
To my surprise and dismay, she withdrew, shaking her head. She blew a laugh through her nose and I was relieved, but curious. What was so funny? “Take off the jacket first,” she demanded softly, “I want to kiss the real thing, not Danny Zuko.”
The jacket was off in a second and instantly I felt better; not only was it cooler without it, but I felt like myself. I smiled, and that quickly changed into a hearty laugh when she gave me a playful push that knocked me flat on my back. “Now I've got you.” She boasted triumphantly, obviously referring to how I'd kissed her on the beach about a week ago.
I peered up at her; the girl I loved more than anything, the one resting the top half of her body against my chest. I gently pressed my hand against the back of her neck, leaned up, and kissed her softly.
After I pulled away, I smiled warmly at her. “I don't know why you think you've accomplished something,” I told her, “I've been yours for a long time.”
I won't hesitate no more, no more,
It cannot wait, I'm sure,
There's no need to complicate, our time is short,
This is our fate, I'm yours.
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A/N: Hmm. Mac is such a sweetheart, ain't he? I really like the bit with Mac and Keefe; those two are awesome. They make me wish that I had a sibling I liked that much. XD
Disclaimer: I do not own the lyrics to "I'm Yours"
Song Used: Jason Mraz's "I'm Yours"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Fifty-Eight: I'm Yours
Puppet: Cormac O'Kane
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well you done, done me in you bet I felt it,
I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted,
I fell right through the cracks,
Now I'm tryin' to get back,
Before the cool done run out I'll be givin' it my bestest,
And nothin's gonna stop me but divine intervention,
I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some...
There was just something about her. I didn't know what it was or how I knew it was there, but ever since that day on the bus, I knew there was something special about her.
I'd been sitting by myself in the back of the school bus, feeling very alone because Keefe had stayed home all day due to a nasty cough (for he got those quite often). Usually, he'd have been sitting next to me, silent, but at least there. I'd never liked being separated from my brother, especially when he was sick; when I was even younger, I'd been terrified that he might die if I left his side.
I hadn't thought anything of it when that quiet, black-haired and strangely blue-eyed girl from my 6th grade class stumbled over the intentionally outstretched foot of an 8th grader. Stuff like that happened all the time; there was nothing we could do. They were bigger than us. Stronger than us.
What got my attention was not only a) the fact that two of her books spilled into my lap, but b) the humiliated, near-to-tears look on her face when she got back up. Seeing her like that struck a painful chord in my heart, and though I didn't (and still don't) know why it bothered me more than normal, it did. I helped her get her books, some of which had ended up on the empty seat next to me and some on the floor.
Then I dealt with the older, bigger boy who had picked on her, a phrase which here means that I tried to fight with him and got my ass kicked by a stranger, for a stranger.
But it was worth it, I learned after the next few days. She and I got to talking after the whole incident, and she hung around me and treated me like a hero (which, in a way, I guess I was in her eyes). I discovered she was an interesting girl, and a pretty one at that. And, like all young boys who liked a girl a little more than as a friend, I tried to pretend I was cool to impress her.
Even now, as an 18-year-old fresh out of high school, I was constantly trying to be the strong one, to be the hero I'd been to her when we were 12. She'd never taken an interest in me; I was her best friend in the whole world, but I wasn't boyfriend material. She knew me too well; no one wanted to date someone they'd seen go through a stepparent's abuse. She preferred a boy who could never love her the way I did; the one who hadn't been attacked by a dog when he were six, the one who had a prettier face than mine.
But now he wasn't part of her life anymore. She'd said that she loved me just yesterday, but I had to make sure that I was the only one she really wanted.
I deserved it, after all. I'd lived four years of my life feeling as if the one I felt so strongly for didn't feel the same. I was going to win her heart. Only Death could stop me now.
I won't hesitate no more, no more,
It cannot wait,
I'm yours...
“Today's the day, Keefe,” I told my brother as I looked through our closet for something nice to wear, “I'm finally going out with her. On a real date, just us.”
Keefe was watching me, and though I couldn't see it, I knew that he was (God forbid) smiling. At first, I'd thought he'd be jealous, having not had a girlfriend since junior year. I'd been hesitant to tell him that I was going to make my move, but he'd seen the lovestruck smile on my face this morning at breakfast, and he'd almost forced it out of me. “Good luck,” he said, though there was no sarcasm in her words at all, “maybe now I won't have to hear about her so much.”
I paused and shot him a look over my shoulder. If this went well, he was going to hear a lot more about her. He of all people should know that. My brother knew how long I'd pined for that silly girl. He caught my look, and to my surprise he started to laugh. “Sorry. I just had to say that to see how you'd respond.”
I shivered. Just the idea of spending time alone with her sent tingles down my spine. I was so excited! I really didn't want to have to spend so much time picking something to wear, but I wanted to look good. I wanted her to think I was handsome. I wanted her to think I was worth spending her time with. I wanted her to see me as beautifully as I saw her.
I took a smart-looking button down polo shirt. It looked like something Keefe would wear, though, because it was ash gray with lighter gray stripes. It was likely it was Keefe's; we had a similar build, he and I, and rather than go through the hassle of remembering who's shirt was who's, we just shared most of our clothes. It's what we'd done since we were children, even though it seemed a little weird to some other folks.
I held it up against my undershirt and turned, showing it to him. “What do you think?” I asked anxiously, “Will she like this one?”
He cocked a skeptic eyebrow. “Why are you asking me? I don't have boobs.”
I glared at him irritably. “Just tell me if you think it looks okay.”
He rolled his eyes. “All right, all right...Jesus. If I didn't know any better I'd say it was your time of the month,” he said as he stood up and came over to me, “it all depends one what you're going for.”
I blinked, not quite understanding. “Going for...?”
Keefe nodded impatiently. “Yeah. Ya' know, like...do you want her to think you're cute?” As he spoke, he gestured to some articles of clothing I'd already discarded. Then, he took out a plain white tee and one of his old leather jackets, pressed both against my chest and smiled a little. “Or sexy?”
I bit my lip and looked at the pile of other clothes. They were more my style; I was the cute one, I'd been told. But being cute hadn't gotten her attention before. Maybe I needed to try the bad boy look. I took the tee from him and slipped it on, then put my arms through the jacket sleeves. “Sexy.”
Open up your mind and see like me,
Open up your plans and damn you're free,
Look into your heart and you'll find love, love, love...
Listen to the music of the moment people dance and sing,
We're just one big family,
It's our God-forsaken right to be loved, loved, loved...
After Keefe was done with me, I felt like a greaser from the 50's or something. Besides the leather jacket and the white tee, he'd found some faded old torn-up jeans to go with. The only things I felt were missing was my mullet, some sunglasses, and the souped up muscle car. I didn't feel natural and I was having some second thoughts about this, but I had already come this far.
No turning back now.
After what seemed like a thousand years since I'd gotten dressed, I was standing out on the porch, waiting for her to answer. We weren't doing anything big; it was just a picnic in the park. The door to the Waters' home cracked open a bit, and none other than Joshua peered back at me. I winced; I didn't want him to see me like this! Why couldn't Paige or even Luke have opened the door?
“Hi, Mr. Waters,” I managed to speak without stuttering, swallowing hard, “is Paige here?”
His lip curled and he looked about ready to slam the door in my face, but then I easily recognized my pretty angel's voice from somewhere inside and he withdrew. I bit my lip uncertainly, unsure of what to do now.
To my relief, the door opened wide and her familiar blue eyes blinked up at me in surprise. Obviously, she wasn't quite sure of what to make of me, either. “Mac?”
I nodded, feeling so awkward that I wanted to crawl into a deep, dark hole and never come out again. “Hi, Paige.” I murmured, bowing my head and smiling sheepishly at her, not so sure about this anymore.
I couldn't take the awkward silence for too long. I couldn't let her look at me like that for too long. “Look, we don't have to go out if you don't want to,” I said, rubbing the back of my neck, “I...I shouldn't have let Keefe help me...”
To my surprise, she actually started laughing. She came through the door and closed it behind her, which brought her front pressing gently up against mine. She smiled, a giggle both in her eyes and on her lips, and even stood up on tip-toe to press her lips very gently to my own. I shivered, suddenly feeling numb to anything but her.
“It's okay,” she whispered soothingly once her lips broke away from mine, “I'm just a little surprised, that's all.”
I looked at her and found myself smiling, no longer feeling awkward. It seemed like no matter what stupid thing I chose to do, she was open to it and would love me anyway. That kiss made my heart sing. I finally had the love I'd been waiting an ungodly amount of time for. I almost wished this quick moment could last forever.
I won't hesitate no more, no more,
It cannot wait, I'm sure,
There's no need to complicate, our time is short,
This is our fate, I'm yours...
As soon as we arrived at the park, I was struck by the simplicity of it all. I had been so caught up in the preparation, in what she was going to think of me, that I hadn't been able to appreciate just how nice it really was. The flowers I'd brought had wilted slightly in the heat of the car, but I wasn't as disappointed as I'd thought I'd be.
I mean, come on! I was on my first real date with someone I'd been crazy about for so long. She had already claimed to return my feelings after what seemed like forever. We would have some time to spend alone, and I wouldn't have to feel guilty about it because she belonged to someone else. But then again, she wasn't exactly mine. Was she?
I was hers, that was for sure. I had been for a long time. Were we meant to be together? Was that why I'd been able to hold on to my feelings for her for all that time?
That's all I could figure.
As soon as I sat down and laid out all the food, I found myself admiring her, lost in thought. She was only here for the summer. Then she was going right back to Chile. I had to make the very most of the time I had spent with her.
My skin felt sticky and slick with sweat from the jacket, even though it wasn't especially warm. But I still wanted to impress her, so I didn't take it off. I kept it on, but felt stupid for it; it was hot out here, and it wasn't me.
(Do, do, do, do, skooch on over closer dear so I can nibble on your ear)...
“So what's with the clothes?” she asked, stretching out on her back and folding her hands behind her head, “Did your side of the closet explode and Keefe let you borrow his?”
I laughed nervously, not wanting to make it sound like I actually liked wearing these clothes, but at the same time, not wanting to make it seem like I wasn't into it. I wanted to catch her attention. Make it look like I was worth her time. “No, I just asked him to help me.”
She peeked open one eye, an amused smile on her lips. “Can't dress yourself, eh?”
I coughed anxiously and reached for an apple, hoping to get my mind off of what was happening. “It's not that...”
I glanced over at her, brushing my fingertips against her brow and marveling at the softness of her skin. What was I supposed to say? Should I have told her the truth? Or should I have just made something up?
“I really wanted to look good for you,” I said eventually, deciding the truth was better, “I thought you might like the bad boy look better.”
I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror,
And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer,
My breath fogged up the glass,
And so I drew a new face and laughed,
I guess what I'm saying is there ain't no better reason,
To rid yourself of vanity and just go with the seasons,
It's what we aim to do, our name is our virtue...
Paige sat up suddenly, still looking like she was finding something about me funny as Hell. “Cormac Teague O'Kane,” she said my full name in a gently scolding tone, as if she were a mother gently chiding her disobedient child, “I don't care what you look like. I'm just glad that you asked me.”
I blinked. “Really?” I asked softly, struck by the thought, “You don't even mind the...”
I trailed off, brushing my fingers over the scars on my face. I knew they were an eyesore for most, and the idea that someone wasn't intimidated by them was a new concept. I'd always thought that even Paige was a little afraid of me.
She inched close and pushed my fingers aside with her own, smiling still. “Not even those. It's you I want, Mac. Not your face.”
My lips quivered, the urge to kiss her almost overwhelming. Who would've thought that hearing something as simple as that would be such a turn on? I just needed to go with the flow. Vanity was going to be my downfall; I didn't have any room to be worried about looks. I cupped her jaw in both hands, her skin warm and smooth against the roughness of my palms.
“I love you.” I murmured softly, slowly bringing my lips closer and closer to hers. Knowing I had the ability to kiss her was so new, so freeing...
To my surprise and dismay, she withdrew, shaking her head. She blew a laugh through her nose and I was relieved, but curious. What was so funny? “Take off the jacket first,” she demanded softly, “I want to kiss the real thing, not Danny Zuko.”
The jacket was off in a second and instantly I felt better; not only was it cooler without it, but I felt like myself. I smiled, and that quickly changed into a hearty laugh when she gave me a playful push that knocked me flat on my back. “Now I've got you.” She boasted triumphantly, obviously referring to how I'd kissed her on the beach about a week ago.
I peered up at her; the girl I loved more than anything, the one resting the top half of her body against my chest. I gently pressed my hand against the back of her neck, leaned up, and kissed her softly.
After I pulled away, I smiled warmly at her. “I don't know why you think you've accomplished something,” I told her, “I've been yours for a long time.”
I won't hesitate no more, no more,
It cannot wait, I'm sure,
There's no need to complicate, our time is short,
This is our fate, I'm yours.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A/N: Hmm. Mac is such a sweetheart, ain't he? I really like the bit with Mac and Keefe; those two are awesome. They make me wish that I had a sibling I liked that much. XD
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