Categories > Anime/Manga > Yu-Gi-Oh! > When Marik Met Angel Kaiba
Ok, this is a two part one short fic. It is about Marik's love for Angel Kaiba, twin sister of Seto Kaiba.
-1MarySue
Reviews
When Marik Met Angel Kaiba
(#) armourdude 2006-03-21
You are in luck! I hjave actualy watched Yu-Gi Oh! with some regualrity. here is what I can do to help you.
Since you asked for help aboput the story I will spare you the details about formatting and grammer and such. I am not very good at that anyway.
The story you wrote is good in my opinion. In fact it reads just like Yu-Gi-Oh!. In fact so much like it it is not differnt enough from the real thing. What I am saying is that with fan fiction people tend to make it in a way that they would like to see differnt from the real thing. Don't you want to see your favorite characters do something differnt from the norm?
But it would still have to be plausable in that it would have to be something those characters could do.
With in this story you wasted no time in getting to the dueling. In fact this story was mostly dueling and not too much more. I think it was done fairly well anbd flowed like the TV show but nothing to unexpected. You may also want to interduce a aspect of something new to your fan fiction that you wont see on the program. Maybe a new side character that is really differnt.
You might want to try a cliff hanger ending too that is a old method that tend to get reads to come back.
In reply to your e-mail
But the best piece of advice I can give is this.
If you want people to read your stories you should go and read thiers first. Then leave the best kind of review you can.
Maybe they will return the favor
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