Categories > Books > Harry Potter
Here We Go Again
1 reviewHarry thought Voldemort was his worst problem, he needs to seriously reconsider.
2Funny
Just to warn you it's pure parody. And yes, there are people out there who actually love Snape.
Harry sank unto the couch nestled next to the fire in the Gryffindor common room. Rubbing his throbbing head he gazed into the fiery embers, his eyes watering with exhaustion. Ron and Hermione walked in cautiously sitting next to him.
"You okay mate?" Ron inquired staring at his grim friend.
"The extra lessons with Dumbledore make me tired, that's all." Harry admitted shrugging his shoulders.
"Why don't you get some rest?" Hermione suggested placing her hand on his shoulder.
"Not now." Harry replied glancing up and giving her a reassuring smile
"Alright, how are they going?" Judging by Hermione's tone Harry could tell she was curious.
"Fine, just Voldemort’s a lot to worry about right now." His voice was dry and he licked his chapped lips which were beginning to burn. All of a sudden high-pitched screams erupted from the corridors. Leaping up the trio ran out to see what was causing all the chaos. There were four girls running around the place screaming picking up random objects and fussing over...They couldn't believe it...Snape.
"OH MY JONAS!" A brunette girl with green eyes cried hanging on Snape's right arm, "THIS IS FRIGGEN AMAZING!"
Snape's pale features were wide in horror, "Get off of me you little brat." He shouted trying to shake her loose.
A red haired girl screamed, "Breezy we have to find the others."
"Hang on Jo! I'm enjoying my favorite character." Breezy sang giggling at Snape's anger. Jo glared at Snape's livid face shuddering and rolled her eyes.
"Ugh! Damn Rowling!" Snape bellowed in frustration as the girl clung even tighter to him.
Harry, Ron, and Hermione froze in horror.
"Bloody hell, fan girls again!" Ron whispered his eyes large.
"I hate fan fiction." Harry moaned clutching his hair. The other girls, one blonde and another brunette, suddenly turned around facing the famous three. The fair haired girl named Ashlee elbowed the dark haired Lexi in the ribs.
"I don't believe it." She groaned looking as if she was about to cry, "OMJ I LOVE YOU RON!!!!"
Ron gulped and took off sprinting at an unusually fast pace with Ashlee in pursuit hot on his tail. Lexi bolted at Harry hugging him till his eyes were practically bulging out of his face.
"I love you, you super brave kiddo!" She screamed; Harry began to choke gasping for Hermione's help.
She just stood there terrified.
"Don't think I'd forget about you." Lexi stated reaching out for Hermione and embracing her in a tight hug. Before she could say anything Snape's yelling interrupted her. Breezy had attempted to kiss him on the cheek.
Through his rasping Harry wondered, "What does she see in him?"
"I don't know she's nuts." Lexi answered feverishly jumping up in down in excitement. Out of nowhere Ashlee ran up to Lexi holding up a pair of pink boxers with little white lambs.
"It's boxers! Now he's my kind of guy."
Lexi was flabbergasted, "Where did you get those?"
"Where do you think? Stole them right off of Ron's white buttock."
Hermione clamped a hand over her mouth to trying not to laugh as Harry just wondered how the girls had even gotten into the castle. Jo came up to them saying, “Hey where’s Neville?”
“Hospital wing, potion gone wrong.” He answered pondering whether it was a good idea or not to inform her of Neville’s location.
“Shame.” She said looking down at the floor, a depressed expression on her face.
Suddenly she perked up, “THE TWINS!”
“Not here anymore, it’s our sixth year.” Ron muttered; he was clambering up panting with a new pair of pants on. He seemed timid now being near the woman who had taken the boxers right off his arse. Ashlee squealed but Lexi held her back. They all glanced back robotically at Breezy who had some how managed to crawl up on Snape’s back and was stroking his hair stating, “Ya know, you really should try washing it.”
Snape seemed enraged and was desperately trying to find his wand. Breezy just shook her head beaming.
“Silly goose I have it right here!” She exclaimed gleefully waving it about in the air. Snape hollered, “GET OFF ME NOW YOU…”
Breezy gave him a quick peck on the cheek, hopped down and ran over to the shocked group giggling. The golden trio looked as if they were about to faint.
Yes I just did that.” She replied proud of herself for accomplishing the kiss. Snape trembled in his spot before taking off for the Headmaster’s office.
“I still have his wand.” Breezy squeaked. She appeared to suddenly grasp something.
“You have the ropes?” She asked Ashlee suddenly becoming stern.
“You really want too…”
“Yea I really want too.” Breezy snapped snatching the ropes, Jo held out some duck tape. Then Breezy went off down the corridor.
“What….” Hermione began but was cut off by Lexi.
“You’ll see.”
Jo turned around smiling at the school suddenly she reached deep into her pocket and produced a sharpie purple pen. Going over to the wall she wrote: Fangirls 4 eva. Then she drew a small Barney the dinosaur next to it.
Ashlee and Lexi seized a silly string can from their own pockets. They set about the area making as much havoc as they possibly could, letting ear-piercing screams out when any character walked by. They found Professor Flitwick and showered him in the stinky string. Then they returned to find Breezy coming back dragging behind her a big black object. She was breathing hard and looked as if she would pass out.
“He’ s heavier then he looks.” She mumbled as Snape tried to speak, only inaudible sounds escaping.
“That’s a lot of duck tape.” Lexi leaned in to inspect making sure her friend hadn’t injured the poor man.
“Well, he has a big mouth.”
What are you…?” Harry protested feeling pity for his professor.
“I’m kidnapping Severus obviously.”
Hermione gagged shuddering at the mere thought.
The girls swarmed around Harry, Ron, and Hermione, showering them with kisses and hugs. Ashlee howling, “I’ll come back for you Ronnie!”
Then in an instant they were gone, a puff of lime green smoke surrounding the area. A tiny penguin keychain lie on the floor sparkling in the light. No one ever saw the Potion’s master again.
Harry sank unto the couch nestled next to the fire in the Gryffindor common room. Rubbing his throbbing head he gazed into the fiery embers, his eyes watering with exhaustion. Ron and Hermione walked in cautiously sitting next to him.
"You okay mate?" Ron inquired staring at his grim friend.
"The extra lessons with Dumbledore make me tired, that's all." Harry admitted shrugging his shoulders.
"Why don't you get some rest?" Hermione suggested placing her hand on his shoulder.
"Not now." Harry replied glancing up and giving her a reassuring smile
"Alright, how are they going?" Judging by Hermione's tone Harry could tell she was curious.
"Fine, just Voldemort’s a lot to worry about right now." His voice was dry and he licked his chapped lips which were beginning to burn. All of a sudden high-pitched screams erupted from the corridors. Leaping up the trio ran out to see what was causing all the chaos. There were four girls running around the place screaming picking up random objects and fussing over...They couldn't believe it...Snape.
"OH MY JONAS!" A brunette girl with green eyes cried hanging on Snape's right arm, "THIS IS FRIGGEN AMAZING!"
Snape's pale features were wide in horror, "Get off of me you little brat." He shouted trying to shake her loose.
A red haired girl screamed, "Breezy we have to find the others."
"Hang on Jo! I'm enjoying my favorite character." Breezy sang giggling at Snape's anger. Jo glared at Snape's livid face shuddering and rolled her eyes.
"Ugh! Damn Rowling!" Snape bellowed in frustration as the girl clung even tighter to him.
Harry, Ron, and Hermione froze in horror.
"Bloody hell, fan girls again!" Ron whispered his eyes large.
"I hate fan fiction." Harry moaned clutching his hair. The other girls, one blonde and another brunette, suddenly turned around facing the famous three. The fair haired girl named Ashlee elbowed the dark haired Lexi in the ribs.
"I don't believe it." She groaned looking as if she was about to cry, "OMJ I LOVE YOU RON!!!!"
Ron gulped and took off sprinting at an unusually fast pace with Ashlee in pursuit hot on his tail. Lexi bolted at Harry hugging him till his eyes were practically bulging out of his face.
"I love you, you super brave kiddo!" She screamed; Harry began to choke gasping for Hermione's help.
She just stood there terrified.
"Don't think I'd forget about you." Lexi stated reaching out for Hermione and embracing her in a tight hug. Before she could say anything Snape's yelling interrupted her. Breezy had attempted to kiss him on the cheek.
Through his rasping Harry wondered, "What does she see in him?"
"I don't know she's nuts." Lexi answered feverishly jumping up in down in excitement. Out of nowhere Ashlee ran up to Lexi holding up a pair of pink boxers with little white lambs.
"It's boxers! Now he's my kind of guy."
Lexi was flabbergasted, "Where did you get those?"
"Where do you think? Stole them right off of Ron's white buttock."
Hermione clamped a hand over her mouth to trying not to laugh as Harry just wondered how the girls had even gotten into the castle. Jo came up to them saying, “Hey where’s Neville?”
“Hospital wing, potion gone wrong.” He answered pondering whether it was a good idea or not to inform her of Neville’s location.
“Shame.” She said looking down at the floor, a depressed expression on her face.
Suddenly she perked up, “THE TWINS!”
“Not here anymore, it’s our sixth year.” Ron muttered; he was clambering up panting with a new pair of pants on. He seemed timid now being near the woman who had taken the boxers right off his arse. Ashlee squealed but Lexi held her back. They all glanced back robotically at Breezy who had some how managed to crawl up on Snape’s back and was stroking his hair stating, “Ya know, you really should try washing it.”
Snape seemed enraged and was desperately trying to find his wand. Breezy just shook her head beaming.
“Silly goose I have it right here!” She exclaimed gleefully waving it about in the air. Snape hollered, “GET OFF ME NOW YOU…”
Breezy gave him a quick peck on the cheek, hopped down and ran over to the shocked group giggling. The golden trio looked as if they were about to faint.
Yes I just did that.” She replied proud of herself for accomplishing the kiss. Snape trembled in his spot before taking off for the Headmaster’s office.
“I still have his wand.” Breezy squeaked. She appeared to suddenly grasp something.
“You have the ropes?” She asked Ashlee suddenly becoming stern.
“You really want too…”
“Yea I really want too.” Breezy snapped snatching the ropes, Jo held out some duck tape. Then Breezy went off down the corridor.
“What….” Hermione began but was cut off by Lexi.
“You’ll see.”
Jo turned around smiling at the school suddenly she reached deep into her pocket and produced a sharpie purple pen. Going over to the wall she wrote: Fangirls 4 eva. Then she drew a small Barney the dinosaur next to it.
Ashlee and Lexi seized a silly string can from their own pockets. They set about the area making as much havoc as they possibly could, letting ear-piercing screams out when any character walked by. They found Professor Flitwick and showered him in the stinky string. Then they returned to find Breezy coming back dragging behind her a big black object. She was breathing hard and looked as if she would pass out.
“He’ s heavier then he looks.” She mumbled as Snape tried to speak, only inaudible sounds escaping.
“That’s a lot of duck tape.” Lexi leaned in to inspect making sure her friend hadn’t injured the poor man.
“Well, he has a big mouth.”
What are you…?” Harry protested feeling pity for his professor.
“I’m kidnapping Severus obviously.”
Hermione gagged shuddering at the mere thought.
The girls swarmed around Harry, Ron, and Hermione, showering them with kisses and hugs. Ashlee howling, “I’ll come back for you Ronnie!”
Then in an instant they were gone, a puff of lime green smoke surrounding the area. A tiny penguin keychain lie on the floor sparkling in the light. No one ever saw the Potion’s master again.
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