Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Tell Me My Life
katelynn;
William walked around to the front of the bench and motioned for me to move my legs. I obliged, and he sat down beside me. He clasped his hands together and started thoughtfully at them, while I sifted through the hundreds of questions I wanted to ask him. Eventually I gave in to curiosity, and chose the most pressing question.
"William?"
"Yeah?"
I hesitated, not wanting to sound rude (or like I resented him for it). "Why? Why did you take me away from him?"
William looked up, his expression unreadable. When he answered it was slow and deliberate, as if he were speaking to a child. "He was killing you, Katelynn. He might of had you thinking otherwise, but--"
"No, I mean I get that!" I amended quickly. "Why did you even come back, though? I figured you would have gone back home. What made you... save me?" I didn't mention that I had been sure that he hated me. At the time I was feeling oddly respectful to William. He heaved a sigh, understanding what I wanted to know.
"When I said I wasn't coming back... part of me knew already that it wasn't going to happen that way. Leaving would have been all but handing your life away, either to the Sangladri or to Brendon. I lied before," he smiled bitterly. "I told you so."
I still didn't know why he cared about keeping me alive, but I put that question away for the moment.
"How is it that you knew?" I asked. "That Brendon would do something like this again? He seemed to be so controlled all the time, and then one small sentence set him off..."
"What exactly did you say to him?" William asked curiously, a hint of humor in his voice. I wondered if I should tell him. It was, after all, about him.
"That... well, you know what he said to you? Something about him not doing what you did?"
William's frame stiffened at the memory. Wow, I thought, that really must have cut him deep. I wondered what it was about, but of course I couldn't ask him that. He nodded once as an indication that I should continue.
"I could tell how much it bothered you. I told him that it was exactly like what you did to him, when you told me about, you know, why he bit me the first time and everything. I said that... my Brendon would not have done that."
William was looking at me with something like respect showing in his eyes. His rigid position had relaxed again and a small smile played on his lips. It was odd to think that I was having an actual conversation with him, for the first time.
"No wonder he got pissed," he said quietly. "Anyways, back to your question, yes?"
I blushed slightly, having forgotten that I had asked him something, and nodded.
"I guess I can't blame you, Katelynn, for not realizing the risks that your relationship presents. But I do, all too well, and so does Brendon. I have... a very good understanding of how easily and how quickly a vampire, even the strongest, can lose his control. Sometimes it... it can't be helped.” William paused for a second, his eyes closed as if remembering something. Then, he went on. “Brendon is very strong around you. It amazes me, and impresses me. But still, you can't comprehend how much danger you're in.”
I thought that through, eventually piecing two and two together: “I would never do what you did, William. I'll never hurt Katelynn like that!" William understood so well because it had happened to him. That explained his attitude toward my relationship with his best friend, at least. I wanted to know if I was right. I approached the question cautiously, determined to give him a chance to refuse me if he wanted to.
"When Brendon said... what he said-- did that have anything to do with how you understand so well? And," I added as an afterthought, my hand rising automatically to the stinging gash that now extended from my hairline to my jaw, "I think I know some of the risks now."
William, who had resumed the staring at his hands, now turned to face me. His eyes traveled from mine, to where my hand was, and back. "I'll fix that for you if you want, and then we'll talk. I guess this time I can't really deny you an explanation. Deal?"
Fix it? Oh! I remembered suddenly what Brendon had said about vampires being able to heal wounds. But the cut was still bleeding... Did I want William's teeth that close to my skin right then? After all, I still wasn't sure that he liked me very much, even though I thought I knew why.
"I--uhm. You dont... it's really--"
"You're afraid of me hurting you. I think we've already determined that I have no intentions of letting you die, Katelynn. The longer we wait, the longer it will take to heal, is all."
It was then that I understood what he was offering-- a truce. His expression and his words were not those of hatred, as they had been before. Slowly, I nodded.
"Okay. If you don't mind doing it, I guess."
"Not at all." His cold hand came toward my face slowly, then drew it forward. I tried my best to relax and convince myself that William would not harm me, despite the fact that I was still scared of him.
Once his cold tongue pressed against my burning skin, though, it was easy to relax. The stinging stopped instantly and was replaced with a numb feeling. He drew back and I brought my hand back to my face, feeling nothing but smooth skin. I smiled.
"Thanks!"
"Sure. Now, I guess you want some answers. For starters, that is how I knew Brendon would do this. It's why I've tried to keep him away from you, and why I've developed a sort of... well, distaste for you, honestly." He glanced to the side, and I did the same, noticing that the sun was starting to come up. I could see now that we were at some kind of park. There was a dirt path in front of us, encircling a large grassy area that was lined with trees. I looked back at William to find him staring at me.
"I'll try to finish quickly, so that I can go look for Brendon as soon as it's light outside. I'd go now, but I'm not all too comfortable leaving you alone at night." I nodded and he continued, running his fingers once through his wavy brown hair. "Has Brendon told you about how out kind come into being? How some are made, some are born?"
"Yeah. He said that you were born a vampire, right?"
"Partly right, yes. I believe I mentioned once,” he looked up at me almost apologetically at the recount, “that a vampire and a human cannot have a child. But two vampires can, and it's a very... odd occurrence. I was born to two vampire parents, but technically I was human. I had a heartbeat, and I was warm. I grew. Up until I was eighteen I could grow like a normal human, and then it stopped once I was an adult. Up until then, I ate human food only. I never had a taste for blood before then. Following?"
"I think so."
"Good. Well, when I was seventeen I fell very much in love with a girl. She was beautiful. A year younger than me, but at that time a year meant nothing. I sought her hand in marriage, and was successful. Obviously she knew all about what I was, and what I would become. But we thought we could overcome it."
William's face grew sad, his back slouching a bit. I wanted to comfort him, but wasn't sure how. So I stayed silent.
"Yes, and when the change did happen, I was pleasantly surprised to feel absolutely no different. I mean, I was cold. My appetite changed of course, and on occasion I had to go hunt with my parents. But I never wanted to hurt my Harper. The thought never crossed my mind. Until one day, about two years later, when we were... together. I felt so human when I was with her! Much like Brendon feels with you, I assume. It was as if the change had not even happened. But yes, we were together one evening. And I mean to... to kiss her, I guess. My teeth touched her neck softly, like when I was human, but then it just happened." He paused, realizing that his voice had been dropping to a whisper. I hadn't noticed myself, as I was struck dumb with sympathy and respect for William. "I bit her. I drank all of her blood, because I simply couldn't stop myself, and I changed her into one of us. There was no one there to stop me, like I did for Brendon. And I felt so torn up by what I did to her! So I-- I killed her. She had been looking at it as... well, we would spend forever together. Forever. But I killed her."
I was in shock. No wonder William disliked me being with Brendon so much! I felt tears start to come to my eyes, and William took notice. He nodded slowly.
“If I could cry, I very much doubt I ever would have stopped. Do you see now, though, why I've done all of this? Why I've tried to keep you away from him? Brendon... Brendon loves you very much, Katelynn. He has since before you actually met him. That's why all of this happened, why he got so carried away the first time he saw you. It was, more or less, love at first sight for him. Like... I dont know, like you were made for him. Or he was preserved for you-- either way. If he hurts you, kills you I mean, it would kill him as well. I can't watch my best friend suffer the way I did, Katelynn.”
I wiped my eyes slowly, trying to find words to say. On one hand, I finally saw it from William point of view. In his eyes, I was killing Brendon. I shuddered at the thought. On the other hand, though, I could not stay away from Brendon, for any reason. It was impossible. The separation, at that point, would have taken both our lives just as easily.
“William,” I began shakily. “I—I had no idea. And I wish... that I could stay away from him, for you. But I can't. I just can't do that.”
William's eyes narrowed as he searched my face. “He's tried to rape you and kill you twice now, and you still intend to go back to him? You know, the scar is still on your cheek. I can't make that go away.”
“I have to go back to him, William. Just like how you had to stay with Harper. It's... necessary.”
“How,” he said with a slight smile now, “can I argue with that? You'd risk dying, and destroying Brendon, just to be with him now. He must be... everything, to you.”
I nodded. “He is.”
Then, William sighed, stretching his legs out in front of him and crossing his arms behind his head. “I guess I know what you mean. You know, to this day I haven't decided if I regret killing her or not. I love her, still so much, and miss her every single day. Wherever she is, she must hate me. But I know she's happy now. Happier than she would have been if she were damned in this life... But anyways, there's more to the story. It's got a sort of nice ending, if you want to hear it?”
“I'd like to,” I said quietly. A nice ending was what William's story deserved, I thought.
“Alright. Well, obviously I was depressed for a long time after it happened. I was only a very new vampire, but I already had the most outstanding control over my blood lust. After Harper, I swore that I would never harm another innocent human again. I quit going to feed. My willpower was strong, but my body was growing weaker by the second.”
This was the happy ending? Silently I hoped that it would get better.
“My parents took notice. They were worried about me, so they found me a... well, a friend. Another young vampire that they'd met on their travels who seemed to share the same compassion for human life. Brendon,” he smiled, looking up at me, “and I were automatically best friends. We shared the same ideas, the same thoughts. He introduced me to our current method of feeding-- the harmlessly small drink that a human doesn't even notice-- and got me strong again. One day I had the idea to... create a sort of group. We could find more like ourselves, who wished to protect human life rather than take it as his own. Thus, the Dandies were formed.”
His tone had turned light, and I felt myself smiling with him.
“That is a nice ending. I'm... really glad!” We both laughed at this.
“As am I, Katelynn. And speaking of Brendon, I think it's about time I went to find him. I'll bet he's a wreck of guilt right now, there's no telling where he's run to.”
------------------------
“I'll be back as soon as I find him, Katelynn. You'll be fine here, yeah?”
“Yeah. I hope you find him soon, though.” I had to admit, I'd been hopeful that Brendon would still be in the hotel room when we got back. He wasn't, though, so William was going to go look for him. I was worried about him.
“I'm sure I will, he wouldn't have gone very far. Please don't go anywhere, though. Don't open the door until I get back. Then we can... sort all this out. I'll give you and Bren a chance to talk about everything.”
“Thanks a lot, William. For... all of this.”
He surprised me by reaching his hand out to touch my arm lightly. I never imagined that William and I could be friends; it was so strange to me!
“You're welcome. We'll be back in a couple hours.”
And with that, he left, locking the door on his way out. I turned a stared around the room, realizing how different it looked from the last time I'd seen it. The mess that must have been made was completely gone, there was no broken furniture, not a thing out of place. The sun was streaming in through the window brilliantly. It looked very calm and relaxed, much like I felt at the moment.
I wandered over the bed and laid down on my back, wondering if this would ever work out. Maybe, I thought, when all the trouble with the Sangladri was over, Brendon and I could be a normal couple. I smiled to myself-- normal, as in a human and a vampire in love. That's what normal meant to me anymore. Brendon and I could be normal, and we could move back into his house together. I could tell my parents that I'd run away with him because I loved him, and that now I was going to live with him forever. Love, I thought happily. It felt so good to finally use that word, even though I'd known it for quite some time. I'd have to tell Brendon that I love him as soon as William brings him back...
“Katelynn?” Someone knocked on the door twice, startling me. “Katelynn, I left something here, can you open the door?” William's voice asked loudly. I gave one last contented sigh and rolled off the bed, going to open the door for William.
-------------
WHEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
go billiam!
read and review and rate and RELAX.
xoxoxo erin
ps. the line that's bolded is what i wrote first. i mean, before chapter one and everything, hahaha. it's got a special place in my heart(:
William walked around to the front of the bench and motioned for me to move my legs. I obliged, and he sat down beside me. He clasped his hands together and started thoughtfully at them, while I sifted through the hundreds of questions I wanted to ask him. Eventually I gave in to curiosity, and chose the most pressing question.
"William?"
"Yeah?"
I hesitated, not wanting to sound rude (or like I resented him for it). "Why? Why did you take me away from him?"
William looked up, his expression unreadable. When he answered it was slow and deliberate, as if he were speaking to a child. "He was killing you, Katelynn. He might of had you thinking otherwise, but--"
"No, I mean I get that!" I amended quickly. "Why did you even come back, though? I figured you would have gone back home. What made you... save me?" I didn't mention that I had been sure that he hated me. At the time I was feeling oddly respectful to William. He heaved a sigh, understanding what I wanted to know.
"When I said I wasn't coming back... part of me knew already that it wasn't going to happen that way. Leaving would have been all but handing your life away, either to the Sangladri or to Brendon. I lied before," he smiled bitterly. "I told you so."
I still didn't know why he cared about keeping me alive, but I put that question away for the moment.
"How is it that you knew?" I asked. "That Brendon would do something like this again? He seemed to be so controlled all the time, and then one small sentence set him off..."
"What exactly did you say to him?" William asked curiously, a hint of humor in his voice. I wondered if I should tell him. It was, after all, about him.
"That... well, you know what he said to you? Something about him not doing what you did?"
William's frame stiffened at the memory. Wow, I thought, that really must have cut him deep. I wondered what it was about, but of course I couldn't ask him that. He nodded once as an indication that I should continue.
"I could tell how much it bothered you. I told him that it was exactly like what you did to him, when you told me about, you know, why he bit me the first time and everything. I said that... my Brendon would not have done that."
William was looking at me with something like respect showing in his eyes. His rigid position had relaxed again and a small smile played on his lips. It was odd to think that I was having an actual conversation with him, for the first time.
"No wonder he got pissed," he said quietly. "Anyways, back to your question, yes?"
I blushed slightly, having forgotten that I had asked him something, and nodded.
"I guess I can't blame you, Katelynn, for not realizing the risks that your relationship presents. But I do, all too well, and so does Brendon. I have... a very good understanding of how easily and how quickly a vampire, even the strongest, can lose his control. Sometimes it... it can't be helped.” William paused for a second, his eyes closed as if remembering something. Then, he went on. “Brendon is very strong around you. It amazes me, and impresses me. But still, you can't comprehend how much danger you're in.”
I thought that through, eventually piecing two and two together: “I would never do what you did, William. I'll never hurt Katelynn like that!" William understood so well because it had happened to him. That explained his attitude toward my relationship with his best friend, at least. I wanted to know if I was right. I approached the question cautiously, determined to give him a chance to refuse me if he wanted to.
"When Brendon said... what he said-- did that have anything to do with how you understand so well? And," I added as an afterthought, my hand rising automatically to the stinging gash that now extended from my hairline to my jaw, "I think I know some of the risks now."
William, who had resumed the staring at his hands, now turned to face me. His eyes traveled from mine, to where my hand was, and back. "I'll fix that for you if you want, and then we'll talk. I guess this time I can't really deny you an explanation. Deal?"
Fix it? Oh! I remembered suddenly what Brendon had said about vampires being able to heal wounds. But the cut was still bleeding... Did I want William's teeth that close to my skin right then? After all, I still wasn't sure that he liked me very much, even though I thought I knew why.
"I--uhm. You dont... it's really--"
"You're afraid of me hurting you. I think we've already determined that I have no intentions of letting you die, Katelynn. The longer we wait, the longer it will take to heal, is all."
It was then that I understood what he was offering-- a truce. His expression and his words were not those of hatred, as they had been before. Slowly, I nodded.
"Okay. If you don't mind doing it, I guess."
"Not at all." His cold hand came toward my face slowly, then drew it forward. I tried my best to relax and convince myself that William would not harm me, despite the fact that I was still scared of him.
Once his cold tongue pressed against my burning skin, though, it was easy to relax. The stinging stopped instantly and was replaced with a numb feeling. He drew back and I brought my hand back to my face, feeling nothing but smooth skin. I smiled.
"Thanks!"
"Sure. Now, I guess you want some answers. For starters, that is how I knew Brendon would do this. It's why I've tried to keep him away from you, and why I've developed a sort of... well, distaste for you, honestly." He glanced to the side, and I did the same, noticing that the sun was starting to come up. I could see now that we were at some kind of park. There was a dirt path in front of us, encircling a large grassy area that was lined with trees. I looked back at William to find him staring at me.
"I'll try to finish quickly, so that I can go look for Brendon as soon as it's light outside. I'd go now, but I'm not all too comfortable leaving you alone at night." I nodded and he continued, running his fingers once through his wavy brown hair. "Has Brendon told you about how out kind come into being? How some are made, some are born?"
"Yeah. He said that you were born a vampire, right?"
"Partly right, yes. I believe I mentioned once,” he looked up at me almost apologetically at the recount, “that a vampire and a human cannot have a child. But two vampires can, and it's a very... odd occurrence. I was born to two vampire parents, but technically I was human. I had a heartbeat, and I was warm. I grew. Up until I was eighteen I could grow like a normal human, and then it stopped once I was an adult. Up until then, I ate human food only. I never had a taste for blood before then. Following?"
"I think so."
"Good. Well, when I was seventeen I fell very much in love with a girl. She was beautiful. A year younger than me, but at that time a year meant nothing. I sought her hand in marriage, and was successful. Obviously she knew all about what I was, and what I would become. But we thought we could overcome it."
William's face grew sad, his back slouching a bit. I wanted to comfort him, but wasn't sure how. So I stayed silent.
"Yes, and when the change did happen, I was pleasantly surprised to feel absolutely no different. I mean, I was cold. My appetite changed of course, and on occasion I had to go hunt with my parents. But I never wanted to hurt my Harper. The thought never crossed my mind. Until one day, about two years later, when we were... together. I felt so human when I was with her! Much like Brendon feels with you, I assume. It was as if the change had not even happened. But yes, we were together one evening. And I mean to... to kiss her, I guess. My teeth touched her neck softly, like when I was human, but then it just happened." He paused, realizing that his voice had been dropping to a whisper. I hadn't noticed myself, as I was struck dumb with sympathy and respect for William. "I bit her. I drank all of her blood, because I simply couldn't stop myself, and I changed her into one of us. There was no one there to stop me, like I did for Brendon. And I felt so torn up by what I did to her! So I-- I killed her. She had been looking at it as... well, we would spend forever together. Forever. But I killed her."
I was in shock. No wonder William disliked me being with Brendon so much! I felt tears start to come to my eyes, and William took notice. He nodded slowly.
“If I could cry, I very much doubt I ever would have stopped. Do you see now, though, why I've done all of this? Why I've tried to keep you away from him? Brendon... Brendon loves you very much, Katelynn. He has since before you actually met him. That's why all of this happened, why he got so carried away the first time he saw you. It was, more or less, love at first sight for him. Like... I dont know, like you were made for him. Or he was preserved for you-- either way. If he hurts you, kills you I mean, it would kill him as well. I can't watch my best friend suffer the way I did, Katelynn.”
I wiped my eyes slowly, trying to find words to say. On one hand, I finally saw it from William point of view. In his eyes, I was killing Brendon. I shuddered at the thought. On the other hand, though, I could not stay away from Brendon, for any reason. It was impossible. The separation, at that point, would have taken both our lives just as easily.
“William,” I began shakily. “I—I had no idea. And I wish... that I could stay away from him, for you. But I can't. I just can't do that.”
William's eyes narrowed as he searched my face. “He's tried to rape you and kill you twice now, and you still intend to go back to him? You know, the scar is still on your cheek. I can't make that go away.”
“I have to go back to him, William. Just like how you had to stay with Harper. It's... necessary.”
“How,” he said with a slight smile now, “can I argue with that? You'd risk dying, and destroying Brendon, just to be with him now. He must be... everything, to you.”
I nodded. “He is.”
Then, William sighed, stretching his legs out in front of him and crossing his arms behind his head. “I guess I know what you mean. You know, to this day I haven't decided if I regret killing her or not. I love her, still so much, and miss her every single day. Wherever she is, she must hate me. But I know she's happy now. Happier than she would have been if she were damned in this life... But anyways, there's more to the story. It's got a sort of nice ending, if you want to hear it?”
“I'd like to,” I said quietly. A nice ending was what William's story deserved, I thought.
“Alright. Well, obviously I was depressed for a long time after it happened. I was only a very new vampire, but I already had the most outstanding control over my blood lust. After Harper, I swore that I would never harm another innocent human again. I quit going to feed. My willpower was strong, but my body was growing weaker by the second.”
This was the happy ending? Silently I hoped that it would get better.
“My parents took notice. They were worried about me, so they found me a... well, a friend. Another young vampire that they'd met on their travels who seemed to share the same compassion for human life. Brendon,” he smiled, looking up at me, “and I were automatically best friends. We shared the same ideas, the same thoughts. He introduced me to our current method of feeding-- the harmlessly small drink that a human doesn't even notice-- and got me strong again. One day I had the idea to... create a sort of group. We could find more like ourselves, who wished to protect human life rather than take it as his own. Thus, the Dandies were formed.”
His tone had turned light, and I felt myself smiling with him.
“That is a nice ending. I'm... really glad!” We both laughed at this.
“As am I, Katelynn. And speaking of Brendon, I think it's about time I went to find him. I'll bet he's a wreck of guilt right now, there's no telling where he's run to.”
------------------------
“I'll be back as soon as I find him, Katelynn. You'll be fine here, yeah?”
“Yeah. I hope you find him soon, though.” I had to admit, I'd been hopeful that Brendon would still be in the hotel room when we got back. He wasn't, though, so William was going to go look for him. I was worried about him.
“I'm sure I will, he wouldn't have gone very far. Please don't go anywhere, though. Don't open the door until I get back. Then we can... sort all this out. I'll give you and Bren a chance to talk about everything.”
“Thanks a lot, William. For... all of this.”
He surprised me by reaching his hand out to touch my arm lightly. I never imagined that William and I could be friends; it was so strange to me!
“You're welcome. We'll be back in a couple hours.”
And with that, he left, locking the door on his way out. I turned a stared around the room, realizing how different it looked from the last time I'd seen it. The mess that must have been made was completely gone, there was no broken furniture, not a thing out of place. The sun was streaming in through the window brilliantly. It looked very calm and relaxed, much like I felt at the moment.
I wandered over the bed and laid down on my back, wondering if this would ever work out. Maybe, I thought, when all the trouble with the Sangladri was over, Brendon and I could be a normal couple. I smiled to myself-- normal, as in a human and a vampire in love. That's what normal meant to me anymore. Brendon and I could be normal, and we could move back into his house together. I could tell my parents that I'd run away with him because I loved him, and that now I was going to live with him forever. Love, I thought happily. It felt so good to finally use that word, even though I'd known it for quite some time. I'd have to tell Brendon that I love him as soon as William brings him back...
“Katelynn?” Someone knocked on the door twice, startling me. “Katelynn, I left something here, can you open the door?” William's voice asked loudly. I gave one last contented sigh and rolled off the bed, going to open the door for William.
-------------
WHEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
go billiam!
read and review and rate and RELAX.
xoxoxo erin
ps. the line that's bolded is what i wrote first. i mean, before chapter one and everything, hahaha. it's got a special place in my heart(:
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