Categories > Books > Harry Potter
Ignore this story. This is only here so they can't claim ninja editing.
4Original
Reviews
Crap-tacular rough draft for DLP people to laugh at.
(#) siaru 2009-01-25
No I won't ignore it, because it's interesting.
That hit on LV was awfully easy. LV was amped up for battle, and had a number self-improvement rituals under his belt -- I would have expected either more Shock & Awe or a more protracted battle.
I don't see Evil yet. Dark != Evil just as Light != Good (APWBD, case in point).
Those DE's are going to expect a Purebloods-uber-alles leader, else they'll rebel/betray. Is that where the Evil comes in?
No ninja editing here. Did you think of LV as Orochimaru by mistake at some point?
Keep 'er comin'.Author's response
You're not the first to notice this, and I probably could have done it better. I might come back and re-write it this summer, since I'll have time. He did, however, have the high ground, surprise, and about forty years of experience on him.
That's kinda the point. I'm trying to challenge the definition of "dark."
The DE's are supposed to fear Harry and then get caught up in his charisma. That happens irl, so I thought it could happen in the HP universe, especially since people there seem to be sheep.
Harry later on (I've never continued posting here because I forgot about my account and there are about three reviews that seem to have come out of the wood work today) goes out of his way to reward good service and added a compulsion to his mark anyway.
I don't watch or read Naruto, so Orochimaru means pretty much nothing to me and ninja editing ain't my style.Crap-tacular rough draft for DLP people to laugh at.
(#) bruceman 2009-01-25
interesting . since HP is 81 at the time it makes him older then LV at 54 . LV was supposed to be ambushing 2 people who had every reason to think themselves safe .Author's response
Thank you. :) Harry's actually a hundred and we never knew how many (in canon) accompanied Voldemort to the Potters' so I ran with it.Crap-tacular rough draft for DLP people to laugh at.
(#) biged78 2009-01-26
Interesting start. Await the next installment.
Crap-tacular rough draft for DLP people to laugh at.
(#) twilliams1797 2009-01-26
not bad at all. don't let those meanies at DLP hurt your widdle feelings.
if you do continue this I will watch with interest.Author's response
Thank you and eh. I have continued it, up to chapter twelve now, and I think I'll post the rest here. I had forgotten I had an account at all, lol.Crap-tacular rough draft for DLP people to laugh at.
(#) LabRat 2009-02-03
The hell with the warning, this was nice. I most definitely like where this is going, because it has a bit of humor too. I'd like to disagree with Siaru on the Voldemort being amped for battle thing. The Potters had no idea he was even there until he blew the door off the hinges, so I doubt he was expecting a battle, just a simple hit and run. Besides, no one but him knew about the attack, so he wouldn't have been all that aware of someone waiting to ambush him. He got caught by surprise, and that was all it took.Author's response
Well thank you! I've had about five reviews come out of the wood work today, so I'm sorry I've taken so long to respond. I'm up to chapter twelve now and I think I'll post the rest here, now that I remember I have an account here!
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