FicWad

Ch.2--- Denial and Desperation

I stood on the pathway and stared for a moment, trying to gather the willpower to actually approach him. Gerard sat underneath a tall willow tree next to the pond on the school grounds; the shadow of the long branches cast over him. His skin is extremely pale and his jet black hair is rather long; feminine almost. His sketchbook sat in his lap, held by one hand while the other carefully dragged his graphite pencil across the page. After taking a deep breath and convincing my stomach to stay inside of me, I left the paved path to cross the carefully cut grass to get to him.

"H-hello." I said apprehensively as I approached. I didn't know what to say to him. I'm amazed that no one decided to venture out here with me. Pete went off with Patrick, Brendon took off with Ryan, and I think Bob decided to make it his mission to befriend Ray or Mikey. So, I'm all alone with the school freak.

Gerard looked up from his sketchbook, his eyes scanning over me then returning to the drawing he was working on. "Hello." He replied blankly as he resumed his sketching.

"Can I, uh, sit by you?" I asked, playing nervously with my hands. He's below me; and I'm not stuck up or anything. But in the world of social importance, aka high school, you stay within your limits or you fall to the bottom. Talking to Gerard would instantly take me from the top and plummet me to the bottom.

"It's a free country." Gerard said with absolutely no emotion. I stared at him for a moment then sat down in the soft grass near him; still maintaining my distance. "Is there a particular reason you're here?" He asked without removing his eyes from his paper or stopping his drawing.

"Can't I just enjoy the scenery?" I asked a little harshly because he was already annoying me. Why can't he look at me when he talks? Where the fuck is the emotion that belongs in his voice?

"Well someone of your high social status would be crushed seen conversing with someone as low in the chain as myself thus you must have a motive for forcing yourself over here and making small talk; more than likely because you seek something from me." Gerard said calmly and smoothly. I stared at him. He was like some shrink or something.

"Or I thought you looked lonely." I tried to defend myself. I had to make him fall for me; and I was losing. This damn dare was going to get the best of me; if it doesn't kill me in the process.

"I sit out here almost every day." Gerard's eyes left his sketchbook and happened to rest upon my face again. He looked emotionless; no joy, anger, confusion; nothing. "Not once has anyone ever come to talk to me except my brother and sometimes Ray." His eyes remained glued to me; still showing no feeling. "I've seen you with your popular group pass by here quite often and not once have you even glanced in my general direction. So the fact that you're sitting here right now means that you were indeed seeking me out for some purpose that I would greatly appreciate you sharing with me because I'm trying to draw and greatly dislike distractions; which you are Mr. Iero." I was almost speechless. He's got absolutely no emotion.

"My name is Frank." I said for lack of something else to say.

"Well Frank, why are you here?" Gerard asked in a more condensed version of everything that he just spewed out at me.

"Will you go to the Valentines dance with me?" I asked suddenly; not really thinking about it.

"No." He replied as though it was nothing, lowering his eyes back to his sketchbook. I was stunned. Not once have I ever been turned down. People pretty much ask me these things. I'm the best guy in this damn school; everyone wants to be me. Everyone wants to have me! Here I am trying to be kind by giving this virgin freak a nice night and he refuses as though I asked him if he knew the time or something! This is absolutely unacceptable! "Now if that's all you wanted, I would appreciate you removing yourself so I can get back into focus and complete my drawing."

"Why won't you go with me?" I asked; demanded actually.

"Because you're not my type." Gerard said as his pencil began to scratch against the paper again.

"How the fuck do you have a type?!" I shot at him before I had time to realize what was coming out of my mouth. That was really harsh and I greatly regretted it but there was no undoing it. "Anything living should be your type!"

"Mr. Iero I am quite uncomfortable with this conversation and would like for you to dismiss yourself from my presence because my drawing is far more important than you at this current point in time seeing as I care about it." My mouth was now hanging open slightly as I stared at him in complete shock. I couldn't believe the way this guy was talking to me! No wonder he's still a virgin; he's an asshole.

"Are you always this fucking rude?" I asked him bitterly and again Gerard looked up from his drawing; a look of almost sympathy floating in his eyes. No, pity.

"I am to people that take interest in me because of a dare or a bet that was made for a few laughs." Gerard told me blankly again and I suddenly felt bad. He knew to some extent. But then again, he's been right all along. People in my standing just don't talk to people in his. "So I'll politely ask you again to remove yourself or at least refrain from talking so I can get back to my work."

"What if I actually do like you?" I asked, determined to get him to the fucking dance; one way or another. Hell, I drag his ass there if I have to. I refuse to let Patrick have the last laugh. I will get Gerard Way to be my date.

"What color are my eyes?" Gerard asked while continuing to draw.

"Um...I don't know..."

"You don't like me." Gerard shifted himself a little then set his pencil down on his bag, picking up a new one.

"What do your eyes have to do with it?" I asked in confusion.

"If you liked me you would make it a point to take interest in every feature on my body; mainly my eyes. The face is one of the most memorable features on a human body and usually the most described when someone is talking about said person." Gerard suddenly shoved all his pencils into his bag and closed his sketchbook. "You would know the color of my eyes and probably have at least ten descriptive words to accompany your answer." He put his sketchbook into his bag and stood up. "I hope you found our conversation to be of help to you in your dilemma." Gerard told me as he slid the strap of his bag over his body. "By the way," He looked directly at me, "My eyes are hazel. Though I would have accepted green because sometimes they tend to change a little." He smiled at me; the only form of emotion I've seen him convey. "Good day Mr. Iero." Gerard said as he turned and headed off towards the dorms. I remained on the ground, trying to comprehend exactly what just happened.

This was going to take a lot of work.

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"How'd it go?" Pete asked excitingly as I pushed open the door of the dorm. "Is he a freak? Did you have to dumb everything down for him? Did you ask him?" He bounced a little on the bed and I walked towards mine, still replaying my conversation with Gerard over in my head.

"He's incredibly smart. Like, shrink smart." I said quietly as I continued to analyze the words he gave to me. "And he denied me the dance. Said that he doesn't take interest in people that only talk to him for dare or bet purposes."

"Damn." Pete's voice suddenly lost excitement as he shared my shock and confusion. "He is smart." He got off the bed and came to sit next to me on my bed. "What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to try harder." I said with a slight sigh.

"That's the spirit!" Pete's voice picked up again and he pulled me into his attempt at a side hug. "Teach that bastard that you don't deny Frank Iero and get away with it!" I couldn't help but smile. He can be obnoxious and annoying, but Pete really is a good friend; a best friend. He always manages to make me smile. "So how are you going to do it?"

"Force myself to take actual interest." I said with a little shame; falling backwards and staring at my ceiling. "I'll learn what he likes and manage to convince him that I share his interests. I'll talk to him and if I can, I'll get him to talk to all of you."

"Um, ew, no." Pete said as he fell down beside me.

"If I have to do it, so do you. Don't like it, kill your boyfriend. It's his fault I'm doing this." I told Pete as I thought about ways to get Gerard to take some sort of interest in me. This is why I don't flirt; it's too much hassle. "Do you know anything about him?"

"Um...he likes to draw..." Pete said and I whined to myself. I already knew that. "He reads comics sometimes...Oh! I see him drink coffee like constantly!" Pete suddenly burst. That was helpful because I didn't know that. "I'm amazed he isn't more wired. He's all quiet and everything."

"I'm sure he gets it every day then." I said with a smile to myself. I would win him over with coffee. "Thanks Pete." I sat up on my bed, Pete slowly sitting up after me. "I'll get up early tomorrow and go to the cafeteria. Maybe he'll be there."

"Ha." Pete said with a large grin. "You get up early? That'll never happen." Pete told me and I stuck my tongue out at him while playfully shoving him.

"I can totally get up early!" I told Pete who just laughed harder. "I just chose not to!"

"Yeah, ok, whatever." Pete held his sides as he got off my bed and walked back to his. He threw his bag over his shoulder and put his shoes on. "I'm going to Patrick's room." Pete told me as he walked towards the door. "Probably won't be back." He said with a smirk.

"Fuck him good." I told Pete as I took my shoes off and set my alarm clock. I honestly didn't even know my clock had an alarm. Usually my morning consists of yelling from Brendon and Patrick as they both attempt to get myself and Pete from our beds. We're not really morning people.

"I won't let you down." Pete said with amusement as he opened the door. "I'll see you when your lazy ass hauls it up." He said before pulling the door shut and leaving me all alone. I laughed some then decided since I was alone I would play Pansy for a bit. Pete plays guitar too but for some reason hates when I play Pansy and he's around. I think he's jealous. I'm obviously better than him; but I've been doing it longer.

After a few hours of creating new riffs and attempting songs, I put Pansy back on her stand and decided if I was going to get up early, I should go to bed early. Don't believe that bullshit logic. It really doesn't make a difference. I still had problems getting up the next morning.

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By the time I got annoyed enough with my alarm, it was seven. The cafeteria has been opened for a half hour. I don't even know if Gerard will be there; but he has to get coffee from somewhere. Our dorms only have mini fridges for drinks. Coffee is nasty cold (in my opinion at least).

So I managed to get myself out of bed and dressed; combing my hair a million times and brushing my teeth at least three times. I have a lot of convincing to do so I have to look my best to lure Gerard in. I grabbed my bag and swung it over my shoulder, still fighting traces of sleep out of my system as I left my room and headed towards the grand hall where the cafeteria was.

The sun was barely up and it was really cold so I pulled my hood over my head then shoved my hands into the pockets of my hoodie; playing some with my lip ring as I walked towards the building. There were a few kids scattered across the grounds as they headed from one building to another or the small group doing yoga. All the lesbians seemed to be enjoying the early morning while us lazy gays slept until we were forced up and dragged from bed. But while I don't know how the girls dorm works, I happen to know that the boys doesn't attempt sleep until at least eleven because of the sexual tension that often needs to be released.

I pulled the door open and the smell of breakfast hit me; making me nauseous. I could still taste the minty toothpaste I scrubbed my teeth thoroughly with but the atmosphere was considerably warmer than that of the outside. Not many kids sat in the dining room but to my relief, Gerard was one of them. He sat in the far corner of a booth; drawing. It's like all he does. Does he even sleep?

Deciding against a drink or food due to my very minty mouth, I took a deep breath again and shoved the hood off my head as I weaved in and out of the round tables towards the one by the window where Gerard sat. It was on the lower level and only had two chairs at it. He no doubt wanted privacy. I had limited amount of time to make him go to the dance with me. "Fancy seeing you here." I said as I approached; more confident in speaking to him this time.

"You're back to antagonize me." Gerard said without removing his eyes from his paper. I wasn't all that surprised. "I forgot to ask yesterday;" Gerard lifted his head and looked to me with a little curiosity. Emotion; we were making progress. "How did you get my cell number?"

"Connections." I said with a smile. "May I join you?"

"Seeing as you won't go away even if I refuse," He looked back to his sketchbook, "Be my guest." I pulled the chair opposite of him away from the table and gently lowered myself down. I had to look graceful to get him to fall for me. "To what do I owe your distracting presence this morning?"

"Why am I that distracting?" I inquired as I folded my hands on the table and watched him draw.

"If you were trying to focus on something you would want complete silence so you could work properly." Gerard said.

"Then I'll be quiet." I replied with a smile, following the tip of his pencil with my eyes. I didn't even know I could be this quiet. Maybe I'm not so bad with this flirting thing after all. It lasted for a good five or so minutes before Gerard sighed heavily and stopped drawing.

"See, knowing that you're watching me is bothering me as well." Gerard told me as he set the sketchbook on the table and picked up his (I'm assuming) cup of coffee.

"The eyes are drawn to beauty." I said with a smile and Gerard's eyes, holding strong amounts of beauty, met mine again as his hand slowly lowered the cup to the table.

"I didn't know that my pencil was that intriguing." Gerard replied and I noticed some apprehension in his voice as though he couldn't find a strong response. I only smiled more. I'm winning.

"It's not the pencil that caught my attention." I said softly. "I'm not entirely sure what captivating feature it was actually." Gerard continued to stare with confusion. "Perhaps it was the stunning snowy skin that blankets your frail curved frame or the shiny strands of jet black hair that call to me will eloquence as they try to steal my breath away." Ok, I honestly have no idea where that all came from. All I know is Gerard's face started to obtain this pinkish color; he was blushing. I was totally winning.

"Um...thanks?" Gerard said, highly embarrassed by my words. A small, sincere smile even escaped his hard exterior. "I think..."

"What's to question in a compliment?" I asked, tilting my head to the side a little. "A compliment is a gesture from one person to another on something they find intriguing, unique, and captivating." Gerard's eyes fell back onto his drawing as though he suddenly became very shy. "My complimenting your beauty is nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about but rather embraced and welcomed."

"Why are you doing this?" Gerard suddenly asked me and I swear he almost sounded pained. "Why are you wasting your time talking to me?"

"Who said it was wasting?" I asked him, still smiling.

"You're at the top of the social ladder; the most popular kid in this joint." Gerard told me as his hand played with the cup of coffee next to him. "I've been ignored by everyone my entire time at this place. Why are you suddenly talking to me when you've expressed no interest in anyone that's not highly known throughout the school before?" His eyebrows were pushed together in confusion and pain. Something bad must have happened to him; like traumatic bad.

"It's never too late for change." I told Gerard quietly. "Maybe I'm ashamed with how I've treated people or maybe I feel bad for you because you look alone all the time or maybe it's because I do indeed like you." I did feel a little of each of those. I do feel bad at how I treat people sometimes; when the popularity takes over I become a bit harsh. I do feel bad that he's alone all the time because freak or not, no one deserves to be all alone. And I do kind of like him; he's fun to talk to.

"Don't feel bad for me." Gerard said a little bitterly. "I'm not some fucking charity case or something. I don't need anyone's pity or regret or-"

"Love?" I questioned and Gerard instantly looked up at me again. "Did something bad happen to you?" I asked carefully because even if he wouldn't admit it, I could tell something did happen. Gerard stood up and grabbed his sketchbook; picking up his coffee and throwing his bag over his body.

"Leave me alone." Gerard said coldly to me. "Stop fucking forcing yourself to do shit with me because someone put you up to it. You can have anyone you want," Gerard's eyes kind of burned into me, "But you'll never have me." He turned and left the cafeteria in a hurried manor and I sighed heavily; slumping down in the chair.

This was going to take everything I had in me.