FicWad

Chapter 4

When Monday morning rolled around, Rachel really contemplated staying home. Her mother had told that she could, but that she thought it was just best for her to get it over with. So, that in mind, she went to school and tried not to think of her last class. When lunch time came around, Andrew and Margot were watching her closely, but didn’t comment at first. She knew that it had been bad form to cancel on them at the last minute, but she just needed the time alone with her mom, chick flicks, and comfort food. She was trying not to make such a big deal out of it, they’d only had two interlude’s together, but it was still difficult. He’d been her first and he’d ruined it for her. She’d been crushing on him forever and he’d said some amazing things to her. When they couldn’t take it anymore, Margot spoke up.

“Rachel, what’s the matter? We’ve been watching you and you look so…dejected. I don’t really know how to describe it, it’s like this is the shell of you and you aren’t really here.” Rachel looked over at her concerned friend and tried to snap out of it.

“I’m sorry, it’s just been a really weird couple of days. I think the combination of that chicken and the movie…and my nervousness with Blake…well it just got to me.” Margot nodded and sighed.

“Speaking of Blake…he got back together with his ex. He told Todd that he really liked you, always has, but he’s in love with Trish or some junk like that. Todd actually yelled at him for you, said he shouldn’t have asked to begin with if he was trying to get back with her. I thought maybe you’d heard or something and that was it…I’m really sorry, Rachel.” Rachel had actually forgotten about Blake…her one hope in getting over her current state of depression. Guys were just naturally assholes, it appeared.

“No, I didn’t know that…wow.” Margot swore and moved to sit next to her.

“God, I’m such a jerk! I shouldn’t have blurted it out to you like that, I’m really sorry!” Rachel shook her head, trying to let go of the pile of feelings that seemed to be pressing down on her.

“Margot, it’s not your fault. Most guys are just designed to be jerks, it seems.” Andrew raised his head at her comment, but one look from Margot and he stopped what he was about to say. Margot leaned forward and hugged.

“We’ll have a girly weekend okay? Just the two of us, no offense Andrew. We haven’t done that since middle school. We’ll go out to lunch, we’ll shop, we’ll see a cheesy chick flick…it’ll be great.” Rachel knew that Margot was trying to cheer her up and she didn’t want to make her fell worse

“That sounds like fun, Margot. Andrew, maybe we can do the movie thing Sunday, would that be okay?” Andrew nodded and chuckled.

“It’s cool whenever, Rae, I’m just glad you’re not sick…we were worried.” Rachel smiled and hugged her friend.

“No, I’m not sick.” When the bell rang, Rachel’s stomach fell. She stood up and looked at her two friends with a groan.

“I so do not want to go to this class right now!” Margot looked up in surprise.

“What, since when? I thought you loved Captain dreamy and all that poetry crap.” Rachel laughed at her reference to Ethan, but quickly sobered.

“No, I’ve never liked Poetry, it’s stupid. Dark writing, I understand, but most poems don’t even make any sense! Sure, Mr. Reynolds is easy on the eyes, but it does not help the boringness of this class. I’m only taking it because I have to. Anyway, I guess I’d better go, have fun in your free period.” They waved as she walked down the hall. She was later then she normally was to the class and it was already almost full. However, when she walked in, her chair was still available. Not wanting to give him the satisfaction of moving, she sat down and pulled out her notebook and book of poetry. He looked up as she sat down and stared at her for a minute before beginning the class.
She actually got through the class okay. He wasn’t looking in her direction that she saw and she was able to focus on the paper she was supposed to be getting ready to write. When the class was over, she gathered her things and left without a backwards glance. Once she was in the hall, she breathed a sigh of relief that it was over. She knew now that she was going to be okay. He couldn’t make a scene because he could lose his job or even go to jail if anyone found out. She deposited her things into her locker and headed for her car in the parking lot. Once there, she found a single rose and a small card on her windshield. She paused as she picked up the white rose…her favorite. When she picked up the card she almost cried when she read it.

Rachel,
I’m very sorry that you saw the kiss. Please forgive me for being a jerk. Please just talk to me and we can sort it out.
E.

Rachel read the card three times before she slid into the backseat of her car. She was so mixed up that she wasn’t sure what to do. She started her car up and drove home in sort of a daze. When she walked through the door, her mom walked up to her with a calm expression on her face.
“Everything go okay at school today, hon?” Rachel nodded and held up the rose and card. Her mother walked forward with a raised eyebrow.

“He gave you a rose?” Rachel nodded and handed her mom the card. There wasn’t anything implicating in there, so it was okay for her to read it. When her mother finished reading it, she sighed.

“Honey…are you going to talk to him?” Rachel plopped down on the couch and a tear slipped down her cheek.

“Mom, I have no idea what to do! My emotions are running around crazy and I can’t sort through them. The way he looked at me today…I almost caved right then. Then I go to my car and this is on my windshield. Also, I found out through Margot that Brad has gotten back together with his ex. What is it with men? Do they grow up at all, or are they always like this? If they’re always like this mom, then I may become a lesbian.” Helen Carter threw her head back and laughed at her daughter’s words.

“Honey, men have nothing to do with it. It’s relationships in general, they’re difficult. Give it a few more days before you decide what you’re going to do about this E character. Who signs a card with an initial?”

**************

The rest of the week was pretty much the same. She found another rose on her car the next day with a similar note. On Wednesday a full bouquet of white roses was delivered to her house with a simple “I’m sorry” attached to them. On Thursday it was balloons, stuffed animals, and candy. Friday, Rachel went through her normal routine. Her mother had suggested that she try talking to him, because he was being very persistent. When she got to the class, she sat in her normal desk and acted completely normal. When the class was over, Rachel hung back and waited for everyone to leave. When he looked up from his desk to see her still in the room, he jumped up.

“Hello…would you like to come into my office?” Rachel hesitated, unsure of what to do next. She knew that they couldn’t have the conversation in the classroom so she nodded. He immediately led the way into this office and shut the door behind them. They didn’t really move once the door was shut, neither really knowing what to do. When he started to speak, Rachel held up a hand.

“You have to stop, okay? You’re driving me completely crazy with the notes, the candy, the stuffed animals, the flowers, and I can’t take it anymore. Please…just leave it alone.” He stared at her for a minute before he nodded.

“If you really want me to leave you alone and never contact you again outside of class, then of course I will. I just think you should hear everything before you make your decision.” Rachel folded her arms and sighed.

“Hear what?” He sat down in the chair behind his desk and motioned for her to sit. When she just shook her head, he sighed again and continued to speak.

“Listen, Natalie and I are just friends. She’d come by the office the other day to tell me something and she’d heard us. She is a very long time friend of mine and she confronted me about it. I confessed everything to her, I told her that I was crazy about you and couldn’t keep away from you. She walked outside with me on Friday for two reasons. One was so that a rumor would get started about us and draw attention away from me and you. Two…she just wanted to see the girl that I’d risk incarceration and loss of job for. She saw the look that passed between us and she thought it cute and funny and gave me a peck. Just so you know, Natalie is in a very long term relationship with a woman named Carol. When I saw you talking to Blake, blushing and laughing, I saw red. She agreed to see a movie with me to take my mind off of the fact that you were going on a date with someone not me and then there you with him…holding his hand. You two were whispering and laughing and you looked like a couple. I shouldn’t have shoved you into the stall like I did, but as I’ve said before…I’m a bit possessive of you. So there it is, my explanation.”

Rachel was rooted to the spot and didn’t know what to do. It was a very good explanation of the events, but it also made her horrified of something else. They’d been caught! Someone else knew about the two of them and it began to make her nauseous. If someone not friendly found about it, he’d go to jail and lose his job! She was so conflicted because she was relieved that he wasn’t seeing Ms. Connor. She was ecstatic that he seemed to genuinely care about her. She was terrified of the consequences when someone found out, and someone would find out…they always did in these situation. When she didn’t say anything, he stood up and walked to stand in front of her.

“Rachel, please say something.” She looked up to see his tortured face and again, she almost caved.

“I don’t know what to do here, Ethan.” He was clearly frustrated because he let out an exasperated groan.

“What do you mean? Do you not believe me about Natalie, because she said she’d talk to you when she heard about this.” Rachel shook her head and chuckled, almost hysterically.

“That’s just it, Ethan. She heard us the other day! What if it had been someone else? You’d be out of a job right now, I’d be in terrible trouble with my parents, and you might even go to jail over it. I mean, what are we thinking here?” Within a second, she was in his arms and his lips were on hers. Rachel sighed and leaned into him, kissing him back. She’d really missed the feel of his arms around her. He broke the kiss and smiled at her.

“We’re thinking that it’s worth it, Rachel, because this feeling is worth everything.” When she looked into his eyes, she knew that he was right. She couldn’t refuse him anything now that she knew the truth. She kissed him again, only to jump away from him and grab her back pack. He gave her a worried look, and she reassured him with a smile.

“I just…we shouldn’t be doing any touching while on school property.” He chuckled and conceded.

“I think that’s probably a good idea. Are you doing anything tonight? It’s kind of a drive, but I can take you to the lake. We could have a picnic and just talk.” Rachel looked at him and smiled brilliantly at him, her eyes lighting up at him.

“You want to take me on an actual date?” He chuckled at her reaction.

“Of course I do, silly. I just wish that we didn’t have to sneak around. As it is, we’re going to have to sneak until you graduate.” Rachel gasped at his words. He was thinking that far into the future for them? Graduation was more then four months away. When he saw her reaction he raised an eyebrow.

“What is it? You don’t want to be seen with me even then?” Rachel laughed, feeling very light hearted now.

“It’s just you say graduation…which is almost five months away from now.” He wrapped his arms around her briefly and pressed a soft kiss on her lips.

“I’m not wanting to put a time frame on our relationship…are you?” Rachel shook her head, so happy she could jump up and down. She hated that they had to sneak around too, but it’s like he said…it was worth it.