Categories > Anime/Manga > Naruto > Star Wars: Birth of the Ninja Nations
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Star Wars. Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto, and Star Wars belongs to George Lucas.
Thoughts are in italics
Words in ‘…’ are words spoken in Tenkei.
Chapter 9:
Naruto figured that after his first impression with Jabba, that things could not get any worse.
Apparently he would be wrong about that.
After the horrible beginning, things actually looked like they would turn around. Naruto was lead though some tunnels by a Twi-lek who quite frankly looked like he had seen better days. Not physically, though he didn’t look that hot that way either, but rather mentally. Though to be fair it wasn’t everyday that that your life was threatened by a demonic teenager. Or maybe it was, in which case life in the galaxy outside Naruto’s homeworld was ever weirder than he previously thought.
As Naruto followed his reluctant guide, he ran over ideas in his head about what he was going to do. Unfortunately for him most of his ideas fell between stupid and very stupid. He was actually thinking about a way to spin breaking into the place as a compliment when he walked into a large chamber.
The first thought that raced through his mind was that this place was huge. Well actually his first thought was about something female, scantily clad, and very humanoid that walked passed him when he entered the room. But his very next thought was that the place was huge. Then he noticed the fact that the said gigantic room was packed with people. Some of which gave him the creeps, namely a humanoid with grayish skin. The guy looked at him in a very strange way. If Naruto did not know any better, (and honestly he actually didn’t), he would say that guy looked hungry. That and the observation of Naruto that something appeared to be moving under the skin of the guy’s nose. Or at least what looked like a nose. Naruto made a mental note to avoid him if he survived the meeting with Jabba.
The final thought was, of course, the thought which made an already bad situation so much worse.
Holy shit, it’s a giant slug!
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Crap. Ok, what now? Maybe I can convince him that slugs are quite revered by my people, and that it was a compliment. No no, he wouldn’t buy that. I could run, but honestly where would I go? Also, I need a job, and as far as I know this is the only place to get one. So I’m stuck. I’ve got to figure out a way to salvage this situation.
Jabba suddenly starting making strange noises and moved his arms wildly.
Ah hell! The guy’s having a seizure. I just know I am going to be blamed for this. Maybe I can work with this. All fear me and my mad seizure causing powers. Yeah… only an idiot would fall for that. And considering his royal slugship is this super powerful crime boss, I am guessing he is not an idiot. Maybe I should rethink my running idea.
“The great and powerful Jabba inquires what you just said”.
The voice drew Naruto’s attention to a figure standing next to Jabba. It appeared to be a man in full silver body armor. But considering how artificial the voice sounded, it was probably another machine like that eyeball thing.
Wait, Jabba was trying to communicate. I guess that makes sense. Now that I think about it, the sounds do seem kinda like what the Majordomo said. But how could he not have understood me. I think I said it pretty loud. Unless… I instinctually said it in Tenkei. Oh, could I be that lucky? One way to find out. It’s time to lie through my teeth and kiss ass.
“Most esteemed Lord Jabba. The words I used when first witnessing your magnificence was ‘Holy shit, it’s a giant slug’. It was spoken in the native language of my people. Translated it means… Greetings and salutations most honored one. It is a phrase of great respect from my home planet.
And I always loathed all the syphocants which clung to the Hokage’s heels, trying to win his favor through flattery and lies. I hate irony.
“Lord Jabba inquires why you paused for a second before providing the translation?”
“My lord, I’m afraid my native language of Tenkei does not translate perfectly into the Basic tongue. For instance… the words “a giant slug” roughly translated is most honored one, but the word ‘slug’ has many meanings, which depends largely on its context. I merely paused so I could provide you the most accurate definition of my praise when entering the presence of your … eminence."
Damn I’m good.
Jabba spoke again and the metal machine man translated, “The glorious and revered Jabba the Hutt asks then why you were so surprised when you saw him?”
“Lord Jabba, I have heard tales of your glory. Stories and legends are told of your majestic personage. But I was not prepared for the real thing. The tales pale in comparison to your splendor. I am afraid I lost… my composure in face of your glory.”
Naruto suddenly got an idea.
“In fact any pauses or hesitation in my speech is because I am in such awe from being in your … venerable presence. I have been rendered partially incoherent from my exposure to your sheer… awesomeness.”
Awesome! The best word I can come up with is awesome! What am I… 8?
“The illustrious Jabba admires your ability to grovel.”
Thanks. That’s all I ever wanted. To be admired for my groveling and not one of my other clearly inferior accomplishments. Now I can die happy. The only thing that would make it better is if I didn’t die!
“The wise and powerful Jabba asks you why you broke into his fortress.”
“My lord, my name is Naruto Uzumaki and I am a bounty hunter. And… there is nothing I would like more than to serve you. I have wanted to work for you for so long, I’m afraid that when I was refused admittance to your fortress, I lost control at the thought of not being able to be at your side. I beg your forgiveness, Lord Jabba.”
Jabba suddenly burst into a deep booming laugh which sent a shiver down Naruto’s spine.
Did he buy it?
“Lord Jabba expresses admiration for your dedication, as well as your fighting prowess, and decrees that you are forgiven for your transgressions, under one condition. Though the most honored one cares little for the things you have destroyed. He does care about the money you have cost him. And therefore demands compensation.
Compensation?
“Lord Jabba has ordered you to work off your debt. After which all will be forgiven and you will be granted a position within his employ”.
I guess that’s not that bad. Could definitely be worse.
“How much?”
“Lord Jabba most graciously demands an amount no less than 100,000 credits”.
100,000! That’s… that’s… I guess the best I can hope for. At least I’m guaranteed employment.
“I agree with your most gracious terms Lord Jabba, what is the first task you wish of me?”
Jabba bellowed out a command, and one of the people inside the room quickly ran out and grabbed a datacard, then returned to the room and gave it to Naruto.
Jabba then started talking, so Naruto waited so the machine could translate.
“Lord Jabba assigns you to track down and retrieve one Jasati Tarlo, a human agent of Jabba who has committed a most heinous crime against my lord. You are to find him, and bring him back here alive. If the man dies, the honorable Jabba will not mourn his death, though you will incur my lord’s displeasure. It would be a shame if your working relationship with Lord Jabba turned out to be a short and unpleasant one.”
Message Received.
Naruto popped the datacard in his datapad to get more information.
As previously said, the man’s name was Jasati Tarlo; a mid-level overseer for several of Jabba’s operations on Tatooine. 2 weeks ago, one of Jabba’s accountants discovered an imbalance in the numbers for one of the crime lord’s most recent operations on Tatooine. Not wanting to reveal this to Jabba without something positive to report. He spent the next two weeks tracking down and following the figurative paper trail; which led him to Tarlo. Tarlo had skimmed a sizable amount of money off the top of the operation, and considering the skill in which he did so it was unclear how long this has been going on. The accountant immediately reported what he found. Jabba received the information around 20 minutes ago, which when Naruto thought about it might be why Jabba looked so pissed before.
After thinking a second Naruto asked, “What will be the degree in which this job reduces my debt?”
“500 credits”
500 credits. I don’t know how much these credits at worth and other financial stuff. Those datacards from earlier might have talked about the history of credits, but not that much on their relative value. There are two options here. He is either cheating me or giving me a good deal. If he’s giving me a good deal and I ask for more money he gets angry, which is definitely not a good thing. However, if I don’t ask for more money and he is cheating me. Then he’ll keep doing it, and I’ll be stuck in debt even longer. And even after paying off the debt, it might seriously hurt future earnings. What’s the bigger risk? Future risk, or immediate risk? Hmm…? I think I am going with…
“I humbly request the sum of 1500 credits be deducted from my debt on completion of this assignment.”
Jabba roared and spoke angrily for about 30 seconds.
“Lord Jabba expressed his outrage at your audacity.”
No real need for translation there, buddy. Also I think you might have censored out a little there.
Naruto’s courage wavered a bit under the stare of Jabba’s baleful orange eyes. But Naruto just gazed back.
Naruto worried for a second whether he pushed it too far, but Jabba’s next words when translated reassured him immediately.
“1000 credits will be deducted”.
“Thank you for your generosity most honored and gracious Jabba.”
Ok, now to track this guy down. I mean, I’m a ninja; this is gonna to be easy. I’m gonna clear this debt in a snap. Now to get out of here. I feel a tingle down my spine. Like someone is watching me a little too closely for comfort. Probably just paranoia brought on my nerves, but can’t be too careful.
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It turns out not to be just paranoia, as there was a certain grayish skinned humanoid watching him very carefully.
What presence. What powerful presence. His power is divine. What glorious soup he must have. Rich in Luck. So intoxicating it made me the fool, causing me to react. Finally this is one worthy of my attention and time. But he dwells too deep in Jabba’s gaze. I am not fool enough to trifle with his lordship. But soon his favor will shift, and his attention will wander. A day, a month, a year, it makes no difference to me. I have lived and waited a thousand years, and I could wait for another still. Soon Naruto Uzumaki, I shall feed.
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The glass formerly filled with alcohol crashed onto the bar, and a hoarse voice croaked “another”. The used glasses were put aside where they resided with their many brethren, and a new glass was filled for the Sand Storm Cantina’s newest patron.
The mission was not quite as easy as Naruto thought it would be. The tracking was easy, the retrieving was not.
After leaving the Jabba’s fortress, he took some time to really look over the info in the datacard instead of running off half-cocked, which admittedly Naruto had a tendency to do. After analyzing the data he came to two conclusions. First, Tarlo was still on the planet (good thing, as Naruto did not have a ship), and the second conclusion was where Tarlo could be found.
The conclusions were actually easy to reach. For the first, from the datacard, Naruto extrapolated that Tarlo was a man who enjoyed his comforts. He enjoyed his power, and if he were to go anywhere he would only go if he took that power with him. Even if Tarlo had found out he was wanted by Jabba for a talk, there was no way he could in the short amount of time shifted his entire power structure off-world. So that means until his power was liquid enough to move, Jasati was still on the planet.
The second conclusion was even easier. According to his psychological profile, Tarlo enjoyed two things more than anything else in the galaxy. Drinks and women. You could find both, (often of dubious quality), at a bar, which for whatever reason was called a cantina here.
So Naruto created a hundred clones and intended on systematically searching through all of the cantinas in each of Tatooine’s cities. All of the clones all together searching one city at time, until it was confirmed Tarlo was not there then moving on to the next city. Naruto eventually after about 12 hours found Tarlo in a cantina in Bestine, Tatooine’s capital. Naruto was lucky that Tarlo was in the second city he searched.
Tarlo was not hard to spot. He was lounging in a booth in the back of the cantina talking to a guy that just screamed lackey. Tarlo had a drink in one hand and an unknown species of whore on the other. Yeah… I think I found the guy. Naruto checked again the picture of Tarlo shown in the datacard just to be sure. Confirming it was his target, and Naruto started to plan how to nab him.
The biggest problem was the fact that there were so many people. The cantina was packed. If Naruto went for Tarlo now, it would cause too much of a fuss, too much chaos, too much trouble that Naruto neither needed nor wanted. He figured the easiest thing to do was just wait until Tarlo left the cantina and just retrieve him then. While waiting Naruto decided to order a glass of alcohol, mostly out of boredom. He had never tried any alcohol before, though he was allowed to. In Konohagakure as well as the rest of the ninja villages a ninja was considered an adult as soon as they achieved a rank. Naruto achieved the rank of genin at 12 years old. In Konohagakure if you were old enough to kill, you were old enough to get drunk. And those concepts were not exactly mutually exclusive. Though Naruto had never had a drink. He felt it was time to change that. The bartender was hesitant to serve alcohol to a 13 year old, but some credits changed her mind. Money was a universal lubricant, easing the process of all types of transactions the whole galaxy over. Everyone understood money, and it served very well to make legal dilemmas less of an issue. However, there was a problem with Naruto’s waiting plan. Three hours later, Tarlo was still there.
The bartender looked at the kid slumped over her bar.
“You sure about another drink? You even good for it?”
“I w-want another drink. Don’t worry. I am good for it. I have the money.” Or at least someone else does.
“Fine, you’re the boss”.
Taking in a glance the 20 or so previously filled glasses next to Naruto’s elbow. She murmured softly the question “how the hell are you still conscious?” She didn’t think anyone would hear her, but Naruto did.
“I have my ways.”
The bartender was shocked, and decided to go back to washing glasses after giving the boy his drink. It may have been boring and monotonous but it at least made sense. Not like a 13 year old who could drink 20 something glasses of hard liquor and still carry on an understandable conversation.
Naruto turned back to his drink. The stuff wasn’t bad. Not super, but it was at least something to do in his boredom. The stuff didn’t affect him that much. He had the suspicion the Kyuubi was keeping his mind clear. Besides the drinking experiment, which Naruto was reasonably certain he would never do again, the only other thing which helped a little bit to satisfy Naruto’s boredom was a short conversation he heard about how something called Jawas were having a big swap meet like thing.
Naruto eventually decided he had enough. He would go over there and try to make Tarlo leave the cantina somehow. His plan not very thought out, but honestly most of his plans never were. Naruto got to his feet and started walking forward.
Why is the floor moving?
Naruto had taken about a dozen steps when the Kyuubi decided to take that time to cleanse what it perceived to be a poison out of Naruto’s bloodstream.
An aura of Kyuubi’s power blasted from his body. The Kyuubi was hard at work burning the alcohol out of Naruto’s system, which unfortunately let off a wave of Killing Intent which hit every person in the cantina.
Most of the species here had not been prey for thousands if not millions of years. However, long dormant instincts awakened, as everyone perceived that a predator was near. Everyone froze. Hoping their lack of movement would prevent the malignant beast from making them its prey. Some couldn’t even move if they wanted to, the fear completely turning their limbs to stone. As the fear raced through everyone’s mind, hopelessness continued to climb. What was the use of it all? What was the use of living? They were just going to die, killed by the beast among them. Some of the glasses in people’s hands shattered as their hands spasmed, and some parts of the floor got a bit dirtier. But almost completely simultaneously everyone turned their head towards Naruto.
Naruto now completely sober and alcohol free sighed.
Well so much for the hassle-free stealth approach. Time for plan B.
And as Naruto dashed forward, the people started to scream, and pandemonium ensued.
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Jasati Tarlo was not a happy man. And there was a very good reason for that. It wasn’t his drink, for it was excellent. It also wasn’t with his decorative arm ornament, which he fully intended to later enjoy to its fullest extent. Tarlo’s distress came from some news he received a few hours ago, and as you might have imagined he was not pleased.
Damn that Binneed. After all those years of accepting my money and turning the other way, he now decides to go straight... relatively speaking. Well no one betrays me, especially not some sniveling Nimbanese accountant. When I return here one day to overthrow that fat gastropod, I am looking forward to hanging a reptile pelt on my wall.
As Tarlo turned back to his drink, he got an unpleasant feeling. He had those sometimes. He suspected he might be a little bit Force sensitive. A person tapped into the universal energy that bound and connected together all life. Tarlo didn’t know for sure and he didn’t care much. All he cared about here was his ability to sometimes know when bad things were going to happen, which seemed to be now.
“Dear, is something the matter?”
Ah, my evening’s entertainment. My mood’s better already.
“I am fine my darling. Merely puzzled on how a man like me could ever get a woman like you.”
Answer, I have a pulse.
The lady, whose name Tarlo neither remembered nor cared to, giggled.
By the Maker she is stupid. But I don’t want her for her intelligence…
Tarlo watched as her exuberant giggles did very intriguing things to her… uh… assets.
… I want her for other reasons. You know this actually would have been a really good day. I have a damn good drink, I have some dessert, and the only real thing spoiling the mood somewhat is that Jabba put a death mark on my head. Just a few hours Jase, then you can ditch this dump. Maybe I’ll go to Nar Shaddaa; Greck does owe me a favor. Good enough time as any to collect on that.
Something caught Tarlo’s eye and he chuckled as he watched some short blond kid staggering from the bar.
Poor kid; must be his first time drinking. I remember my first. Well my first drink anyway. I got so sick I threw up in the old lady’s purse. Dad got a real kick out of that, though he was not nearly so amused when said lady hit him with said purse. Best… family reunion… ever.
Suddenly a wave of pure fear crashed into Tarlo, which seemed to have brought to his mind all the horrifying ways he could die. How he was now merely prey. Tarlo with some effort threw off the feelings. He didn’t get scared; he hired people to make other people scared. And Tarlo turned to what he instinctually knew to be the source of the fear.
The boy?
But the boy didn’t look like he did before. His eyes were blood red and slitted. And this red energy spiraled around him. And a shape was forming within it. A shape which brought to Tarlo’s mind all the stories he heard as a child of the monsters who stalk the night. Tarlo shivered as for a moment, super-imposed over the image of the boy was some many tailed… demon that looked like it came from his darkest nightmares.
Suddenly the boy… monster… thing moved… towards him.
The movement broke the unnatural silence, and the people started to scream, and ran panicked for the doors. Trampling or shoving aside anything in their way in the depths of their blind panic.
Crap! Crap! Crap!
Tarlo threw the girl aside and chugged down his drink. He really didn’t have a problem doing so. Her kind was a credit a dozen, sometimes quite literally. The drink however was special. Tarlo when finished pulled out his blaster and aimed it towards the chaotic mass of people in front of his corner table.
Tarlo flinched as he heard blaster shots. But knew a second later they had to have come from his security team who had apparently gotten over their issues about firing into a crowd of people.
He gritted his teeth and sweated dripped down his brow as he did the only thing he could, he waited; waited as death tried, yet again, to take him down. But he wouldn’t go down so easy. He was Jasati Tarlo, and for him death would never come.
As the waiting continued Tarlo started to get twitchy.
Where is he? Where the hell is he?!
Almost on cue, out of the quickly moving mass in front of him, burst the demon. And Tarlo aimed then fired.
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Naruto darted through the crowd, swerving around, under or over the various people. Tarlo’s security team which admirably reacted very quickly to his charge was firing at him. But Naruto was moving too quickly through the dense crowd for them to hit him. He saw ahead that Tarlo had thrown aside the girl and finished his drink.
Well, really glad he has those priorities straight.
A few seconds later Naruto burst from the crowd and Tarlo started to aim.
Naruto dashed forward and jerked the blaster upward as it fired. The movement broke a few of Tarlo’s fingers, but he honestly never had time to worry about it. With his other hand Naruto grabbed Tarlo’s throat and lifted him off his feet.
Now normally Naruto would have knocked him out in a relatively painless and easy way. But Naruto was not in a very good mood right now. He was tired, hungry… as the bar did not serve food, irritated at having to wait so long, and of course the final and most important reason why Naruto was pissed was that he was introduced to the lovely thing called a hangover, which was especially bad as all the alcohol in his system was burned out of it over the course of a few seconds.
Naruto lifted Tarlo over his head, and then slammed his back into the table below him. There was a crack. If you were wondering whether it was Tarlo, or the table which had cracked. The answer was both. Tarlo fell unconscious at once.
The crowd had dispersed, one way or another, and the security team had a clear shot of Naruto. So they fired.
Naruto’s instincts screamed and he threw himself and his target over the table. In the process knocking it over, and ducking behind it for cover.
The blaster bolts thudded into the table. It would hold for a little while. Naruto quickly checked Tarlo’s pulse. And feeling it was strong, Naruto breathed a sigh of relief.
Now to get the hell out of here.
Naruto tore off a long strip of his robes, noting to himself that he really should replace those soon, unless he wanted to expose a little more of himself then he really was comfortable with.
With the strip Naruto prepared to tie Tarlo to his back. But quickly realized a very unfortunately fact.
He was too tall.
Tarlo was too tall to fit on Naruto’s back without majorly hindering Naruto’s movements.
He panicked for a second then took Tarlo’s legs and folded them to his head. Naruto had a distinct feeling that where he was going, Tarlo wouldn’t need those.
It was a really good thing Tarlo was unconscious.
After he finished tying Tarlo to his back, Naruto took a peak around the table to get an idea where all the attackers were. The ninja quickly jerked his head back to safety as a blaster bolt nearly took it off.
Alright, this is where the fun begins.
Grabbing firmly the table by its legs, Naruto with a grunt lifted it in front of him and charged.
The table crashed into the first attacker, and knocked him off his feet. Naruto slammed the table down onto the downed enemy and using that force vaunted forward into a handstand and kicked the next member of Tarlo’s security detail in the chin lifting the kicked man off the ground. ¬
Quickly flipping to his feet. Naruto grabbed the airborne man’s foot and slammed him down into the person charging him with a blade. He then with a spin to build momentum threw the man turned bludgeoning weapon into another attacker. And the whole time Naruto never stopped moving.
There were many things that the ninjas of Konohagakure have discovered during the invasion. One of which was that blaster bolts were really fast. Actually, they were ridiculously fast: faster than any ninja could ever hope to move. Theoretically if a ninja pushed themselves to the very limits and used every ounce of chakra in their body they could outrun a blaster bolt for a second, but then they would drop dead from exhaustion so it was a bit of a moot point. Some ninjas could react and move fast enough to dodge the blaster bolts, but even that was really hard. Though there were some who made practically an art out of it. Most ninja quickly discovered a weakness of the blaster. A weakness they eagerly exploited.
A blaster bolt was faster than a ninja, but the people firing them weren’t. When moving at top speed, the stormtroopers could simply not react fast enough to accurately aim and fire at them. Utilizing this fact, the ninjas in battle stayed in a state of a constant movement. More than that they made sure their movements did not follow any type of pattern, so it was impossible for the troopers to guess where they were going to move next. This strategy served Naruto very well in this situation. The men kept firing and kept missing, though a few shots came close. These people were just not used to fighting something as fast and agile as a ninja.
Naruto leaped forward and punched the next attacker in the head, knocking him to the ground unconscious he then continuing the previous movement kicked the blaster out of the hand of the person next to the recently downed attacker, grabbed the blaster out of mid air, and continuing his spin placed the barrel of his weapon in the man’s neck and fired.
Naruto jumped and rebounded up to the second floor where he grabbed the man there and threw him over the side where he crashed into the cantina floor below. Then pushing off the wall Naruto slammed feet first into the second to last member of the security detail.
Naruto paused to catch his breath. The final member of the team, who was 10 meters away or so, was looking a bit nervous to put it lightly and quite understandably. Normally Naruto wouldn’t pause in the middle of a fight but the final person only had a knife out and in the time it would take them to get a blaster out, Naruto could already be moving. Then Naruto felt movement below him as the person he was standing on was apparently not knocked out and was in the process of trying to stab Naruto’s leg with a shiv. Naruto quickly stomped down, and that was the end of that.
Naruto called out, “I really don’t want to have to kill you, so run away now and I won’t”.
“Kriff you.”
The final attacker then flicked his wrists sending 2 small spheres into each one of his 4 large hands.
“Not so tough now are you Blondie.”
With that final word the man activated all 8 of the grenades and threw them all at once at Naruto.
Naruto blanched, he knew the damage those things could do. Gathering his composure quickly he flashed quickly through some handseals.
Fūton: Daitoppa (Wind Release: Great Breakthrough)
And a massive torrent of wind exploded from his mouth, which when they came in contact with the grenades, blew them back.
The grenades all slammed back into the throwers body, lifting him up and smashing him into the metal door behind him.
Unconscious or dead, this fight’s over.
Naruto stayed tense and alert, expecting another unpleasant surprise to jump out at him, but when nothing happened for a few minutes, Naruto relaxed and checked Tarlo’s pulse again. Feeling it was still strong. Naruto started walking forward.
Alright, mission accomplished. Now to deliver this special package to Jabba, get my debt reduced, and be one step closer to fulfilling my goals. Wow, the thought that I am not actually being paid for this is sort of depressing. I am just reducing my debt. Well, it could have been worse; those guys could have actually been good shots. I actually got through this entire mission with receiving a serious injury. Just a few minor burns and scrapes that are already healed and a headache which is nearly gone. I am so awesome. In any case, now to get out of here. But why does it feel like I’m forgetting something?
Naruto’s ears then picked up the sound of 8 distinct beeping sounds. Sounds that were rapidly getting faster.
Oh.
Turning around quickly, Naruto sprinted for the far wall. He ripped Tarlo off his back and held him in front of him to protect Tarlo from the potential shrapnel. Naruto hoped to escape the explosion, but unfortunately that was not so. Naruto was too close at the beginning of his run to the grenades. He had walked too far during his after battle thoughts. And Naruto was hit by the edges of the detonation.
Feeling agonizing pain in his back and legs as the explosion and resulting shrapnel ripped them apart, the far wall approached rapidly. It was what he wanted a few seconds ago, though it was not quite in the manner in which Naruto wanted to reach it. The thing he wanted most was being given to him and it was going to kill him.
I really, really, hate irony.
Naruto in the instant before collision curled his body around Tarlo’s to cushion the impact to the criminal.
Then Naruto collided, and moments later his limp body hit the floor.
Thoughts are in italics
Words in ‘…’ are words spoken in Tenkei.
Chapter 9:
Naruto figured that after his first impression with Jabba, that things could not get any worse.
Apparently he would be wrong about that.
After the horrible beginning, things actually looked like they would turn around. Naruto was lead though some tunnels by a Twi-lek who quite frankly looked like he had seen better days. Not physically, though he didn’t look that hot that way either, but rather mentally. Though to be fair it wasn’t everyday that that your life was threatened by a demonic teenager. Or maybe it was, in which case life in the galaxy outside Naruto’s homeworld was ever weirder than he previously thought.
As Naruto followed his reluctant guide, he ran over ideas in his head about what he was going to do. Unfortunately for him most of his ideas fell between stupid and very stupid. He was actually thinking about a way to spin breaking into the place as a compliment when he walked into a large chamber.
The first thought that raced through his mind was that this place was huge. Well actually his first thought was about something female, scantily clad, and very humanoid that walked passed him when he entered the room. But his very next thought was that the place was huge. Then he noticed the fact that the said gigantic room was packed with people. Some of which gave him the creeps, namely a humanoid with grayish skin. The guy looked at him in a very strange way. If Naruto did not know any better, (and honestly he actually didn’t), he would say that guy looked hungry. That and the observation of Naruto that something appeared to be moving under the skin of the guy’s nose. Or at least what looked like a nose. Naruto made a mental note to avoid him if he survived the meeting with Jabba.
The final thought was, of course, the thought which made an already bad situation so much worse.
Holy shit, it’s a giant slug!
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Crap. Ok, what now? Maybe I can convince him that slugs are quite revered by my people, and that it was a compliment. No no, he wouldn’t buy that. I could run, but honestly where would I go? Also, I need a job, and as far as I know this is the only place to get one. So I’m stuck. I’ve got to figure out a way to salvage this situation.
Jabba suddenly starting making strange noises and moved his arms wildly.
Ah hell! The guy’s having a seizure. I just know I am going to be blamed for this. Maybe I can work with this. All fear me and my mad seizure causing powers. Yeah… only an idiot would fall for that. And considering his royal slugship is this super powerful crime boss, I am guessing he is not an idiot. Maybe I should rethink my running idea.
“The great and powerful Jabba inquires what you just said”.
The voice drew Naruto’s attention to a figure standing next to Jabba. It appeared to be a man in full silver body armor. But considering how artificial the voice sounded, it was probably another machine like that eyeball thing.
Wait, Jabba was trying to communicate. I guess that makes sense. Now that I think about it, the sounds do seem kinda like what the Majordomo said. But how could he not have understood me. I think I said it pretty loud. Unless… I instinctually said it in Tenkei. Oh, could I be that lucky? One way to find out. It’s time to lie through my teeth and kiss ass.
“Most esteemed Lord Jabba. The words I used when first witnessing your magnificence was ‘Holy shit, it’s a giant slug’. It was spoken in the native language of my people. Translated it means… Greetings and salutations most honored one. It is a phrase of great respect from my home planet.
And I always loathed all the syphocants which clung to the Hokage’s heels, trying to win his favor through flattery and lies. I hate irony.
“Lord Jabba inquires why you paused for a second before providing the translation?”
“My lord, I’m afraid my native language of Tenkei does not translate perfectly into the Basic tongue. For instance… the words “a giant slug” roughly translated is most honored one, but the word ‘slug’ has many meanings, which depends largely on its context. I merely paused so I could provide you the most accurate definition of my praise when entering the presence of your … eminence."
Damn I’m good.
Jabba spoke again and the metal machine man translated, “The glorious and revered Jabba the Hutt asks then why you were so surprised when you saw him?”
“Lord Jabba, I have heard tales of your glory. Stories and legends are told of your majestic personage. But I was not prepared for the real thing. The tales pale in comparison to your splendor. I am afraid I lost… my composure in face of your glory.”
Naruto suddenly got an idea.
“In fact any pauses or hesitation in my speech is because I am in such awe from being in your … venerable presence. I have been rendered partially incoherent from my exposure to your sheer… awesomeness.”
Awesome! The best word I can come up with is awesome! What am I… 8?
“The illustrious Jabba admires your ability to grovel.”
Thanks. That’s all I ever wanted. To be admired for my groveling and not one of my other clearly inferior accomplishments. Now I can die happy. The only thing that would make it better is if I didn’t die!
“The wise and powerful Jabba asks you why you broke into his fortress.”
“My lord, my name is Naruto Uzumaki and I am a bounty hunter. And… there is nothing I would like more than to serve you. I have wanted to work for you for so long, I’m afraid that when I was refused admittance to your fortress, I lost control at the thought of not being able to be at your side. I beg your forgiveness, Lord Jabba.”
Jabba suddenly burst into a deep booming laugh which sent a shiver down Naruto’s spine.
Did he buy it?
“Lord Jabba expresses admiration for your dedication, as well as your fighting prowess, and decrees that you are forgiven for your transgressions, under one condition. Though the most honored one cares little for the things you have destroyed. He does care about the money you have cost him. And therefore demands compensation.
Compensation?
“Lord Jabba has ordered you to work off your debt. After which all will be forgiven and you will be granted a position within his employ”.
I guess that’s not that bad. Could definitely be worse.
“How much?”
“Lord Jabba most graciously demands an amount no less than 100,000 credits”.
100,000! That’s… that’s… I guess the best I can hope for. At least I’m guaranteed employment.
“I agree with your most gracious terms Lord Jabba, what is the first task you wish of me?”
Jabba bellowed out a command, and one of the people inside the room quickly ran out and grabbed a datacard, then returned to the room and gave it to Naruto.
Jabba then started talking, so Naruto waited so the machine could translate.
“Lord Jabba assigns you to track down and retrieve one Jasati Tarlo, a human agent of Jabba who has committed a most heinous crime against my lord. You are to find him, and bring him back here alive. If the man dies, the honorable Jabba will not mourn his death, though you will incur my lord’s displeasure. It would be a shame if your working relationship with Lord Jabba turned out to be a short and unpleasant one.”
Message Received.
Naruto popped the datacard in his datapad to get more information.
As previously said, the man’s name was Jasati Tarlo; a mid-level overseer for several of Jabba’s operations on Tatooine. 2 weeks ago, one of Jabba’s accountants discovered an imbalance in the numbers for one of the crime lord’s most recent operations on Tatooine. Not wanting to reveal this to Jabba without something positive to report. He spent the next two weeks tracking down and following the figurative paper trail; which led him to Tarlo. Tarlo had skimmed a sizable amount of money off the top of the operation, and considering the skill in which he did so it was unclear how long this has been going on. The accountant immediately reported what he found. Jabba received the information around 20 minutes ago, which when Naruto thought about it might be why Jabba looked so pissed before.
After thinking a second Naruto asked, “What will be the degree in which this job reduces my debt?”
“500 credits”
500 credits. I don’t know how much these credits at worth and other financial stuff. Those datacards from earlier might have talked about the history of credits, but not that much on their relative value. There are two options here. He is either cheating me or giving me a good deal. If he’s giving me a good deal and I ask for more money he gets angry, which is definitely not a good thing. However, if I don’t ask for more money and he is cheating me. Then he’ll keep doing it, and I’ll be stuck in debt even longer. And even after paying off the debt, it might seriously hurt future earnings. What’s the bigger risk? Future risk, or immediate risk? Hmm…? I think I am going with…
“I humbly request the sum of 1500 credits be deducted from my debt on completion of this assignment.”
Jabba roared and spoke angrily for about 30 seconds.
“Lord Jabba expressed his outrage at your audacity.”
No real need for translation there, buddy. Also I think you might have censored out a little there.
Naruto’s courage wavered a bit under the stare of Jabba’s baleful orange eyes. But Naruto just gazed back.
Naruto worried for a second whether he pushed it too far, but Jabba’s next words when translated reassured him immediately.
“1000 credits will be deducted”.
“Thank you for your generosity most honored and gracious Jabba.”
Ok, now to track this guy down. I mean, I’m a ninja; this is gonna to be easy. I’m gonna clear this debt in a snap. Now to get out of here. I feel a tingle down my spine. Like someone is watching me a little too closely for comfort. Probably just paranoia brought on my nerves, but can’t be too careful.
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It turns out not to be just paranoia, as there was a certain grayish skinned humanoid watching him very carefully.
What presence. What powerful presence. His power is divine. What glorious soup he must have. Rich in Luck. So intoxicating it made me the fool, causing me to react. Finally this is one worthy of my attention and time. But he dwells too deep in Jabba’s gaze. I am not fool enough to trifle with his lordship. But soon his favor will shift, and his attention will wander. A day, a month, a year, it makes no difference to me. I have lived and waited a thousand years, and I could wait for another still. Soon Naruto Uzumaki, I shall feed.
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The glass formerly filled with alcohol crashed onto the bar, and a hoarse voice croaked “another”. The used glasses were put aside where they resided with their many brethren, and a new glass was filled for the Sand Storm Cantina’s newest patron.
The mission was not quite as easy as Naruto thought it would be. The tracking was easy, the retrieving was not.
After leaving the Jabba’s fortress, he took some time to really look over the info in the datacard instead of running off half-cocked, which admittedly Naruto had a tendency to do. After analyzing the data he came to two conclusions. First, Tarlo was still on the planet (good thing, as Naruto did not have a ship), and the second conclusion was where Tarlo could be found.
The conclusions were actually easy to reach. For the first, from the datacard, Naruto extrapolated that Tarlo was a man who enjoyed his comforts. He enjoyed his power, and if he were to go anywhere he would only go if he took that power with him. Even if Tarlo had found out he was wanted by Jabba for a talk, there was no way he could in the short amount of time shifted his entire power structure off-world. So that means until his power was liquid enough to move, Jasati was still on the planet.
The second conclusion was even easier. According to his psychological profile, Tarlo enjoyed two things more than anything else in the galaxy. Drinks and women. You could find both, (often of dubious quality), at a bar, which for whatever reason was called a cantina here.
So Naruto created a hundred clones and intended on systematically searching through all of the cantinas in each of Tatooine’s cities. All of the clones all together searching one city at time, until it was confirmed Tarlo was not there then moving on to the next city. Naruto eventually after about 12 hours found Tarlo in a cantina in Bestine, Tatooine’s capital. Naruto was lucky that Tarlo was in the second city he searched.
Tarlo was not hard to spot. He was lounging in a booth in the back of the cantina talking to a guy that just screamed lackey. Tarlo had a drink in one hand and an unknown species of whore on the other. Yeah… I think I found the guy. Naruto checked again the picture of Tarlo shown in the datacard just to be sure. Confirming it was his target, and Naruto started to plan how to nab him.
The biggest problem was the fact that there were so many people. The cantina was packed. If Naruto went for Tarlo now, it would cause too much of a fuss, too much chaos, too much trouble that Naruto neither needed nor wanted. He figured the easiest thing to do was just wait until Tarlo left the cantina and just retrieve him then. While waiting Naruto decided to order a glass of alcohol, mostly out of boredom. He had never tried any alcohol before, though he was allowed to. In Konohagakure as well as the rest of the ninja villages a ninja was considered an adult as soon as they achieved a rank. Naruto achieved the rank of genin at 12 years old. In Konohagakure if you were old enough to kill, you were old enough to get drunk. And those concepts were not exactly mutually exclusive. Though Naruto had never had a drink. He felt it was time to change that. The bartender was hesitant to serve alcohol to a 13 year old, but some credits changed her mind. Money was a universal lubricant, easing the process of all types of transactions the whole galaxy over. Everyone understood money, and it served very well to make legal dilemmas less of an issue. However, there was a problem with Naruto’s waiting plan. Three hours later, Tarlo was still there.
The bartender looked at the kid slumped over her bar.
“You sure about another drink? You even good for it?”
“I w-want another drink. Don’t worry. I am good for it. I have the money.” Or at least someone else does.
“Fine, you’re the boss”.
Taking in a glance the 20 or so previously filled glasses next to Naruto’s elbow. She murmured softly the question “how the hell are you still conscious?” She didn’t think anyone would hear her, but Naruto did.
“I have my ways.”
The bartender was shocked, and decided to go back to washing glasses after giving the boy his drink. It may have been boring and monotonous but it at least made sense. Not like a 13 year old who could drink 20 something glasses of hard liquor and still carry on an understandable conversation.
Naruto turned back to his drink. The stuff wasn’t bad. Not super, but it was at least something to do in his boredom. The stuff didn’t affect him that much. He had the suspicion the Kyuubi was keeping his mind clear. Besides the drinking experiment, which Naruto was reasonably certain he would never do again, the only other thing which helped a little bit to satisfy Naruto’s boredom was a short conversation he heard about how something called Jawas were having a big swap meet like thing.
Naruto eventually decided he had enough. He would go over there and try to make Tarlo leave the cantina somehow. His plan not very thought out, but honestly most of his plans never were. Naruto got to his feet and started walking forward.
Why is the floor moving?
Naruto had taken about a dozen steps when the Kyuubi decided to take that time to cleanse what it perceived to be a poison out of Naruto’s bloodstream.
An aura of Kyuubi’s power blasted from his body. The Kyuubi was hard at work burning the alcohol out of Naruto’s system, which unfortunately let off a wave of Killing Intent which hit every person in the cantina.
Most of the species here had not been prey for thousands if not millions of years. However, long dormant instincts awakened, as everyone perceived that a predator was near. Everyone froze. Hoping their lack of movement would prevent the malignant beast from making them its prey. Some couldn’t even move if they wanted to, the fear completely turning their limbs to stone. As the fear raced through everyone’s mind, hopelessness continued to climb. What was the use of it all? What was the use of living? They were just going to die, killed by the beast among them. Some of the glasses in people’s hands shattered as their hands spasmed, and some parts of the floor got a bit dirtier. But almost completely simultaneously everyone turned their head towards Naruto.
Naruto now completely sober and alcohol free sighed.
Well so much for the hassle-free stealth approach. Time for plan B.
And as Naruto dashed forward, the people started to scream, and pandemonium ensued.
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Jasati Tarlo was not a happy man. And there was a very good reason for that. It wasn’t his drink, for it was excellent. It also wasn’t with his decorative arm ornament, which he fully intended to later enjoy to its fullest extent. Tarlo’s distress came from some news he received a few hours ago, and as you might have imagined he was not pleased.
Damn that Binneed. After all those years of accepting my money and turning the other way, he now decides to go straight... relatively speaking. Well no one betrays me, especially not some sniveling Nimbanese accountant. When I return here one day to overthrow that fat gastropod, I am looking forward to hanging a reptile pelt on my wall.
As Tarlo turned back to his drink, he got an unpleasant feeling. He had those sometimes. He suspected he might be a little bit Force sensitive. A person tapped into the universal energy that bound and connected together all life. Tarlo didn’t know for sure and he didn’t care much. All he cared about here was his ability to sometimes know when bad things were going to happen, which seemed to be now.
“Dear, is something the matter?”
Ah, my evening’s entertainment. My mood’s better already.
“I am fine my darling. Merely puzzled on how a man like me could ever get a woman like you.”
Answer, I have a pulse.
The lady, whose name Tarlo neither remembered nor cared to, giggled.
By the Maker she is stupid. But I don’t want her for her intelligence…
Tarlo watched as her exuberant giggles did very intriguing things to her… uh… assets.
… I want her for other reasons. You know this actually would have been a really good day. I have a damn good drink, I have some dessert, and the only real thing spoiling the mood somewhat is that Jabba put a death mark on my head. Just a few hours Jase, then you can ditch this dump. Maybe I’ll go to Nar Shaddaa; Greck does owe me a favor. Good enough time as any to collect on that.
Something caught Tarlo’s eye and he chuckled as he watched some short blond kid staggering from the bar.
Poor kid; must be his first time drinking. I remember my first. Well my first drink anyway. I got so sick I threw up in the old lady’s purse. Dad got a real kick out of that, though he was not nearly so amused when said lady hit him with said purse. Best… family reunion… ever.
Suddenly a wave of pure fear crashed into Tarlo, which seemed to have brought to his mind all the horrifying ways he could die. How he was now merely prey. Tarlo with some effort threw off the feelings. He didn’t get scared; he hired people to make other people scared. And Tarlo turned to what he instinctually knew to be the source of the fear.
The boy?
But the boy didn’t look like he did before. His eyes were blood red and slitted. And this red energy spiraled around him. And a shape was forming within it. A shape which brought to Tarlo’s mind all the stories he heard as a child of the monsters who stalk the night. Tarlo shivered as for a moment, super-imposed over the image of the boy was some many tailed… demon that looked like it came from his darkest nightmares.
Suddenly the boy… monster… thing moved… towards him.
The movement broke the unnatural silence, and the people started to scream, and ran panicked for the doors. Trampling or shoving aside anything in their way in the depths of their blind panic.
Crap! Crap! Crap!
Tarlo threw the girl aside and chugged down his drink. He really didn’t have a problem doing so. Her kind was a credit a dozen, sometimes quite literally. The drink however was special. Tarlo when finished pulled out his blaster and aimed it towards the chaotic mass of people in front of his corner table.
Tarlo flinched as he heard blaster shots. But knew a second later they had to have come from his security team who had apparently gotten over their issues about firing into a crowd of people.
He gritted his teeth and sweated dripped down his brow as he did the only thing he could, he waited; waited as death tried, yet again, to take him down. But he wouldn’t go down so easy. He was Jasati Tarlo, and for him death would never come.
As the waiting continued Tarlo started to get twitchy.
Where is he? Where the hell is he?!
Almost on cue, out of the quickly moving mass in front of him, burst the demon. And Tarlo aimed then fired.
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Naruto darted through the crowd, swerving around, under or over the various people. Tarlo’s security team which admirably reacted very quickly to his charge was firing at him. But Naruto was moving too quickly through the dense crowd for them to hit him. He saw ahead that Tarlo had thrown aside the girl and finished his drink.
Well, really glad he has those priorities straight.
A few seconds later Naruto burst from the crowd and Tarlo started to aim.
Naruto dashed forward and jerked the blaster upward as it fired. The movement broke a few of Tarlo’s fingers, but he honestly never had time to worry about it. With his other hand Naruto grabbed Tarlo’s throat and lifted him off his feet.
Now normally Naruto would have knocked him out in a relatively painless and easy way. But Naruto was not in a very good mood right now. He was tired, hungry… as the bar did not serve food, irritated at having to wait so long, and of course the final and most important reason why Naruto was pissed was that he was introduced to the lovely thing called a hangover, which was especially bad as all the alcohol in his system was burned out of it over the course of a few seconds.
Naruto lifted Tarlo over his head, and then slammed his back into the table below him. There was a crack. If you were wondering whether it was Tarlo, or the table which had cracked. The answer was both. Tarlo fell unconscious at once.
The crowd had dispersed, one way or another, and the security team had a clear shot of Naruto. So they fired.
Naruto’s instincts screamed and he threw himself and his target over the table. In the process knocking it over, and ducking behind it for cover.
The blaster bolts thudded into the table. It would hold for a little while. Naruto quickly checked Tarlo’s pulse. And feeling it was strong, Naruto breathed a sigh of relief.
Now to get the hell out of here.
Naruto tore off a long strip of his robes, noting to himself that he really should replace those soon, unless he wanted to expose a little more of himself then he really was comfortable with.
With the strip Naruto prepared to tie Tarlo to his back. But quickly realized a very unfortunately fact.
He was too tall.
Tarlo was too tall to fit on Naruto’s back without majorly hindering Naruto’s movements.
He panicked for a second then took Tarlo’s legs and folded them to his head. Naruto had a distinct feeling that where he was going, Tarlo wouldn’t need those.
It was a really good thing Tarlo was unconscious.
After he finished tying Tarlo to his back, Naruto took a peak around the table to get an idea where all the attackers were. The ninja quickly jerked his head back to safety as a blaster bolt nearly took it off.
Alright, this is where the fun begins.
Grabbing firmly the table by its legs, Naruto with a grunt lifted it in front of him and charged.
The table crashed into the first attacker, and knocked him off his feet. Naruto slammed the table down onto the downed enemy and using that force vaunted forward into a handstand and kicked the next member of Tarlo’s security detail in the chin lifting the kicked man off the ground. ¬
Quickly flipping to his feet. Naruto grabbed the airborne man’s foot and slammed him down into the person charging him with a blade. He then with a spin to build momentum threw the man turned bludgeoning weapon into another attacker. And the whole time Naruto never stopped moving.
There were many things that the ninjas of Konohagakure have discovered during the invasion. One of which was that blaster bolts were really fast. Actually, they were ridiculously fast: faster than any ninja could ever hope to move. Theoretically if a ninja pushed themselves to the very limits and used every ounce of chakra in their body they could outrun a blaster bolt for a second, but then they would drop dead from exhaustion so it was a bit of a moot point. Some ninjas could react and move fast enough to dodge the blaster bolts, but even that was really hard. Though there were some who made practically an art out of it. Most ninja quickly discovered a weakness of the blaster. A weakness they eagerly exploited.
A blaster bolt was faster than a ninja, but the people firing them weren’t. When moving at top speed, the stormtroopers could simply not react fast enough to accurately aim and fire at them. Utilizing this fact, the ninjas in battle stayed in a state of a constant movement. More than that they made sure their movements did not follow any type of pattern, so it was impossible for the troopers to guess where they were going to move next. This strategy served Naruto very well in this situation. The men kept firing and kept missing, though a few shots came close. These people were just not used to fighting something as fast and agile as a ninja.
Naruto leaped forward and punched the next attacker in the head, knocking him to the ground unconscious he then continuing the previous movement kicked the blaster out of the hand of the person next to the recently downed attacker, grabbed the blaster out of mid air, and continuing his spin placed the barrel of his weapon in the man’s neck and fired.
Naruto jumped and rebounded up to the second floor where he grabbed the man there and threw him over the side where he crashed into the cantina floor below. Then pushing off the wall Naruto slammed feet first into the second to last member of the security detail.
Naruto paused to catch his breath. The final member of the team, who was 10 meters away or so, was looking a bit nervous to put it lightly and quite understandably. Normally Naruto wouldn’t pause in the middle of a fight but the final person only had a knife out and in the time it would take them to get a blaster out, Naruto could already be moving. Then Naruto felt movement below him as the person he was standing on was apparently not knocked out and was in the process of trying to stab Naruto’s leg with a shiv. Naruto quickly stomped down, and that was the end of that.
Naruto called out, “I really don’t want to have to kill you, so run away now and I won’t”.
“Kriff you.”
The final attacker then flicked his wrists sending 2 small spheres into each one of his 4 large hands.
“Not so tough now are you Blondie.”
With that final word the man activated all 8 of the grenades and threw them all at once at Naruto.
Naruto blanched, he knew the damage those things could do. Gathering his composure quickly he flashed quickly through some handseals.
Fūton: Daitoppa (Wind Release: Great Breakthrough)
And a massive torrent of wind exploded from his mouth, which when they came in contact with the grenades, blew them back.
The grenades all slammed back into the throwers body, lifting him up and smashing him into the metal door behind him.
Unconscious or dead, this fight’s over.
Naruto stayed tense and alert, expecting another unpleasant surprise to jump out at him, but when nothing happened for a few minutes, Naruto relaxed and checked Tarlo’s pulse again. Feeling it was still strong. Naruto started walking forward.
Alright, mission accomplished. Now to deliver this special package to Jabba, get my debt reduced, and be one step closer to fulfilling my goals. Wow, the thought that I am not actually being paid for this is sort of depressing. I am just reducing my debt. Well, it could have been worse; those guys could have actually been good shots. I actually got through this entire mission with receiving a serious injury. Just a few minor burns and scrapes that are already healed and a headache which is nearly gone. I am so awesome. In any case, now to get out of here. But why does it feel like I’m forgetting something?
Naruto’s ears then picked up the sound of 8 distinct beeping sounds. Sounds that were rapidly getting faster.
Oh.
Turning around quickly, Naruto sprinted for the far wall. He ripped Tarlo off his back and held him in front of him to protect Tarlo from the potential shrapnel. Naruto hoped to escape the explosion, but unfortunately that was not so. Naruto was too close at the beginning of his run to the grenades. He had walked too far during his after battle thoughts. And Naruto was hit by the edges of the detonation.
Feeling agonizing pain in his back and legs as the explosion and resulting shrapnel ripped them apart, the far wall approached rapidly. It was what he wanted a few seconds ago, though it was not quite in the manner in which Naruto wanted to reach it. The thing he wanted most was being given to him and it was going to kill him.
I really, really, hate irony.
Naruto in the instant before collision curled his body around Tarlo’s to cushion the impact to the criminal.
Then Naruto collided, and moments later his limp body hit the floor.
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