FicWad

Taylor’s POV

I must have been at least 10 minutes standing outside Bill’s door, pacing back and forth, wanting to run the hell away from there or making up my mind to knock. In my head, I kept repeating myself this encounter was pointless. It wouldn’t change things, Christine would still be pregnant, he’d still be with her and I’d still leave in a couple of days. Why were we even going to discuss it? It’s already decided… right? I paced around for another minute and then stopped leaning on the wall in front of the door again, taking a deep breath, trying to decide. But I didn’t, cause William decided to open the door.

His hair was a mess and he looked paler than usual, the black beneath his eyes increasing the effect. It almost made me feel sorry for him, but then I realized I must have looked just as bad, or maybe worse. I crossed my arms and looked at him briefly, feeling my stomach become a tight knot. It was too late to run now.

“Hey.” He said softly.

“Hi.”

After a few seconds in silence and failing to move, William cleared his throat and motioned me in, mumbling something I didn’t catch. I took a deep breath and walked into the room slowly. The door closed behind us. I stood in the middle of the room facing the floor while Bill paced around.

“Want anything?” He said.

I shook my head. “Just say what you have to say.”

“Tay…” He sighed and sat on the bed in front of me, though I was still facing the floor. “Tony told me you’re leaving.”

“Yeah, I’m… I gave him my two weeks notice, I’ll leave when we get back home.” I said crossing my arms.

“Why?”

Oh, God, why is he even asking?

“Why? Cause I have nothing to do here anymore. If I stayed…” I sighed and rubbed my face. “If I stayed it was because of you.” I looked at him then. Hell, what was the point of hiding anything now?

William got up from the bed and stood in front of me. “Then stay. I’m not going anywhere!”

“I can’t. Bill…” I stopped and gulped. “You have a pregnant girlfriend. And I’m…” I stopped cause I felt the tears burning in my eyes and I wasn’t going to cry there.

“You’re you and I need you.” He said stepping a little closer. I bit my lip and looked up, sucking the tears in.

“What for? For when Christine gets too fat for you to fuck?” I shook my head and stepped back. “Don’t you get it? I can’t do this anymore…”

“Why? What’s the difference now?” I looked at him exasperated. How can he not notice? How can he not know?

“The difference is that I’m in love with you, William! Cause if I stayed was only out of hope!” I bit my lip hard and faced the floor again, not standing to see his face, whatever expression he had. “You’re not picking me. You have a son or daughter now, and a girlfriend and I have nothing left to do here. That’s it. That’s why.”

“Tay…” William stepped closer and I stepped back, repeating the same process till I hit the wall and couldn’t keep getting away.

“Look, this is already hard enough.” I said trying to stop him, but he grabbed my shoulders lightly. “William, let me go.” I whispered, still looking down. But he wouldn’t. “Let me go.” I said a little louder. Again, he didn’t, instead he tightened his grip and placed his forehead against mine. I closed my eyes to keep me from looking at him. “Let me go!” I repeated, slapping his chest and fisting his shirt. But he didn’t move.

“Push me away.” He said. “Push me away and I’ll let you go.” His hands cupped my face and I opened my eyes to see him staring right back at me. “Push me away and I promise I will never bother you again.”


It took me less then a second to decide what to do, I guess I didn’t even think about it that much. And no, I didn’t push him away, I pulled him closer by his shirt and we started kissing hard, almost painfully, as if I wanted to hurt him. It was certainly hurting me.

It was the first time I thanked the powers for his buttoned up shirts, cause I gripped it tightly and ripped it open, making the buttons pop all over the floor. William groaned and pressed me against the wall while I dived my hands to his chest and over his shoulder, making the shirt fall to the ground. I closed my eyes feeling I was going to cry again and sighed as his mouth went to my neck and his hands slid under the tank top I was wearing. They felt warm and familiar against my skin, touching and caressing the right places, making me groan and throw my head back. Bill pulled away and lifted the shirt up and off, staring at my failure to wear a bra, cause I hadn’t even bothered in dressing up.

William wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer, kissing me deeply as I threw my arms around his neck, stroking his shoulders and tangling my fingers in his hair, tugging lightly.

“I miss you…” He whispered in my ear, his hands dropping to my hips and then my thighs, making me wrap them around him. I didn’t answer, instead I cupped his face and kissed him again while he gripped my butt and carried me to the bed, laying me there slowly without breaking the kiss.

I had stopped fighting with myself and the part of me that was screaming for me to pull away and get the fuck out was now quiet. I’d have to deal with it later, now I was going to enjoy this. I missed him, I wanted him, I [i]needed[/i] him. And if this is the last time we’re going to be together, then I would make him remember me.

I didn’t even notice when we were completely naked, me wrapped around him, him filling me up to the hilt, moving in and out slowly, trying to make it last. His head was buried in the crook of my neck, his hot and ragged breath falling in my skin sending shivers all over my body as I clung to his back, bucking my hips to him urging him to go faster. And he complied, hooking the back of my knee with one hand and lifting my body slightly up with the other. Pressing his forehead against mine, William stared at me and I just couldn’t take it. The feeling ripping me apart was the best and the most painful thing ever at the same time.

I couldn’t recall the last time we had that much sex, used to escape to the bus when no one was there or having quickies backstage. Hotel nights weren’t a constant and even when we had one, we were never alone or didn’t have enough time. Not even talking about the breaks, when we wouldn’t see each other for weeks. Nights like this were sacred and always awesome, I wasn’t going to waste it, as bad as I felt.

‘I miss you’ and ‘I need you’ fell out of his mouth more than once, but I never said anything back. Not even the times he pleaded for me to stay I said something. I just couldn’t.

“Please, don’t go.” William begged with the last breath he had, before collapsing on top of me. The only thing we could hear was our panting. “Please…” He said wrapping his arms around my body and squeezing me close to him. I did the same. “Is there anything I can say or do to make you stay?” He asked hopefully. My first thought was to say no, but I’d be lying. I didn’t care about lying anymore.

“Tell me you love me and I’ll stay.” I said softly, already dropping my hands from his back. I closed my eyes and bit my lip, holding my breath waiting for an answer.

An answer that never came. As the silence stretched in the room, I pushed William off me and retrieved from the bed, getting my clothes back on. I heard him sit on the bed and I could feel his stare, but I didn’t turn. I was getting my shoes on when he dared to speak again.

“Tay…” His raspy and choked voice broke the silence.

“It’s over. There’s nothing left for me here.”

I stepped out of the room without even a glance to him and I let the door close on it own. I slowly walked to the elevators, somewhere between lightheaded and blinded. It felt like I got a weight off my shoulders, but it felt cold and weird and empty. And still, relieved, cause in more than one occasion I doubted I was capable of doing this. I did it. It hurts like a bitch and I know it will take time to heal and shit, but I did it.

With that thought and feeling a little better, I headed downstairs. After all, what better way to celebrate than having a drink?