FicWad

Frankie,

This is the hardest letter I have ever had to write. Mainly because I know what will happen when you read it. I can picture you now, your beautiful chocolate eyes reading what is written. My thoughts, my feelings, I’m writing them here, just for you. So you know how I feel, how I feel when I see you everyday at band practice, how I feel when you smile and hug me when you say goodbye. I know that will all change by the time you’ve read this letter, you’ll probably freak out and rip it in half, I’ll be surprised if you turn up to band practice at all tomorrow. I don’t care though, I need to tell you this.

From the first day in high school, do you remember that? I do, like it was yesterday. I remember you, with your died hair and lip ring that always shimmered in the light. You still have that now, your shining jewel. Anyway. From that day, I’ve always felt the same.

I won’t go into it all, you know our past, I guess what I’m trying to say is, Frankie, my dear, sweet little Frankie, I love you. I always have, always will. I know you don’t feel the same, I’ve accepted that, which is why I’m moving to Los Angeles, it breaks my heart to see you each day and know I can’t hold you in my arms like I’ve always wanted. It’s better this way, for me and for you, this way you can just forget about the selfish bastard who ruined your life by telling you how he felt. I just want you to know, that no matter how much you’ll want to forget me, I could never forget you sugar, never.

Forever yours,

G
xoxo.

I held the letter tightly in my hands, in fear of anyone reading it, even though I was alone. It was getting late and I could barely stop the tears from flowing, I had to give him this letter, it was the only way to soothe my broken heart. As I walked down Franks street my hands began shaking as I knew his house was near. I carried on walking, all the way up the drive to his front door. I put it through the letterbox, nearly having a heartattack when I heard my name being called from behind. Shit. He said he’d gone out!

‘Gerard! Gerard!’ He called, racing up the drive, oh God, that voice, it was like an angels. I smiled as I heard him, if only he knew how much I was breaking inside.

‘Hey Frankie, I- I thought you were out?’ I asked, hoping that he’d magically turn on his heel and leave, leaving me to deliver the letter in piece. I took it out of the letterbox and held it behind my back secretly.

‘I was, but the club was a drag, Jamia wasn’t even there!’ He said, talking about the waitress he’d met there the other week and had taken a shine to. ‘So, what brings you round here?’ He asked, looking at me with shining eyes. I nearly cried at the truth of my presence but kept a brave face for him.

‘I- um… I was just going to see if you were in… But I got here and… And remembered you weren’t so I was going to leave, but… But now you are here, so… Hey!’ I did my best to sound convincing, hell, I even thought Frankie was staring to believe me. He seemed pretty convinced with my story, when suddenly he said something that made my heart nearly burst out my chest.

‘What’s that?’ He asked, meaning the letter. I quickly hid it.

‘Oh, nothing, just, um…’ I blushed.

‘Well, if it’s nothing…’ Frank moved closer. ‘Then you won’t mind me having a look!’ He grabbed the letter out of my hand, ignoring my screams of protest as he headed quickly round his house to the back garden. I ran as fast as I could after him, tripping over almost right in front of him as he opened the black envelope.

‘Please Frankie don’t-‘ I got up, going to take the letter but froze as he started to read it aloud. I went a shocking shade of crimson and started to back away into the night.

‘Wait.’ He said, finishing the letter in silence. We were still only a foot or two apart and he came over, looking at me with those same twinkling eyes. ‘Is this how you feel?’ He asked, watching me nod. ‘You still want to leave?’ I nodded again. He stepped closer, softly saying ‘Even though I feel like this too?’ I looked at him again, his beautiful complexion shining in the now moonlight. He smiled at me, watching me smile back before tiptoeing up and kissing me softly on the lips. He was about to pull away, receiving no reaction from me when my hands drifted to his waist and held him there, working my lips slowly against his.

He broke after a while, shivering at the cold air. ‘So, you’re not leaving then?’ He asked worriedly. I gave him a kiss on the nose, the warmth of my lips giving him goose bumps,

‘Hell no, I have everything I could ever want right here.’

‘What, right here in Belleville?’ I wrapped my arms round his lower back, caressing through his jacket.

‘Nope, right here’ I pointed to the ground ‘with you.’