Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco

Drugs In My Brain

by iamthelolrus 4 reviews

Sequel to Orange Juice. Ryan and Brendon take acid again. Chaos ensues. Slash. Ryden.

Category: Panic! At The Disco - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Humor - Published: 2009-03-19 - Updated: 2009-03-19 - 727 words - Complete

1Funny
After the orange juice incident, which Ryan was very embarrassed about, it took a lot of convincing to get him to do acid again. Brendon was fortunate to have one of the cutest pouts ever, however, so eventually Ryan did give in.

At first, things went fine, like they had the first time. Ryan did try to have sex with the kitchen table because he thought it was Brendon, and Brendon broke a lamp trying to communicate with the Cobra since they had all spent way too much time with Gabe Saporta lately, but other than that, things were relatively alright.

It started to get a little worse when Ryan started hopping around the house shouting, “I lost my leg in the war! I lost my leg in the war!”

Brendon tried to convince him he still had it with “Dude, it’s right there!” and “You are way too much of a hippie to have ever gone to war,” but Ryan didn’t listen. Finally Brendon ended up telling him he wouldn’t have sex with a paraplegic and Ryan gave in and admitted he hadn’t actually lost his leg in the war. And since they did end up having sex right away, it wasn’t as bad as the orange juice incident.

After that, though, Ryan decided that they had to go to the CVS down the street to buy some tampons because he had his period. At first, Brendon tried to get him to realize that it really wasn’t necessary, but Ryan wasn’t listening. Besides, the clocks were all giving Brendon weird looks and he needed and excuse to leave anyway.

The walk to the store was relatively calm, although Brendon did chase down a five-year-old girl because he thought she stole his shoe, which turned out to be his foot anyway.

By the time they got to the store, Brendon had completely forgotten why they had even gone. “So why are we here?” he asked.

“Uh. I don’t know!” Ryan said, and then he started talking off his clothes.

“I don’t think you can do that here,” Brendon said.

Ryan giggled. “I can do your mom here!” he said, still taking his clothes off.

“But not naked!” Brendon argued.

Ryan finished taking off his clothes and ran into the store. Brendon went after him. Ryan started to run around the store, screaming, “There’s drugs in my brain! Drugs in my brain!”

Brendon chased after him but as he ran down the aisle he was confronted by a large cardboard cut of the Green Giant.

“You never eat your veggies, Brendon!” the Green Giant said menacingly, growing in size as he spoke.

Brendon screamed like a little girl and searched frantically for some way to defend himself from the Giant. He found an abnormally long loaf of bread and used it was a club to beat down the Green Giant.

Once the Giant was defeated, Brendon quickly resumed his search for Ryan. It turned out Ryan was at the front of the store, being forced back into his clothes by a cop.

“Oh motherfucking Jesus Jewish monkey shit Chirst!” Brendon exclaimed, and ran over to Ryan.

“Officer, I think you made a mistake,” Brendon said.

“He was running around the store naked screaming, “There’s drugs in my brain,” the cop pointed out. “I’m pretty sure I didn’t make a mistake.”

Brendon tried to think of any way to distract him. “Hitler’s penis!” Brendon yelled, and then he grabbed Ryan’s arm and pulled him out of the store before the cop could react.

“Dude, you saved my life!” Ryan exclaimed. “That dinosaur was gonna eat me!”

“Oh my God, and I thought he was a cop. That was such a great disguise,” Brendon said.

They both ran until they ended up at a park.

“Whoa, look, Brendon! There’s a magical land of dildos, right there!” Ryan said.

“Where?” Brendon asked.

“In there!” Ryan said, pointing to the playground in the park.

“Let’s go have sex there!” Brendon said. “Cause the Cobra told me if we do it will be the best sex ever.”

“Okay!” Ryan agreed.

Later, they both woke up to find themselves naked in the middle of the playground with a bunch of traumatized looking children staring down at them.
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