Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Skeptics and True Believers
Taylor’s POV
I didn’t even notice Bill’s presence in the van till we arrived to the venue and Jon shook Ryan (and me) awake. For such a bony kid he surely was comfortable to sleep on… I shrugged and stretched my arms as William got off the van heavily, enough for me to know he was hangover. My first instinct was to get him aspirin and coke, then I remembered he could get those himself from now on. Ryan nudged me and I stepped down the van, waving slightly to him and going to set up the merch post.
Between yawns and eye rubs I managed to get it set, slower than usual but at least the job was done. I couldn’t believe I’d say this, but I was going to miss it. The touring, the boxes, packing and repacking…
With another yawn I was really considering to lie inside one of the boxes and get a nap when Natalie came nearly skipping to the post and sat on the table.
“Salutations, my friend!” She said with a chuckle. I raised an eyebrow.
“Did you lose your spaceship or what?”
“Huh? Are you calling me an alien?” She asked confused. Seriously, I loved this girl, but sometimes she’s just… dumb.
“Basically…” I said with another yawn. “Where is your spacemate?”
“Meet and greet?” She shrugged “I think. I don’t keep tabs on him!”
“I see…” I laid my head on the table. “So how did it go last night? Apart from the obvious sex…”
“And what makes you think we had sex? We’re just two kids who know how to have fun.” Nat giggled and balanced her legs like a little kid. She had to be kidding me… I slid my shades down my nose and stared at her raising an eyebrow.
“The only person here with an IQ lower than 50 is you, Nat.”
“Fuck off.” She said rolling her eyes and making me snort. “Who pissed in your cereal this morning?”
“No one, I’m just being mean to you for all I won’t be able to after I’m gone…” I finished the phrase with another yawn. I realized I was going to miss that slut too.
“I’m in the same boat, remember? I’m supposed to be leaving too. What happened with Ryan?”
“Nothing, we went back to the room, got drunk and talked till we fell asleep.” As I spoke I grabbed the nearest shirt pile and put my head on it comfortably. Then, something Ryan said last night came back to my mind. “Not all of us share the luck to be invited to Europe.” I added with a smirk. Nat’s jaw dropped open, gaping like a fish.
“How the hell do you know about that?”
“Duh… Who do you think told me?” I looked at her again. “Question is, what did you answer?”
“I haven’t. I’m not sure yet...” She faced the floor, looking at her swinging legs.
“I’m not even asking if you want to go, cause that’s kind of obvious… What’s keeping you?”
“I’m not doing this all over again.” She sighed. And I couldn’t blame her really. “I mean, I know we’re friends, but he asked me AFTER we spent the night together. What am I supposed to think?”
“Nat, Brendon really, REALLY likes you. He’s wanted to ask you for ages! And treats you a whole lot better than that other twat you were with. Why don’t you talk to him? Set things straight…”
“Because I seriously don’t want to be there just to be his concubine! They have a full crew already. I don’t know how the other guys feel and then the fans…” She said with a shudder, lowering her voice and glancing around like someone could hear us. “They are so evil.” I chuckled, remembering something I read on the internet about Panic and their evil fandom of doom.
I shook my head. “That’s why I said TALK TO HIM. Not fuck him in a bathroom or fuck him in the plane or fuck him all over Europe. Talk to him and ask him what intentions does he have. Besides, he already knows what happened with Carden, so I don’t think he’s up for the same thing.”
“But I’ll be alone.” She said with a groan and a pout. “No girl company!”
“Spencer will be there.” I laughed.
“Spencer is tainted. Me and Bren caught him fapping on the phone with Haley a few days ago.” Nat giggled along, making me gag cause I did not need that piece of information, really.
“Well, Bren is gay enough to be your girlfriend and straight enough to be your boyfriend. You’re covered.” I got back to be comfy on top of the shirt pile. Nat sighed.
“Why are you trying to talk me into this when you won’t even be there for me to yell at after the first fight?” She said in a pitiful tone. I looked at her and smirked.
“Are you saying you’re going to miss me?”
“Of course I’ll miss my bedmate! Who am I going to keep warm with now?” She said at if it was something scandalous that I wouldn’t be sharing a bed with her anymore. Some crew guys were walking by and definitively heard her, giving us funny looks. Nat turned a little red and I laughed out loud.
“Brendon, by instance!” I added between giggles. “Still, what are you going to do instead? Go home and get bored? I won’t be there either... and I’d pick Brendon over me too. I ain’t buying a strap-on…” I deadpanned and Nat laughed again.
“You’re right.” She said “Ugh, I’ll go. I can spy on Ryan for you too.” She added slyly.
“Yeah, you do that”
“You just be prepared to listen to my rants when I call.”
“I’ll be... and let you talk by yourself and do something else in the meantime.” I giggled. Nat didn’t find it that amusing.
“Haha. I guess I should go find him and give him my answer.”
“You should…” Back to the shirt pile, I heard Nat hop off the table. She took a breath and lowered her head to where I was, whispering.
“And, holy fuck, have you seen Bill today? He looks like shit.”
I didn’t need her to tell me that, I had already seen enough to know how he was. But that didn’t stop the cold feeling in my chest. “I haven’t and I don’t want to…”
“Yeah, right, sorry.” She muttered and cleared her throat. “Okay so, I’ll be right back.”
Nat straightened her shirt and walked through the lot heading to the Panic dressing room. I sighed watching her walk away, thinking how much I was going to miss everything and everyone. Mike, Michael and Mikey, Tony, Chris… Even Sisky and his constant annoyingness. Even William…
But that’s over and done with, for better or worse… Only 12 hours, I said to myself. 12 hours and I’d be going back home, to start over, to stop living his life and get one of my own again. Just hold on for 12 more hours.
.~
Natalie’s POV
I trudged towards the dressing room, but I could feel eyes burning into my back. I turned around to see Mike and Sisky coming around the corner, walking behind me.
“What’s up Nat, where ya goin’?” Adam asked.
“Hey. I-”
“Looking for her boyfriend,” Mike butted in quite snobbily.
I rolled my eyes. “Fuck off.” I said, and kept walking.
“Too late!” He called after me as I found the door with “PATD” taped to the door.
I knocked softly, and Shane opened up and smiled. “Oh B... you’ve got company...”
I giggled. “Hi, Shane.”
Brendon came around the corner then, nodding to Shane, the corners of his mouth turning up when he saw me. “What’s up?” He asked, taking me by the hand and stepping outside the door.
“I’ve um… made a decision.”
He grinned and waited for my answer. “So?”
I nodded. “I’ll go. But on one condition…”
He hugged me tightly and continued to smile. “Anything!”
I bit my lip and stammered. “I don’t want to be… I don’t want to repeat history, you know? Our friendship worked Bren, and I just… It would hurt my feelings if…” I sighed. “I want more than a fuck buddy.”
He smiled sweetly and caressed my cheek. “But you ARE more than just a fuck buddy, Nat. And I would never do what that ass did to you.”
I smiled back at him shyly, and kissed his cheek, an inch or two away from his lips. “Will you protect me from your fangirls too?”
“Course I will…” Brendon smiled widely, cupping my face and kissing me sweetly. Then he pulled away and looked at me before wrapping me into his arms and kissing me deeper. I kissed him back hard, letting my hand rest at the back of his neck.
“I should let you go back to practice, right?”
“Whatever…” He mumbled against my lips.
I stifled a giggle and pressed my body a little closer, pushing his back against the wall of the slender hallway.
We kissed until we were interrupted. Rudely.
“Excuse us. We’d like to get through now.” William said, still looking like shit, except giving me the evil eye with Mike the moron behind him.
Brendon glared at both before giving me his full attention again. “Yeah, I better get back or Ryan’ll cut my balls off or something.” He kissed me once more. “Besides, we’ll have all the time in the world when we’re in Europe.”
I grinned and gave him another quick kiss. “So I’ll see you after the show then.”
He kissed me quickly and gave my butt a light squeeze before disappearing back behind the dressing room door.
“Well, isn’t that special,” William spat, folding his arms condescendingly. “Hopping from one bed right into another.”
My mouth dropped open and I stared at him in disbelief. He’d never been vicious to me, at all.
“It’s not like that, Bill. Everyone isn’t like your friend. Interested in using me for my body.” I retorted, narrowing my eyes and walking away from the outside of Panic’s door.
“Oh please. Can’t trust you, or your girlfriend Taylor.” Bill replied, getting louder. “You hopped right into Brendon’s bed from Mike’s and she hopped right into Ryan’s from mine.”
My jaw dropped.
Even Mike looked at Bill a little funny.
That’s when the door opened back up. I bit my lip and convinced myself to look up, meeting Ryan’s eyes. He looked from me, to William, to Mike, and back to me again.
He glared at William again. “How- What? You don’t have any right to say that about her. About either of them…”
“I have a right to say whatever I want. But hey, it’s not my problem that you want our leftovers.”
“More like Taylor got tired of having Christine’s leftovers.”
My eyes widened, and I saw two heads poking out of the door behind Ryan.
“Listen you little… that’s none of your business, ok?”
“Let’s just go, Bilvy... It’s not worth it.” Mike said to him.
Ryan glared at them both as they started walking away. “Asshole.” He muttered.
I sighed and shook my head. “Go inside and calm down. I’ll see you guys later.” I started to walk away, but stopped myself. “Oh, and hey Ryan,” He turned to face me. “Thanks.” I said. He smiled and nodded.
I left in a hurry, anxious to find Taylor and tell her EVERYTHING that just happened.
I ran up to the table where she was and sat in the chair beside her.
“Oh my god, guess what?”
“What? You’re leaving in your spaceship with Brendon?” She grumbled, half asleep.
“Okay, I’ll ignore that,” I scoffed rolling my eyes. “Ryan and Bill just had a ‘confrontation’.” I explained quickly.
“What?!” She exclaimed, miraculously wide awake now.
“Yeah,” I continued, picking my nails. “Bill and Mike saw Brendon and I, and well… had a few things to say. Bill did at least. But Ryan, he came out and told him he didn’t have any right saying anything about either of us.”
Taylor made fists with her hands and snarled, “What did Bill say?”
I bit my lip. I knew I had to handle this tactfully. . “Um, he called me a bed-hopper…”
“I’m guessing he didn’t say anything nicer about me.” Taylor said through clenched teeth.
I looked down. “He said he was sorry Brendon and Ryan wanted his and Mike’s leftovers… But then Ryan said you didn’t want Christine’s leftovers...”
“Damn right I don’t!” Taylor got up and started pacing. “What else did he say?”
I shrugged. “That was it, really. Except that we weren’t trustworthy. Ugh, he was being a douche.”
“He’s not saying a fucking thing about me… oh no…” Taylor was steamed. Her fists clenched and she bit her lip, jaw set angrily. She started mumbling incoherently. “He’s such a uugghh! I’m gonna give him something to talk about…” Then she faced me again. “Stay here, I’ll be right back.”
And with that she was off, stomping and fuming. The only thing that came to mind was that I was glad I wouldn’t be around to see Mt. Taylor erupt.
I didn’t even notice Bill’s presence in the van till we arrived to the venue and Jon shook Ryan (and me) awake. For such a bony kid he surely was comfortable to sleep on… I shrugged and stretched my arms as William got off the van heavily, enough for me to know he was hangover. My first instinct was to get him aspirin and coke, then I remembered he could get those himself from now on. Ryan nudged me and I stepped down the van, waving slightly to him and going to set up the merch post.
Between yawns and eye rubs I managed to get it set, slower than usual but at least the job was done. I couldn’t believe I’d say this, but I was going to miss it. The touring, the boxes, packing and repacking…
With another yawn I was really considering to lie inside one of the boxes and get a nap when Natalie came nearly skipping to the post and sat on the table.
“Salutations, my friend!” She said with a chuckle. I raised an eyebrow.
“Did you lose your spaceship or what?”
“Huh? Are you calling me an alien?” She asked confused. Seriously, I loved this girl, but sometimes she’s just… dumb.
“Basically…” I said with another yawn. “Where is your spacemate?”
“Meet and greet?” She shrugged “I think. I don’t keep tabs on him!”
“I see…” I laid my head on the table. “So how did it go last night? Apart from the obvious sex…”
“And what makes you think we had sex? We’re just two kids who know how to have fun.” Nat giggled and balanced her legs like a little kid. She had to be kidding me… I slid my shades down my nose and stared at her raising an eyebrow.
“The only person here with an IQ lower than 50 is you, Nat.”
“Fuck off.” She said rolling her eyes and making me snort. “Who pissed in your cereal this morning?”
“No one, I’m just being mean to you for all I won’t be able to after I’m gone…” I finished the phrase with another yawn. I realized I was going to miss that slut too.
“I’m in the same boat, remember? I’m supposed to be leaving too. What happened with Ryan?”
“Nothing, we went back to the room, got drunk and talked till we fell asleep.” As I spoke I grabbed the nearest shirt pile and put my head on it comfortably. Then, something Ryan said last night came back to my mind. “Not all of us share the luck to be invited to Europe.” I added with a smirk. Nat’s jaw dropped open, gaping like a fish.
“How the hell do you know about that?”
“Duh… Who do you think told me?” I looked at her again. “Question is, what did you answer?”
“I haven’t. I’m not sure yet...” She faced the floor, looking at her swinging legs.
“I’m not even asking if you want to go, cause that’s kind of obvious… What’s keeping you?”
“I’m not doing this all over again.” She sighed. And I couldn’t blame her really. “I mean, I know we’re friends, but he asked me AFTER we spent the night together. What am I supposed to think?”
“Nat, Brendon really, REALLY likes you. He’s wanted to ask you for ages! And treats you a whole lot better than that other twat you were with. Why don’t you talk to him? Set things straight…”
“Because I seriously don’t want to be there just to be his concubine! They have a full crew already. I don’t know how the other guys feel and then the fans…” She said with a shudder, lowering her voice and glancing around like someone could hear us. “They are so evil.” I chuckled, remembering something I read on the internet about Panic and their evil fandom of doom.
I shook my head. “That’s why I said TALK TO HIM. Not fuck him in a bathroom or fuck him in the plane or fuck him all over Europe. Talk to him and ask him what intentions does he have. Besides, he already knows what happened with Carden, so I don’t think he’s up for the same thing.”
“But I’ll be alone.” She said with a groan and a pout. “No girl company!”
“Spencer will be there.” I laughed.
“Spencer is tainted. Me and Bren caught him fapping on the phone with Haley a few days ago.” Nat giggled along, making me gag cause I did not need that piece of information, really.
“Well, Bren is gay enough to be your girlfriend and straight enough to be your boyfriend. You’re covered.” I got back to be comfy on top of the shirt pile. Nat sighed.
“Why are you trying to talk me into this when you won’t even be there for me to yell at after the first fight?” She said in a pitiful tone. I looked at her and smirked.
“Are you saying you’re going to miss me?”
“Of course I’ll miss my bedmate! Who am I going to keep warm with now?” She said at if it was something scandalous that I wouldn’t be sharing a bed with her anymore. Some crew guys were walking by and definitively heard her, giving us funny looks. Nat turned a little red and I laughed out loud.
“Brendon, by instance!” I added between giggles. “Still, what are you going to do instead? Go home and get bored? I won’t be there either... and I’d pick Brendon over me too. I ain’t buying a strap-on…” I deadpanned and Nat laughed again.
“You’re right.” She said “Ugh, I’ll go. I can spy on Ryan for you too.” She added slyly.
“Yeah, you do that”
“You just be prepared to listen to my rants when I call.”
“I’ll be... and let you talk by yourself and do something else in the meantime.” I giggled. Nat didn’t find it that amusing.
“Haha. I guess I should go find him and give him my answer.”
“You should…” Back to the shirt pile, I heard Nat hop off the table. She took a breath and lowered her head to where I was, whispering.
“And, holy fuck, have you seen Bill today? He looks like shit.”
I didn’t need her to tell me that, I had already seen enough to know how he was. But that didn’t stop the cold feeling in my chest. “I haven’t and I don’t want to…”
“Yeah, right, sorry.” She muttered and cleared her throat. “Okay so, I’ll be right back.”
Nat straightened her shirt and walked through the lot heading to the Panic dressing room. I sighed watching her walk away, thinking how much I was going to miss everything and everyone. Mike, Michael and Mikey, Tony, Chris… Even Sisky and his constant annoyingness. Even William…
But that’s over and done with, for better or worse… Only 12 hours, I said to myself. 12 hours and I’d be going back home, to start over, to stop living his life and get one of my own again. Just hold on for 12 more hours.
.~
Natalie’s POV
I trudged towards the dressing room, but I could feel eyes burning into my back. I turned around to see Mike and Sisky coming around the corner, walking behind me.
“What’s up Nat, where ya goin’?” Adam asked.
“Hey. I-”
“Looking for her boyfriend,” Mike butted in quite snobbily.
I rolled my eyes. “Fuck off.” I said, and kept walking.
“Too late!” He called after me as I found the door with “PATD” taped to the door.
I knocked softly, and Shane opened up and smiled. “Oh B... you’ve got company...”
I giggled. “Hi, Shane.”
Brendon came around the corner then, nodding to Shane, the corners of his mouth turning up when he saw me. “What’s up?” He asked, taking me by the hand and stepping outside the door.
“I’ve um… made a decision.”
He grinned and waited for my answer. “So?”
I nodded. “I’ll go. But on one condition…”
He hugged me tightly and continued to smile. “Anything!”
I bit my lip and stammered. “I don’t want to be… I don’t want to repeat history, you know? Our friendship worked Bren, and I just… It would hurt my feelings if…” I sighed. “I want more than a fuck buddy.”
He smiled sweetly and caressed my cheek. “But you ARE more than just a fuck buddy, Nat. And I would never do what that ass did to you.”
I smiled back at him shyly, and kissed his cheek, an inch or two away from his lips. “Will you protect me from your fangirls too?”
“Course I will…” Brendon smiled widely, cupping my face and kissing me sweetly. Then he pulled away and looked at me before wrapping me into his arms and kissing me deeper. I kissed him back hard, letting my hand rest at the back of his neck.
“I should let you go back to practice, right?”
“Whatever…” He mumbled against my lips.
I stifled a giggle and pressed my body a little closer, pushing his back against the wall of the slender hallway.
We kissed until we were interrupted. Rudely.
“Excuse us. We’d like to get through now.” William said, still looking like shit, except giving me the evil eye with Mike the moron behind him.
Brendon glared at both before giving me his full attention again. “Yeah, I better get back or Ryan’ll cut my balls off or something.” He kissed me once more. “Besides, we’ll have all the time in the world when we’re in Europe.”
I grinned and gave him another quick kiss. “So I’ll see you after the show then.”
He kissed me quickly and gave my butt a light squeeze before disappearing back behind the dressing room door.
“Well, isn’t that special,” William spat, folding his arms condescendingly. “Hopping from one bed right into another.”
My mouth dropped open and I stared at him in disbelief. He’d never been vicious to me, at all.
“It’s not like that, Bill. Everyone isn’t like your friend. Interested in using me for my body.” I retorted, narrowing my eyes and walking away from the outside of Panic’s door.
“Oh please. Can’t trust you, or your girlfriend Taylor.” Bill replied, getting louder. “You hopped right into Brendon’s bed from Mike’s and she hopped right into Ryan’s from mine.”
My jaw dropped.
Even Mike looked at Bill a little funny.
That’s when the door opened back up. I bit my lip and convinced myself to look up, meeting Ryan’s eyes. He looked from me, to William, to Mike, and back to me again.
He glared at William again. “How- What? You don’t have any right to say that about her. About either of them…”
“I have a right to say whatever I want. But hey, it’s not my problem that you want our leftovers.”
“More like Taylor got tired of having Christine’s leftovers.”
My eyes widened, and I saw two heads poking out of the door behind Ryan.
“Listen you little… that’s none of your business, ok?”
“Let’s just go, Bilvy... It’s not worth it.” Mike said to him.
Ryan glared at them both as they started walking away. “Asshole.” He muttered.
I sighed and shook my head. “Go inside and calm down. I’ll see you guys later.” I started to walk away, but stopped myself. “Oh, and hey Ryan,” He turned to face me. “Thanks.” I said. He smiled and nodded.
I left in a hurry, anxious to find Taylor and tell her EVERYTHING that just happened.
I ran up to the table where she was and sat in the chair beside her.
“Oh my god, guess what?”
“What? You’re leaving in your spaceship with Brendon?” She grumbled, half asleep.
“Okay, I’ll ignore that,” I scoffed rolling my eyes. “Ryan and Bill just had a ‘confrontation’.” I explained quickly.
“What?!” She exclaimed, miraculously wide awake now.
“Yeah,” I continued, picking my nails. “Bill and Mike saw Brendon and I, and well… had a few things to say. Bill did at least. But Ryan, he came out and told him he didn’t have any right saying anything about either of us.”
Taylor made fists with her hands and snarled, “What did Bill say?”
I bit my lip. I knew I had to handle this tactfully. . “Um, he called me a bed-hopper…”
“I’m guessing he didn’t say anything nicer about me.” Taylor said through clenched teeth.
I looked down. “He said he was sorry Brendon and Ryan wanted his and Mike’s leftovers… But then Ryan said you didn’t want Christine’s leftovers...”
“Damn right I don’t!” Taylor got up and started pacing. “What else did he say?”
I shrugged. “That was it, really. Except that we weren’t trustworthy. Ugh, he was being a douche.”
“He’s not saying a fucking thing about me… oh no…” Taylor was steamed. Her fists clenched and she bit her lip, jaw set angrily. She started mumbling incoherently. “He’s such a uugghh! I’m gonna give him something to talk about…” Then she faced me again. “Stay here, I’ll be right back.”
And with that she was off, stomping and fuming. The only thing that came to mind was that I was glad I wouldn’t be around to see Mt. Taylor erupt.
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