Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > I'm Not One For Love Songs
I'm Not One For Love Songs (Part 2)
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Still 2 Years Ago
He was heading my way so I did the one thing I could do, I jumped on stage.
My shift was starting in like 5 minutes anyways, and we were short a girl tonight, so I’m sure my boss wouldn’t mind.
HE looked shocked when he realized that I was one of the dancers, and not just a waitress or bartender or something. They only made about half of, or maybe less, than what I make a night.
I just danced and ignored his presence for the 10 minutes that the first two songs played. When the third song was starting I noticed that he had taken a seat right in front of my pole and was looking very intrigued.
What the fuck was her doing here?
Of all the stripper joints in all the world…
Outrageous by Britney Spears came on through the speakers and I decided to take the pole right in front of him.
I swung around once and winked at him, I knew I had his full attention.
The intense gaze of his would have unnerved anyone else, but not me. For the next hour I stayed parker right in front of him.
He must’ve tossed at least a few hundred dollars on stage. Yes, tossed it onto the stage. We had strict rules at Sal’s- number one was that you were never allowed to touch the dancers. If you did, then you were immediately thrown out by one of the security guys.
What could this guy be doing for a living that gives him the freedom to throw that kind of money at a stripper?
When my break came I went backstage and went to go ask Sal if there were any requests. When you were done up stage you usually had requests from certain guys for lapdances.
It cost them big bucks though, $150 for 25 minutes.
And they were not allowed to touch the dancers, but we could touch them.
Sal came backstage and rushed over to me.
“There’s a guy here requesting a private room with you and a dance and he’s willing to pay very big bucks for it, VERY big bucks,” he told me excitedly.
“How much would that be?” I asked curiously.
“800 dollars for a half hour,” he screamed happily and started doing a jig.
“Sal, what is wrong with you?” I asked.
“Nothing dear, nothing at all. Just keep him happy, do what you have to,” he insinuated, “we need customers like him to stick around.”
I did not miss the hint he gave me. Do what you have to. I guess he bent the rules when it came to big spenders.
“Sal…” I said unsurely.
“Babycakes, if you do this you can have to rest of your shift off and you’ll get paid for those two hours in full,” he offered, trying to get me to bite the bait.
I sighed exhaustedly, “Fine, who is it?”
“He said that he would rather stay anonymous.”
I just shook my head in disbelief and frowned disapprovingly as I walked to the private room. When I entered I closed the door and locked it behind me. He was already sitting comfortably on the red couch in the red room covered with mirrors.
“Hello sir,” I said playing dumb.
“Hello Natalia Nichols. Don’t play dumb with me, you know exactly who I am,” he chuckled.
I gave up the act, “What do you want Gabe?”
“Just a nice little lapdance,” he said simply, smirking.
Now I’ll clear a few things up, Gabe and me had gone to high school together. I was the bookworm who kept to myself and had no friends and he was Mr. Outgoing who everybody loved. The only ones who didn’t love him were the ones who were jealous of him. I was invisible, except for times he chose to tease me. He was an asshole. He would always make sexual jokes refuse to leave me alone. That was the last thing I needed then when my life had been how it was. I would go from his harassing at school, to 9 hours of hard work after school, to going home to get beaten by my father and degraded even lower.
Let’s just say that he wasn’t my favorite person. I hate every single person I went to school with. That’s why I didn’t bother going to graduation. After finals I got my diploma from the principal and left, with no goodbyes to anyone. Did I mention that even though I hated Gabe Saporta with every fiber of my being that I was hopelessly in ‘like’ with him.
Yeah, how pathetic is that?
I met Jacey the night I got into the city and we clicked from there and decided to move in together.
I just shook my head, “There are rules you know. No touching,” I told him seriously.
“My new buddy Sal told me to go ahead and disregard the ‘rules’ with the amount that I’m paying for this little session,” he told me cockily.
“I fucking hate you,” I told him nastily.
“You know that’s not true baby, you love me,” he said winking.
“Fuck you,” I snapped.
“Exactly what you’ll be doing soon,” he threw back at me.
“This is a strip club, NOT a whore house,” I reminded him.
“I’m already paying too much for you hun, so you better give up everything you’ve got to offer,” he demanded.
I knew I had to do whatever he said or else I’d lose my job. I couldn’t afford that. I’d heard that Sal had let this kind of thing happen sometimes, but I never thought that I’d actually be put in this situation.
I felt the tears welling up but I knew I had to keep them in. I’d been through a lot more than this, and I’d come out even stronger. This shouldn’t be as big of a deal as I’m making it. But, I’m a virgin. This was not how I thought I would end up losing it.
He gestured with his hand for me to come closer. I knew that I had to start. The sooner it started, the sooner it would be over.
I walked over to him and climbed over his lap. His hands went to my hips.
I think you know what happened after that.
45 Minutes Later
I was laying on the bed 5 feet away from the couch covered merely with a red blanket. I can’t believe I lost my virginity.
I lost it to Gabe Saporta, the asshole from high school. I held in my tears.
His arm was laying heavily on my hip, I couldn’t move out of his grasp.
“So, what landed you here?” he asked, trying to make conversation.
“You need to pay the bills somehow,” I answered evenly.
“But who would of thought that Natalia the little bookworm from high school would end up in a whore house,” he chuckled.
“Shut the fuck up, we don’t all have choices. You need to do what you need to do,” I snapped at him.
“And what exactly do your parents think about this?” he asked smirking.
“I haven’t had a mother since I was 12 and she left me with my drunken and drugged up abusive father,” I told him getting up to dress in the few items of clothing that I did have.
It was then that I noticed that the sheets were stained, with blood. I heard that happened when some girls lost it, but I didn’t expect that it would happen to me.
Hopefully he wouldn’t notice. It wasn’t like it was that big or obvious though, so I was pretty safe.
He was looking at me seriously, “Wait, what?”
“You heard me. I’m not repeating myself. Next time you torment some poor girl, get a glimpse at her fucking life first,” he seemed speechless so I continued, “I bet you didn’t know that I had to wake up at five in the morning and walk 45 minutes to school because I couldn’t afford a car or bus fair. I bet that you didn’t know that I had to work from 3:30 right after school to 12:30 in the morning during the week and from 8:00 in the morning to 2:00 in the morning during the week because I had to support myself and my abusive asshole of a father. I bet you didn’t know that this little bookworm worked her ass off and that my GPA was a 3.8 when we graduated and that I got a partial scholarship to Lansford University because of all of my hard work. I bet you didn’t know that I’m going to school to become a nurse and that this is not the only job that I have to work to pay for tuition, rent, and all the other necessities that I have to pay for. You didn’t know that did you?” I ranted and screamed at him.
“No, I-” he shook his head, eyes full of sympathy and regret.
“NO! I don’t wanna hear it! And I do not want to see sympathy in your eyes. People have it worse off then me. I’m fucking doing what I have to do to make something of myself and I deserve no sympathy for that,” I told him harshly.
“I just want to say-” he started again.
“NO. You got my fucking virginity tonight, what else do you fucking want from me?!” I screamed frustrated.
He actually gasped and looked down at the sheets and his mouth dropped and I don’t think it would be possible for his eyes to get any wider than they did when he saw the blood on the sheets.
He jumped up pulling his boxers on and rushed towards me.
“I didn’t mean to- I-I didn’t know! I just-” he stuttered.
“Whatever Gabe, whatever,” I said sadly and shook my head at him.
He went to go touch me and I flinched away. I walked towards the door as he reached out to grab me again, he stood there speechless.
“Natalia…”
I sighed, “Yes Gabe?”
“I’m sorry,” he said seriously.
“For some reason, I just don’t believe that,” I responded and walked out without looking back at him.
I knew that he was sorry though. But it’s easier to be angry than forgiving. And just this once, I was going to take the easy way out.
I felt his eyes on me until I turned the corner and was out of his life once again.
Present Time
It’s now two years later and I finally obtained my nursing degree with only a debt of about $8,000 left. I work at a pretty popular hospital in the city, St. Bernard’s. I’ve been working here since a week after I got my license and the day that I quit Sal’s.
It’s been 1 year and 7 months since then and it’s now December. It’s December 30th to be exact. Yes, I am working on New Year’s Eve while Jacey is out with her boyfriend partying it up. But hey, it was my choice. They offered overtime pay on top of working a deadshift. It was good money, and who was I to turn it down?
I hadn’t seen Gabe since then.
Not that it bothered me. What really bothered me was not knowing whether or not that statement was a lie or not.
I sighed as May the old nurses team captain of our ward looked at my worriedly.
“What wrong deary? Are you feeling alright?” she asked me.
May had pretty much taken me under her wing since the day I met her. I may be 23, but no one is ever too old for a real mother figure in their life. She was in her late 50’s and had never settled down and was unable to have children of her own. When I asked her why she had never gotten married she answered saying, ‘Deary, some people have to wait a little longer than others to find that special someone. And I am a very patient person.’ She was the one person I looked up to more than anyone in the world.
“Oh I’m fine May, don’t worry about me,” I reassured her.
Suddenly people were rushing in with a stretcher, “What is it?” I called to one of the nurses.
“Nat! Come here! We’re gonna need your help with this one, we’re short on people,” the middle-aged nurse Barbara called to me.
“Coming!” I rushed to follow them as they had the person in a breathing mask.
“What is it?” I asked, referring to the patient.
“Attempted suicide they suspect. He tried to overdose on whatever pills he could find in his cabinet, his friend found him unconscious on the bathroom floor when he was coming by to see why he wasn’t answering calls. We need to pump his stomach immediately,” she rushed out.
“Do you think he’ll be okay?” I asked as we rushed to transport him onto the bed.
“I really don’t know Nat, but we need to rush to make sure he even has a chance,” she said as a breathing tube was inserted and they did the mandatory precautions as his stomach was pumped.
I finally got to see his face.
Oh my God. It was Gabe.
He was heading my way so I did the one thing I could do, I jumped on stage.
My shift was starting in like 5 minutes anyways, and we were short a girl tonight, so I’m sure my boss wouldn’t mind.
HE looked shocked when he realized that I was one of the dancers, and not just a waitress or bartender or something. They only made about half of, or maybe less, than what I make a night.
I just danced and ignored his presence for the 10 minutes that the first two songs played. When the third song was starting I noticed that he had taken a seat right in front of my pole and was looking very intrigued.
What the fuck was her doing here?
Of all the stripper joints in all the world…
Outrageous by Britney Spears came on through the speakers and I decided to take the pole right in front of him.
I swung around once and winked at him, I knew I had his full attention.
The intense gaze of his would have unnerved anyone else, but not me. For the next hour I stayed parker right in front of him.
He must’ve tossed at least a few hundred dollars on stage. Yes, tossed it onto the stage. We had strict rules at Sal’s- number one was that you were never allowed to touch the dancers. If you did, then you were immediately thrown out by one of the security guys.
What could this guy be doing for a living that gives him the freedom to throw that kind of money at a stripper?
When my break came I went backstage and went to go ask Sal if there were any requests. When you were done up stage you usually had requests from certain guys for lapdances.
It cost them big bucks though, $150 for 25 minutes.
And they were not allowed to touch the dancers, but we could touch them.
Sal came backstage and rushed over to me.
“There’s a guy here requesting a private room with you and a dance and he’s willing to pay very big bucks for it, VERY big bucks,” he told me excitedly.
“How much would that be?” I asked curiously.
“800 dollars for a half hour,” he screamed happily and started doing a jig.
“Sal, what is wrong with you?” I asked.
“Nothing dear, nothing at all. Just keep him happy, do what you have to,” he insinuated, “we need customers like him to stick around.”
I did not miss the hint he gave me. Do what you have to. I guess he bent the rules when it came to big spenders.
“Sal…” I said unsurely.
“Babycakes, if you do this you can have to rest of your shift off and you’ll get paid for those two hours in full,” he offered, trying to get me to bite the bait.
I sighed exhaustedly, “Fine, who is it?”
“He said that he would rather stay anonymous.”
I just shook my head in disbelief and frowned disapprovingly as I walked to the private room. When I entered I closed the door and locked it behind me. He was already sitting comfortably on the red couch in the red room covered with mirrors.
“Hello sir,” I said playing dumb.
“Hello Natalia Nichols. Don’t play dumb with me, you know exactly who I am,” he chuckled.
I gave up the act, “What do you want Gabe?”
“Just a nice little lapdance,” he said simply, smirking.
Now I’ll clear a few things up, Gabe and me had gone to high school together. I was the bookworm who kept to myself and had no friends and he was Mr. Outgoing who everybody loved. The only ones who didn’t love him were the ones who were jealous of him. I was invisible, except for times he chose to tease me. He was an asshole. He would always make sexual jokes refuse to leave me alone. That was the last thing I needed then when my life had been how it was. I would go from his harassing at school, to 9 hours of hard work after school, to going home to get beaten by my father and degraded even lower.
Let’s just say that he wasn’t my favorite person. I hate every single person I went to school with. That’s why I didn’t bother going to graduation. After finals I got my diploma from the principal and left, with no goodbyes to anyone. Did I mention that even though I hated Gabe Saporta with every fiber of my being that I was hopelessly in ‘like’ with him.
Yeah, how pathetic is that?
I met Jacey the night I got into the city and we clicked from there and decided to move in together.
I just shook my head, “There are rules you know. No touching,” I told him seriously.
“My new buddy Sal told me to go ahead and disregard the ‘rules’ with the amount that I’m paying for this little session,” he told me cockily.
“I fucking hate you,” I told him nastily.
“You know that’s not true baby, you love me,” he said winking.
“Fuck you,” I snapped.
“Exactly what you’ll be doing soon,” he threw back at me.
“This is a strip club, NOT a whore house,” I reminded him.
“I’m already paying too much for you hun, so you better give up everything you’ve got to offer,” he demanded.
I knew I had to do whatever he said or else I’d lose my job. I couldn’t afford that. I’d heard that Sal had let this kind of thing happen sometimes, but I never thought that I’d actually be put in this situation.
I felt the tears welling up but I knew I had to keep them in. I’d been through a lot more than this, and I’d come out even stronger. This shouldn’t be as big of a deal as I’m making it. But, I’m a virgin. This was not how I thought I would end up losing it.
He gestured with his hand for me to come closer. I knew that I had to start. The sooner it started, the sooner it would be over.
I walked over to him and climbed over his lap. His hands went to my hips.
I think you know what happened after that.
45 Minutes Later
I was laying on the bed 5 feet away from the couch covered merely with a red blanket. I can’t believe I lost my virginity.
I lost it to Gabe Saporta, the asshole from high school. I held in my tears.
His arm was laying heavily on my hip, I couldn’t move out of his grasp.
“So, what landed you here?” he asked, trying to make conversation.
“You need to pay the bills somehow,” I answered evenly.
“But who would of thought that Natalia the little bookworm from high school would end up in a whore house,” he chuckled.
“Shut the fuck up, we don’t all have choices. You need to do what you need to do,” I snapped at him.
“And what exactly do your parents think about this?” he asked smirking.
“I haven’t had a mother since I was 12 and she left me with my drunken and drugged up abusive father,” I told him getting up to dress in the few items of clothing that I did have.
It was then that I noticed that the sheets were stained, with blood. I heard that happened when some girls lost it, but I didn’t expect that it would happen to me.
Hopefully he wouldn’t notice. It wasn’t like it was that big or obvious though, so I was pretty safe.
He was looking at me seriously, “Wait, what?”
“You heard me. I’m not repeating myself. Next time you torment some poor girl, get a glimpse at her fucking life first,” he seemed speechless so I continued, “I bet you didn’t know that I had to wake up at five in the morning and walk 45 minutes to school because I couldn’t afford a car or bus fair. I bet that you didn’t know that I had to work from 3:30 right after school to 12:30 in the morning during the week and from 8:00 in the morning to 2:00 in the morning during the week because I had to support myself and my abusive asshole of a father. I bet you didn’t know that this little bookworm worked her ass off and that my GPA was a 3.8 when we graduated and that I got a partial scholarship to Lansford University because of all of my hard work. I bet you didn’t know that I’m going to school to become a nurse and that this is not the only job that I have to work to pay for tuition, rent, and all the other necessities that I have to pay for. You didn’t know that did you?” I ranted and screamed at him.
“No, I-” he shook his head, eyes full of sympathy and regret.
“NO! I don’t wanna hear it! And I do not want to see sympathy in your eyes. People have it worse off then me. I’m fucking doing what I have to do to make something of myself and I deserve no sympathy for that,” I told him harshly.
“I just want to say-” he started again.
“NO. You got my fucking virginity tonight, what else do you fucking want from me?!” I screamed frustrated.
He actually gasped and looked down at the sheets and his mouth dropped and I don’t think it would be possible for his eyes to get any wider than they did when he saw the blood on the sheets.
He jumped up pulling his boxers on and rushed towards me.
“I didn’t mean to- I-I didn’t know! I just-” he stuttered.
“Whatever Gabe, whatever,” I said sadly and shook my head at him.
He went to go touch me and I flinched away. I walked towards the door as he reached out to grab me again, he stood there speechless.
“Natalia…”
I sighed, “Yes Gabe?”
“I’m sorry,” he said seriously.
“For some reason, I just don’t believe that,” I responded and walked out without looking back at him.
I knew that he was sorry though. But it’s easier to be angry than forgiving. And just this once, I was going to take the easy way out.
I felt his eyes on me until I turned the corner and was out of his life once again.
Present Time
It’s now two years later and I finally obtained my nursing degree with only a debt of about $8,000 left. I work at a pretty popular hospital in the city, St. Bernard’s. I’ve been working here since a week after I got my license and the day that I quit Sal’s.
It’s been 1 year and 7 months since then and it’s now December. It’s December 30th to be exact. Yes, I am working on New Year’s Eve while Jacey is out with her boyfriend partying it up. But hey, it was my choice. They offered overtime pay on top of working a deadshift. It was good money, and who was I to turn it down?
I hadn’t seen Gabe since then.
Not that it bothered me. What really bothered me was not knowing whether or not that statement was a lie or not.
I sighed as May the old nurses team captain of our ward looked at my worriedly.
“What wrong deary? Are you feeling alright?” she asked me.
May had pretty much taken me under her wing since the day I met her. I may be 23, but no one is ever too old for a real mother figure in their life. She was in her late 50’s and had never settled down and was unable to have children of her own. When I asked her why she had never gotten married she answered saying, ‘Deary, some people have to wait a little longer than others to find that special someone. And I am a very patient person.’ She was the one person I looked up to more than anyone in the world.
“Oh I’m fine May, don’t worry about me,” I reassured her.
Suddenly people were rushing in with a stretcher, “What is it?” I called to one of the nurses.
“Nat! Come here! We’re gonna need your help with this one, we’re short on people,” the middle-aged nurse Barbara called to me.
“Coming!” I rushed to follow them as they had the person in a breathing mask.
“What is it?” I asked, referring to the patient.
“Attempted suicide they suspect. He tried to overdose on whatever pills he could find in his cabinet, his friend found him unconscious on the bathroom floor when he was coming by to see why he wasn’t answering calls. We need to pump his stomach immediately,” she rushed out.
“Do you think he’ll be okay?” I asked as we rushed to transport him onto the bed.
“I really don’t know Nat, but we need to rush to make sure he even has a chance,” she said as a breathing tube was inserted and they did the mandatory precautions as his stomach was pumped.
I finally got to see his face.
Oh my God. It was Gabe.
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