Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Behind the Smile

Chapter 4

by lisa_lou 12 reviews

A bad dream...

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: G - Genres: Angst,Drama - Characters: Gerard Way - Published: 2009-04-27 - Updated: 2009-04-27 - 1470 words

Hey guys, so I had kinda given up on this for one reason and the other but I thought I’d give it one last shot at posting.

Gerard’s POV

I was bored. I didn’t know what city I was in but I’d decided it was built for adults not eight year olds, there was nothing of interest here for me, no toy shops, no comic books, nothing. Mom had dragged me round shop after shop with her and her friend Tracy before finally announcing that it was time to go. They had a lot of shopping bags so it was decided that we would be taking a taxi back, of which I was a little bummed about, I quite liked ridding the busses.

I kicked at a stone near my foot, trying to find something to amuse my self with that wouldn’t get me in trouble, and heard a dull clank from my left. The stone had hit what looked like some old metal railing, the kind you some times found at the side of a road to keep kids on the pavement. I smiled, they looked like fun. Giving my mom a quick glance to see if she would mind, she was busy talking so I took that as a no, I ran over to my new found toy. I thought it was kind of like a climbing frame and if I put my feet in between the railings, just like that, I was sure I could push my self up to lean over the top of it. Ah yes, I could.

I was hanging over the top of the railing enjoying the feeling of the blood running to my head when the taxi eventually turned up. Bum, that meant I was going to have get down. I pulled my self up right and let my feet slide down between the bars until I was back on the ground. I saw Tracy putting the bags in the trunk while Mom strapped Mikey in the back and I was surprised she hadn’t shouted me over yet. Taking my right foot out from the railings I went to take a step back and felt a pull on my other leg. I reached down figuring my pants had got caught on some thing, but found instead that it was my foot that was stuck between the bars. I pulled on my leg a bit harder this time but it still wouldn’t budge, my foot staying firmly wedged in place as I pulled at it. Ok, this wasn’t so fun any more.

“Mom… mom my foot’s stuck” I called. I expected her to come over and help me but instead she started loading up the rest of the bags. She must not have heard me.

“Mom” I shouted louder this time “I can’t get my foot out” Still she showed no sign of hearing me, the last bag was lifted in to the trunk, the lid closed with a heavy thunk. She had to realise I wasn’t in the car now right? They wouldn’t leave me here… they would notice I wasn’t strapped in there with Mikey… she would turn around and see me here any second now… right?! I felt panic grow inside me as I saw Tracy get in the front of the car, Mom checking Mikey again then making her way round to the opposite door.

“Mom!” I screamed, pulling at my leg more franticly than before. “Mom, I’m over here!” No response. I felt tears of frustration and terror fill my eyes, why couldn’t she hear me? Why hadn’t they noticed I wasn’t with them yet?! I had no idea where I was, if they left then to every one else I would just be an unknown kid trapped all alone in an unknown city. Trapped…alone…

I began yanking at my leg with all my strength, those two words going round and round my head, throwing my self backwards in an attempt to pull free ignoring the pain flaring in my ankle.

“MOM!” My throat felt like it was ripping with the force of my scream but I didn’t care. “MOM, MOM, MOM… MOM!!” I watched in horror as she slid one leg into the car showing no sign of hearing my desperate calls.

“DON’T LEAVE ME HERE…” I was sobbing and screaming, my vision swimming with the tears that poured down my face, “MOM DON’T GO…I DON’T WANT TO BE ALONE! MOM!!”

Slowly she turned her head towards me. I cried with relief, it was going to be ok, she had heard me and was going to come get me free. I reached out to her, wanting her there to take away the pain and terror I felt, needing to see her come running.

But… she didn’t, she didn’t come. My out stretched arms fell to my sides as my heart dropped to the floor. Still sitting half in the taxi she looked me in the eye and gave me a small smile, then pulled her other leg inside and slamming the door shut. I felt the breath leave me as if I’d been punched in the gut as I watched the car pull away, getting smaller and smaller until I could no longer see it.

I was alone, trapped and alone. That very thought that had terrified me so much earlier held no real meaning any more though. My mind was filled with a thought much worse. A thought that made me shake, falling to the ground as my legs gave way underneath me, forgotten tears flowing down my cheeks as I sobbed.

Mom had seen me, had looked me in the eye and known I wasn’t with her, and had still left. She had wanted to leave with out me…

Eyes flying open Gerard drew in a sharp breath as he kicked at the sheets that had become knotted around his legs. The terror of the dream still filled him as he fought to free him self, shaking hands franticly pulling at the sweat dampened bed cloths. A whimper of relief rose to his lips as he finally pulled his legs free, falling back against his pillows his breathing haggard.

He was covered in a thin sheen of sweat and the cool air that filled the hotel room made him shiver. Closing his eyes he concentrated on slowing his breathing down, willing his heart to stop beating so fast and come back to its normal rate.

It was just a dream, just a fucked up dream, he told him self. It wasn’t the first time he had dreamt it and he know it probably wouldn’t be the last time. When ever he spent too much time thinking about the past his subconscious mind would throw that dream at him. He had read some where that dreams were meant to be your mind trying to work through issues when you are asleep, that they were helpful, but if that was the case then he new his mind must have got stuck on one particular issue in his life that it couldn’t get round. The result being the same dream coming up again and again, leaving him shaking and terrified every time.

Taking a deep breath he slowly sat up sliding his legs of the bed until he was sitting on the edge. Running his fingers through his messy hair, he allowed his head to rest in his hands for a few moments. He felt exhausted again now that the last of the adrenaline was leaving his body and his muscles ached from having been clenched so hard during the night. He had a feeling this was not going to be an easy day.

He had noticed Sarah watching him closely yesterday, as if she was determined to make her being here as hard for him as possible. Not that she could have known how difficult her presence made life of course, but it was even harder to keep up the pretence around her that every thing was fine when he was being watched so closely.

With a sigh he slowly got to his feet, grabbed clothes and make up, and made his way to the bath room to shower and attempt to make him self look more alive before facing the rest of the guys for breakfast.


Sorry that was a bit short guys, but short post is better than no post right? I think some of you have heard me mention that nightmare before but it seemed to fit in with where I want this to go. Hope that was an ok chapter.

Lisa xo

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