Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Deceiving.
Fifteen
The next morning I woke up to a knee touching my lower back. I turned over to see Brendon curled up into a little ball fast asleep. If it wasn't so cute I would have punched him for kneeing me. He looked like a little boy and I was surprised at how small he could make himself look when he curled up like that. You'd think a tall (okay, so 5'8"ish isn't that tall, I realize. But when you're only 5'3" is it.) boy couldn't do that. Apparently Brendon can though.
I'm sure I was looking at him with a completely awe struck face until I realized he was beginning to stir.
"Whoa. Hey." He said, surprised to wake up to me staring at him.
"Morning." I giggled. "Sleep well?"
"Very." He smiled as he stretched. I cringed when I heard his back pop a few times. "Want some breakfast?"
"I would love some."
"Sweet. Let's get dressed and go to Denny's." I laughed.
"Is that you're idea of cooking for me?"
"Mm, more or less." He said before pulling his t-shirt over his head and straightening out his messy bed head.
-
As soon as Holly opened the front door, I swear she almost tackled me. Who knew pregnant girls could move so fast?
"I missed you!" Or hug so tight? I chuckled.
"I wasn't gone that long."
"Yes you were! I thought you hated me or something but now you're back and I'm so excited!" She squealed.
"Ryan, did you give her sugar?"
"No." He said quickly. "She's just peppy this morning."
"He must have given her the other kind of sugar." Brendon whispered to me, but Holly heard it. My jaw dropped.
"Ew!" Holly just bit her lip before grinning. "Ew, I don't want to know about your sexcapades." I said before sitting at the table.
"So what's up?" Holly asked as she joined me.
"Well, I don't know how to tell you this, so I'm just going to come out and say it but...I've decided to move out." I paused to look at Holly's blank, if not confused expression. "I mean, you and Ryan are starting this great life together and you're bringing a baby into this world and I know you guys want all the time in the world to yourselves and what kind of friend would I be if I was interfering with it all the time? I know if I was a newly wed and expecting I'd want all the time with my...husband too." I was looking at my hands on the table top the entire time, so when I looked up to see what Holly was doing I couldn't believe her eyes were filled with tears.
"Is this because Ryan stays here more than at his apartment?" Well, that was part of it, but judging by the look on her face I couldn't very well tell her I couldn't stand being in the same place as them because I never felt welcome at my own home anymore.
"No, no sweetie, not at all. I just want to give you and Ryan a chance to be newlyweds without one extra."
"Where are you going to go?" She sniffled. I felt so bad, but I had to do this for me.
"I'll be living with Brendon."
"Will I still see you?" Hello waterworks.
"What kind of a question is that? Holly Lynn Mona...Ross, we're best friends! Of course we're still going to see each other!"
"Okay good. I'm still going to miss you though."
"I'm going to miss you too." I told her honestly. "But hey, why don't we go Christmas shopping together?"
"Okay." She sniffled again before Ryan handed her a box of Kleenex. "Well, let's get you packed up then." I nodded quickly before heading into my room with Brendon behind me, but before I did I saw Ryan wrap his arms around her to comfort her.
"Don't cry sunshine. It's going to be alright." He told her. It was a sweet moment between the two and I felt like I was intruding.
-
"For the love of God Cait, how many clothes do you have?" Brendon said as he put countless shirts in a box we had brought up from the storage closets in the basement. Each apartment had this little, like, closet in the basement to store things and since Holly and I had an apartment big enough for all of our stuff we just put the boxes and totes we used to move in into the little storage closet.
"Honestly, not enough."
"That's a lie and you know it."
"Brendon, a girl can never have too many clothes, shoes or purses. You should know this by now." I laughed as I carefully put shoes in another box. I didn't want to take the risk of chucking them in and finding scuff marks later.
"Yeah, but you could clothe and accessorize every person in a small country with the amount you have." I laughed and just shook my head.
-
By late afternoon I had everything all packed up, but I wasn't quite ready to leave the apartment yet. So, we all decided that we'd order a huge pizza and just hang out. It had been months since the four of us all hung out together and honestly, it was a blast. I didn't realize how much I missed this.
"So I have a theory." Brendon said as he picked up another slice of the cheese pizza from Fox's Pizza.
"And that is?" Ryan asked.
"In two months Holly will look like a toothpick with an olive on it."
"What?" She asked.
"Well, you're a toothpick and with that baby it'll look like you have an olive on you."
"Shut up, I will not. I'll fill out."
"As much as I hate to say this Holly, you will look like whatever Brendon said." I said.
"Well fuck that shit."
"You'll look fine, love. Gorgeous as always." Ryan smiled at her before patting her belly. The rest of the night was spent in fun conversation and banter and before we all knew it, it was late.
"I'm going to miss you." Holly cried as she hugged me tightly for the second time today. "You can still come over whenever you want! You can even keep your key!"
"Alright, I will." I told her with unshed tears in my eyes. I wasn't going to deny that this was hard.
"Call me tomorrow!" She said as Brendon and Ryan stepped back inside.
"Everything is all ready to go." Brendon said. With another promise to see her soon and another tight hug we were on our way.
-
When Brendon and I got back home that night it was like a switched was flipped. He cornered me and kissed me hot and desperately. It was amazing that we made it to the bedroom without tripping over anything. Our clothes were shed quickly and then we were in bed, completely exposed to each other on top of the sheets while he kissed me to distract the pain that I was about to feel. His kisses felt like an apology and once he was in he stopped until the pain faded into something else. Something I can't even describe. Once I gave him the okay to move he did slowly and the feelings were intense. I cried his name as I ran my hand all the way down his sweaty back until I reached the small of it and pressed so he'd go in deeper and as he did, his hold on me tightened.
"God Cait." He moaned as he sucked on my neck. Unfortunately our first encounter was rather quick but after we laid in each other's arms for a few minutes we bounced right back and made love three more times that night. Best night of my life. Thus far. I saw sparks, and I felt the tingles of pleasure all over my small body. I felt loved and beautiful and wanted. I felt...whole, I guess you could say. I knew I would be sore in the morning, but it was well worth it.
"I love you." Brendon whispered before we fell asleep. He sounded so vulnerable, but sure of himself at the same time.
"I love you too."
"One day I'm going to make you mine forever." He smiled as his droopy eyes finally closed.
"I already am." I whispered before shutting my own eyes.
-
"Are you okay?" Ryan asked as he and Holly sat out on the balcony that night.
"I just...feel like I did something to drive her to move out but I can't figure out what it is."
"You didn't do anything, if anything it was me. I kind of came over and decided I wasn't going to leave. So I'm sure it's my fault."
"You couldn't have left Ryan. I need you here."
"Well I'm here Holly, I'm not going anywhere now. You'd have to fight for me to leave and even then I don't think I would."
"Really?"
"Really. I'll always be with you."
"Good." She smiled. Ryan wiped her tears away with his thumbs before kissing the fresh and unshed ones away. "So what are we doing for Christmas?"
"My mom wants us to spend it at her house. Is that okay with you?"
"More than okay." She told him. And at that moment, even with everything that had happened that day, everything she said was just that. More than okay.
Hooray! They did it! And it didn't take me five years to update!
The next morning I woke up to a knee touching my lower back. I turned over to see Brendon curled up into a little ball fast asleep. If it wasn't so cute I would have punched him for kneeing me. He looked like a little boy and I was surprised at how small he could make himself look when he curled up like that. You'd think a tall (okay, so 5'8"ish isn't that tall, I realize. But when you're only 5'3" is it.) boy couldn't do that. Apparently Brendon can though.
I'm sure I was looking at him with a completely awe struck face until I realized he was beginning to stir.
"Whoa. Hey." He said, surprised to wake up to me staring at him.
"Morning." I giggled. "Sleep well?"
"Very." He smiled as he stretched. I cringed when I heard his back pop a few times. "Want some breakfast?"
"I would love some."
"Sweet. Let's get dressed and go to Denny's." I laughed.
"Is that you're idea of cooking for me?"
"Mm, more or less." He said before pulling his t-shirt over his head and straightening out his messy bed head.
-
As soon as Holly opened the front door, I swear she almost tackled me. Who knew pregnant girls could move so fast?
"I missed you!" Or hug so tight? I chuckled.
"I wasn't gone that long."
"Yes you were! I thought you hated me or something but now you're back and I'm so excited!" She squealed.
"Ryan, did you give her sugar?"
"No." He said quickly. "She's just peppy this morning."
"He must have given her the other kind of sugar." Brendon whispered to me, but Holly heard it. My jaw dropped.
"Ew!" Holly just bit her lip before grinning. "Ew, I don't want to know about your sexcapades." I said before sitting at the table.
"So what's up?" Holly asked as she joined me.
"Well, I don't know how to tell you this, so I'm just going to come out and say it but...I've decided to move out." I paused to look at Holly's blank, if not confused expression. "I mean, you and Ryan are starting this great life together and you're bringing a baby into this world and I know you guys want all the time in the world to yourselves and what kind of friend would I be if I was interfering with it all the time? I know if I was a newly wed and expecting I'd want all the time with my...husband too." I was looking at my hands on the table top the entire time, so when I looked up to see what Holly was doing I couldn't believe her eyes were filled with tears.
"Is this because Ryan stays here more than at his apartment?" Well, that was part of it, but judging by the look on her face I couldn't very well tell her I couldn't stand being in the same place as them because I never felt welcome at my own home anymore.
"No, no sweetie, not at all. I just want to give you and Ryan a chance to be newlyweds without one extra."
"Where are you going to go?" She sniffled. I felt so bad, but I had to do this for me.
"I'll be living with Brendon."
"Will I still see you?" Hello waterworks.
"What kind of a question is that? Holly Lynn Mona...Ross, we're best friends! Of course we're still going to see each other!"
"Okay good. I'm still going to miss you though."
"I'm going to miss you too." I told her honestly. "But hey, why don't we go Christmas shopping together?"
"Okay." She sniffled again before Ryan handed her a box of Kleenex. "Well, let's get you packed up then." I nodded quickly before heading into my room with Brendon behind me, but before I did I saw Ryan wrap his arms around her to comfort her.
"Don't cry sunshine. It's going to be alright." He told her. It was a sweet moment between the two and I felt like I was intruding.
-
"For the love of God Cait, how many clothes do you have?" Brendon said as he put countless shirts in a box we had brought up from the storage closets in the basement. Each apartment had this little, like, closet in the basement to store things and since Holly and I had an apartment big enough for all of our stuff we just put the boxes and totes we used to move in into the little storage closet.
"Honestly, not enough."
"That's a lie and you know it."
"Brendon, a girl can never have too many clothes, shoes or purses. You should know this by now." I laughed as I carefully put shoes in another box. I didn't want to take the risk of chucking them in and finding scuff marks later.
"Yeah, but you could clothe and accessorize every person in a small country with the amount you have." I laughed and just shook my head.
-
By late afternoon I had everything all packed up, but I wasn't quite ready to leave the apartment yet. So, we all decided that we'd order a huge pizza and just hang out. It had been months since the four of us all hung out together and honestly, it was a blast. I didn't realize how much I missed this.
"So I have a theory." Brendon said as he picked up another slice of the cheese pizza from Fox's Pizza.
"And that is?" Ryan asked.
"In two months Holly will look like a toothpick with an olive on it."
"What?" She asked.
"Well, you're a toothpick and with that baby it'll look like you have an olive on you."
"Shut up, I will not. I'll fill out."
"As much as I hate to say this Holly, you will look like whatever Brendon said." I said.
"Well fuck that shit."
"You'll look fine, love. Gorgeous as always." Ryan smiled at her before patting her belly. The rest of the night was spent in fun conversation and banter and before we all knew it, it was late.
"I'm going to miss you." Holly cried as she hugged me tightly for the second time today. "You can still come over whenever you want! You can even keep your key!"
"Alright, I will." I told her with unshed tears in my eyes. I wasn't going to deny that this was hard.
"Call me tomorrow!" She said as Brendon and Ryan stepped back inside.
"Everything is all ready to go." Brendon said. With another promise to see her soon and another tight hug we were on our way.
-
When Brendon and I got back home that night it was like a switched was flipped. He cornered me and kissed me hot and desperately. It was amazing that we made it to the bedroom without tripping over anything. Our clothes were shed quickly and then we were in bed, completely exposed to each other on top of the sheets while he kissed me to distract the pain that I was about to feel. His kisses felt like an apology and once he was in he stopped until the pain faded into something else. Something I can't even describe. Once I gave him the okay to move he did slowly and the feelings were intense. I cried his name as I ran my hand all the way down his sweaty back until I reached the small of it and pressed so he'd go in deeper and as he did, his hold on me tightened.
"God Cait." He moaned as he sucked on my neck. Unfortunately our first encounter was rather quick but after we laid in each other's arms for a few minutes we bounced right back and made love three more times that night. Best night of my life. Thus far. I saw sparks, and I felt the tingles of pleasure all over my small body. I felt loved and beautiful and wanted. I felt...whole, I guess you could say. I knew I would be sore in the morning, but it was well worth it.
"I love you." Brendon whispered before we fell asleep. He sounded so vulnerable, but sure of himself at the same time.
"I love you too."
"One day I'm going to make you mine forever." He smiled as his droopy eyes finally closed.
"I already am." I whispered before shutting my own eyes.
-
"Are you okay?" Ryan asked as he and Holly sat out on the balcony that night.
"I just...feel like I did something to drive her to move out but I can't figure out what it is."
"You didn't do anything, if anything it was me. I kind of came over and decided I wasn't going to leave. So I'm sure it's my fault."
"You couldn't have left Ryan. I need you here."
"Well I'm here Holly, I'm not going anywhere now. You'd have to fight for me to leave and even then I don't think I would."
"Really?"
"Really. I'll always be with you."
"Good." She smiled. Ryan wiped her tears away with his thumbs before kissing the fresh and unshed ones away. "So what are we doing for Christmas?"
"My mom wants us to spend it at her house. Is that okay with you?"
"More than okay." She told him. And at that moment, even with everything that had happened that day, everything she said was just that. More than okay.
Hooray! They did it! And it didn't take me five years to update!
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