FicWad

Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters belong to their respective owners, including Ms Rowling and the relevant movie companies. Used without permission, and with no intent to assume any kinds of rights over any of the characters.

Author's Note: I just thought I'd let people know before they got too involved. This is going to be a Super!Harry fic, so, if you don't like those, I give fair warning. Also, what I meant by this being a meta-fic is that I intend to use pretty much every Harry Potter fanfic stereotype I can think of in this 'fic. Seven-part compartments with full apartments, libraries, and potion labs, that you can cast spells in without worrying about underage magic restrictions? Yep, sure, you betcha. Ron/Ginny/Molly being blood purists and/or using Amortentia on Hermione/Harry/Arthur? Uh-huh.

I'm not saying that any of these things will happen in this particular 'episode' (though some probably will). They could be references to other 'worlds' where they happened, or the equivalent. It's entirely possible that I am not familiar with some stereotypes - I may read a lot of fanfiction, but there's (a lot) more that I haven't read. Please comment/review and make suggestions for things you might like to see me try and include in the story. Heck, give me URLs to fanfics that feature them! I love all kinds of feedback, and feedback that helps me write more is always particularly appreciated.



Harry didn't panic. This, after all, happened on something like a third of the 'worlds' he ended up in. Most wizards - like Lucius Malfoy - completely ignored the actual abilities of house-elves, treating them as slaves. But the thing was, house-elves could do pretty much anything that a normal wizard could do, and all of them could do it. Less than 1% of all human beings had the power to become wizards, but every single house-elf was a magical creature. There were no squib or muggle house-elves, or, at least, none had ever been discovered by man. Most of the time, they didn't do the kinds of things wizards did, but that was more because of their personalities than lack of ability. A house-elf actually attacking someone was almost unheard of.

Unless the 'victim' was attacking someone they cared about. But there were so few people that elves actually truly cared for, mostly because of how they were treated, that it was almost never seen.

That wasn't the case with this house-elf. Dobby considered Harry Potter responsible for freeing him from the nastiness that was Malfoy Manor and its occupants. He pretty much considered Harry his own personal hero. And now he knew that this wasn't HIS Harry.

"STOP!" Harry shouted, his tone firm.

Unfortunately (or, perhaps, fortunately in this case), Dobby had also been subject to the Malfoys for so long that a sharply-voiced 'command' like that forced him to hesitate (and, usually, begin punishing himself). Harry hated taking advantage of that, but that hesitation is all he needed.

"Sorry, Dobby," Harry apologized. "Please, look again. You'll see that it's all me in here. And, I promise to explain what's happening too. I even created a chair for you to sit in, if you look behind you." Which he did. Harry watched Dobby's ears as the house-elf turned back - it was the best way to tell how the magical creature was going to react. And he did react predictably, his eyes beginning to well with tears at the 'consideration' Harry Potter was showing him. Nevermind that it was basic human decency, in Harry's opinion.

"But before I can tell you what's happening, I need a favor or two. Is that all right with you? It won't be anything too hard, I promise," Harry said, attempting to prevent a full-on crying brawl from the somewhat-strange house-elf.

When Dobby nodded, Harry asked, "Do you know where we are?"

Dobby looked around and shook his head, "We is not in Hogwarts. Where is we, Harry Potter sir?"

And that answered a question that Harry had wanted to know. He grinned ferally for a moment. "This is the Chamber of Secrets, far below Hogwarts itself. If you look over there, that's the basilisk. It's dead now, don't worry, but one of the things that I wanted to ask you to do was help me be sure there aren't any others. Could you go and get me one of Hagrid's roosters and bring it back?"

Putting words to actions, Dobby popped out, and then back in a few moments later. Harry smiled approvingly, and the house-elf almost preened. Really, it wasn't so hard to make house-elves happy. Why did so many people have trouble with it?

"Go ahead and put it down," he remarked. 'That is going to be one hell of a confused rooster this coming morning,' he thought to himself. Harry tapped the 'street light' with his wand, dousing it, and then lifted it, "LUMOS SOLOR!"

A (very) small star ignited at the top of the room, throwing everything into relief. And, of course, triggering the rooster's natural reaction to being startled awake: crowing.

There were no other responses - sounds or otherwise - even after Harry applied a Sonorus to the rooster, and that was a good thing. No little baby basilisks that needed killing. With a 'quietus,' a 'nox', and another tap on the 'street light,' conditions were restored to the way they were before. "Excellent," Harry said. "Okay, just one more thing, Dobby. You can take others with you when you apparate inside Hogwarts, right?"

It wasn't really a question, since he knew the answer: Dobby could take others with him when he apparated - he'd proven that many 'worlds' over - and he could apparate within Hogwarts, as any house-elf could. Dobby's answering nod was only waited for out of politeness.

"Thank you, Dobby. Could you please return the rooster to where you got it, and then pop to the Gryffindor girl's dorm, for the same year as I am," he began. "You remember Hermione Granger, right? She was the one who was happy you were taking pay, remember?" He crossed his fingers that things had happened here like they did most 'worlds.' Otherwise, he was going to have a lot of explaining to do, and he'd have to do it more than once, which is what he wanted to avoid.

Luckily, Dobby nodded, and Harry went on. "Could you go and get her for me, then bring her here? That's who the other chair is for. Then I'll tell you both what's going on. Okay?"

Dobby smiled at that, his eyes still a little watery at having his own chair waiting for him, and popped out.



The crack/pop of house-elf apparition sounded out in the Gryffindor 4th Year Girl's Dorm, right next to Hermione Granger's bed, waking the girl with a start. Reaching for her wand, Hermione whispered a quiet 'LUMOS' to create a weak light, and stifled a shriek when the large eyes of the ex-Malfoy house-elf greeted her.

"Harry Potter needs his Grangy," Dobby whispered, though it sounded incredibly loud to Hermione.

"Okay," she whispered back, figuring that if Harry was calling for her in the middle of the night, it was probably important. She got up and pulled on a dressing robe and slippers, stifling a second shriek when Dobby took her hand.

The sound of apparition sounded one more time. Several moments later, the sound of female giggling also was heard... though not by Hermione, who was no longer there.

*

The second crack of apparition made Harry look up from the Marauder's Map with a smile, once which turned ever-so-slightly lascivious. He let out a low wolf-whistle. "Very nice, Hermione," he said, looking up and down her body through the only halfway-closed robe. Hermione was wearing the bottoms to a set of normal pajamas (even if they had the images of policeboxes on them), but her top was a simple Contessa di Roma nightshirt loosely draped over her. It didn't really show anything, especially with the additional robe, but it was attractive. Especially in that 'just got out of bed' look. Which was appropriate, seeing as she HAD just gotten out of bed.

Hermione looked down at herself and pulled her robe shut. This time she DID shriek, "Harry!"

"That's my name. Don't wear it out," Harry responded.

"Haaaaaaaa-rrrry....," Hermione said, threateningly, raising her wand.

"Relax," Harry said, casually using his own wand to transfigure Hermione's clothes into slacks, sneakers and a T-shirt (and a jacket, since it was a little cold down here). "It's not like you have anything I haven't seen before."

Hermione's new shirt read (not that she'd looked at it just yet): "GRYFFINDORS DO IT BRAVELY" And then, in much smaller letters underneath it: "(in bed)."

"HARRY!" Her face began turning a bright red, though whether it was in embarrassment or anger was anyone's guess.

Harry had to suppress a laugh. Tormenting Hermione was always fun. "Oh, come on. Have a seat." He nodded at the big chair behind her. "I have something I need to talk with you about."

Finally, Hermione did just that, crossing her arms over her chest. "You're acting so strange, Harry," she remarked. It had completely skipped her notice that Harry had transfigured her clothing around her - and the clothing fit appropriately. While transfiguring clothing wasn't hard, doing it around a living body was more difficult, and making the clothing fit the way they did, was significantly moreso.

Harry grinned at that, and then looked over at Dobby. "Why don't you take a seat too, Dobby? Then I'll explain a bit." He paused for a moment. "Or, if I'm right, it'll be Hermione that explains."

The named young woman growled, though anyone who knew her could tell that she was already thinking about it. Once Dobby had settled, Harry leaned forward in his seat, elbows on his legs, and looked at Hermione. "In all the time that you've studied extra things, did you ever study physics?"

Hermione blinked at what seemed to her to be a non-sequitur. "Of course I did," she responded.

"How advanced?"

"I touched on most of the advanced theories, at the very least. Why?"

Harry just sat back and smiled. It was always so brill watching Hermione think... even when she was working her way to becoming a Dark Lady. That was one of the delights of this random life of his.

The silence stretched, Hermione trying to figure out what Advanced Physics had to do with anything. Well, other than having to do with anything. She'd figure it out.

"I did have Dobby wake you in the middle of the night, so you're lacking sleep," Harry said. "Want a hint?"

Hermione wrinkled her nose in distaste, but nodded. It didn't help that Dobby was beginning to get antsy as well.

"Quantum theory," Harry said, and refocused on Hermione. If he knew her, she'd get it any second.

What does quantum theory have to do.... oh! Hermione started putting things together. Harry's confidence, his (finally) noticing that she was female, that crack about her not having anything he hadn't seen before - even if that DID make her blush - and how easily he'd done that transfiguration.

"Y... Y... You're not my Harry, are you?"

"Calling me 'my Harry' is a good sign," Harry replied, with a grin. Hermione, for her part, blushed again, while Harry turned to explain to Dobby. "Quantum theory basically says that reality is created by observation, and... you know what, it's not important, especially since I have no way of knowing it's the truth. I just wanted to give Hermione a frame of reference. Basically, the answer to your question, Hermione, is that you are partially correct. I am your Harry. This is his body, his soul, his magical core. I have just been added on top of it."

He looked from Hermione back to Dobby, and tried to frame it in a reference the house-elf would understand. "Think of it this way. If your Harry Potter was one of the tables in the Great Hall, wooden and pock-marked with the flow of time, then I - the addition - am like a pristine tablecloth wrapped around the top of the table. Just like the top of the table looks different under a tablecloth, I look different in your magical sight. Do you understand?"

And it was clear that Dobby did. As Harry had explained, his expression of worry had lessened more and more. Harry continued, "I'm not here to hurt Harry, because hurting him only hurts me." Not to mention that he knew exactly what might happen if he tried to hurt himself. Not all of his world-shifting had gone well, particularly at the beginning. "The problem is that, when I first 'arrive,' my mind is separate from Harry's. I will eventually be able to integrate this Harry's memories, but it takes time to go through and sort..." He looked down at himself. "Fourteen or fifteen years of memories and experiences."

"And that, actually, is why I asked Dobby to bring you here, Hermione," he said, startling the latter with the shift in conversation. "I need you to tell me about me, as it were. There have been times when I've needed to act before I could finish the integration. Can you help?"

Hermione's blush had receded to the point where it was merely a slight flush, mostly visible on her neck above the T-shirt and at the tips of her ears. "I'll certainly try, of course."

Harry smiled, "Thanks. I really do appreciate it." He paused. "First thing, can you tell me what today's date is?" With a swish of his wand, the current time - 01:32am - was displayed.

"March 3rd," Hermione replied promptly. She glanced at the floating time. "Or the 4th, I suppose."

Harry asked, "What year?"

Hermione only blinked twice before responding. "1995." If nothing else, that helped drive it in that he was serious.

It was Harry's turn to squint as he thought. "4th year. A week after the second task of the Tri-wizard Tournament? Saturday?"

Hermione just nodded, and Harry sat back, taking a breath. He leaned his head back and then looked at Hermione, "They did the underwater one, right? Go off and rescue your cherished person? And you were my cherished person?"

Hermione continued to nod, until he got to the last part, where she shook her head. "No, I was Viktor's." There was the blush again.

But Harry didn't seem surprised. "Then they took Ron for me, right? I'm guessing that we three are friends, right? Because, otherwise, you probably wouldn't have come at my call at this time of morning."

Hermione nodded, ducking her head. That got a raised eyebrow from Harry, but he didn't say anything about that. Instead he went on. "When I was underwater, Fleur didn't make it, and I rescued little Gabby, didn't I?"

"I didn't get the impression she liked being called that, but yes," Hermione said, looking up. Seeing Harry's lips twitching, she accused, "But you know that, don't you?"

Harry nodded. "In one world I was in, Fleur and Gabrielle were, basically, my foster siblings. We - that is, you and I - had transferred to Beauxbatons after second year, deciding Hogwarts was too dangerous, and I was one of the few males that wasn't overly affected by Veela charms, so I was one of the few males that they could actually talk to. Is that how it is here?"

Hermione hesitated, and it was clear she didn't know how to answer that. She'd been taught not to say bad things about people when you were talking about them. But the delay was enough, and a rueful look crossed Harry's face, and he asked, "Fleur's being a vindictive bitch, isn't she?"

Hermione grimaced, shrugged, and then nodded. "But I don't think it was her fault, really." It sounded weak.

"It's not, really," Harry said, agreeing. "She's under a lot of pressure. Veela come into their maturity sooner than humans do. Imagine walking into school as an eleven-year-old and having every fourth year or higher male - including some teachers - watching your every move, with what's on their mind very clear. With the girls, those who weren't attracted to her hate her. And that was before she started being attracted to the opposite gender. Even when that happened, the Veela aura makes men stupid." He grins, "Did Ron blurt out an attempt to ask her to the Yule Ball?"

Hermione giggled and nodded. "He was completely mortified. She treated him like he was a little boy." Covering her mouth, she added. "I shouldn't laugh, but the expression on his face was absolutely priceless."

"And that's just an example, yeah," Harry said, smiling a hint nostalgically. "Pretty much every male except me and..." He paused, looked nervously at Hermione for a moment, and started again. "Pretty much every male treats her that way, and it frustrates her. She turns that frustration into drive to succeed, and uses that attitude of hers to turn people away from her. Less chance for her to get hurt that way."

With a sigh, he sat back. "I can't really tell you everything, Hermione. Unless... have you studied occlumency?"

Hermione's brow furrowed. "What's occlumency?" Which pretty much answered the question.

"Closing your mind against outside magical reading and influencing," Harry said, with a sigh. "Professors Dumbledore and Snape, at the very least, are Master Legilimens. They can read - and influence - your mind, particularly if you meet their eyes. Voldemort can too, at least with me he can, to an extent. I'll tell you what I can, and I can teach you, but I'm going to have to keep much to myself at this point. I have about four months before the third task. I can get a lot done in that period, but it's going to take practically all of it to do so, so I need to get started."

Then he smiled, thoughtfully. "So, how about it, Hermione? Want to go on an adventure with me that will probably not have much in the way of danger in it? Give me a chance to reconnect with one of my best friends? Please?"

Maybe it was just the late hour and lack of sleep, but Hermione found Harry's tone just too winsome to refuse. "Okay."

"Brilliant!" Harry said, bouncing up out of his seat to reach over and pull Hermione out of hers, a huge smile on his face. "Can you meet me outside the second floor girl's bathroom at 8:00, then? We'll go from there?"

Hermione couldn't NOT answer that smile with one her own, so she did, as she nodded.

"Great!" Harry turned to Dobby, and asked, "Can you take Hermione back to her dorm?" He paused. "Actually, before that... Dobby, how is Winky doing?"

Dobby's ears flopped down in the expression of sadness. "Winky is still very sad, Harry Potters sir. She drinks until she sleeps, and she cries for her Master. Nothing makes her happy."

Harry grimaced. "Yes, I was afraid of that." He nodded. "All right then. After you take Hermione back to her dorm, would you get an anti-drunkenness potion from Madam Pomfrey and then bring Winky here? I want to talk to her, and I need her to be sensible enough to understand me."

"Wait," Hermione said. "What are you going to talk to her about, Harry?"

"Tomorrow," Harry replied. "Go, sleep now. We'll talk later. Don't worry about me - when I first arrive, I usually have a lot of energy. I'll crash in a few hours and meet you at 8:00." He planted a kiss right on Hermione's cheek, at least halfway because he wanted her to blush again (which she did). "Good night. Sleep tight. And thank you."

As he stepped away, he leveled his wand and finite'd the transfiguration he'd done on Hermione's clothing, taking another mock-leer before letting them go with the loud crack of apparition. Once Dobby and Hermione were gone, Harry reduced the size of Hermione's chair and moved it next to the other elf-sized chair. He settled down in his own to wait for the two elves to come back.