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Missions: Report VI

Mission 51: Spirited Away

Elena leaned on Tseng and stayed as close as possible while he kept his arm around her shoulders, not that either Turk was scared. They were Turks and they didn't believe Reno's childish ghosts stories, they simply shared a mutual crush.

Finally, the time came to extinguish the camp fire after Reno was done stuffing his face with roasted marshmallows while telling his story, and occasionally being scolded by Tseng, Elena or both, for talking with his mouth full, not that he listened anyway.

They retired to their respective tents to sleep and plot in their dreams. They would plot the demise of the fool who hired them to catch a ghost that appeared in a remote area of the jungle near Mideel. There was no such thing as ghosts but the contractor insisted so much that the matter reached Rufus and, trying to avoid trouble with the press, the young president ordered the Turks to accept the mission.

While Reno drifted off to sleep, curled into a ball in his sleeping bag, he thought he heard a sound outside. Far from being a ghostly wail, it sounded more like a soothing female voice, but it was different from Elena's voice, and it was calling him.

Reno peeked out of the tent but couldn't see anything in the vast darkness now that the fire had been put out. He grabbed a flashlight and ventured outside, following the voice and disappearing into the darkness.

xoxox xox xoxox

"Where's Reno?" Tseng asked the following morning.

"Gone," Rude replied, simple and to the point.

Tseng shook his head in annoyance. How could Reno bail out on the mission? Further more, the mission was almost over anyway since the Turks were only hired to 'investigate' until morning. Then again, this was Reno and he would leave.

The Turks' history wasn't very good in Mideel, they thought they would be banned from the town forever after a certain incident involving a hammer that ended up with death, torches and pitchforks, but the Turks would rather not remember that.

However, it seemed that a ghost was even worse than the Turks in the minds of the Mideel citizens. But even so, not even Reno would be stupid enough to visit the new Mideel alone at night. But again, this was Reno and everything was possible.

The Turks returned to Mideel to inform the new mayor that there was no ghost anywhere to be found. But the lack of precense of the forth member of their little group terribly alarmed the mayor and the townspeople who had gathered at the mayor's house to await the report from the Turks. "That red haired one was spirited away and you're trying to hide it!"

"He wasn't spirited away he just had to leave early," Tseng tried to explain. There was no such thing as ghosts, only the uncivilized country bumpkins of Mideel would believe it. Smart and civilized city people knew better than to believe such ridiculous myths.

The mayor's house was filled with murmurs until someone among the crowd yelled, "prove it!" and the others supported the request.

Then the door was opened to reveal an exhausted Reno with a silly grin plastered on his face. "I'm back!"

The people of Mideel had no choice but to shut up and accept the apparent fact that Reno wasn't spirited away after all. The Turks had accomplished their investigation mission, but that would not dispel the ghost stories of Mideel right away. Urban legends were hard to kill, but at least the Turks' job was done.

While flying back to Shinra Headquarters, Tseng disapprovingly asked, "where did you disappear to last night?"

"I was spirited away by a body of thoughts... nice thoughts," Reno replied.

"What does that mean?" Tseng questioned.

"The fan girl! The embodiment of all my fan girls, the being made from their love. Don't you remember her?" That incident should be hard to forget, but after time passed and no solid conclusions were drawn, most of the people who had heard the story had either forgotten about it or stopped believing it.

"You were dreaming," Elena concluded.

"And sleepwalking," Tseng added.

"I don't sleepwalk!" Reno tried to explain it, but no one would believe him. After all, Rude didn't think he could sleepwalk either and recently it was proven that he could, in fact, walk in his sleep and also fight in his sleep, 'sleep-kill' as it was later called.

At that moment Reno wondered if with the passing of time he would forget this incident, be convinced that he was sleepwalking, or simply stop believing it ever happened. It was a likely possibility since even now he couldn't remember exactly what happened while he was spirited away. At least he knew that if the spirit made from the thoughts of his fan girls still existed, he was still loved.

Mission 52: Operation Fruit

"The target has been sighted, proceeding with plan A now..." Reno dully reported into the headset while he flew above Cloud, who was riding on Fenrir. He could have passed for a serious Turk if not for the laugh that he tried, and failed, to hide at the end. Then he rephrased his report to something a little more fitting, "I see Kiwi, proceed with Operation Fruit Salad! What's your status, Grape?"

"Reno, I thought we agreed that we would call Cloud 'target' not by that silly nickname you and Rude gave him to get on his nerves. Just who is Grape?" Elena's voice replied. She was stationed on land, on the other side of the tunnel Cloud had to go through.

"Cloud likes that name, he just won't admit it. Besides, it was totally Rude's idea, he doesn't give himself enough credit. You're Grape and I'm Strawberry remember?" Reno laughed, and he could clearly imagine Elena rolling her eyes. "Oh hey, there he goes!"

"The barrier is already in place, over and out." Elena heard the screeching of tires and came out of hiding to face the barrier, quickly putting away her PHS. She didn't even bother hiding anymore because she simply had to witness this.

"Plushies?" Cloud got off Fenrir and pulled his goggles over his head then rubbed his eyes. "Plushies..." There was in fact, an adorable row of cute plushies placed across the road, blocking Cloud's path. Elena watched him but said nothing, so Cloud spoke first. "Are these yours?"

Elena shook her head, "I have nothing to do with this. I'm just an innocent by-stander."

This was strange, even for the Turks, and as far as Cloud could tell Reno was the insane one. Why in the world would Elena put plushies in the middle of the road where they could be run over? She didn't look like a toy torturer; maybe she was an innocent by-stander like she said. Or maybe the plushies had bombs. "Bombs! Those plushies are actually bombs!"

Elena couldn't take it anymore and started laughing while Cloud examined one of the plushies with absolute care, as if fearing it would blow up.

After examining it, Cloud swallowed, took a deep breath and squeezed the plushie. It was soft, just a regular plushie, and he didn't hear any ticking or strange noises. There was nothing strange about that plushie at all, except for its location.

Cloud repeated the action with all the plushies, carefully examining them, listening, and finally squeezing them to make sure there was nothing usual inside. It was a dumb thing to do if they really had explosives, but Cloud's curiosity refused to let him go until he found out just what those plushies were.

Finally, the delivery boy went back to Fenrir and picked up a piece of cardboard. He extended the once flat cardboard and folded it to form a box, which he secured with tape. Then he picked up the plushies and placed them all in the box. "These really are yours, right?" He handed the box to Elena.

Unable to contain herself, Elena nodded, while practically laughing her head off.

Cloud sighed and shook his head, "I thought you were the sane one. Reno's insanity must be contagious. I don't know how Rude has managed to stay sane with him as a partner," and though Rude was a rival for Tifa's affections, Cloud couldn't help it but to feel sorry for the other man.

"Wait! There's something I need to tell you!" Elena placed the box down and dug around it. "Hold on, I almost found it, here it is!" She held the plushie up and looked at it and Cloud. It was a chick, a little yellow baby chocobo plushie with its feathers styled very similar to Cloud's hair. "Reno was saying that this plushie looks like you. I think he was actually right for once!"

"Um... okay... Just make sure to keep the plushies out of the road, alright?" Cloud headed back to Fenrir, but once again Elena stopped him.

"Wait! There's something else I need to tell you!" Elena looked at her watch. "It is now exactly three ten in the afternoon..." Then her cell phone rang and she answered it while Cloud tried to sneak off to Fenrir. But Elena noticed and kept standing in his way, moving from side to side at the same time as Cloud, making it look like a weird dance.

"Apple here, Operation Fruit Cocktail has been a success. You may finalize Operation Fruit Salad at any time," Tseng's voice came though Elena's PHS.

"Tseng! Not you too with the fruits..." Maybe Reno's insanity was contagious, and while Elena mused this, Cloud made his escape. But it didn't matter, because Apple, I mean Tseng, had already given the okay to end Operation Fruit Salad, which had the purpose of creating time for the competition of Operation Fruit Cocktail.

Codenames aside, the Turks were actually hired to make sure Cloud was delayed enough so that his friends could get a little party ready for him. That delay was Operation Fruit Salad and Operation Fruit Cocktail was the task of helping put up the decorations and getting the food ready at the Seventh Heaven.

Mission 53: Don't Sit Down

"I can't stand it anymore, I just can't stand it!" Yuffie Kisaragi had lost her patience, which she surprisingly had a lot of to begin with concerning this particular matter, but definitely not as much patience as Tifa. The ninja girl from Wutai was always jumpy; she never stayed still and flailed around with little to no provocation. Many were certain that she had some sort of hyper disorder or a very strange tic that prevented her from staying still. She pressed the speed dial on her cell phone for a number she kept just in case.

Ironically, ninjas are supposed to be quiet and sneaky and Yuffie is loud, but she's sneaky enough to make up for it. She did try to wait; she honestly did, but that man was not making it easy. "Why?" The question jumped out of her mouth as soon as the call was answered and before the person on the other side could even say hello.

"Why what?" Reno didn't even bother asking who was calling and he definitely didn't say that silly greeting he was supposed to recite when he answered the company phone.

"You have reached the Turks, you name it, we Turk it," Tseng didn't particularly like the phase himself; it made no sense what so ever in his opinion. "Don't forget to say that." No matter how ridiculous and nonsensical it sounded, it was Rufus' idea and it had to be done.

"I refuse! I'll never say it!" Reno yelled at the top of his lungs, paying no mind to the receiver.

"I knew it!" Yuffie shouted back. "Why are all men like that?"

"Like what?" Reno was totally and completely lost, and Yuffie was too annoyed to properly explain anything.

"You don't understand!" The ninja girl huffed. "Anyway, I have a really important mission for the Turks. I don't care which one of you does this as long as it gets done. You can use any methods you want, except killing because that would defeat the purpose of the mission and make it all kind of useless. Listen because this is important, I'm so fed up with watching it and going no where, you have no idea!"

Reno had no idea, no idea about anything; that much was true. But he didn't stress out about it; after all, this was just another stupid mission, nothing exiting. It was just one of those lame missions they got every now and then for community service or something, so the redhead simply let the loud mouth mystery girl rant while the phone laid unattended on the desk.

A few minutes passed and Reno returned from the snack machine with some cookies. He picked up the phone again under Tseng's pressuring look; though the leader made no motion to get up from his desk, pick up Reno's phone himself, or even say anything.

"Did you get all that?" Yuffie asked once again.

"Yeah, sure, summary?" Reno didn't know what the mission was about and Yuffie didn't have the patience to start her rant over; nor the ability and desire to summarize it.

Thus the ninja simply said, "don't let Cloud sit this one out. Be honored to take the mission request of the great Yuffie Kisaragi and make it work!" Then she promptly hung up.

Shrugging, Reno finished his cookies, then went off on his mission. He knew who to send the bill to, so even if the job details were a little unclear it didn't really matter.

That was how poor Cloud had one of the worse and most awkward days of his life, in which Reno kept preventing him from sitting down using different methods such as pulling his chair away leaving the delivery boy to fall on the floor, or even zapping Cloud with his electrorod.

Needless to say, Reno ended up running for his life and Yuffie ended up frustrated. All the ninja wanted was for Cloud to confess his feelings for Tifa and not 'sit out' another opportunity to do so.

Mission 54: Spirit of Christmas

Zack sighed, who ever said that death was the end of one's difficulties. Oh no, he was neck deep in the troubles of mundane desires, and they were not even his own desires.

Normal girls would have run away screaming if they stumbled upon a ghost in a deserted part of the city, but those two were far from being ordinary girls. "You're a spirit, it's Christmas Eve, therefore you are a Christmas Sprit and you need to give us presents!" That was their logic.

Try as he might to explain that he was just a regular spirit, the girls wouldn't listen to Zack and kept demanding presents.

"Don't forget that it's better to give than to receive," not even the presence of a second ghost bothered the girls, when Aerith arrived with her advice.

The two girls grinned, "you heard her!" "Yeah, give us presents!"

Zack sighed and Aerith laughed. "Why don't we show them some kindness, it might work wonders," the cetra suggested.

"Alright, I'll give you each one present," Zack agreed.

"Do you promise?" The light haired girl asked.

"Promise!" Zack gave the girls one of his usual carefree grins.

Then the sisters smiled evilly. "We'll hold you to that promise," the dark haired one spoke.

Zack knew he was doomed, and if not him, somebody was. Thus it began; Zack went to get presents for the two crazy girls he had randomly encountered. Didn't they know they should be sleeping at home at that hour and letting ghosts do their haunting in peace?

Zack started working on his mission, he snuck into the Turks' office, which was very easy for a ghost, and made his way to Reno's desk, the redhead was his first target. Next came the tricky part, using his standard edition ghost powers, Zack possessed Reno and prepared to leave.

"Where do you think you're going?" Elena pulled Reno's hair, dragging him back into the office. She wanted Reno to leave so she could be alone with Tseng when he came back, but the leader had entrusted her with the task of babysitting the redhead and she didn't want to fail her duty. The only way Reno could be allowed to leave was if he received a mission request and went out to work.

"Ow, ow, ow! Sorry, there's just this place I need to go to, so you'll have to excuse me. Please don't tell anyone I left, okay? Thanks!" It was Zack who spoke but he was in Reno's body, using Reno's voice, while Reno remained temporarily unconscious.

Elena gasped and dashed to Tseng's desk, opening the drawer where she knew he kept an extra gun. "Who are you?"

Zack stared at Elena in surprise through Reno's eyes. "I'm Reno of the Turks. I'm your ally, remember?"

"You said sorry, excuse me, please and thanks. It takes a lot more than hair pulling to get either of those words out of Reno, let alone all of them one after another. You are not Reno." Elena continued aiming the gun at the apparent impostor.

Zack started to worry, he didn't mean for Reno to get killed, though he wasn't exactly taking the redhead towards the safest place. "Don't shoot, I'll tell you the truth," Zack let go of Reno, revealing his ghostly appearance to Elena.

"You're a ghost," Elena calmly observed.

"Aren't you scared?" What was the world coming to if no one was afraid of ghosts anymore?

"Not really, when I was little they couldn't talk me into stop believing in ghosts so I was taught to not be afraid of them instead. I knew they were real! But you seem harmless enough." Elena nodded to herself, if only her father and sister could see that she was right.

"What's going on..." Reno was suffering from a post-possession hangover and wasn't done recovering, but he miraculously became fully alert when he saw the ghostly Zack. "A ghost! Cool! Hey Elena, where's the vacuum cleaner? I saw a ghost be captured inside a vacuum cleaner on TV! I know there's a vacuum around here somewhere, Tseng was using it the other day."

Zack sighed, "is it too much to ask that you give yourself as a gift to a random girl so she may learn the meaning of Christmas and all that stuff, so I can keep my promise and be done with it?"

"Huh?" Reno blinked in confusion.

"I thought so..." Zack was ready to leave and try to teach those girls the meaning of Christmas in some other way. Maybe Aerith could talk them into asking for scarves or candy canes or something else instead of men for their presents.

"Wait Mr. Ghost!" Elena brought a mission form over. "If you want Reno to do anything, especially go off on a mission, all you need to do is fill out this from."

"What are you up to trying to get me more work?" Reno didn't like where this was going.

"Ghosts have no gil anyway," Zack pointed out.

"I'll cover the costs, since it's Christmas Eve and all," Elena offered.

"That's very kind of you, thanks!" Zack accepted the offer.

But Reno wasn't pleased with how things were going, "don't I get a say in this?"

"No!" Elena snapped. This was just what she needed. Rude's mission, which involved dressing up as Rudolf the red nose reindeer, would not end anytime soon; but Tseng's shift as a mall Santa Claus would soon be over, and she had finished being a toy maker elf hours ago so they would have the office to themselves when Tseng returned. They still had to be at Shinra during Christmas Eve, but at least they would spend some time alone together; hence why Elena wanted Reno to leave, even if it meant forcing him to become a present for some random girl.

Zack grinned victoriously after the paper work was done. "You're a present," he told Reno. "Now let's get you gift wrapped so I can give you to that girl and get on with my life, er... afterlife I mean."

"Wait a minute that's not fair!" Reno followed Zack out of the office complaining.

"Zack Fair is always fair," the ghost replied.

Reno kept arguing the whole way and asking over and over. "Is she cute? Is she? She better be... She is pretty, right? Or at least sane... isn't she?"

Zack refused to answer, the girl was pretty, but she was scary and there was something off about her. He wondered if she was even human... and he still needed to get a present for the other girl.

Mission 55: Business Consultant

"I'm here to see a business consultant not you," Cloud explained for the millionth time.

"The official business consultants are busy so I got this mission to take some of their appointments. Rude, Tseng and Elena are doing it too," Reno explained.

Cloud sighed in frustration. The Turks' way of doing business was far from lawful and he really couldn't imagine them as business consultants. Maybe Tseng and Rude could use their experience being at Shinra as a way to gain business knowledge, and Elena had been in the company for less time but she must have picked up a few things by now. Reno however, no wonder how long he stayed with Shinra, Cloud could never imagine him as a semi-decent business consultant.

"So," the redhead took a bunch of papers and aligned them perfectly then looked over them, aligning them on the desk again, and finally setting them down in front of him. "How may I help you?"

If Cloud was feelings lost and annoyed before, and above all ripped off, because the business consultant fee was rather high and paid on advance with no returns, now he really felt like he was about to have a breakdown. The papers Reno had been organizing and looking at were completely empty. The fact was obvious, but apparently missed by Reno. Thus Cloud couldn't help it but to point it out, "Reno, those papers are blank."

"I know; it's just that all the desk job people always organize papers like that and look over them before asking how they can help, so I thought it would help me get into the part." Reno's explanation didn't make Cloud feel any better about entrusting his business to the Turk.

"I would feel better if I had someone else as my business consultant," Cloud pouted and crossed his arms. He should have known coming to Shinra for any reason would turn out to be a bad idea.

"I'm the only one handling this kind of requests," Reno grumbled as if he had just remembered that he was upset about the kind of requests he was assigned to work on.

Cloud had to ask. "What do you mean this kind of requests?"

"Requests marked as UI; that stands for unimportant. It's not fair, why don't they trust me with the important stuff? Even the rookie got better business consultant requests than me!" Now it was Reno's turn to pout in frustration.

"How do you think that makes me feel? They marked my business concerns as unimportant and handed them to you of all people! I have very important questions about expanding the business, with all the deliveries I've been doing lately." Cloud did not mention that those deliveries came due to the publicity generated thanks to a series of Turk-caused public humiliations for Cloud. The delivery boy had blocked out those memories and convinced himself that he was getting more delivery requests because he was doing a good job.

"I'm out of here, forget the mission. I know Tifa runs the Seventh Heaven as a restaurant at this hour, but do you think she'll open the bar early?" Reno asked.

Cloud had the same expression of complete frustration remaining on his face and Reno was most unhelpful. "I don't know, maybe she will if you promise to buy a lot. I need to get back to work, but I'm so frustrated right now..." Cloud reached for his sword as if decapitating someone would make him feel better.

"Hold on, this isn't my fault. I wasn't the one who classified the appoints and gave your request the unimportant stamp," Reno defended. "Besides, if you really don't feel like working, don't. Maybe I'll head to Costa Del Sol for the afternoon instead, the bars there are open all day anyway. Want a ride on the chopper?"

The invitation was unexpected and Cloud was unsure. "I don't know, I was supposed to get back to work after talking to the business consultant, but that's not happening, so I should get back to work right away." Or maybe he should go hunt down whoever labeled his business as unimportant.

"Hey relax; you shouldn't take life so seriously," it was advice that Reno followed very well. "The beach waits for no one, I'm out of here."

Cloud mused over the situation and finally followed after Reno, "wait up, I'm coming too!" Thus it was proven that Reno can corrupt just about anyone.

Mission 56: Success! Or Maybe Not?

"It worked!" Reno happily cheered.

Yuffie's constant "Yay! Yay! Yay!" filled the air as the ninja hopped around in pure bliss.

"It really worked this time!" Elena wiped away a tear and sighed happily, staying close to Tseng.

The Turk leader wrapped his arms around Elena, "he finally did it."

Yes it was true, or so it seemed, Cloud had finally done it, he confessed his feelings for Tifa, and the Turks caught it all on video.

Rude, the designated camera man, replayed the video on the digital camera's little screen for everyone to relive the glorious moment. This was not only a victory for Cloud but for the Turks as well, since they had worked so hard to push Cloud into confessing his feelings. If Rude was sad that he had to watch his crush be stolen away while he could only record the event, he hid it very well and remained quiet and composed as he had always been.

In the small high definition screen, the image of a man with spiky blond hair came into view. He was speaking to a woman with long black hair who was facing away from both him and the camera. "I've been meaning to tell you this for a long time..." Cloud didn't even give her the chance to turn around before he finally spilled his heart out, summarizing his longtime bottled up feelings in three little words, "I love you!"

The recording then replayed the sounds of the Turks and ninja cheering. The Wutai girl had stolen plenty of gil to fund the missions she sent the Turks on, which consisted on finding ways to push Cloud into confessing his feelings. In truth, the gil was mostly stolen from Cloud himself, but it was for his own good, so Yuffie told herself that he would understand.

The four Turks and the ninja stood arms in arms, as if the five of them were posing for a victory picture. "Great job, I might not hate Shinra so much anymore, or at least not the Turks." It was saying a lot coming from Yuffie who had always been, and still was, filled with Wutaian pride.

"We always finish the mission because we're Turks!" Reno assured; it was just the way things worked. No matter what happened, no matter what hardships and difficulties stood in their way, no matter what they had to go through, or put the world through, the Turks always finished their missions one way or another.

However, while the Turks and ninja were busy with their early celebration, the color on Cloud's face was drained completely as he stood wide eyed and open mouthed, jaw almost reaching the floor, staring at the woman before him. She had long black hair, that much he knew for sure, her style of clothing was very similar to Tifa's, those were things one could easily tell by looking, but when she turned around it was revealed that she was not Tifa, rather a very pleased stranger. "Me too, I feel the same way, Mr. Hotness!"

Cloud yelped and dashed up the stairs to hide in his room, while the real Tifa who had witnessed the entire ordeal yelled "Cloud Strife, come back here this instant!" and dashed after him.

The Turks went silent, Rude grinned mischievously for a split second before regaining his ever present neutral expression, and Yuffie pouted. "I don't like the Turks after all," the ninja huffed.

Mission 57: Piano Sword

"Why do I always get stuck working with Strife?" Reno's complaints were a bad way for Cloud to start his delivery and an even worse way for Reno to start his mission. They were both currently in Shinra's main lobby in the first floor.

"I should be the one complaining," Cloud grumbled under his breath, but he knew he had no room to complain. Planet friendly or not, Shinra was still Shinra, and Shinra was a monopoly. Planet Power, right... it was just a name to hide the reputation of the past of Shinra Electric Power. Even so, they supplied oil based electric power and they had plenty of customers to consume it, since the production of coal was decreasing and mako was forbidden.

Regardless of the past that occurred or the future that awaited; the fact still stood that in the present, Tifa Lockhart carried the debt of overdue electrical bills. For that, Cloud Strife felt guilty because he had certainly been consuming electricity, water and food at Tifa's home, but he had not been contributing as much as he should. Tifa had been kind enough not to kick him out, but she did request his help. If Cloud could deliver Rufus' piano to the top floor of the new Shinra headquarters, then the president would forgive Tifa's debt.

"Where are the Turks?" Cloud inquired, hoping with all his might that the other Turks were simply late, and that the harsh task of carrying a piano up the stairs did not end up falling upon just the two of them, because the piano didn't fit in the regular elevator and there was no cargo elevator.

"They can't come, they had to go out on last minute missions," Reno pouted and crossed his arms. "Now I'm stuck helping you with the piano all by myself. You're the delivery boy; you should be doing this on your own!"

Cloud felt his eye twitch and resisted the urge to try out his sword on Reno; after all, he had recently polished the large blade and did not wish to get it dirty. Besides, there was a certain amount of truth to Reno's words. Cloud was the delivery boy and Rufus was paying more than Cloud would normally charge for one of his deliveries even if it wasn't in gil, but in erasing Tifa's debt which was partly his own. Then again, Cloud wouldn't be crazy enough to accept this kind of delivery in a normal situation.

The spiky haired blond shook his head and unsheathed his sword causing the redhead Turk to jump into a defensive position holding his electrorod in front of him, as if to shield himself from the blow of the giant blade. "Relax, I'm not going to kill you, because then I'll have to carry the piano to the top floor on my own." Cloud glanced over at the receptionist who was curiously watching the scene from the front desk. "I'm going to leave this here for a while, okay?" She nodded while hiding a giggle and he placed his sword against the wall behind her desk.

"Let's get this over with, I'll go first since I'm probably better at walking backwards," Reno offered, and Cloud agreed without giving it much thought. The Turk was just looking to take the easy way out, since the one at the bottom would have to support most of the weight of the piano while going up the stairs, while the one at the top's main duty would be to navigate.

However, on the inside Reno was grinning victoriously. His mission: to separate Cloud from his sword, was accomplished and he didn't even have to do anything. Where there is Shinra, there is plotting and where there is a Turk, nothing is what it appears to be.

Mission 58: Piano Avalanche

Tifa had some overdue electricity bills, which Cloud was unable to help with even if he consumed part of that electricity. Rufus had promised to take care of her debt in exchange for Strife Delivery Service taking a piano to his office. Cloud was in no position to deny the request, which Tifa had already accepted in his name. Thus the delivery boy found himself carrying a piano up the stairs with Reno, because it didn't fit in the elevator.

The two men carried the piano up the stairs in blissful silence. Cloud felt the full weight of the piano in his arms, but as long as Reno kept his mouth shut, Cloud wouldn't mind carrying all the weight himself.

"So Strife," Reno cruelly murdered the peaceful silence, "how did you get this piano from the Seventh Heaven all the way to the Shinra lobby anyway? I mean, I saw you carry it in, but you couldn't have carried it all the way, right?"

"Fenrir, and be quiet," Cloud replied.

"Fenrir? You mean your motorcycle? Isn't it a bit small for this big piano?" Reno continued speaking, despite Cloud's warning glare.

"I tied it, and be quiet Reno, you're breaking my concentration." Cloud half growled.

"Temper, temper," Reno shook his head leaning on the piano, oh yes, he was actually leaning on the piano, adding his own weight to the weight of the large instrument which, needless to say, was very uncomfortable for Cloud, despite how strong he was. "It would have been a funny image though, seeing you drive around with a huge piano tied to your motorcycle. I bet people pointed and stared when you were on your way here. I wonder if anyone took any pictures, it's too bad I didn't get to see it."

"Shut up!" The piano slipped out of Cloud's grasp and pushed him back, causing him to fall against the stairs. The pull of gravity made the piano fall on Cloud, harshly pass over him, and continue slipping down the stairs with Reno holding on to it. The Turk climbed on top of the piano, unable to stop its treacherous descent down the stairs, while Cloud desperately called, "Reno, get off the piano and stop it!"

Reno jumped off the piano, landing on Cloud and pushing him on the stairs again. "Thanks for catching me, I owe you one," Reno got to his feet, seemingly unharmed, and down bellow, the piano reached the end of the stairs with a loud destructive crash.

Cloud's back was killing him, and Tifa would really kill him when she found out that Rufus' piano was destroyed, thus annihilating the deal to erase her electricity bill debt. To top it all up, Cloud would probably have to pay for the ruined piano. "Reno!"

Reno bolted up the stairs at an inhuman speed, with a murderous Cloud dashing after him, ready to rip him apart with his bare hands. The two reached the top floor at record breaking speed, and continued towards Rufus' office. "President!" Reno ran circles around Rufus' desk with an enraged Cloud close behind. "I brought someone who has something to tell you!"

Reno's second mission had been secretly accomplished, to destroy the piano and have Cloud somehow take part in it, even if it was accidental and unwilling. Now Rufus had Cloud right where he wanted him...

Mission 59: Cookies

Hello door, meet key card. It was the story of Shinra and it happened every time all the time. When ever an employee, be it someone totally dispensable as most were, a high executive, or a Turk, came and went around the building, they had to use keycards, otherwise the doors simply would not open past a certain level.

"Mr. Turk!" That's why Reno never suspected the little girl to come so close to causing disaster. Of course she was too young to actually work for Shinra, that fact was obvious when Reno looked down at the little voice. She must be the daughter of an executive; she must have gotten bored and wandered off getting lost in the large facilities.

"Hey kid, are you lost? Whose office are you looking for?" At least the child was smart enough to know he was a Turk. Some of the adult employees sometimes couldn't tell who was a Turk and who was a regular Shinra employee and it made Reno wonder how they managed to keep their jobs if they didn't even know that.

The little girl shook her head then set her oversized plastic bag on the floor in front of her and took a few cookie boxes out of it to show them to Reno. "I'm selling cookies! I have chocolate covered, chocolate chip, salty, cheesy, and vanilla."

"You're some kind of girl scout?" So it turned out the kid wasn't lost, she was off to do business while her parent worked, or at least that's what Reno assumed.

The little girl nodded, "yup! Do you want to buy a box of cookies? They're only ten gil." She proceeded to use the sad kitten eyes tactic, though the pictures on the boxes were already effective enough.

Reno didn't know how they did it, but when ever he looked at those pictures in the cookie boxes he wanted to devour all the delicious cookies inside. It was late and Rufus hasn't left Shinra Headquarters. At this rate it would be a several hours before Reno had the chance to eat a decent dinner, but if there were cookies available for him to take back to the office, then he might as well have that for dinner while he guarded Rufus. It wasn't all that rare; Reno was known to stuff his face with sweets any time, for any reason, sweets which he more often than not stole from Rude. Reno's stomach growled encouraging his choice to purchase the cookies, "alright, I'll buy the cookies." Thus it was done, and the girl ended up selling her last dozen cookie boxes.

As Reno made his way his way to Rufus' office with the bag full of cookie boxes, he felt odd. Turks didn't go around buying cookies from girl scouts; it just wasn't Turk-like. Then there was that little voice in the back of his head, that Reno was certain had been permanently silenced long ago, which told him he might be rewarded for his kindness.

Then Tseng of all people received him with a relieved sounding "great job handling the situation," as soon as Reno entered Rufus' office. The president, who looked like he was suffering from a stress induced headache, nodded in acknowledgement while Reno stood there in surprise.

"What did I do? I mean, I fully accept the credit but I want to hear some feedback and stuff." Maybe, just maybe, that little voice was right, and an act of kindness, even if it was driven by hunger, would be rewarded after all.

"An employee, or I should say an ex-employee, of Shinra stole some secret data and hid it in a cookie box that was left unattended on a neighboring desk. We suspect he knew the cookies belonged to another employee's daughter and he planned to later buy the cookie box to get the data out undetected. Fortunately, though the security camera in that particular corner of the office was sabotaged, most likely by the same culprit, someone saw this man putting something in a cookie box, thought it was suspicious, and reported it. Rude, Elena and I put the pieces together with our investigation while you were missing. But since you recovered the data without alerting anyone of the situation and also made the Turks look good by buying the cookies, I will overlook your momentary disappearance, just his once," Tseng explained.

"Finally, it's about time this was solved," Rufus ran his fingers through his hair then announced, "I'm tired and I still have a headache. Tseng, Elena, I'll leave this matter to you. Reno, Rude, to the chopper, take me home."

Tseng and Elena took the bags full of cookie boxes from Reno, "my cookies!" Reno complained.

That caused Rufus to cringe and growl, "shut up!"

Wanting to avoid trouble, and possibly doom, Rude clasped his hand over Reno's mouth and dragged him away; because when Rufus had a headache, he started shooting when people didn't shut up. Some rewards are worse than no reward at all...

Mission 60: Missing

"He didn't deliver it?" Tifa's statement was full of worry, as if the item to be delivered would decide the fate of the entire world.

"No, and if I don't receive it soon..." Vincent looked at his golden claw; it was already starting to lose its shine and he needed more polish.

"Cloud was happy with how well his delivery business has been doing lately. He wouldn't miss out on a delivery. Do you think something happened to him?" Sure Cloud was strong, as strong as a first class soldier, even if he was never officially ranked as one. But Tifa still worried about him, what if that business consultant Cloud went to see at Shinra said something mean that threw him into another depression? "Poor Cloud..."

"Shall we search for him?" Vincent asked, Cloud had his polish and he couldn't wait for it any longer.

"Yes, I'll close the Seventh Heaven for now and search too." So it was done, Tifa and Vincent searched for Cloud all over Midgar.

While time passed and their search remained fruitless, their worries increased. They also requested the help of their friends but none had seen the delivery boy recently. Finally, Tifa made the choice to hire the Turks for an emergency mission.

"I see..." Tseng paused to give the situation some thought. The emergency request was welcomed since that would mean he could take a break from working as a business consultant and get back into the action.

"What about my ranch?" The chocobo rancher asked. Truthfully, he didn't understand anything Tseng said anyway. It wasn't that the Turk leader spoke in particularly complex terms, the rancher was simply outdated.

"Just keep doing what you've been doing so far." It was terrible advice and Tseng knew it, but he also knew that the rancher would continue to do so even if he was strongly advised against it.

Once the chocobo rancher was gone, Tseng called the other Turks for an emergency meeting and realized that one of them was missing. "Where's Reno?"

Rude and Elena did not have an answer for that question and Tifa frowned, because if Reno was missing, then that was reason enough to believe he was to blame. When in doubt, blame Reno, because most, if not all the time, you'll be right.

Thanks to the tracking device on Reno's PHS, finding him was easy, and they also found Cloud in Costa del Sol. Both Cloud and Reno were badly sunburned and in pain, but that didn't save Reno from being scolded by Tseng.

Tifa however, was far more forgiving to Cloud, "I'm glad you're alright!"

Tifa gave Cloud a hug which he would have loved if he wasn't so sunburned. "Ow! Don't do that!" Cloud jumped away from Tifa and saw her upset expression when her affection was apparently rejected. "Tifa, I..."

"Fine, be that way you ingrate!" Tifa fumed and stomped away muttering something about ungrateful idiots.

Meanwhile, Vincent stood to the side looking upset and feeling ignored. "What about my polish?"

End of Report VI

Disclaimer, I don't own Final Fantasy VII. Missions 51 was inspired by les yeux sans visage who asked what happened to Reno's stalker. Mission 52 is a spin-off from the concept of Delivery 20 requested by Rei Mumei. The girl who wanted Reno as her present in Mission 54 is the body of thoughts made from the love of all the Reno fan girls. What she's really asking for is a fan service gift for all the fan girls who created her so it's not really that much of a selfish request, hence why Aerith allowed it. The sister of the Reno fan girl body of thoughts is a similar being, but she was made from the thoughts of the fan girls of a different bishounen. The idea for Mission 54 came from a conversation I had with Snow. Mission 56 was requested by xOx-Just-Like-Yesterday-xOx. The Costa del Sol saga includes Mission 55, Delivery 28 and Mission 60, requested by Sharem. I also credit Sharem for the term "sleep-killing" used on Mission 51. The stories "Missions" and "Deliveries" are connected but can be generally understood as separate collections. The piano saga was inspired by a "Deliveries" request by kikofreako. It is made out of Cloud's delivery duties and Reno's missions revolving around the same piano. It includes Delivery 25, Mission 57, Mission 58 and Delivery 26.