FicWad

‘Gerard! Stop please!’ I cried. My face was against a brick wall, my body in his control. ‘Stop! It hurts!!!’

‘Shu’ up!’ He growled in my ear. I could do nothing but wait till he was done. I couldn’t fight him off, he was stronger than me. Even if I could fight him off, I wouldn’t. My heart belonged to the man raping me. Or what was left of him. It wasn't Gerard raping me, it was the alcohol.
I thought of all the good times we had when I felt his warm seed release and fill me. Something I used to enjoy.

‘See Frankie? Co-operate and you don’t get hurt.’ He sneered in my ear, pulling out of me. I dropped to the ground, my body too weak to hold itself up. I crawled into the corner and hugged my knees, keeping my body parts concealed. Gerard went to the fridge for another shot of vodka. I wanted to run. He was drunk off his face but no-one could tell. He had learned to control his speech and almost had walking down. One thing he couldn’t get a grip on was his mood swings.
While he downed 4 shotties, I took my chance and ran for the bedroom, locking the door for protection. It wasn't long till he realized I wasn't there anymore. I got dressed as he banged on the door.

‘Frankie? Baby, let me in.’ He said sweetly.

‘Let me get dressed okay?’ I had to be careful. If I wasn't nice, he’d kick the door in.

‘Okay babe.’ I heard his footsteps trail away. I had about 3 minutes before he came back, pissed off. The amount of times that door had been kicked in was unbelievable. The wood frame had to be replaced at least 20 times since we’d moved in a year ago. I quickly ran to the small bathroom in our bedroom. Locking that door too, I ran in the built in shower. I was glad it was built into the wall, I could hide easier since it wasn't all glass.
Right on cue, Gerard kicked in our bedroom door. I cowered against the dark tiles.

‘Baby, come out.’ His voice echoed through the door. He didn’t wait for me to reply as usual, he just kicked the door in and watched the splinters fly.

‘Please don’t find me, please don’t find me.’ I whispered to myself over and over again. I saw his shadow pass over me. I tried one last time.

‘Please baby. Please don’t hurt me.’ I cried softly. A sadistic smile spread across his face.

‘Why won’t you learn?’ was the last thing I heard before…. Nothing.

3 MONTHS LATER.

I could hear beeping, a really annoying beeping. It was hard to breathe, there was something in my throat. Before I could move my hand up to rip it out, a team of doctors and nurses ran in. one tried to explain what was going on but I wasn't listening. The only thing that was on my mind was Gerard.

‘Did you hear me, Mr. Iero? This is going to hurt.’ Before I could question her, the tube in my throat was pulled out. She was right, it did hurt. I started coughing. That hurt even worse.

‘Wh……where’s Gerard?’ I managed to rasp out.

‘Mr. Way hasn’t visited for more than 3 weeks.’ She looked sadd. I couldn’t imagine why, it’s not like she knew or cared. ‘Would you like us to call him?’ I just nodded.
It took the nurses at least an hour to disconnect me from the heart monitor, IV’s and whatever else I was hooked up to. One of them was kind enough to hand me the TV remote. I left the remote beside me as I read my injury reports.
Broken Leg (L)
Broken Arm (L)
4 Broken Ribs
2 Cracked Ribs
Crushed Pelvis
Collapsed Lung (R)
Lacerations To Skull
Mass Blood Loss

I put the report under my pillow. I didn’t even get to the comments or pictures. I didn’t want to see it so I picked up the remote. While I channel flipped, I heard the door open. I turned my head and almost screamed, I would have if I didn’t think twice. Gerard stood at the door with tears in his eyes.
I reached my arms out like a small child wanting to be picked up. He took his time walking over to me, it seemed like forever till he was at my bedside. His tears were dripping down his face as he looked at my bed sheets. I forced my stiff body to sit. Gerard still stood there. I reached my arms out yet again and tried to hug him but he took a step back. I looked at him with a confused expression. All I wanted was a hug.

‘I-I can’t…. I’m so sorry for putting you in here baby. I don’t want to hurt you again…’ he mumbled, still not looking me in the eye. I stuck my legs over the edge of my bed and slowly got down. It felt weird to have pressure on them. Gerard looked to me with shock.

‘You shouldn’t be out of bed.’
I smirked at him. He should have known me better than that. I reached my arms out for the last time. Gerard sighed and hugged me. I was weak so I couldn’t hold onto him like I wanted to. He picked me up and placed me back on the bed, letting go of me. I tapped the space next to me, signaling Gerard to sit with me. Again, he sighed and sat on the bed bit me. He still refused to look at me. I was determined to make him look at me. I rested my head on his shoulder.

‘Why don’t you hate me?’ Gerard asked. I wish I could answer but it hurt too much. He looked at me, sticking his pointer finger up and jumping off the bed. He left the room, only to return seconds later with a mini whiteboard in his hand. I smiled.

I don’t hate you because I still love you.

I held the board out so he could read it.

‘But why? Look what I did to you…. I almost killed you.’ He sounded disgusted.

So? I’ll get over it…. In fact, I already have. Now, it’s your turn.

‘I can’t.’ He whispered.

Don’t you love me anymore? I wrote, wearing a hurt expression as I showed him the board.

‘Of course I love you! I never stopped loving you…. Life isn’t the same without you beside me.’ He held my hands, squeezing them for reassurance. I took one hand from his embrace to write.

Take me home? I looked up at him, watching him read my short message.

‘After they clear you….’ He looked me in the eye, tears rolling down his cheeks.

Please don’t cry. I hate seeing you upset.

He smiled at me and got off the bed. I thought he was leaving me. He saw the terror on my face and kissed my cheek so gently that I barley felt the touch.

‘I’m just going to see how long you’ll be in here. I promise I’ll come back.’ He kissed my cheek again and left the room.
I waited on my bed, not moving an inch.

‘2 days, baby and you’ll be out.’ He smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes. He was still sadd.

If you don’t want to take me with you, I’ll stay with my mum.

‘No, baby. I want you to come home with me. It’s just that….. I’m afraid to hurt you again.’

But you won’t. I trust you Gee.

He smiled at me and hugged me tight, being careful of my ribs.

Those 2 days felt like 2 centuries to me. Gerard wasn't allowed in because I was getting therapy. I didn’t think I needed it but they seemed to think I was incapable of speaking. In all honesty, I didn’t speak because I didn’t want to. I spoke to Gerard, that was it. They bribed me, threatened me and begged but I refused. They eventually gave up and let me go.

‘Ready babe?’ Gerard asked, holding my personal items in one arm, my hand in the other. I nodded, smiling like a fool. I was just glad to leave that damned hospital.
Gerard sat me in his car, being overly gentle with my frail body. The drive home was great. I had missed so much. What used to be an empty field, had become a block of houses. New trees were growing. New Jersey seemed so different to me.
We pulled up outside our familiar home. It was still red bricked, same windows. It seemed like Gerard hadn’t done anything to change it.
‘Welcome home babe.’ He whispered. I smiled at him.

He unlocked the front door, letting me go in first. It was exactly the same, except a few more painting had been put on the walls. Other than that, nothing had changed. The furniture hadn’t moved, the CD’s still sat in the corner. Another difference that caught my eye, only noticing it as I walked into the kitchen, was a glass cabinet against a wall….. The wall I had been repeatedly raped against.

‘I-I didn’t like the memories of that…. Wall.’ Gerard stuttered, staring at our reflections. I wrapped my arms around his waist, creating a happier reflection.
Gerard told me to go take a shower while he unpacked my things and made coffee. I walked down the hall, remembering that night. The door was back on its hinges, as was the bathroom door. The bathroom was spotless.
I took my time in the shower, avoiding one corner. Although I knew Gerard wouldn’t hurt me again, I was still afraid to step there.
It felt good to have a shower on my own. In the hospital, the doctors didn’t trust my stability so I always had a nurse in there with me. I worse boxers of course, I didn’t want some pervy nurse looking at me.

It took Gerard a few days to be able to touch me again. At night, he would just lay beside me. He’d kiss me before going to work. When he got back, he’d hug me slightly. But after he got comfortable, he wrapped his arms around me at night. He’s actually kiss me before and after work. It was just like it used to be before the alcohol. And that’s how it was going to stay, one way or another.

Okay, im just trying my hand at a one-shot. i know its shit. i cant write one-shots, dont ask why. i know they're the easiest but i just cant do it! tell me what you think! PLEASE?!?! xox E
Just fixing a few spelling errors that occurred while I was half asleep :)