Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > A Heart On The Mend

5. Secret

by Firith 0 reviews


Category: Panic! At The Disco - Rating: R - Genres:  - Published: 2009-05-22 - Updated: 2009-05-22 - 1157 words - Complete


Sitting on the doctor’s lounge, Faith started thinking about the pregnancy again. She was free for the time being and the US would only take a couple of minutes.

“Good evening. I didn’t see you down there…” Mikey’s voice snapped Faith out of her head.

“Hi.” She gave him a small smile. Mikey looked at her funny. “What?”

“Are you okay?” He said, staring at her like he could read her. And he could, which was the worse part.

“I’m fine.”

“You’re not.” He stated and sat to the table nursing a coffee.

“Fine, then I’m not. Why do you even ask?” Faith said with a chuckle. Mikey smirked that knowing smirk she had learned to hate.

“You’re pregnant.” He stated again. Faith’s eyes went wide open. “Haven’t you heard about the pregnancy aura? I live with it.” He said, sipping his coffee. “What did Ryan say?”

“Haven’t told him.” Faith crossed her arms on her chest, feeling suddenly cold and exposed. There weren’t words to explain how much she hated Mikey when he did that.

“I see.” Mikey said and didn’t ask anything else.

Faith stood up. “Page me if you need me.”

Yeah, it was a really good time to check with Spencer now.


Dr. Spencer Smith was washing his hands when the OB nurse told him the newborn stats. Even when the c-section was extremely urgent, the baby was alive and so far it would make it. The PICU had already a crib for the newborn and it would be taken up any minute now. It made Spencer smile. He hated to start his night shifts with bad news. He informed the nurse he’d be taking a bite in his room and she should call him if she had any emergency.

When he got in, he realized he had company.

“Faith! Good evening…” He said in his merry way and sat on the table.

“Night, Spence. How’s work so far? Walker told me you had an emergency surgery.”

“Yeah, a premature with a nasty maternal sepsis… I had to perform a c-section, but baby and mom are fine now.”

“Great.” Faith said with no real emotion. And Spencer knew her too well.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, leaving his sandwich back on the table.

“I need to ask you a favor, Spence.” She said without looking up. “I’m pregnant.” She confessed and Spencer froze. “I need you to make me an ultrasound.”

“Y-yeah sure…”

“But that’s not the favor.” This time she looked at him with pleading eyes.

“Then what is it?”

“I don’t want Ryan to know.” Faith faced down again and took a deep breath. She hated hiding this from Ryan, but if her suspicions were correct, there was no point in telling him either.

“Faith, I think he deserves---”

“I have a really bad feeling about this, Spencer. It doesn’t feel…right.”

“Oh.” Spencer stopped cold again. It wasn’t the first time that some mom told him something similar and they were always right.

“That’s why I need the ultrasound and that’s why I’m asking you to do it.” Faith bit her lip and clutched her belly unconsciously. Spencer looked at her and stood up.

“C’mon, the US is free and the nurse won’t bother me for a while.”

Faith’s palms were sweating when the got to the US room and her hands were shaking uncontrollably as she stripped down her clothes and wrapped on the sheet that Spencer offered. Neither of them spoke while the machine fired up.

“How long-” Spencer asked.

“8 weeks and 4 days.” Faith interrupted getting more nervous by the second; Spencer nodded and entered her name and such to the computer. Then he got to work.

Faith closed her eyes at the cold feeling of the US gel in her insides and flinched a little, averting her eyes from the screen. Spencer moved the transducer around as the minutes stretched out. Faith only wanted an answer and got it when Spencer sighed.

“You’re right.”

“What?” Faith gulped.

“It’s hollow. It’s a blighted ovum.”


Back in the OB lounge with Spencer, Faith stared at the US pic in her hand. The empty membrane where a 1 inch embryo should be and wasn’t. She didn’t know how to feel about that… Relieved? Sad? Scared? All of the above? Cause that’s how it felt anyways. For a moment she had actually played with the chance of becoming a mom. A single mom if she had to, there was no problem in that either. She could easily sustain her kid alone, sacrificing a few working hours… but that wasn’t the case. There was no baby and she wouldn’t have to worry about telling Ryan, giving up night shifts and get a bigger apartment.

Neither of them spoke for what it felt like a long time. Faith was chewing on her lip, thinking and Spencer just waited for her to talk.

“Get it out.” Faith finally said.

“What you mean?”

“Get it off me.” Faith said again, this time looking at Spencer blankly.

“You mean a D&C?” Spencer asked and Faith nodded. “Faith, you know--”

“I know how it works, Spencer. Wait till the 12th week for it to come out by itself and blahblah.” She sighed and rubbed her face. “I need it out of me.”

“Okay. When?” Spencer crossed his arms, wanting to hear how Faith expected to do it without Ryan finding out. A dilation & curettage meant checking in for at least a day.

“This Saturday, in your clinic. Ryan is working, so you can keep me all day there on observation.”

“What about Sunday? We’re working this week.”

“Yeah, and I’ll be here and so will you. If anything happens, I’ll just have to run down the hall and let you know.”

It always had surprised Spencer how Faith could remain so unmoved by situations, having such cool logic all the time. It came to him that it was part of her surgeon training. Apparently, they could turn you into a robot.


Alone in the doctor’s lounge, Faith kept staring at the US pic. Now she felt really sick and wanted to go home.

“You look like crap.” Mikey interrupted her silence again.

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” She said standing up to make herself a cup of coffee.

“May I ask why?” Mikey said quietly after she sat on the table. Faith looked at him, knowing he was resuming their previous conversation. She pulled the US pic from her pocket.

“Do these explain it?”

Mikey looked at them and nodded, giving her the pics back.

“Hope you keep it quiet though.”

“Yeah, let’s add it to the vast amount of secrets we share.” He said somewhat sarcastically.
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