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Ch. 11--- Sentimental Words Only Get You in a Locker

"It's karma." Pete smiled proudly, falling down beside me on one of the uncomfortably wooden seats in the library. "It's what you get for not only trying to deafen me, but for calling me fat and then spending your morning with your creepy tale pale artist person."

"For the last fucking time Pete, it's Gerard." I said with a frustrated sigh, flipping mindlessly through the pages of one of the old thick textbooks; my head resting in my hand and my eyes glazed over as my mind was far from the Great Depression. "Call him by his given name or just stop fucking talking about him."

"Who names their kid Gerard?" Pete asked as he tipped the chair back, raising his legs and crossing his ankles on the table then putting his hands behind his head.

"Obviously his parents." I said, giving the corner of the chair a nice push so he fell backwards to the ground. "Either help me or leave me alone because you're only annoying me further."

"You're very aggressive today." Pete frowned, rubbing his head and sitting up beside the chair. "Somebody needs to get laid." He smirked, standing the chair back up and resuming his position. "All that sexual tension building up is making you a very mean person."

"Or you're just really annoying me." I said through a slightly clenched jaw. My notebook still rested beside me, completely blank and ink free since I hadn't gotten so far as to actually read the text then write it down.

"Pete? Annoying?" Brendon waltzed towards us with a stupid grin on his face, his arm bent as he had a rather firm hold on today's scarf around Ryan's neck, leading him along like a dog. "Never." He answered sarcastically, falling down then yanking Ryan onto his lap, almost causing the poor kid to drop his books everywhere. It's rather amusing to see Brendon this controlling since you spend five minutes with him and learn that he won't hurt a venomous snake unless he really had to.

"Your sarcasm is soooo amusing." Pete said, rolling his eyes. "I think we need to save Frankie here from whatever the hell he's doing in this godforsaken place and get him into bed with...Gerard, is it?"

"Thank you for using his name." I moved my arm so my head fell into the book, the old smell nearly gagging me as dust flew off the pages. "And, unlike you, I'm not overly concerned with getting into bed with him immediately."

"Good for you." Ryan said, smiling shyly as he set his stuff on the table, opening one of his notebooks and starting to write whatever it is he's doing.

"Yeah; and if he continues to ignore his cock's dying need, it will dry and shrivel up." Pete said, making Brendon laugh and Ryan give him a bizarre look.

"What do you know about that?" I asked, raising my head from the book again and looking at Pete with a raised eyebrow. "Your cock is always up Patrick."

"Other way around." Brendon said and I nearly choked with a burst of laughter, Pete going red then taking his shoe off and whipping it at Brendon. Fortunately, Pete has horrible aim because if he didn't, he would have hit Ryan. But then again, if he didn't have horrible aim, he wouldn't have hit the librarian either.

"Fuck!" Pete squealed as the elder lady toppled over from the blow to her unusually large beehive. "Gotta go." He jumped up from the chair and started for the door, all three of us laughing as he left, the librarian huffing and pulling herself back to her feet, glaring at us but obviously seeing that the shoe didn't come from any of us.

"How did you know that?" Ryan asked, tilting his head back to look at Brendon who took the opportunity to lock Ryan's lips with his.

"I didn't." Brendon triumphantly smiled. "But now I do." He beamed.

"That's how you learn stuff with Pete." I explained, giving up on this stupid paper and closing the book, shoving the notebook into my backpack. "You have to get him to indirectly tell you; trap him into the truth."

"Why though?" It was times like this I wondered how Ryan even survived this long. He can be incredibly naive and it's kind of annoying. "That's kind of something personal?"

"You mean like how Brendon is completely submissive and you can get incredibly dominant?" I asked with a smirk and another raised eyebrow, Ryan going white and nearly falling over. "Ryro, poor, naive, perfect-student Ryan, you go to a community with a bunch of queens and scary ass lesbians." I stood up and swung my backpack over my shoulder as Brendon hummed contently, staring off into space again. "Secrets are only a figment of your imagination." I said, walking towards the library doors to go find Gerard and yell at him for not helping me like he said he would.

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The halls seem ten times creepier during the day then they do at night. I probably watch too much horror as I walk through the empty halls, waiting for something to just jump out from a corner or a locker and eat my face, and I don't even know where I'm going. This place is huge. I don't think we even have enough kids on campus to fill this place. But then again, everything looks bigger when it's not filled with hysterical queens and flannel. I may, may be a little on the short side too.

My first stop was the art wing, figuring that perhaps Gerard was there, and I practically ran down the hall because the paintings, which were incredibly realistic, that hung behind the glass sent shivers through my spine. I kept thinking about how like in Scooby Doo there were people behind the pictures, their eyes becoming the eyes of the picture as they followed you. Gerard wasn't in the art room though; the door was locked and it just made my heart beat a little faster.

Continuing through the hall, I did run past the technology room, the sound of saws echoing through my subconscious and causing me to expect Jason to start chasing me with one, separating me limb by limb then sticking me in random lockers throughout the school. These fears are completely rational; when you're at the height of all discrimination and hate crimes, you have to expect anything at any time. Ok, maybe Jason and a chain saw is a bit extreme, that comes from the love of horror, but still. You know what I mean.

Just past the technology rooms, where the current hall ended in the middle of a new one going the perpendicular to my current position, were the music rooms. I could hear faint music coming out of one so I decided to head for it, where normally if I thought I was in a horror movie (completely rational), I wouldn't go towards the noise, hoping that perhaps someone I knew was on the other side of these walls. Even if I didn't know them, I would be happy for human contact because I don't like to be alone and well, I currently am. It's a shitty feeling and increases those horroresque thoughts.

When I reached the room, I quietly slipped my hand around the handle and pushed it down, giving the heavy sound-proof (almost) door a good tug to crack it open and look inside. The first things my eyes met made my heart nearly stop. Inside the room sat Ray and Gerard, a guitar in Ray's lap as he contently strummed away while Gerard's mouth formed to the words that had been muffled to my ears earlier. There was no way that voice was Gerard's. It was so...perfect. And Gerard's well...well I can't really say he's not perfect because I'm an infatuated teen so of course I think he is but if we're trying to be rational and serious here than I can't very well say it is because he's human and no humans are perfect. Except Jonny Depp. That man's perfect in all ways.

I slid myself into the room and kept mostly out of sight, helping the door quietly shut behind me as I listened. The music was beautiful and heartfelt; something I've never heard before so I'm assuming it was original. "It was a lie when they smiled and said 'you won't feel a thing'. And as we ran from the cops, we would laugh so hard it would sting." The way Gerard's mouth moved so flawlessly and the emotion behind his voice made me realize that the song was about someone he cared, or still does care, very much about. My back slid down the wall until I was sitting on the ground with my knees pulled to my chest, very close to tears because of the sheer beauty of not only the lyrics in the song but the singer himself; one look at him and tell me you don't believe in Heaven on Earth.

"If I'm so wrong, how can you listen all night long? Now will it matter after I'm gone? Because you never learned a goddamn thing." Ray quietly echoed Gerard's words with as much meaning as my boyfriend did and I couldn't stop myself from wondering if something happened between the two in the past. They seem to get on great with each other but there still seems to be that slight tension or history at the very least. "You're just a sad song, with nothing to say, about a life long wait for a hospital stay. And if you think that I'm wrong, this never meant nothing to you." I bit on my lower lip to keep myself silent, absorbing the words that surrounded me, dancing on the music being created from the afro man in the distance.

It seemed like days before they finished, releasing me from some world the two created that seemed to be free of pain, except that of the past, and as my mind came back to me, I realized that I had indeed started crying (silently thank god) because my cheeks were red and my eyes stung a bit. I wiped away the evidence and took a few deep breaths, not listening to Gerard and Ray discuss the song, making improvements and changes no doubt, before I stood up and stretched then painted a smile across my face and knocked on the door behind me. "Knock knock." I called as well and both boys glanced at me, smiles accompanying their glances.

"Hey Frankie." Ray spoke first, lowering his guitar to his side and sliding off the stool. "I'll talk to you later then?" He turned back to Gerard who nodded and shoved some notebooks into his backpack while Ray walked past me and out of the room, still smiling politely.

"What's up Frankie?" Gerard asked as I walked closer to him, pulling myself onto the stool that Ray had previously been on. He glanced at his watch and his expression seemed to drop some as he looked back to me. "Shit; I'm so sorry! I was supposed to meet you in the library, wasn't I?"

"Yeah; but it's no big deal." I shrugged, managing to cross my legs on the stool. "I started the stupid paper but Pete came in and harassed me then took out the little old lady librarian with his shoe." Gerard laughed nervously, still looking regretfully towards me.

"I was helping Ray practice." He said but I could tell that he knew I knew he was lying. To a certain degree. "We can go to the library now if you want or to the dorms or wherever else really."

"Who's the song about?" I asked, deciding it would be better not to beat around the bush.

"W-what?" Gerard asked, looking up from his bag where he had been sorting through its contents.

"The song you were singing and Ray was playing; who's it about?" I repeated and I could see the pain in Gerard's eyes which made me regret asking but at the same time, I can't help my curiosity. It's in all reality going to be the death of me; watch.

"Um..." Gerard looked at his lap, avoiding meeting my eyes. "I-I really like you Frank but...I-I'm not comfortable to tell you that...at least, not yet." He said quietly and nervously, almost afraid that I was going to lash out at him or something.

"Ok." I said simply and Gerard looked up to me with shock.

"Y-you're not upset?" He asked, his head tilting to the side a little.

"No." I shook my head, smiling slightly. "Why would I be? It's your life and as you indirectly said, you really don't know me that well." I uncrossed my legs and slid off the stool, extending my hand to my boyfriend. "Shall we go get to know each other better?"

"Y-yeah..." Gerard smiled, taking my hand and pulling his bag over his shoulder. "I'd like that." I helped him from his chair and we made our way to the door, my heart being at far more ease now that I wouldn't be walking the hallways on my own. "How long were you listening?" Gerard asked as we slowly walked through the vacant school.

"For awhile." I responded, swinging our arms just to be foolish. "I sat in front of the door."

"I didn't even notice." Gerard said, staring off into space.

"That's because I'm awesome and stealthy like that." I cockily grinned and Gerard laughed, rolling his eyes.

"More like you're short and invisible." He teased and I stopped, dropping my jaw and staring at him.

"How dare you!" I protested dramatically. "I not short and invisible!"

"Uh-huh." Gerard said, raising an eyebrow. "I bet I could fit you in my locker." He grinned.

"Doubt it." I scoffed and Gerard let go of my hand, fixing his bag so the strap extended across his body now instead before he suddenly shoved his arm between my legs and lifted me up, practically throwing me over his shoulder and starting off down the hall. "Hey! What are you doing?!" I asked, not really liking being carried by people after a bad childhood experience.

"Proving you wrong." Gerard answered with amusement, passing various lockers as he carried me towards his.

"What? You're not putting me in a fucking locker!" I protested.

"Judging by your current position," We stopped and I heard Gerard fiddling with a lock, "You have no choice." Again my jaw dropped and I tried to get free but at the same time I was kind of enjoying being this close to him; even if I felt like a child.

"These lockers are tiny though!" I whined, Gerard sliding the lock off and opening the green metal door.

"So are you." He replied, suddenly lowering me again. I tried to run away but Gerard held tightly to my shoulders, laughing as I struggled and somehow shoved me inside the cramped space that was empty (not that I can say my given locker is exactly bursting with books either) and shutting the door.

"Geeee!" I hit the locker, very surprised at exactly how much I could move inside the partially cramped space. "Let me out!" I pounded on the door, trying to pry it open when I heard a click on the outside. "You did not just lock me in here!"

"My hand slipped." Gerard answered amusedly.

"Please let me out? I'm short, ok?" I begged, only receiving laughter in return.

"I'm going to go take care of a few things in the art room." Gerard said, his footsteps leaving me. "I'll be back in a bit." I groaned and leaned my head against the dark, cold metal in front of me, the only light coming in through the small slits in the top.

"This is fucking Catholic school all over again..." I groaned, waiting for someone to come and release me. Being trapped did however give me time to plan my revenge on Gerard. He won't even know what hit him when I'm done. This is why you don't trust the quiet people; they're always the clinically cynical ones; no matter how fucking gorgeous they may be.