FicWad

I was confused, really confused. I’d had so many nightmares lately. I was beginning to be unsure about what was real and what was imagined. But, this was real. I was cold and wet and very, very scared. Although, I looked around and I could see that I wasn’t the only one. It was dark, but for the moon, partially obscured by a few clouds, and a few amber lights that lined the deck around the pool, but even in this dim light, I could see that Gerard had never looked paler.

I was practically dragged back towards the house, the pool to my left sparkling and glistening in the moonlight. Again I thought I saw something on the opposite side. I tried to stop, to turn and see what it was, but Gerard pulled me forward, his arms still wrapped around me.

He took me to my room and I stopped dead, refusing to go in. I don’t know why, but I just couldn’t do it. Gerard turned the handle and pushed the door open. And there it was; that crawling sensation you get when something is very wrong.

“Get dry and changed, Mikes, and we’ll wait for you in the library.”

I stared at Gerard, wide-eyed and panicked. I really didn’t want him to leave me alone in that room, my room. I can’t explain it, but it scared me, terrified me and at that moment, my proximity to it was heightened further by the sense of impending doom that seemed to permanently hang in the air.

“Gee, will you… I mean…” I couldn’t get the words out. I desperately wanted him to stay with me. I couldn’t be alone, not in that room.
“You want me to stay?”

It must be the brother thing, I don’t know, but whatever it was, he knew exactly what I wanted, just like he had when… I turned suddenly and stared at his eyes.

“Mikes?” he asked, puzzled by my sudden strange reaction to his thoughtfulness.
“Nothing. Sorry, I’m fine.”
“We’ll see you in a few minutes,” Gerard called to the others as he followed me inside the room.

Grabbing a towel from the overly elaborate gold-coloured rack that I had moved near to the wall after stubbing my toe on it several times, I started to peel off my dripping wet clothes.

“You got a shirt I can use?”

I turned to look at Gerard, naked from the waist up lying stretched backwards on the end of the bed, his jeans almost blending in with the deep blue sumptuous quilt that looked almost black. It wasn’t until then that I remembered that by the pool he had wrapped his arms tightly around me to stop me struggling. Immediately I realised that he too must be wet through. I smiled as he lay there making himself comfortable. He seemed relaxed, which I know must sound odd, because I knew he was worried about me, but I was in view and I was okay as long as he was there. I was amazed by his ability to know exactly how to react around me that would get me to be calm. But most of all I appreciated that he didn’t leave me, even for a moment, to go back to his room.

“Sure,” I replied throwing a shirt in his direction, aiming for his face. I have a good aim.
“You don’t seem suicidal.”

I looked back as I pulled on a dry pair of jeans. He was looking right at me with a questioning expression mixed with a hint of sadness that I wished I could erase. There are times when he can be unnervingly direct. I don’t think it’s intended to rattle me at all. If anything, he’s doing it to show me that there’s nothing we can’t discuss openly, without embarrassment or fear. I love that. But, somehow, this time, he caught me off guard.

“I’m not, Gee, I mean…”
“I know you’re not happy,” he announced to my surprise. “But you don’t seem suicidal.”

I looked down as I pulled on a new tee shirt. I didn’t know how to answer him. It was true, I wasn’t happy, but I hadn’t reached so desperate a stage at that time. It frightened me that they had pulled me from the pool. I truly had no recollection of going down there and I wondered how they would have noticed at that hour.
Looking up once more, my breath faltered as I looked towards the bed and realised I was on my own.

“Gee?” I called nervously; pausing as I received no reply. “Gee!”
“I’m here, Mikes.”

The voice came from behind me and I whirled around panic-stricken only to see him rummaging in one of the cupboards behind me. My heart pounded in my chest so violently I felt it might burst through and I gasped audibly. Gerard turned to face me and offered a half smile.

“I needed a bigger shirt,” he explained simply. “You’re a skinny fucker, Mikey.”

I nodded with a weak smile and almost a laugh. I had just about accepted that this was real and that alone was enough to bring a smile of relief to my lips.

“You okay?”

It was possibly a stupid question. How could I be? And yet, somehow, I was. Gerard had worked his magic on me again. I nodded with a smile.

“Okay, lets go,” he nodded in the direction of the door and we walked at a fairly brisk pace towards the library.

*

It took less than a minute to get there, but my mind was swirling with questions all the way. Most of all, I wanted to know how they found me. It seemed a strange place for them to be in the early hours. That said – I was. When we arrived, Ray, Bob and Frank were already sitting waiting. I stopped sharply as I noticed that they were in the same positions as they had been in my dream. I took a deep steadying breath. Just as I had a favourite place to sit, so did they and I knew that that’s why I had dreamt it. I felt so stupid.

“Mikey?” Frank began. “Why did you… I mean, were you trying to…”
“No,” I interrupted him. “I really don’t remember anything. I think that’s scarier than anything. But I’ve come to expect nothing else from this place.”

Gerard pulled his lips taut and thin.

“Mikes, you… There’s nothing here…”
“If you’re going to tell me there’s no such thing as ghosts then you can stop now! You can’t deny it! We’ve both seen…”
“That wasn’t here!” Gerard interrupted me. “And it’s not the same thing.”
“I didn’t say it was the same,” I spoke calmly as the others watched. I wondered how many, if any of them, guessed what we were referring to. But I had to put that from my mind. “Gee, there’s something here, I’ve felt it. I’ve almost seen it… I want to say her, but I’m not sure.”
“Mikey,” Gerard sighed. “It isn’t real. What you’re feeling… you’re upset, depressed…”
“You’re telling me that I’m going crazy!”
“No! I’m not saying that!” he snapped back at me. “You’re twisting my words!”
“Either there are ghosts or I’m going crazy! Which is it, Gerard?”
“There are ghosts.”

I hadn’t expected that and immediately all eyes fell on Bob.

“Bob?” Gerard’s voice grew increasingly higher pitched. “Don’t encourage this! He’s upset enough as it is!”

I watched, intrigued as Bob looked away from the all our searching eyes. He clearly felt uncomfortable by the statement and somehow I knew by his actions and expression that he meant what he said. Not only that, but he was speaking from experience.

“I’m not, Gee,” he replied standing up and, with his back to us, almost in a gesture of embarrassment, he gazed up and down the dozen of shelves full of books. He stared with eyes that, I knew, didn’t see anything in front of him. The distant stare took his mind back to a memory he clearly didn’t feel comfortable with.

“You’ve seen something?” Frank asked, uncertain if the drummer wanted to elaborate.
“This last week, every day, I’ve woken to find my bath full to the brim with ice cold water.”
“You’ve… your bath?” Frank repeated.

I was waiting. Any moment now, someone was going to laugh and tell him it was a prank, but no one did. I grew cold at the idea.

“Yeah,” he nodded. “At first, I thought it was one of you guys and I pretended to be asleep waiting to catch you. But then I heard it start to fill and no one was near it.”
“It’s just bad plumbing, Bob, that’s all.” Gerard tried to convince him. “It’s an old house.”
“Yeah,” he nodded as he turned back to face us. “That’s why I switched the water off one night. No water was coming out, but it still filled. And it’s icy cold, nothing like the water that actually comes out of the faucets.”
“I told you,” I mumbled barely audibly.
“Well, what do you see, Mikey?” Ray asked.

Ray’s a smart guy. Rather than tell me to ignore it, he asks me what I see so he can try to think of a plausible explanation. But the bath story has already shaken us.

“I don’t, I kind of almost see. Everywhere I go, all the time, I’m being watched, followed. And she’s sad, unbearably sad.”
“She?” Ray prompted me.
“That’s all I know and if I’m honest, it’s just a feeling, but it smothers me until I’m just as sad and I feel like it’s crushing me.”

The room was silent as they took in my words. I still couldn’t believe I’d actually spoken them out loud. Perhaps I was encouraged by Bob’s admission or maybe just that it was the first time they had actually asked me? I don’t know but it made sense to me to speak out, to actually admit what I was feeling, fearing.

“Is that why you jumped into the pool?” Gerard asked. I could hear the uncertainty and fear in his voice. Was he afraid that I really was going crazy or just thinking about how close I had come to death?

“I don’t even remember doing that, Gee. That scares me more than anything.” I looked down before remembering my question. “How did you even know I was there?”
“I saw you,” Ray replied. I was playing, or trying to play, my guitar. I saw you walk past. I called, but you didn’t hear me. I don’t know why, but I felt worried and I followed you. I called Gee on my cell when I saw you heading for the pool.”
“There was something there, you know? By the pool,” I tried to explain but only managed to sound melodramatic.
“Mikey,” Gerard was rubbing his forehead.
“Look, Gee, I know you don’t believe me, but I’m not making this up!”
“I didn’t say you were.”
“No,” I frowned. “You think I’m crazy.”
“No,” he replied forcefully. “I think something is upsetting you.”
“Yeah! Right now, it’s you! You always told me I didn’t have to hide my fears. Why do I have to now, just because you don’t accept them?” I was far too angry to be reasoned with.
“It’s not like that!” he snapped.
“Well, what is it like?” I yelled back. “Why can’t you accept this?”
“Because if whatever is doing this is beyond our control, I can’t help you!”

I stared back at him for a few seconds before pulling him towards me. He was just as scared as I was, but for very different reasons. But now, we had admitted our fears and experiences and it was as if the floodgates had opened. From now on the situation moved downhill rapidly and took us all tumbling with it.