Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Backs Against Walls
When he'd finally composed himself, Ryan took a deep breath and left the bathroom to find Brendon, hoping to salvage what was left of their first night together.
“Ryan, honey, what took you so long? I was about to come check on you,” Brendon said, concerned, as Ryan stepped into the small living room. His boyfriend was looking up at him from where he sat on the sofa with his blue pajama-clad legs propped up on the coffee table in front of him, his chocolate eyes wide and expectant. Ryan looked at the floor as he played nervously with the hem of his t-shirt, thinking of an excuse. Another lie. “I've been so busy getting everything ready for you lately,” he finally explained, slowly raising his head to meet Brendon's gaze, “that I haven't really taken a... proper shower in a few days. I guess I was just enjoying it.”
Brendon accepted the excuse, laughing lightly. “I've been wondering what the smell was. I didn't want to have to say anything.”
Ryan's face broke into a relieved smile as he made his way to the couch. “You'll pay for that, you know...”
Brendon's full lips turned up in a skeptical smirk. “What-hey!”
They both laughed as Ryan sat down on Brendon's lap, stretching his legs out on top of Brendon's and leaning back as if he were in a lounge chair.
“Comfy,” Ryan sighed, ignoring Brendon's joking complaints. “I think I could sit like this all night.”
“Like hell, you could,” Brendon muttered, trying to sound angry. Ryan just laughed. “I can. I might. I think I'll just sleep here--”
He was cut off when Brendon's fingers dug into his sides, tickling his ribs and making him fall off his lap and onto the couch.
“Bren! S-stop, it t-tickles Brendon!” Ryan squealed, trying to get away from his laughing boyfriend.
“No, I think I might do this all night,” he mocked, rolling Ryan onto his back to get better access to his ticklish sides. He lifted one leg and placed it on the other side of Ryan's small waist, pinning him down with his body. “You need to learn not to mess with me, Ry,” he said in a fake stern voice, still attacking Ryan's sides with his fingertips. “Nobody messes with Brendon Urie, baby. Understand?”
Ryan squirmed underneath him, still trying to break free. “Y-yes, sir. Never again!”
“Good answer,” Brendon laughed, dropping his angry disposition and finally withdrawing his hands, only to move them up to Ryan's flushed cheeks. Then he placed a soft kiss to Ryan's now slightly damp forehead, instantly turning the atmosphere more romantic and sophisticated. “Everything you do is so good, Ry. Helping me when I was alone, letting me stay here with you. You are too good to me, thank you.”
Ryan's mouth was dry. The problem was, Ryan was anything but 'good', and he knew it. “Don't thank me, Bren. I do it because I care about you, because you're... well, you're everything to me now. I... I really...”
Love you. I really love you, Ryan screamed in his head. They hadn't used those words yet, so Ryan was nervous about being first. What if Brendon thought it was too soon...?
“Really...?” Brendon pressed, a waiting smile gracing his smooth mouth.
Ryan sighed, backing down. “I'm just really glad you're here, Bren. If anyone should be thanked, it's you. For being here with me. Thank you.”
Brendon's deep brown eyes smoldered as he leaned down to quickly kiss Ryan on the lips, tracing his thumb over Ryan's jaw line as he did. “Believe me,” he breathed out, “there is nowhere I would rather be. I love you, Ry.”
Ryan froze, not sure he heard right. “Y-you... what?”
Brendon seemed hesitant to reply. He lowered himself onto the sofa, moving so that he was next to Ryan rather than on to of him. His expression was suddenly unsure, and a blush was creeping up his smooth, cream-coloured face.
“I... I said I love you. Is that... okay?”
“O-okay?” Ryan countered, a smile now playing on his shocked face. “Of course it's okay, Bren! I love you, too. I love you so much.”
“R0really?” Brendon's face lit up again, like a match being struck. Ryan's heart rate picked up from just looking at him.
“Really. I wanted to tell you, but I didn't think you would-”
He was cut off by Brendon's gentle mouth on his, capturing him n the most passionate kiss he had ever experienced. Too quickly, thought, the slow kiss heated up. Ryan, claiming dominance with his sudden rush of energy, climbed up on top of Brendon, straddling his hips like Brendon had done to him before. He felt Brendon's strong hands come up behind his neck and twist in his hair, pulling him closer. Ryan, with his arms bent and braced on either side of Brendon's head, let his tongue leave his mouth and gently slip between Brendon's slightly parted lips. Brendon got the hind, and opened up more for Ryan, a soft noise rising from his throat as Ryan's tongue massaged his.
Ryan was in a state of pure bliss by this point. Brendon's moan caused him to emit a single, low groan himself, and suddenly the kiss was all that mattered. This was all her ever wanted, all he worked for. He killed for this. It didn't matter that he messed up earlier. Brendon didn't know... and Brendon was happy. Brendon was in love with him. This was it...
“Ry?” Brendon suddenly gasped out against Ryan's lips. “Ryan, we...”
“Mh?” he replied, moving his mouth down to Brendon's soft, creamy neck so he could talk.
“M-maybe we should stop, love. It... it's our first night together. I don't think we should go too fast, you know?”
His words did not match the small gasps he was letting out, or the little growing bump Ryan could feel pressed against his thigh, but he made himself stop anyways. It was true, they hadn't been together for very long. And after all, they had plenty of time together. Forever, if everything went as planned. There would be other nights.
“Yeah,” he panted softly, his chest expanding and deflating rapidly as he fell to Brendon's side. “Yeah, you're right. I-I love you, Bren.”
Brendon smiled, glad Ryan understood. “As I love you, Ryan. Now, we should get some sleep. Lots of unpacking to do tomorrow!”
“I could look at this for hours,” Brendon sighed, taking a step back to admire the majority of their morning's work. They were standing in the doorway of Ryan's closet, which had been divided into two sections: one for Ryan and one for Brendon.
Ryan smiled at the sight, wrapping an arm around Brendon's waist. He liked the way his and Brendon's belongings looked hanging side by side. In a weird way, it kind of made them 'official'.
“I know what you mean,” he laughed. “But I'm starved! We've been working all morning. I think we've earned ourselves some lunch, don't you?”
“Mh, I suppose. But afterwards we're coming back here, to look at our amazing closet some more!”
Ryan chuckled. “Deal. Go get cleaned up and I'll take you somewhere nice, okay?”
“Thanks, Ry,” he replied, pressing his nose into Ryan's neck and inhaling contently. Brendon knew that there wasn't a better human being anywhere. Ryan was simply perfect, in every way. Everything he did, everything he said made Brendon's heart swell like it never had before. “I love you.”
“And I love you,” Ryan muttered, touching his lips quickly to Brendon's silky hair. “I love, love, love you. I love saying it. I love hearing it. I love loving you. I love our closet and our dishes and our house. I love--”
“Lunch?” Brendon finished playfully, and a loud grumble from Ryan's stomach interrupted him.
Ryan laughed again, placing one more chaste kiss on Brendon's mouth before letting him go. “Yes, I love lunch.”
“I won't take long, then,” Brendon replied, grabbing a clean shirt from Ryan's side of the closet and heading to the bathroom with it, laughing.
While Ryan walked aimlessly around his house, looking for something to occupy his time while Brendon showered and changed clothes, he heard his cell phone ring from his pocket. Pulling it out, he immediately recognized the caller. More lies.
“Hey, Spencer.” He walked to his bedroom door and poked his head in, making sure he could still here the water running from the connected bathroom. Satisfied, Ryan went into the living room and took a seat on his couch.
“Hey, Ry. What's going on?”
“Not a lot. Waiting for Brendon to get out of the bathroom so we can go get some lunch--”
“Brendon's out of the hospital?” Spencer yelled, excited. Ryan chose his answer carefully.
“Yeah,” he started. “He got out yesterday. We've been unpacking all day, you know.”
“Is he... how is he doing?”
Ryan heaved a (fake) sigh into the phone. “Seems to be fine, but he still won't really talk about it. The doctors said not to press him, that he'll talk in his own time, if he wants to. So I haven't tried to bring up the murder.”
He could here the sadness in his friend's silence. “Wow. I still can't believe this. He won't even talk to you? I mean, he tells you everything!”
“I know, I know. Well, he's said a little about it. Just that he wants to put it behind him and all, he wants to move on.”
“Wouldn't we all?” Spencer exhaled loudly, making Ryan flinch. The water turned off in the bathroom. The conversation really needed to wrap up. “I just hope they find the bastard that killed Savannah, you know? For Brendon's sake, I hope he gets what he deserves.”
“Y-yeah. Me too,” Ryan muttered into the receiver. “But anyways...” he tried to change the subject quickly, “what'd you need?”
“Oh, I was calling to see if you wanted to get together soon. Jam a little. It's been forever and a day since we've played, man.”
It was true, the band was pretty much dormant by then. They'd been right on the verge of getting signed when the 'accident' happened, playing local shows and self-recording the few songs they had written. Ryan couldn't allow them to start playing again, though. Brendon was their keyboardist, and as far as Ryan knew, had no recollection of how to play. Because that bitch taught him when they met...
“Er... I don't know, Bren is still kinda... well, you know. Now I just want to get him settled in here, I want him to be able to relax for a while.”
“Yeah, I guess. Well when you're ready, me and Jon are still here!” Ryan smiled. They were good friends. “Do you think Bren would be up to meeting for lunch or something? I'm totally free today.”
Ryan threw an anxious glance at the bedroom door, where he heard Brendon moving around. He knew he couldn't keep Brendon away from his best friends forever. He lowered his voice. “M-maybe. I guess. Just so long as you're careful, okay? No talking about... her.”
“Got it,” Spencer said happily. “Meet me in... an hour? Anywhere's fine.”
“Great,” Ryan said, only half meaning it. “Is pizza okay? At that place across from the music store on Main Street?”
“Yeah. God, I can't wait to see him out of the hospital! Later, Ry.”
“He'll love to see you too. Bye.” Breathing out a sigh of relief, he hung up.
“I'll love to see who?”
Ryan jumped up, startled. Brendon was coming out of the bedroom, pulling on Ryan's t-shirt. His hair was dripping and his cheeks were flushed from the heat of the shower.
“Spencer. He's meeting us for lunch, is that okay?”
“Excellent! I feel like it's been ages since I've seen him.”
And with that, they left hand in hand. Ryan was, to say the very least, a complete nervous wreck. What if Spencer slipped? With that thought he gripped Brendon's hand even tighter in his, squeezing until his knuckles turned white.
sophomore year is OVER as of this morning at 10:30! that means more UPDATES and more SLEEPING and less SENORA DELGADO the butt raping spanish 3 teacher. ME GUSTA MI VIDA.
“Ryan, honey, what took you so long? I was about to come check on you,” Brendon said, concerned, as Ryan stepped into the small living room. His boyfriend was looking up at him from where he sat on the sofa with his blue pajama-clad legs propped up on the coffee table in front of him, his chocolate eyes wide and expectant. Ryan looked at the floor as he played nervously with the hem of his t-shirt, thinking of an excuse. Another lie. “I've been so busy getting everything ready for you lately,” he finally explained, slowly raising his head to meet Brendon's gaze, “that I haven't really taken a... proper shower in a few days. I guess I was just enjoying it.”
Brendon accepted the excuse, laughing lightly. “I've been wondering what the smell was. I didn't want to have to say anything.”
Ryan's face broke into a relieved smile as he made his way to the couch. “You'll pay for that, you know...”
Brendon's full lips turned up in a skeptical smirk. “What-hey!”
They both laughed as Ryan sat down on Brendon's lap, stretching his legs out on top of Brendon's and leaning back as if he were in a lounge chair.
“Comfy,” Ryan sighed, ignoring Brendon's joking complaints. “I think I could sit like this all night.”
“Like hell, you could,” Brendon muttered, trying to sound angry. Ryan just laughed. “I can. I might. I think I'll just sleep here--”
He was cut off when Brendon's fingers dug into his sides, tickling his ribs and making him fall off his lap and onto the couch.
“Bren! S-stop, it t-tickles Brendon!” Ryan squealed, trying to get away from his laughing boyfriend.
“No, I think I might do this all night,” he mocked, rolling Ryan onto his back to get better access to his ticklish sides. He lifted one leg and placed it on the other side of Ryan's small waist, pinning him down with his body. “You need to learn not to mess with me, Ry,” he said in a fake stern voice, still attacking Ryan's sides with his fingertips. “Nobody messes with Brendon Urie, baby. Understand?”
Ryan squirmed underneath him, still trying to break free. “Y-yes, sir. Never again!”
“Good answer,” Brendon laughed, dropping his angry disposition and finally withdrawing his hands, only to move them up to Ryan's flushed cheeks. Then he placed a soft kiss to Ryan's now slightly damp forehead, instantly turning the atmosphere more romantic and sophisticated. “Everything you do is so good, Ry. Helping me when I was alone, letting me stay here with you. You are too good to me, thank you.”
Ryan's mouth was dry. The problem was, Ryan was anything but 'good', and he knew it. “Don't thank me, Bren. I do it because I care about you, because you're... well, you're everything to me now. I... I really...”
Love you. I really love you, Ryan screamed in his head. They hadn't used those words yet, so Ryan was nervous about being first. What if Brendon thought it was too soon...?
“Really...?” Brendon pressed, a waiting smile gracing his smooth mouth.
Ryan sighed, backing down. “I'm just really glad you're here, Bren. If anyone should be thanked, it's you. For being here with me. Thank you.”
Brendon's deep brown eyes smoldered as he leaned down to quickly kiss Ryan on the lips, tracing his thumb over Ryan's jaw line as he did. “Believe me,” he breathed out, “there is nowhere I would rather be. I love you, Ry.”
Ryan froze, not sure he heard right. “Y-you... what?”
Brendon seemed hesitant to reply. He lowered himself onto the sofa, moving so that he was next to Ryan rather than on to of him. His expression was suddenly unsure, and a blush was creeping up his smooth, cream-coloured face.
“I... I said I love you. Is that... okay?”
“O-okay?” Ryan countered, a smile now playing on his shocked face. “Of course it's okay, Bren! I love you, too. I love you so much.”
“R0really?” Brendon's face lit up again, like a match being struck. Ryan's heart rate picked up from just looking at him.
“Really. I wanted to tell you, but I didn't think you would-”
He was cut off by Brendon's gentle mouth on his, capturing him n the most passionate kiss he had ever experienced. Too quickly, thought, the slow kiss heated up. Ryan, claiming dominance with his sudden rush of energy, climbed up on top of Brendon, straddling his hips like Brendon had done to him before. He felt Brendon's strong hands come up behind his neck and twist in his hair, pulling him closer. Ryan, with his arms bent and braced on either side of Brendon's head, let his tongue leave his mouth and gently slip between Brendon's slightly parted lips. Brendon got the hind, and opened up more for Ryan, a soft noise rising from his throat as Ryan's tongue massaged his.
Ryan was in a state of pure bliss by this point. Brendon's moan caused him to emit a single, low groan himself, and suddenly the kiss was all that mattered. This was all her ever wanted, all he worked for. He killed for this. It didn't matter that he messed up earlier. Brendon didn't know... and Brendon was happy. Brendon was in love with him. This was it...
“Ry?” Brendon suddenly gasped out against Ryan's lips. “Ryan, we...”
“Mh?” he replied, moving his mouth down to Brendon's soft, creamy neck so he could talk.
“M-maybe we should stop, love. It... it's our first night together. I don't think we should go too fast, you know?”
His words did not match the small gasps he was letting out, or the little growing bump Ryan could feel pressed against his thigh, but he made himself stop anyways. It was true, they hadn't been together for very long. And after all, they had plenty of time together. Forever, if everything went as planned. There would be other nights.
“Yeah,” he panted softly, his chest expanding and deflating rapidly as he fell to Brendon's side. “Yeah, you're right. I-I love you, Bren.”
Brendon smiled, glad Ryan understood. “As I love you, Ryan. Now, we should get some sleep. Lots of unpacking to do tomorrow!”
“I could look at this for hours,” Brendon sighed, taking a step back to admire the majority of their morning's work. They were standing in the doorway of Ryan's closet, which had been divided into two sections: one for Ryan and one for Brendon.
Ryan smiled at the sight, wrapping an arm around Brendon's waist. He liked the way his and Brendon's belongings looked hanging side by side. In a weird way, it kind of made them 'official'.
“I know what you mean,” he laughed. “But I'm starved! We've been working all morning. I think we've earned ourselves some lunch, don't you?”
“Mh, I suppose. But afterwards we're coming back here, to look at our amazing closet some more!”
Ryan chuckled. “Deal. Go get cleaned up and I'll take you somewhere nice, okay?”
“Thanks, Ry,” he replied, pressing his nose into Ryan's neck and inhaling contently. Brendon knew that there wasn't a better human being anywhere. Ryan was simply perfect, in every way. Everything he did, everything he said made Brendon's heart swell like it never had before. “I love you.”
“And I love you,” Ryan muttered, touching his lips quickly to Brendon's silky hair. “I love, love, love you. I love saying it. I love hearing it. I love loving you. I love our closet and our dishes and our house. I love--”
“Lunch?” Brendon finished playfully, and a loud grumble from Ryan's stomach interrupted him.
Ryan laughed again, placing one more chaste kiss on Brendon's mouth before letting him go. “Yes, I love lunch.”
“I won't take long, then,” Brendon replied, grabbing a clean shirt from Ryan's side of the closet and heading to the bathroom with it, laughing.
While Ryan walked aimlessly around his house, looking for something to occupy his time while Brendon showered and changed clothes, he heard his cell phone ring from his pocket. Pulling it out, he immediately recognized the caller. More lies.
“Hey, Spencer.” He walked to his bedroom door and poked his head in, making sure he could still here the water running from the connected bathroom. Satisfied, Ryan went into the living room and took a seat on his couch.
“Hey, Ry. What's going on?”
“Not a lot. Waiting for Brendon to get out of the bathroom so we can go get some lunch--”
“Brendon's out of the hospital?” Spencer yelled, excited. Ryan chose his answer carefully.
“Yeah,” he started. “He got out yesterday. We've been unpacking all day, you know.”
“Is he... how is he doing?”
Ryan heaved a (fake) sigh into the phone. “Seems to be fine, but he still won't really talk about it. The doctors said not to press him, that he'll talk in his own time, if he wants to. So I haven't tried to bring up the murder.”
He could here the sadness in his friend's silence. “Wow. I still can't believe this. He won't even talk to you? I mean, he tells you everything!”
“I know, I know. Well, he's said a little about it. Just that he wants to put it behind him and all, he wants to move on.”
“Wouldn't we all?” Spencer exhaled loudly, making Ryan flinch. The water turned off in the bathroom. The conversation really needed to wrap up. “I just hope they find the bastard that killed Savannah, you know? For Brendon's sake, I hope he gets what he deserves.”
“Y-yeah. Me too,” Ryan muttered into the receiver. “But anyways...” he tried to change the subject quickly, “what'd you need?”
“Oh, I was calling to see if you wanted to get together soon. Jam a little. It's been forever and a day since we've played, man.”
It was true, the band was pretty much dormant by then. They'd been right on the verge of getting signed when the 'accident' happened, playing local shows and self-recording the few songs they had written. Ryan couldn't allow them to start playing again, though. Brendon was their keyboardist, and as far as Ryan knew, had no recollection of how to play. Because that bitch taught him when they met...
“Er... I don't know, Bren is still kinda... well, you know. Now I just want to get him settled in here, I want him to be able to relax for a while.”
“Yeah, I guess. Well when you're ready, me and Jon are still here!” Ryan smiled. They were good friends. “Do you think Bren would be up to meeting for lunch or something? I'm totally free today.”
Ryan threw an anxious glance at the bedroom door, where he heard Brendon moving around. He knew he couldn't keep Brendon away from his best friends forever. He lowered his voice. “M-maybe. I guess. Just so long as you're careful, okay? No talking about... her.”
“Got it,” Spencer said happily. “Meet me in... an hour? Anywhere's fine.”
“Great,” Ryan said, only half meaning it. “Is pizza okay? At that place across from the music store on Main Street?”
“Yeah. God, I can't wait to see him out of the hospital! Later, Ry.”
“He'll love to see you too. Bye.” Breathing out a sigh of relief, he hung up.
“I'll love to see who?”
Ryan jumped up, startled. Brendon was coming out of the bedroom, pulling on Ryan's t-shirt. His hair was dripping and his cheeks were flushed from the heat of the shower.
“Spencer. He's meeting us for lunch, is that okay?”
“Excellent! I feel like it's been ages since I've seen him.”
And with that, they left hand in hand. Ryan was, to say the very least, a complete nervous wreck. What if Spencer slipped? With that thought he gripped Brendon's hand even tighter in his, squeezing until his knuckles turned white.
sophomore year is OVER as of this morning at 10:30! that means more UPDATES and more SLEEPING and less SENORA DELGADO the butt raping spanish 3 teacher. ME GUSTA MI VIDA.
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