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FRANK'S POINT OF VIEW

"I'm pregnant," I cried.

"What the hell?" Gee-dee-bee-hee-shee asked

"Is it mine?" Gerard Bernard Fucktard Lard asked.

"Well who's else you shit bird?"

"I'm a virging."

"So you're a woman?" Gerard asked.

"Yeah, but don't tell my mom."

"So you cheated on me?" He asked.

I got raped.

- FLASHBACK! -

I was walking home and then a guy pulled up and raped me.

- END OF FLASHBACK! -

I wish I could tell him, but if I did then I'd get sent away cause that makes sense...?

"Me too," Bob said.

I walked into the house, my mom was there drunk cause mom's apparently get drunk and beat there kids up?

"Where were you you little slut?"

"I'm pregnant."

"YOU FUCKING TURD BURGLAR!" She screamed.

"If you change your mind, I'm the first in line, take a chance on me," I sang.

"Shit the fuck up you bitch pig!" She screamed throwing a beer bottle at me. I decided to PHON Gerard.

"The hell you want?" He asked.

"Shut the fuck up, you don't know what it's like or understand anything about the ghetto, you fuck sheep!" I said.

"You're an ass goat!" Gerard said.

"Shitbird!" I said.

"Slut cow!" Gerard said.

"Dick!"

"Fucktard!"

"Douchebag!" I said.

"Hoe!"

"Skank!"

"Dumbfuck!" Gerard said.

"Fat ass!"

"Cloudy!"

"Shit face!" I called.

"Bitch tit!" Gerard said.

"Meryl Streep!"

"Fece face!"

"Prick!"

"Asshole!" Gerard said.

"Heidi!"

"WOAH!" Gerard stopped this parade of name calling. "Don't EVER call me that again!"

"So who's the father?" Gerard asked.

"My... r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-RAPIST!" I screamed.

"What was his name?"

"Patrick Stump."

Me and Patrick had the baby 9 months later and we named it Patrank after Frank and Patrick.

Occasionally I'd get a booty call from Gerard and Patrank would join us in some freaky three way.

"Oh, yes, you fucking pregnant ass-shit-bag!" Gerard moaned as I...

gave him...

a...

pat on the shoulder, as he said no comment when I gave him a blow job.

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GOT NIP?!