FicWad

Author's Notes: I was originally toying with the idea that demons might have a different definition of what is considered moral - or what is considered sexual at all - than us humans. You'll probably still want to kill me anyway. (Yukina is also slightly insane in this fic, so even if the incest doesn't bother you, you still might be disturbed.)

Oh, and I know the tense is screwed up. Normally I would welcome constructive criticism pointing that out, but I already know.

Warnings: Incest. It's extremely light and not even remotely sexual, though. If you flame me screeching about this, I'll politely ask you if you temporarily lost your sight upon reading this warning.




Tainted Delusion

It is said that we cannot control our dreams. No matter our determination to keep certain thoughts at bay, at night we slip into the prison of our own subconscious. Our darkest desires and fantasies are played out before us, completely out of our own control.

If you were to ask anyone who had known her, they would have told you that the tiny girl called Yukina was the gentlest being in the three realms. Indeed, the level of purity she appeared to achieve was unheard of for a /human/, much less an ice demon. Malice, spite, hatred...none of these lurked in her. It was almost eerie how perfect she was - like she wasn't a living, breathing, bleeding creature, but some kind of ethereal entity.

Yukina herself knew that she was only a saint to the naked eye. Inside her was a darkness that made her dread her soft futon and the ghostly lure of sleep.

For in dreams, the desires that we have buried within ourselves rise on strings before our helpless mind.

She often dreamed of /him/. Her reason for living. The one thing that kept her upright and gave hope to her cracked heart.

He was always hidden in the shadows at first. He talked to her in a voice she could only hear in her head - a voice that she could not describe.

Why do you look for me?

You're all I have left.

What if you never find me?

I'll die trying.

What will you do with your life if you do find me?

I...I don't know.

What if I don't want you to find me?

That can't be true.

She would be close to tears, confused and uncertain of the goals she had nailed to herself. This newfound doubt that always came with these visions frightened her.

But he always emerged from the darkness, his cloak as black as the abyss around him, his expression that of nothing. Every time, it was /him/.

Hiei-san.

She would back away, wondering why. Why him? He who was cold to others and always so kind to /her/. Was her heart giving her these dreams based on her own inner longing?

Why is it you?

He would then walk towards her until he stood directly in front of her, his face still emotionless.

You shouldn't dwell on dreams, Yukina.

That always made her want to scream. She hated feeling blind, feeling deluded and naïve to the point of madness. She wasn't blind. Everyone thought she was attached to false hope, a child obsessed with her own faerie tale. She wasn't, /she wasn't/.

She would reach up and kiss him then, like she had always wanted to do to her brother, but maybe never would.

After a few moments, he would gently push her away. She sometimes thought that she could see a sad look in his eyes, but it was impossible to be sure.

When you start to live again, maybe we can meet.

He would walk away, his steps light and echoing in the silence.

She always awoke then, her eyes slowly fluttering open. She stared into nothing, wondering when she would be able to stop pretending.

She never cried.



Closing Notes: Oh god, I'm sorry Yukina, I'm sorry fandom, I'm sorry world. I should go back to the fluff. The fluff is nice. Yes, precioussss.

Review if you wish, but flames will be laughed at, no matter how hurtful they try to be. No, really. I have no soul.