FicWad

“GERARD,” a female voice boomed, everyone looked up and at each other. If she could be heard from upstairs with the door shut, she must be pissed.

“Shit,” Gerard mumbled. “I’ll be right back,” with that he walked out of his bedroom, shutting the door behind him. “Hey, babe,” he said to his girlfriend of three months.

“Why? Why the fuck would you do that?” she yelled.

“Uh, what are you talking about?” he asked, knowing what he had done.

“Fuck you, Gerard! I fucking hate you! I lost my job because of you!” Katie said.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t recognize him! I didn’t realize he was your boss. My bad,” Gerard apologized. “I am so, so, so, sorry. It was a mistake. I will never do it again. I’ll tell him, I don’t know, I’ll get you your job back, baby.”

“Fuck you. I don’t want your fucking help. I’m leaving. By the way, I hate your band. Your music is loud and annoying, frank’s screaming makes me want to stab myself, and your singing makes me want to start cutting again. Nothing you can say can stop me.”

“So, you’re just going to go? You’ll be alone?”

“I am not afraid to be alone. I’m not afraid to keep on living without you. Don’t ever call me again. MCR is never going to make it. You’re just five outcast pieces of shit trying to make music that no one is going to like. No one’s going to go for the underdogs,” Katie said.

“Get the fuck out bitch. Get the hell out of my house,” Gerard growled.

“I need to get some stuff first,” Katie said brushing past him. As she walked past Gerard’s room she scowled at the band.

As soon as she was gone, Gerard collapsed on the couch and started crying. At that moment Frank rushed in and sat next to him.

“It’s OK Gee. You’ll be okay. I’m here for you. I’ll always be here for you. You don’t need her,” he said trying to comfort his friend. For hours they just sat there, drifting into sleep in each other’s arms, Frank continuously whispering words of comfort in Gerard’s ear until Frank fell asleep.


“God, I look like shit!” Gerard complained the next morning.

“You look fine, Gee,” his brother Mikey said. “Are you okay?”

“No, but I will be. Maybe after I take a shower,” he said solemnly. “Out!”

“I’m goin’!” Mikey exclaimed as he was ushered out of the bathroom.

Gerard turned on the shower, took off his robe and stepped in. As the hot water beat down on his back, he was hit by overwhelming sadness. He had been thinking about her all morning. He sat down in the tub, pulled his knees to his chest with his crossed arms resting on them and began to cry. He buried his head in his arms and sobbed, sitting there in the shower. Eventually he stopped and stoop up, washing his hair and what not. He got out, wrapped himself in a towel and went to his room.

After getting dressed he walked out and almost tripped over Frank who had sat down next to Gerard’s door. “Frank, what the hell? Get up!” he said laughing.

“It’s going to be okay, Gerard. Kay?” Frank said standing up. Gerard just looked at him. Frank gave him that look that says “You know what I’m talking about, don’t play dumb.”

“Okay,” Gerard said awkwardly. He walked into the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee. He took a sip and yelled to Mikey, “Holy shit Mikes! Think you got it strong enough?!”

“Mmm,” Mikey moaned, drinking some of his coffee, “not quite. I’ll do better next time.”

“You’re trying to give me heart failure aren’t you? I’m onto you, Son,” Gee joked.

“Gasp! You mean YOU’RE my dad?!?! Isn’t that like illegal?” Mike pondered.

“What?”

“Fucking your mom?”

“No…” Gerard said hesitantly. He actually wasn’t completely sure.

“Mikey! I love you, kid! Good call on that Geoff bet! I just won $100 thanks to your brother, Gerard,” Bob gloated. “Have I mentioned I love you Mike?”

“Yes, what now you’re my dad too? ‘ Kid’, ‘son;’ what the hell?” he said with a look of disgust as Bob kissed him on the forehead. “Go away please. Personal space is something I hold very dear to me. You’re invading it; back off. Now? Thank you.”

“Sorry! No, actually, I’m your mom. Sorry to break it to you. One night Gerard and I just got a little primordial and…” he stopped when Mikey gave him a dirtier look than Bob thought was possibly. He seemed too innocent to look at someone that way. “Gerard that sucks about Katie but c’mon, get over her. She hated us; she didn’t believe you could make it as the singer of My Chemical Romance. She had no faith in you, meaning she had no faith in your love,” Bob said after taking a seat at the table with them. It didn’t completely make sense, but he didn’t care.

“Yeah, well, she didn’t love me, and I loved her. I guess I’m just a masochist. I could tell all along she wasn’t completely happy or in love, and it hurt, but I wanted to stay with her. It’s my fault. I let myself get attached knowing it wouldn’t last. I’m stupid. I’m a fucking idiot. I’m going to my room; DON’T come in, no matter what.”

“Okay,” everyone said at once; Ray was silently sitting on the counter. They all knew he was going to write. When Gerard writes, you don’t want to interrupt him, unless he asks for your help.

Gerard went into his room, shut the door and blasted I Miss You by Blink 182. Halfway through the song he put in Bullet For My Valentine. When Frank’s favorite song, Tears don’t Fall, came on he went and sat outside Gerard’s door listening to the music. He fell asleep during Waking the Demon and everyone left him there and went to bed. Gerard, walked out of his room, saw Frank, and went to watch a movie by himself.

Frank woke up and wondered into Gerard’s room. He found Gee’s unfinished lyrics sitting on his bed. He read the chorus out loud, “’I am not afraid to keep on living, I am not afraid to walk this world alone, honey if you stay I’ll be forgiven, nothing you can say can stop me going.’” He knew they were about Katie. The song was called “Famous Last Words”

He walked into the living room, sat next to Gerard and put his arms around him.

“Frank?” Gerard said softly.

“Yeah Gee?” Frank responded resting his head on Gerard’s shoulder.

“I know she was a bitch and didn’t believe in us, but I miss her,” he said solemnly.

“I know you do, but I’m here for you. Listen, I found your lyrics, they’re really good. I like the chorus.”

“That what she said while she was leaving,” Gerard sighed. “OK, let’s just watch this movie and not talk about Katie. I hate her. I’m trying to forget that dumb bitch.”

Frank laughed. “That’s the spirit, babe!” Frank’s eyes got wide. “Er, um, buddy. I, uh, it just, um… popcorn?”

“Sure…” Gerard said stunned. Frank jumped up and ran into the kitchen. Once the popcorn was in the microwave, he slid down the refrigerator and held his head in his hands.

“I can’t believe I just said that,” he mumbled to himself. “I’m such a fucking idiot.” The microwave beeped, startling him. “Shit!” he shouted when he realized the popcorn was burning.

“Fuck, Frank! What’s that smell?” Gerard inquired from the living room. Five seconds later, he was in the kitchen surrounded by smoke. “You burned it?” he asked holding his nose.

“Yeah,” Frank sighed. He tried to wave the smoke away from his face.

“I’ll open some windows,” Gerard said uncomfortably.

“Good idea. I’m gonna go outside and have a smoke while this smoke clears out. Uh do you, um, yeah I’m going outside now,” he stuttered.

“Yeah, OK. See you in a few minutes.”

“Yeah.” Frank walked out the door and sat down on the porch. He called Ray. No answer. He called Bob; no answer. Finally, he tried Mikey and he answered. “Mikey! Are you coming home soon?”

“Uh… not really. I’m with Alicia. She’s in the bathroom right now,” Mikey hesitated.

“Where are you?” Frank asked.

“Her house. She’s uh, getting changed. Into something more comfortable, if you know what I mean,” Mikey whispered.

“Oh! Sorry Mikes. Have fun, Bye,” Frank said.

“Oh, I will. Later.”

Frank closed his phone and lit a cigarette. Gerard walked outside.

“Smokes pretty much cleared out of the living room, when you’re ready to come in,” he said quietly.

“OK, I should be done soon,” Frank replied even softer.

“OK, so I just watched part of this movie. Basically, it sucks. Wanna go hang out somewhere?” Gerard said coming back outside scaring the chit out of Frank.

“Jeez! Yeah, I guess,” Frank said unsurely. He wasn’t exactly comfortable around his friend right now. The entire car ride was silent until they realized they had no destination in mind. Gerard told Frank he had a surprise for him, and of course, Frank loves surprises so he cheered up a little. He got even happier when he realized where they were going. One of Frank’s favorite hang outs when he was in high school; the cemetery. “Oh man! I used to come here all the time in high school and just walk through in the middle of the night. People thought it was creepy, but it was so peaceful. Like, you’re walking through a field of people, a lot of whom were miserable their last years, some even their entire life, and no they’re here, out of pain, the misery is gone. Their souls are peaceful now. When you’re walking through here it’s like the peace absorbs you. I love it.”

“I’ve recently started doing it. You’re right, it’s nice and peaceful. Especially at night. I really love coming here,” Gerard said walking through the gates. Frank walked through, too, shutting the gate behind him.

Gerard took Frank’s hand making Frank nervous. “About earlier: it’s cool, man. Don’t sweat it, okay? It just slipped. I’ve thought about you that way, too. Right now, though, I’m just not ready for a relationship.”

“Yeah, I understand. C’mon, let’s get off the trail,” Frank said running from Gerard. Gerard took off after him. He wrapped his arm around him and they fell to the ground. They rolled onto their backs and started laughing.

Gerard started singing to Frankie as they laid there. Gerard walked into the mausoleum. A few minutes later he was back out holding a bottle of vodka.

“Vodka?” Frank asked wondering where he got it

“I told you I’ve started coming here often. I don’t drink a lot while I’m here alone, but I do drink.” He opened the bottle and took a drink. He offered it to Frank who took it.

“To being two single bisexual men!” Frank said. He quickly took a drink and passed it to Gerard.

“Cheers!” he shouted and took a drink. This went on for a while until they were both too drunk to walk straight, let alone drive home. “Can you drive us home?” Gerard asked.

“Hell no, man,” Frank laughed.

“Let’s just crash here then, baby,” he said putting his arm around Frank’s shoulder.

“Sounds good to me,” Frank said. He rested his head on Gerard’s chest and passed out.

The next morning Gerard woke Frank up and they drove home. Warning by Incubus was playing in the car.

“I love this song,” Frankie said. “It’s one of their best.”

“Yeah, it’s pretty awesome.”

“Uh, I, never mind.”

“What?” Gerard asked pulling out of the cemetery.

“Nothing, forget it,” Frank said.

“Fine.”

“Okay. I just, I’m r – kind of, I don’t know. I want t—look I know you’re just out and I don’t, I mean, it’s so… soon,” Frank stuttered endlessly. Gerard laughed. “Do you find this funny?”

“Yes. It’s hilarious that you’re just sitting there rambling about nothing,” Gerard explained.

“It’s not about nothing! It’s about you and me!” Frank defended.

“I’m not talking about that for a while, I told you that,” Gerard reminded him.

“Last night, though, you call—,” Frank was cut off by Gerard.

“I was drunk, Frank! I don’t mean anything when I’m drunk,” Gerard yelled pulling into their driveway. He got out and ran inside.
Once Gerard has been inside for a few minutes Frank ran as fast as he could through the house to his room. He sat on the bed and started crying. He really loved Gerard and he has just made him mad at him. He was pushing him into something he isn’t ready for, he knew that and he pushed him anyway. What if he stayed mad at him? Frank was incredible worried about what this could do to their friendship.

This stress, mixed with the crying and the hangover made Frank’s head hurt like crazy. He went into the bathroom and grabbed the Excedrin bottle. He then snuck into the kitchen, not wanted to talk to anyone and grabbed a beer from the fridge. He went back to his room. He took 5 of the pain killers and chugged the beer. It tasted gross to him, but he didn’t care, he wanted to sleep. He took some more and drank the last of his beer. He passed out almost immediately.

Mikey went into Frank’s room to tell him the pizza was here, but he was asleep. He figured he’d turn his radio off so it didn’t wake him up. When he got near his bed he noticed the pill bottle and empty bottle of beer. He tried to wake Frank, but it was useless. Remembering he had just taken something for his headache he counted the pills. He knew there were about ten after he took two, so he was freaked out when only 3 were left. He screamed for Ray and Bob, but no one answered. They had gone outside to smoke. He screamed some more as he tried to get Frank up.

“Come ON Frank! RAY! BOB! COME ON! GUYS!” Mikey screamed. He ran out of the room to find Ray and Bob. “RAY! BOB? HEY! WHERE ARE YOU?!” he shouted. He ran onto the porch screaming, “GUYS ARE YOU OUT HERE?” Ray and Bob looked up at him. Ray noticed his expression.

“Mikey? What’s wrong?” Ray asked.

“Frank! He’s, I don’t know, he won’t wake up!” Mikey cried.

“WHAT?” Bob screamed. The neighbors yelled for them to be quiet. “FUCK OFF,” he yelled back. “Now Mikey, what are you talking about?”

“He took seven painkillers and chugged a beer. He’s passed out!” Mikey explained, frantically pulling them inside.

“What?” Ray shouted. He broke away from Mikey and the three of them ran into Frank’s room. Gerard who had been hold up his room came out to see what was going on.

“What’s with all the screaming?” he asked looking for everyone.

“In here!” Mikey called. Gerard walked in.

“What are you doing?” he asked. “Is something wrong with Frank?” he yelled getting worried.

“Yes! He took seven or eight painkillers, downed a beer and passed out! We can’t get him up!” Mikey shouted again.

“What?” he asked softly, knowing this was his fault.

“Well, he has a pulse, but seven wouldn’t be enough to kill him anyway,
Ray said. “Let’s get him to a hospital. Bob, you get his feet, Gerard, can you hold his head? I’ll drive, Mikey, can you get him clothes for the morning, they’ll want to keep him overnight even if he wakes up.”

“Get me a change of clothes to Mikes, I’ll stay with him,” Gerard announced. “Hurry,” he ordered. He put his hands under Frank’s back and head. “Bob, come on!”

“Maybe we should all stay with him?” Ray suggested as Bob and Gerard lifted Frank from his bed.

“No, I need to talk to him when he wakes up. I’ll keep you posted, though,” Gerard said, backing out the door. “Ray, go get the door.”

“OK. Yeah, I guess that’d be okay. But call us as soon as anything happens. If his pulse slows down or he looks better, CALL,” Ray demanded as he opened the front door for them. He ran ahead and got the car door too. Mikey ran out the door carrying two pair of pants and two shirts. He ran and got in the car. Gerard sat in the back with Frank and Mikey. He held Frank and was running his fingers through his hair. Frank was lying in Gerard lap unconscious. He was so shocked by this. Everyone was; Frank was definitely not the type to try to kill himself. Gerard could think of no alternative motive though. No one could. Ray drove over the speed limit, but not enough to draw attention. He didn’t attempt to keep his driving legal, though. He sped, cut people off if they were going slow, even with a solid line. He ignored lights and stop signs as long as it looked safe.

When they got to the hospital Gerard carried Frank in alone. Once he was in a room Gerard sat by the bed holding his hand until the doctor came in. Mikey explained everything to the doctor, who had a sad and disappointed look on his face.

“Ah, I don’t get many suicide attempts around here. We’ll monitor his heart rate closely, keep him a day or two after he wakes up, and he’ll see our psychologist. Is someone going to stay here with him?” the doctor asked.

“Yes, I am,” Gerard stated, standing up.

“Good. It’ll be nice to have someone here to keep everyone updated, to see him when he wakes up. In cases like this it’s comforting for the patient to have someone familiar, someone close to them, near when they wake up,” the doctor told Gerard. “If you have any questions, ring the by his bed, and have a nurse fetch me. Any questions?”

“Not from me. Mikey?” he shook his head. “Guys?” he said looking at Ray and Bob. They sadly shook their heads. “We’re good.”

“I’ll talk with you later then…?” the doctor hesitated.

“Gerard,” Gerard said shaking the doctor’s hand.

“We’ll talk later Gerard. Goodnight, guys,” he said to the rest of the band. They nodded to him.


“Yeah. They said his weight, how skinny he is, and the fact that he doesn’t take them normally is what made them so strong. Normally, he said, it’d have a stronger and faster affect than Nyquil. He said with people like Frank, though, it’s stronger, and that Mikey was wrong, he took more pills than that. Either that or strong ones. He said the equivalency of about 15 pills. Plus the two beers made it last longer. He said it should be a few hours. I can’t believe this. It’s my fault,” Gerard explained to Ray over the phone.

“First, that makes sense. I didn’t think just 7 would do that, even given frank’s size. Second, I hope it’s soon. Last, how is it your fault?” Ray said into the receiver.

“I’ll tell you later. I need coffee,” Gerard said before hanging up. He stared at Frank for a few seconds and left the room.


“What’d he say?” Bob asked the second Ray hung up.

“Well, it was 15 pills, not seven. He should be awake in a few hours. Gerard is blaming himself. He said it’s his fault.”

“What does he mean by that?” Mikey asked.

“He didn’t tell me, he said he’d talk to me later then hung up,” Ray explained.

“What the hell?”

“I know, right?”

“I don’t know guys. I’ll tell you next time I talk to him,” Ray told them. He walked away from the table. Bob and Mikey joined him outside and they smoked in silence for a few minutes until Ray broke it. “Why would Frank do this? Why is Gerard blaming himself? I should go down there and force him to talk to me.”

“Bad idea Ray. I think they both need time to be alone together. Ha, ya know; just the two of them. Whatever Gerard did, he’s trying to rectify it, I think. I have an idea of what it is, but I can’t tell you until I know. No matter what it is, I trust Gerard completely, and you two should trust him, too,” Mikey said. He stood up and went to his room.


“Come one, Frank, get up. I miss you,” Gerard whispered more to himself then the still sleeping Frank. He looked at the clock. 4:17AM. He took his phone from his pocket.

“GERARD!” Mikey yelled. They’d been waiting for updates.

“Mikes, can you come stay here. I need to sleep and I can’t do it here. I just need to be alone.”

“No problem, Bro. I’ll be there soon.”

“Thank you.” Gerard looked back at Frank. He looked so peaceful, but at the same time, Gerard could see, or imagine, despair on his face. A while later he saw Mikey coming up the hall. “I love you Frankie, but don’t wake up until I get back, please. Please, Baby. Bye, I’ll be back in a few hours.”

“Hey Gee, how’s he looking?” Mikey said as he walked in.

“He’s, uh, he’s fine I guess. I’m going, bye,” he walked out not waiting for a goodbye from his brother. Mikey called down the hall and went to sit in Gerard’s chair. He sat there playing games on his phone and texting his girlfriend, Alicia, few a few hours waiting for Gerard to return.

Gerard, in the meantime, was sitting in his room listening to music. He laid on his bed listening to the Misfits, one of Frank’s favorite bands. Obviously, he had lied about sleeping, and Mikey knew that, but he did need to be alone. He called Mikey because he knew his little brother would understand better than either of his friends. He had told Ray and Bob to leave him the fuck alone. Mikey had also told them to leave Gerard alone when he got there. Of course, they didn’t listen. Gerard was hounded with questions until he reached his room, flipped them off and slammed his door shut. He locked it, too. Sitting on his bed, he thought about everything he said to Frank. He remember some of the things he told Frank while they were in the cemetery. He had called him baby, kissed him, put his arm around him, then the next morning told Frank he didn’t mean it. He pretty much crushed Frank’s hope. He couldn’t believe he said that. He had to talk to Frank. He jumped up from his bed and went out his window to avoid the guys. He ran to his car and jumped in. He drove to the hospital listening to music to drown out his thoughts. Gerard did that all the time. The less he thought the better. Even when he was writing, things just came to him. If he analyzed lyrics too much before they were finished, he would start to hate them. Finally he got to the hospital and ran inside, past the nurses’ station and up the stairs, skipping the slow moving elevator. He went into Frank’s room and told Mikey to leave.

“Gee?” Mikey said surprised to see him after only 3 hours.

“Out! Go home, fill the guys in. I’ll talk to you later, okay?” Gerard stated, more than asked. Mikey stood up, nodded and left. The doctor walked in as Mikey was walking out.

“Ah, Gerard, you’re back! Good, you seem close to frank than Mikey. I think it will be better if you’re the one to greet him,” the doctor said. He sounded sincerely happy Gerard was back. It wasn’t that fake demeanor doctors and nurses normally had.

“Yes, I am back. We are closer. We’re, or will be, um, close. Closer than we are. We’re best friends right now…” Gerard said trying to get his point across to the man.

“OK… oh! You’re together?” the doctor clarified.

“Will be; actually I think he’s here because I was kind of harsh to him about it, but him being in here made me realize I really do love him. Why isn’t he up yet?” Gerard changed the subject.

“I’m sorry, it must be terrible thinking you’re the reason for this. Well, it’s hard to say. For all I know he could be conscious and just sleeping normally. I actually need to check his blood. I’m going to use a needle…” he warned, remembering Gerard’s fear of needles from earlier.

“Thanks for the warning,” he mumbled as he walked out. A minute later the doctor called him back in. “Well?”

“He’s perfectly fine, he should be up any minute Mr. Way,” the doctor smiled.

“Thank you Sir. I’ll buzz you when he wakes up?”

“That would be greatly appreciated,” he said before leaving Gerard and Frank alone. Gerard called home but no one answered.

“Hey guys, the doc said he’d be up any minute. Don’t come down yet, though. I need to talk to him first,” was the message he left. He wondered where everyone was. He thought he saw Frank stir, but nothing else happened so he figured it was his imagination.

A few minutes later though, he heard, “Gerard?” and freaked out.

“Frank! Frank are you awake?” he said softly.

“Yeah, Gerard?” he asked again.

“I’m right here, man. I love you. I’m so sorry for what I said, I didn’t mean it, I was hung-over and grumpy and I’m so so sorry, Frankie!” he explained.

“I love you, too. You hurt me, Gerard. When you told me you didn’t mean that, I wanted to kill myself. I knew I couldn’t do that though. I knew things would work out. I just wanted to sleep; I didn’t mean to take so many. Don’t ever do that to me again,” Frank pleaded.

“You never do this to me again! You scared the fucking shit out of me! Out of all of us. We all love you Frank. You mean everything to us. We all mean the world to each other. If you ever even think of doing this again, I’ll beat you up. Do you understand, you little fucker?”

“Yes, I understand. You’re so harsh!” Frank joked.

“I just care about you and your well being and if that means harshly threatening you, so be it. Now, they want you to see a psychologist, okay? I’m not going to object because I—,”

“Care about me and my well being. It’ll be fine. Are you…” Frank finished his sentence and trailed off on his own.

“Going to see him too?” Gerard finished. He stood up and buzzed for the doctor. “I might, just for a little bit. Then I’m taking you home!”

“Thank God! I hate hospitals,” Frank whined.

“Me too, Babe,” Gerard smirked.

“You mean that this time?” Frank asked looking down.

Gerard put his hand under Frank’s chin. He lifted his head and turned it so he could him in the eye. “You bet your pretty little ass I do. I love you, man.”

Frank threw his arms around Gerard. “I love you, too,” he whispered in his ear. Gerard kissed Frank on the lips for the first time while they were sober. It was great. Fireworks, sparks, all the good shit. The doctor walked in right after they separated. Gerard still had his hand on Frank’s face.

“Frank! Good, you’re up,” the doctor said looking at his chart. “20 hours out. We were getting worried.”

“Yeah, I’m up. Wow, that long? Ha,” Frank said awkwardly with his head down. He was ashamed of what he had done. One of the nurses walked in. Another walked in.

“So much cuter awake!” One of them said.

“Oh, much hotter,” the other agreed. They smiled largely at Frank, who gave Gerard a weird look.

“The nurses couldn’t wait to see you awake. They think you’re hot,” he explained. Frank giggled and smiled at Gerard.

“Sorry ladies, I’m taken,” Frank grinned.

“Aw…” they waited till the doctor left the room, “damn. By who?” the first one asked.

“By… me,” Gerard said confidently.

“Oh, really?” the second asked.

The guys nodded. “That’s so cute,” the first laughed. “You guys are gay?” She sounded sincere, not mocking.

“I’m bisexual. Frank?” Gerard asked curiously.

“Um, I don’t know. I guess gay, for the most part. Kind of bi? Haha, I’m not sure.”

“Yeah, that’s awesome! I’m so happy for you two,” this was the second nurse.

“Me too! I wish I had someone who loved me,” the other said.

“Aw, I love you Kelsey,” nurse #2 said.

“Ha, I love you, too Nikki,” Kelsey stated. “Just not in the way they love each other.”

On of their pagers went off. “Kelse, it’s for both of us. The diabetes patient, second floor,” Nikki announced.

“Kessler?” Kelsey asked standing up.

“Yep. We have to go boys. Later,” Nikki said. The girls waved as they ran out of the room like 15 year old girls talking to two hot 20 year olds.

“They seem nice,” Gerard said. “OK, I cannot wait to get you home. We’re going to go in my room, and—,” the doctor walked in.

“Doctor alert! Frankie, I really think you should see someone before you leave. We can hook you up with a guy, or maybe you’d prefer a woman, that can be done. Anyway, we can do it right now, if you’d like.”

Gerard looked at Frank and they nodded at each other. “Yeah, OK. The girl please,” Frank said politely. The doctor let him get dressed and led Frank and Gerard down the hall. They went in the elevator. Frank and Gerard held hands the entire time until they got to the office. Frank turned to speak to Gerard. “I’ll be out soon Gerard. Go see the guy, while I’m in there.”

“OK. I guess; can I see the male, Doctor Shapiro?” Gerard asked, knowing the answer.

“Of course you can. Right this way,” He led Gerard a little up the hall and turned around to face Frank. “Sorry! She’s expecting you, just go on in.” Frank nodded. He walked into the room.

“Frank?” the woman asked. He nodded “Have a seat. I’m Doctor Perera. So, why did you do it?”

“Um, well, my, well now he’s my boyfriend, but he w-wasn’t then. Um, he rejected me? We were at a cemetery, and when we left to go home I said something about him being ready to get together and he said no, stop pushing him. I brought up that he called me Baby the night before in the cemetery, but he said ‘I didn’t mean it! I was drunk!’” Frank said shakily. It still hurt. “I went home and once he was inside I sprinted to my room. I sat there and cried then I snuck into the kitchen grabbed a beer, went to bathroom and got some pills for my headache, but I ended up taking more than two and downing the beers faster than I should have. I just wanted to sleep faster. I didn’t mean to… yeah.”

“You’re gay?” Ms. Perera said.

“Um, yeah. Well, maybe bisexual, I’m not sure,” Frank said uncomfortably.

“OK, well I’m not really sure what to tell you. You and your boyfriend are okay now?”

“We’re great. He was just hung over and just out of a bad relationship. He told me he’s sorry and that now we’re together it’ll never happen again,” Frank smiled.

“Oh, I’m Vindy by the way,” the shrink said.

“Nice to meet you.”

“Well, hopefully nothing like this does ever happen again. Have you ever had suicidal thoughts before?” Vindy asked.

“Uh, yes. In high school and yesterday, obviously,” Frank answered.

“Hmm, thoughts of murder or revenge?” Vindy asked. Frank chuckled to himself.

“Yes, especially in high school,” he replied with a smirk.

“Ah, not so fun high school career?” she asked.

“Not at all. I’ve always had um, quite, uh…”

“Yes?”

He laughed to himself and tried to explain. “I had quite murderous and rather violent dreams of getting revenge on everyone who was bullying me, which was pretty much everyone.”

“I see…” she said. She didn’t expect this sweet looking kid to be so revenge obsessed. Ever attempted murder?”

“No. Thought about, never attempted. I did get revenge once, though, but they beat me up after that. Badly; more so than normal.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. Can you tell me…?”


Across the hall Gerard was discussing pretty much nothing with his therapist. “Look I’m really just here to fill the time while my boyfriend is in with the girl, okay?” Gerard explained exasperated.

“I think you need to talk to someone Gerard. You need to calm down,” the doctor said as if he were dealing with a mental patient.

“I already have a therapist! Two, in fact! Their names are Bruce and Diane. They work as a couple. I see them once a week. I don’t need to talk to you because I’M ALREADY TALKING TO THEM.” Gerard screamed as he stood up. He walked out of the room. Frank was still inside. An old friend of his walked by.

“Justin Richards?” he asked. The man turned around.

“Gerard Way!” he exclaimed pulling him into a hug. “How have you been man?”

“Good, I guess. I just lost my girlfriend, but I’m with my buddy Frank now. Dude, I didn’t know you were working here!” Gerard grinned.

“Yeah! I cleaned up, went to school and got a job here. Well it’s good you got Frank now. I think I met him once; short guy, dark hair, lots of tattoos, lip and nose rings?” Justin asked.

“That’s him,” Gerard looked over to the closed door.

“So, why are you here?” Justin asked looking at his watch.

Gerard noticed this and tried to hurry his explanation. “Frank tried to kill himself yesterday because of me,” Gerard whispered sadly. “He’s with that therapist now. Ms. Perera?”

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry. Yeah, that’s her. Is everything OK with you two?” Justin asked seeming concerned.

“Yeah, we’re fine now. You probably have to go…” Gerard said looking back to Frank’s door.

“Yes, actually I do. It was great seeing you! I’ll be waiting to hear great things about you guys! MCR!” he yelled over his shoulder.

“I won’t let you down!” Gerard yelled back. He watched Justin walk away then sat next to the door waiting.

Finally, Frank came out. “Let’s get out of here!” Frank demanded impatiently. He walked toward the exit away from Gerard who scrambled after him.

“Frank! Is something wrong?” he called after him.

“NO,” Frank shouted storming out the door. All the nurses were staring after him.

“Frank, what is going on?!” Gerard grabbed Frank’s shoulders and turned him around. “Tell me.” Frank just stood there. “Frank, please? So I can help?” Frank bit the inside of his cheek.

“She wants to see me more often because she thinks I’m insane, revenge obsessed and likely to murder someone, or maybe even myself. That bitch,” he added under his breath.

“Right now you are being insane,” Gerard laughed. “C’mon, man, calm down. It’s no big deal; you don’t have to do it.”

“She already made me an appointment. I can’t just cancel can I? It’s rude, and I mean, this is being paid for by me, so I don’t want to waste my money. I guess I should go then just so I—,”

“Just blow her off. First few visits are free anyway. I asked Shapiro. Don’t go if you don’t want to. I just want you to be happy. I love you. Don’t do anything you don’t want to do.” He leaned down and kissed him. “Now, let’s get the fuck out of here and hopefully never come back again.” They got in Gerard’s car and drove back to the house. Everyone was sitting on the porch talking when they pulled in. They jumped up and ran toward the car when they noticed Frank.

“Frank!” Mikey screamed. “Oh my God! I missed you!”

“Hey Mikey! I’m so sorry guys, this was stupid!” Frank apologized.

“Just don’t ever do it again,” Bob said hugging the tiny man.

“I won’t, I swear!” Frank promised walking over to Ray who hugged him also. When they separated Ray could see in Frank’s eyes something he’d never seen in his eyes before. Frank was always happy, or he was good at hiding his emotions, so Ray never tried to analyze him very closely until now. Frank looked sad. He looked duly remorseful for what he did, which is understandable. Still, Ray had never seen this kind of sadness in Frank. It was something he was used to seeing in Gerard’s eyes.


A couple days later Ray called a meeting in his room. “Guys, I’m worried about Frank,” Ray said once he got Bob and Mikey upstairs in his room. “You that look Gerard always has in his eyes? Like he’s always sad?”

“Yeah,” Mikey said, knowing that look more than the others, since he met Gerard long before they knew him. “Did you see it in Frank’s eyes, too?”

“Yes. So
it’s not just me?” Ray asked.
“Nah, I saw it, too. It breaks my heart. He’s always so cheery, I want that Frank,” complained Bob. They heard footsteps; a knock on the door. “Come in!”

Gerard walked in. “What’s goin’ on?”

“We’re talking about Frank,” said Mikey.

“Mikey,” Ray whispered. He hadn’t planned on telling Gerard just yet.

“Well, he should know. We’re worried about him. Yesterday when he came home he looked, well, the look in his eyes… It made me think of when you get really depressed. He looked really sad Gee. We’re worried. We don’t want to lose our happy-go-lucky Frankie.”

“Guys, I love your concern, but everything will be fine,” Gerard assured them. He could tell it wasn’t going to be that easy, though.

Mikey walked over to Gerard. “Gerard, sit down, please? I really think we need to discuss this. I’ve seen him sad, but not like this.”

Gerard sighed and sat down. “Fine. Discuss.”

“You’re not going to take part?”

“No! It’s not necessary.”

Mikey frowned at him, but Gerard stood firm. “Fine, if you don’t want to help your own boyfriend, leave so we can.”

“OK.” Gerard sighed and left the room. He slammed the door behind him and ran down the stairs. He jumped over the couch, landing next to Frank. He kissed him on the cheek and un-paused the movie they were watching. A horror, of course. That was their favorite; always had been. Gerard couldn’t focus on the movie though. He was thinking about what Mikey had said; maybe it’s true, he thought. He really hoped it wasn’t. He loved the sweet, happy Frank, too.

Frank wasn’t focused on the movie either. He was staring at the screen, but lost deep inside his thoughts, going over and over in his head that maybe, as the shrink had said, he wasn’t entirely okay. Obviously he wasn’t okay. He had never been okay. He was always bullied and hated. No one in the band was or would ever be okay. That’s what made them, them. However, this was different. Gerard had always been the least okay, and Bob the most sane. Things were changing now. After his evaluation he hadn’t been as happy. He was doubting himself; his sanity. He didn’t think one accident could change his perspective so greatly, but it did. He was sure someone had to have noticed by now. It had been 3 days since he came home and he hadn’t been himself. He was over analyzing everything; people’s tones, body language, his own words and stance. He was starting to hate himself, something he didn’t want to do again.

“Frank look at me.” Frank turned toward Gerard and Gerard looked into his eyes.

Frank saw Gerard’s face grow sad. “What?”

“Are you okay?”


Later that night Gerard went to see the guys who had decided to play video games. “Can I have your help now?”

Mikey smiled. “What made you change your mind?”

“I asked him if he was okay, and he said ‘I don’t know.’”

Ray and Bob looked up. Ray looked worried. “He said that?”

“Yes, of course he said it. Why would I say he said it if he didn’t?”

“Sorry.”

Bob got up and walked downstairs. “Where’s he going?” asked Gerard.

“Probably making sure Frank doesn’t think something is going on. We don’t want to freak him out,” Mikey explained.

“Right. What are we going to do?” They could hear the desperation in Gerard’s voice.

They thought in silence for a moment. Mikey lifted his head. “I think you need to have a heart-to-heart with him, big brother. It’ll be best if you do it. If it doesn’t work, all of us will do it. Go talk to him, Gerard. Subtly let Bob know he needs to leave.”

Gerard walked downstairs loudly. Bob looked up at him and Gerard gestured for him to go upstairs. Bob got up and walked past Gerard. Gerard went and sat next to Frank again. Frank looked pleased to see him. “Hey Gee!”

“Frank… what’s wrong?” asked Gerard. He figured he’d just come right out and ask.

“I… I’m not sure,” Frank lowered his head.

“No, I mean, what’s wrong with you as in why are you so depressed all of a sudden. We can all see it. We’re worried Frank. We want you to be happy,” Gerard told him.

“I know. Ever since I talked to Vindy I’ve felt like shit. What if she’s right? Maybe I am insane, or a murderer or whatever. I mean, I do think of some crazy shit—,”

“Frank, shut up for a minute. Don’t think that way. You’re awesome. You’re no more insane than any of us, OK? Especially Mikey; he’s the loon of the band. You won’t become a murderer. That was just plain ridiculous of her.”

Frank smiled. “Ridonkulous,” he corrected.

“Ha, there’s my Frank,” Gerard said. He leaned forward and kissed Frank. “Now, back to the pep talk. Frank, you’re just pure awesomeness personified. You’re talented, gorgeous, sweet, so smart. You’re one of the funniest guys I have ever met, and I went to art school. You top everyone I met there. You’re a great lyricist. They may be kind of angry sometimes, but have you heard mine? ‘Now I think I’ll blow my brains against the ceiling and as the fragment of my skull begin to fall, fall on your tongue like pixie dust, just think happy thoughts. And we’ll fly home!’ Headfirst For Halos is one of the most messed up song ever written probably.”

“Yeah that’s true,” Frank agreed.

“Frankie, my love, all in all, you’re the most amazing man I’ve ever met. I love you, and I always will. You have nothing to be insecure about. Everyone who made fun of you in high school just didn’t take the time to know you. They’re the assholes, not you.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Frank said, but he didn’t sound very sure.

“Frank, this isn’t you!” Gerard yelled. “Being upset and insecure; it isn’t you! Now, what is wrong with you? Why can’t you accept that you’re awesome?”

“Vindy said—,”

“This isn’t about Vindy, Frank! It’s about YOU. What’s going on with YOU? Where did MY Frank go? What happened to you? You, who doesn’t give a shit what anyone says, you’re suddenly taking something some stupid girl said to heart? Forget what that bitch said to you. Completely erase it from your mind. Please? I-I want…” Gerard stutter as he held back tears, “I want the old y-you back.” He started crying. “Please, Frank.”

“I’ll try,” he promised. Tears spilled from his eyes now, too. “I love you. If I’m amazing then you’re like, God to me. You have the most beautiful voice I’ve ever—,” Gerard put a finger over Frank’s lips.

“This isn’t about me. We can marvel at my awesomeness later,” he laughed, “but right now, Babe, it’s all about you. Now, if I go tell them that we have out Frankie back, will I be lying?”

“I guess not…”

“Frank!”

“Just kidding; no, you won’t be lying. I’m sorry that your source of happiness h—,”

“And inspiration,” Gerard reminded him.

“Your source of happiness and inspiration has been so down lately,” he apologized.

“It’s okay; you actually were in inspiration to me. I wrote a song about us,” he stood up and went to get something from his room. He turned around. “Come on!” Frank jumped up and followed him. He was excited to hear this. He was intrigued; Gerard was the one to write depressing tales of love, not cheesy love songs. “Sit down,” he said as he rummaged through his papers. Frank plopped down on the red and black bed. “OK. Here it is.
“‘This night, walk the dead in a solitary style and crash the cemetery gates in the dress your husband hates. Way down, mark the grave where the searchlights find us drinking by the mausoleum. And they found you on the bathroom floor! I miss you!’” he wailed. “’I miss you so far. And the collision of you kiss that made it so hard! Back home, off the run, singin’ songs that make you slit your wrists. It isn’t that much fun staring down a loaded gun. So I won’t stop dying, won’t stop lying, if you want I’ll keep on crying. Did you get what you deserve? Is this what you always want me for?! I miss you! I miss you so far! And the collision of your kiss that made it so hard. Way down, way down, way down, way down, way down, way down, way down, way down, way down! I miss you, I miss you so far! And the collision of your kiss that made it so hard! Well, well I miss you! Well, I miss you so far! And the collision of your kiss that made it so hard! Made it so hard. Way down, way down, way down, way down, way down, way down, way down, way down, way down…’
“So, that’s it. Obviously it’s like, when we got drunk in the cemetery and then we get back and we’re upset and worn out. And you, your accident, and how that made me feel. Like, ‘did you get what you deserve? Is this what you always want me for?’ is more like you asking me that. I caused your accident and it scared the shit out of me, which I guess I deserve. I feel like I pushed you away, you know? Like I made you feel like we would always be friends and that’s what I always want you for, is a friend. It’s not, by the way. And I missed you, the old you. Kissing you made it that much harder. Cause I felt like I was kissing a completely different man. Then you’re dying inside and you’re lying about being okay and I’m crying about it because ‘I miss you.’ That’s pretty much it. What do you think?”

Frank was amazed. “It’s so awesome Gee! Thank you!” He leapt from the bed. HE wrapped his arms around the taller man and buried his head in his chest. “Your voice is beautiful by the way.”

“So I’ve heard,” they laughed and sat on the bed. “Do you really like it?”

“Of course! I like the thing about my husband’s wedding dress? I always imagined you as the girl though,” he mused.

“Oh, that’s mean! I’m bigger, so I should be the man,” Gerard reasoned.

“It depends on what you mean,” Frank said, an evil smile forming on his face.

“Oh, ouch! Now in that department I am bigger, buddy.”

“Why don’t we just test that right now? See who is really bigger,” He pushed Gerard down on the bed.

“Fine, but it’s me, I’m telling you!” Gerard kissed Frank and pulled back. “You first.”

“How about same time?”

“Oh, OK.”

“Wait,” Frank hesitated, “let’s just make out first.”

“Are you thinking of backing out? Well forget, you’ve insulted my manhood, I’m not forgetting no matter what you do to me. Lobotomize me and I’ll remember.”

“I know, but it’s our first time.”

“This is true. First time either of us have been with a guy. Right?” Gerard asked.

“Yes. You’re my first… Man, my first man!” he added when he saw the shocked look on Gerard’s face. “Ha, you really think I’m a virgin? Please!”

“Well... Nah, you’re way too sexy for anyone to resist you. So, we’re gay virgins?”

“No cause that just means we’re gay and virgins. We’re um, oh I don’t know. Forget it! Let’s become not gay-sex-virgins!” Frank shouted. Gerard laughed and kissed him. Frank looked at the clock. It was 3AM. He felt bad for Bob, who shared a wall with Gerard. Bob was always in his room but not asleep at this time. Then Gerard’s hand slid into Frank’s pants and any sympathy he was feeling for the drummer disappeared as a moan escaped from his lips.


Frank walked into the living room with a huge smile on his face. Bob was glaring at him. Frank just chuckled and went to the kitchen. Gerard was sitting at the table. “Hey babe,” he smiled. “Come here.” Frank just stood there smirking. He was wearing pajama pants and nothing else. Gerard on the other hand was already dressed. “OK, guess I’ll come to you.” Frank smiled more. Gerard walked over to him, put his hands on frank’s tiny hips and lifted him onto the counter. “God you look hot with no shirt on. Your tattoos turn me on,” he whispered in his ear.

“I love you,” Frank stated. Gerard kissed his neck. Frank put his hands on Gerard’s waist and slid forward so he was closer to his pale lover. He ran his fingers through Gee’s hair. Mikey walked in and groaned.

“Get a fucking room!” he yelled. Gerard laughed which, since he was still kissing Frank, sent chills down the boy’s spine. Frank swung his legs around Gerard and was picked up. This time he kissed Gerard’s neck as Gerard carried him to his room.

“Hey guys, would you rather we fuck upstairs where you can hear banging, or downstairs where you hear moaning?”

“And other pleasurable noises…” Frank added. Gerard laughed at the inside joke. “Well?”

Ray just gave them a distressed look and Bob got his keys and walked out the door. They turned to Mikey who pointed to Frank’s room. Gerard walked in Frank’s room, shut the door and threw him down onto the bed, as gently as you can throw such a fragile man onto a bed. He put on music for Mikey and Ray’s benefit and straddled Frank’s waist. Gerard pulled his shirt off. Frank who was already shirtless just watched and bit his lip. Gerard got up and looked at Frank in an apologetic way. He opened Frank’s dresser. Frank looked at him confused. Gerard had stashed something in one of Frank’s drawers. He pulled it out, hid it behind his back and got back on Frank.

“I took this liberty of hiding this in your room,” Gerard held up the tube. Frank smiled and bit his lip again. Gerard opened it and held it to Frank’s face. He closed his eyes and thought.

“Strawberry?” he asked opening his eyes again. Gerard nodded. Frank threw his head back and closed his eyes again, still playing with his lip ring. He opened his eyes after a second. “Gerard? Why aren’t you… doing anything?” Gerard titled his head at this question.

“Umm, I’m not really sure how to respond to that…?” Gerard said. Frank rolled his eyes, pulled Gerard down on top of him and began kissing him. Gerard loved Frankie’s cold lip ring between there fast moving, passionate lips. Frank loved that when they were doing this and he put his head on Gerard’s chest he could hear and feel the desperation murmur of a heartbeat. They both loved when Gerard would sing songs to Frank in a hushed tone. Frank liked Gerard’s voice and Gerard liked Frank’s reaction. It pushed Frank to be more… “into” the sex. In Frank’s eyes there was nothing sexier than Gerard’s voice. It was hotter than Gerard himself. Gerard however, loved, along with his natural beauty, all of Frank’s tattoos and piercings.

Then there was their smells. That was one reason they loved to be so close all the time. They loved the way each other smelled. Frank loved to smells the coffee and cigarettes on Gerard’s breath and his lack of cologne. He liked burying his face in his boyfriend’s long jet black hair to smell his shampoo. Gerard liked how Frank’s cologne mixed with the smell of his cigarettes. It drove him crazy when Frank put gel in his black hair; but in a good way. The strawberry scent added to the scene just made being so close much better.

Within minutes the tube had been opened and the strawberry scented substance was in use. Needless to say, their band members were very unhappy with this. Mikey had headphones on and was lying face down on the couch with his arms covering his head. Even though he couldn’t hear them, he could still hear them in his mind. Ray was sitting upstairs in his room. He would be listening to music, but his stereo was messing up today, of all days. So he read instead, trying to get so into the book everything around him faded away. It wasn’t happening. He could still faintly hear their moans, and it was getting louder. Bob was still gone. He walked downstairs and saw Mikey. He heard Green Day’s Worry Rock blasting from the headphones and wondered how the guy wasn’t deaf yet. He went outside where he was safe from the lovers. He couldn’t hear a thing. He figured he might as well save Mikey, too so he opened the door, threw his lighter at Mike and waved his hand to call him outside. Mikey ran outside and Ray slammed the door.

“You can’t hear anything out here!” Mikey realized. Ray nodded.

Pretty soon Bob came home. “Are they still…?” he wondered.

“Yes,” Ray answered. “They are still fucking, I assume. I was in my room and I could hear them m—,”

“Okay! That’s my brother in there. I don’t want to hear, see or hear about anyone seeing or hearing anything.”

“Sorry, Mikey,” Ray said. Mikey nodded. “Are they done yet?! It’s been 5 hours! I mean even if they took those pills they’re always advertising at the Super Bowl, they should be done by now. It says on them if you’re still active after four hours, you should call a damn doctor!”

“Bob, go see!” Mikey suggested.

“Why me?”

“Well, he’s my brother so I can’t and Ray already dealt with it. It’s your turn. I know you already did, too, but c’mon, please?”

“Fine,” Bob said standing from the porch step. He walked to the door and looked behind him at his friends. He turned the knob and stepped in.

Gerard and Frank were sitting on the couch in each other’s arms watching a movie. “I can’t fucking believe this!” Bob exclaimed. “Mikey, Ray, they’re watching a movie!” Mikey walked to the door. Ray followed when Mikey walked inside.

“We thought you were still…” Ray’s voice trailed off.

“We’ve been done a couple hours,” Frank laughed. “Five hours? That’s too long even if you’re on Viagra.” Gerard laughed with him. “Why didn’t one of you just check? Would it really have been that bad?”

Gerard looked at Frank and nodded. “Seriously. It’d just be like in “The Ghost Of You” when I moan.” Mikey rolled his eyes. “What?” Gerard asked his brother.

“It’s not the same. There’s a difference between you moaning into a microphone and into… him,” Mikey explained awkwardly. “I love you Gee, and I’m glad you’re happy, same to you Frank, but I don’t want to hear you.”

“I get it bro. We were thinking of going to the movies, so, bye,” Gerard smiled. He pulled Frank from the couch and walked outside. Mikey sat down and watched the movie they had just finished with Ray and Bob.

Gerard and Frank sat in the back with all the teenagers that make out during the movie. Most of the teenagers stopped when Gerard and Frank sat down, thinking they were adults, which they were. When Frank kissed Gerard however, all the kids smiled and went back to kissing. They enjoyed the duration of the movie like that. All of them did.

Around the time of the end of the movie, Bob decided he was going to get some food from Burger King for everyone. Mikey phone started playing “Zero” by the Smashing Pumpkins 30 minutes later. “Finally,” he said as he answered it. “Hello?” He was expecting it to be Bob explaining what was taking so long.

“Mikey Way?” A man’s voice asked.

“Yes, who is this?”

“Dr. Shapiro. Mikey s—,” Mikey dropped his phone.


When they got to the hospital Bob was in the waiting room. Gerard and Frank weren’t and no one knew which was hurt. “I’m so sorry I didn’t call you guys, they told me they’d take care of it!” Bob apologized. Mikey nodded. They all remained silent after that. Dr. Shapiro walked out.

“Is it Frank? Everything has been fine, what happened?!” Ray jumped from his seat. Mikey and Bob stood, too.

“No. Gerard got into a fight at the movie theater. A bad fight. He’s really hurt. And Frank, well, he’s really upset. He’s a little mad that I can’t tell him anything, so I’ll tell you Mikey, come over here, please.” Dr. Shapiro told Mikey everything that was wrong with his brother. Horrified was an understatement for how Mikey felt.

“I have to see him!” Mikey cried. The doctor led him to a room. Frank was sitting on his knees with his head resting on Gerard’s bed sobbing. Mikey walked in and sat next to him. He put on arm around Frank, who scooted closer to Mikey, and curled his other hand into a fist. He bit his index finger, closed his eyes and cried with Frank. They knew he’d most likely be fine, but seeing him this way was so terrible. Only family was allowed to see him right now. However, considering Frank’s connection to Gerard and his… past here the doctor let him stay. Gerard woke up after a while. Frank and Mikey were sitting on opposite sides of the bed when he opened his eyes.

“Guys?” he whispered.

“Gerard!” They screamed in unison.

“Baby, come here,” Frank obeyed. Gerard kissed him lightly and turned his head to face Mikey. “Hey bro,” he said, his voice coarse.

“Hey Gee. How do you feel?” Mikey asked.

“Um… like shit. Have you talked to… um…?” Gerard whispered to Mikey.

“Who?” Mikey asked. “Oh, uh, no. Would you like me to? Like, can Bob or Ray do it?” Gerard nodded. “OK, good. What should I say?” Mikey asked glancing up at Frank.

“Baby, can we have a minute?” Gerard said to Frank. Frank was suspicious, but left. “Tell him we’re over, I’m never seeing him again and he can call off John. I’m done. Repeat it to me, Mikes, this is important.”

“Bert, you dirty asshole, Gerard is done. You’re over. The deal’s done. Call off John ‘cause Gerard is fucking out. He never wants to see you again, fuck face,” Mikey said with a smile. Gerard laughed.

“I love you bro. Go tell bob to say that. Bert is afraid of Bob. Bring Frank back in.”

Mikey walked out and glanced around for Frank. He assumed he must be getting coffee or smoking or something. “Bob, uh Gerard wants you to call…” he looked around for Frank again. “Bert.” Ray and Bob breathed in quickly and sat up straight with confused looks. “Tell him, exactly, ‘Bert, you dirty asshole, Gerard is done. You two are over, the deal is done. Call off John, ‘cause Gerard is fucking out! He never wants to see your ugly face again, douche bag.’” Ray laughed and Bob took out his phone. He scrolled through the numbers and walked down the hall. Mikey was listening from his seat. Bob said everything word for word.

Frank walked down the hall, cookie in hand. He heard Bob talking.


“Gerard is done with you. You two are over, Bert,” was all he needed to hear. He didn’t listen to anymore. He turned around and ran to the elevator. He got in the empty elevator and sat down. He wasn’t sure what floor he was going too. He considered going home, but the keys were in Gerard’s room. He couldn’t go down, being on the first floor so he went all the way up. He played “XO” by Fall Out Boy. When he got to the top he went out onto the roof and sat down. He figured no one would find him up here. He listened to music on his phone.

After Bob’s phone call Mikey remembered he was supposed to get Frank. “Guys, where’s Frank?” he asked.


“He went to get a cookie,” Ray told him. “We better find him. Mikey, go to the roof and check every vending machine from there down. I’ll start down here. Bob, wait for him here. Call if you find him. Go,” he ordered, walking off.

Frank was standing at the edge of the building, just enjoying the wind blowing against his face, drying his constant tears. Mikey burst through the door. Frank spun around. “Why didn’t you tell me?!”

“Tell you what?” Mikey asked walking over to Frank. He put his hand on his shoulder and led him to the door.

“I’m not going back.”

“Then let’s just sit in the elevator and talk, okay? What am I not telling you?”

“Gerard is cheating on me! You all knew and you didn’t tell me!”

“Frank, NO! Bert isn’t his boyfriend, he’s his…” he couldn’t say it. Frank would flip. He made a promise to Gerard. He knew though that more than anything in the world, Gerard wanted Frank safe. “His drug dealer.” Frank’s face grew very white, and very still. He just stared at Mikey’s chest. “Frank? He hasn’t been doing anything lately. He hasn’t seen in Bert in a long time. That man that did this to him; it was one of Bert’s friends. Bert’s really mad at Gerard because he’s stopped calling, emailing, stopping by. Gerard called off their ‘relationship’ today. It’s over, in the past, done.”

Frank was speechless. “I can’t believe he…”

“Neither can we. After today though, he’s done. Bert’s never coming around again,” Mikey assured him.

Frank stood up and walked out of the elevator. He walked to Gerard’s room and sat down.

“Frank, thank god! They said you disappeared and I freaked out. Where were you?” Gerard asked taking Frank’s hand.

“The roof.”

“Why?” Frank shrugged. “Frankie baby, what’s wrong? Oh… did you talk to Mikey?” Frank nodded. “I’m sorry. I haven’t done that in a long time, I swear!” Frank looked down. Gerard noticed a tear fall from Frank’s face. “I’m sorry! I love you, that’s why I didn’t tell you. I didn’t want to hurt you then John…” Frank was crying harder now. “I’m sorry, Frank. You have no idea how sorry I am.”


A couple weeks later Gerard was back home and back to normal. He and Frank were back “in action” and they were writing songs again. One night Frank and Gerard got the day to themselves. The guys were all leaving for the day and part of the next day for who knows how long. All to different places. So, Frank and Gerard had a movie night in Frank’s bedroom. Sometime during one of the movies things got intimate. They were both in black and red, matching silk boxers for whatever reason and nothing else. Knowing the one line from any song that makes Frank crazy, Gerard sang once it would be true.

“’Your lips tremble, but your eyes are in a straight stare. We’re on the bed, but your clothes are layin’ right there’” he sang. Frank loved “Shake It” by Metro Station. And “Control” by them. Frank pulled Gerard down roughly and kissed him. Gerard smiled and pulled back. “May I?” he said, making sure Frank was ready.

“Yes!” Frank mumbled. Gerard laughed. It wasn’t exactly the romantic night they had planned. More like hardcore, sweaty, monstrous fucking.


In the morning Gerard had to go run an errand. The guys had left their equipment out from the practice the day before. Mikey was the first to return. He noticed Frank’s guitar had been broken. He assumed it was nothing and walked into the kitchen. He wasn’t expecting what was waiting for him.

Ray was the next inside. He was walking with Bob but bob stopped to talk to the neighbor for a minute. Ray walked in and the door slammed behind him. Ray spun around.

Next, Bob walking in with the mail, laughing about his conversation with the 20 year old guy next door. His laughing seized almost immediately.

An old black car pulled into the driveway. A tall pale man with long jet black hair and green eyes stepped out. He was wearing a leather jacket, black pants and a Morrissey shirt. On his feet work black boots from Hot Topic. Around his wrist was a rhinestone bracelet reading “Revenge” in all capital letters. This man smelled like cigarettes and coffee. He was planning on being greeted by the smell of hair gel, cigarettes, coffee and cologne, probably Axe. Instead he got a very different smell. A dirty, musty smell. He noticed the broken guitars, bass, and kick drum. Only the microphone was intact. “Guys? What the fuck is that smell?”

“And then there was one. So glad you could join your lover and friends. Too bad you weren’t here sooner. I couldn’t risk any accidents, though so I couldn’t wait for you to arrive.”

“What did you do?”

“You know what I did. See the broken instruments? Notice which one isn’t messed up?” the man said.

“Why?” Gerard asked, trying to keep his voice calm.

“I don’t like being… dumped, so to speak. My clients are important to me. I should’ve been more important to you than your dumb boyfriend.”

“Shut up! Frank is amazing! Where is he?! Frank! Mikey? What did you do asshole?!” Gerard screamed.

“Oh, Gerard, baby, John was just the beginning. Now, I could let you suffer with this, but I know you’d go to the cops. Bye-bye, sweetheart.”

“Don’t call me that!” Gerard snapped.

“Fine. Bye… Gee.”

Bang, bang.

Snap. The top half of the mic stand fell to the floor with Gerard.


Epilogue

Bert left the house that day, never to be seen again. The last sighting of him was with girlfriend Katie Smith and partner John O’Callaghan.

A/N: This si the first story I've ever finished and it's my first Frerard. R/R please. Moral of the story: never piss off your drug dealer haha