Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco

Hold Me Tight

by LovelyxMistake 1 review

oneshot. Brendon/Audrey I wrote this at like three in the morning, and had trouble with the ending. I thought Brendon and Audrey were kind of cute, Audrey just seemed fun to write. read and revie...

Category: Panic! At The Disco - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Drama,Romance - Published: 2009-06-24 - Updated: 2009-06-29 - 1560 words - Complete

Brendon's loud laugh shakes Audrey from her slumber. She almost smiles until she realizes that she is alone in the bunk. She rubs the back of one of her small hands over her brown eyes, effectively rubbing off some the day old makeup she hadn't bothered to take off before crawling into bed the previous night; she rubs the eyeliner off her hand and onto her shorts.

When she steps into the lounge, neither Brendon nor Ryan takes notice of her presence. Half-heartedly she considers trying to dance to get Brendon's attention, but instead turns around and walks back to the bunk as quietly as she had come. This wasn't the first time Audrey had woken up in the bunk by herself that week, nor was it the first she had gone out to find Brendon so deep in conversation with Ryan that he didn't notice her watching them. It was nauseating really. It was almost like they were more than a couple than she was with Brendon. 'They can have they're little whatever-it-is,' she tells herself, balling her fists in her lap as she thinks about it, 'I've got Jac." This comforts her, though when she thinks about it the relationship she has with Jac mirrors the one Brendon and Ryan have.

There's a buzz from under her sweatshirt (it was really Brendon's, but it was practically hers because she wore it so much), and it drags her from her thoughts. She relaxes her fists and puts the sweatshirt on before reaching for her Sidekick. Her lips curve into a smile despite her mood, it's like Jac knew she had been thinking about her. They had some mental connection; Audrey swore her life on it.

good morning, sunshine. i just had a dream about him again... make it stop, please. imissyou

Audrey frowns as she remembers Ryan and Jac's break up the month before. She and Brendon had been perusing some vintage shops and had come back Jac's dorm room just in time to hear the finale and to see Ryan leave. With a squeeze of the hand and a promise to meet up later, Audrey and Brendon parted ways to comfort their friends. Later turns into the next day as comforting Jac turns into a post-breakup sleep over, complete with ice cream, movies, and some booze.

morning, love. head up! the boy's stupid. he obviously doesn't know the mistake he has made but when he does he'll realize he had the best and can't do better than you. imissyoutoo

She presses send and pulls the covers over herself because her legs are cold. She can hear their hushed voices and jealousy settles in her stomach. She thinks about going out and telling Ryan to step off her boyfriend, but her phone buzzes before she can even actually consider acting on the though. 'Thank god for Jac and her fast thumbs! That probably would have ended badly..." she thinks, flipping the screen up on her phone.

Audrey and Jac's conversation centers on everything they are going to do when she comes to visit Jac in Los Angeles. They have a photoshoot planned ("because my camera misses your pretty face," Jac says), and plans to just get completely trashed ("because we need it," they both agree). After a bit, Jac says she needs to go to class, and Audrey tells her to text her later.

Audrey isn't sure when she drifted back to sleep, but doesn't complain about the lips pressing into her neck as a wake up call. She opens her eyes slowly; he's looking at her with his bright eyes, with a smile on his full lips, "Good morning, princess, there are pancakes," he murmurs, leaning over to kiss her forehead before disappearing again.

She sniffs the air and her mouth waters. She shoves her Sidekick into her sweatshirt pocket and follows her nose to the kitchenette.

Brendon's got a plate waiting for her; her heart flutters when she notices the chocolate chips in her pancakes. Chocolate chip pancakes are her favorite because that is the first breakfast Brendon ever made her, and from the looks of it she was the only one to have chocolate chips in her pancakes. She looks at Ryan's plate specifically and notes there aren't any in his pancakes with an almost smug smile.

Before bed that night (it's morning at that point really, but Audrey is still counting it as night until she has fallen asleep), Audrey's painting her fingernails a vivid shade of purple while Brendon paints her toenails hot pink. She is concentrating on putting the second coat on her right hand when Brendon speaks.

"We're getting pretty big."

She looks away from her nails and down at him, "I know," she murmurs, remembering how just months ago Panic! At the Disco had been touring in a van opposed to the lavish bus they were in now.

"I'm going to be famous," he says next, his eyes focused on her toes.

Audrey's ribcage tightens at his words. That was their dream together. She remembers how many nights they had whispered about it when they should have been sleeping. It seems like forever ago that they had done it. "Me too," she whispers.

He looks up at her for the first time, but doesn't say anything more about it. He closes the nail polishes tightly for her and pecks Audrey on the lips. "I'll see you in bed."

Audrey sits frozen on the couch until her nails are dry, saying 'he didn't say that he loved me,' over and over again in her head. When they are dry, she pads softly to Brendon's bunk. Her hand is on the curtain when Ryan passes her; their eyes meet for a brief second in the dark and the hand at her side balls into a fist. He walks away and she crawls into the bunk beside Brendon. "I love you," she mumbles into the back of his neck; he's long asleep, but she doesn't care. She falls asleep remembering when everything was perfect and wasn't slowly falling down around her.

"I'm famous now," dream-Brendon tells her dream-self. Her dream-self frowns at his words. "I can have anyone I want now, you know," he states in a matter of fact tone.

Dream-Audrey's brows furrow, "What do you mean?" She asks, her voice quavering.

"I don't need you anymore."

Audrey wakes with a start. Her heart is beating loudly in her ears. With a few deep breaths, she has her heart under control but the uneasy feeling remains nestled in her stomach. The bus is still nearly silent, the only noise is the even breathing of the sleeping boys. Brendon's still asleep, his back to Audrey still. "It was just a dream, he still loves me," she whispers to herself in attempt to reassure herself and get rid of the knot in her stomach. The words help a little bit, and she is soon asleep again.

Audrey doesn't know why she hasn't seen the changes in him until now. It's like someone had ripped a blindfold off her eyes and yelled "Surprise!" She can see it in everything he does, in every look he gives her, in every word her speaks, in every kiss he gives her and every other place she could think to look. Her heart aches to have the boy she fell in love with back. The only changes Audrey can pick out for herself are only the ones she does to her hair, other than that she hasn't changed a bit since they've been dating. She curses his ever-rising fame and wishes they had found it together like they had talked about so many sleepless nights.

February fades into March, and the mask Audrey has been wearing for weeks to hide her dismay in his changes begins to falter. The more she watches him, the more she promises that she is never going to let anything change her as drastically as it fame was doing to him. Her only real comfort comes from talking to Jac.

It's a gloomy day in wherever-the-hell-they-are (Audrey hasn't been keeping track of where they are and have been for weeks now) and Brendon has a slew of interviews lined up for the day. Audrey excuses herself mid-way through the first interview to go for a walk.

Audrey find the weather fitting for her mood, and is in no way surprised when the raindrops start falling. She shakes her hood off of her head and sighs. She slowly walks the perimeter of the lot they are in, letting the rain soak into her hair and clothes, and mess up the makeup she had taken fifteen tedious minutes to put on that morning. She circles the bus a few more times until she is soaked to the core and shivering. She settles on the ground below one of the bus' windows.

She plays with her Sidekick in her pocket and listens to the interview being conducted inside as it floats out to her through the open window. She isn't listening to questions, just his answers. She stops playing with her phone to hear his next words.

"I'm famous, I can have anything or anyone I want," he laughs.

Her heart stops for a second, and she can swear that she feels it break in two.
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