Categories > Anime/Manga > Tsubasa/xxxHolic

Moments in Time

by shinigami_xx 2 reviews

Fai attempts to commit suicide, believing it to be best for the group. However, this overshadows his true reason...his belief that his affections for a certain princess aren't returned. Can Sakura ...

Category: Tsubasa/xxxHolic - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Angst,Romance - Characters: Fye,Sakura - Published: 2009-06-27 - Updated: 2009-06-27 - 1799 words - Complete

Moments in Time

Author’s Note: My second Fai/Sakura-can’t you tell I just love this pairing? Well, in this story, Fai tries to kill himself, and Sakura saves him. All I’m saying, ‘kay? Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle.

Moments in Time:

Stars shown down from the clear ebony sky, the new moon a dark circle high above. Outside the small town of Spirit, a lake reflected the night sky in all its glory. Wind whistled through the trees, a mournful sound. The surface of the lake rippled with invisible creatures.

On the edge of the lake, a figure sat, staring into the depths. The breeze blew his blond hair off of his face, revealing tears in his blue eyes.

He knew that the others would not come after him; he told them he wanted to be alone. However, he wished so much that one of them would appear right now and take him away from this abyss.

He thought back to his reason for traveling the worlds.

“I never want to return home…there is no turning back. I’ll travel through worlds anonymous to me…in search of my true happiness. Come find me.”

Yet he had no reason anymore. If he were to kill himself…the reason would go away. Everyone’s problems would go away. Really, it would be better for them…they wouldn’t miss him.

He was lying to himself, and he knew it. If he were to kill himself…

Kurogane would curse every god he knew of, destroy something, and then cry.

Syaoran would be in shock…he’d just sit there.

Mokona would sob their heart out.

And Sakura…he couldn’t even bear to think of what Sakura would do. His princess. She would think it was her fault…she’d be broken hearted.

He buried his head in his hands. Why did people ever commit suicide, if they knew how it would hurt the people they left behind?

But it really was best for everyone. He had to leave this world behind…he had no reason to live. No will to live.

Slowly, he stood, and perched himself on the edge of the lake. It was rather deep here... that was good.

He looked up at the stars, at the sky he knew so well, one last time.

“Good-bye,” he thought, and then let himself fall forward into the dark waters.


Sakura made her way slowly through the trees, lost in her own thoughts. She had told the others she was just going outside to look at the sky…but she was actually looking for Fai.

He had told them he wanted to be alone, but something about the way he said it made her think he wasn’t planning on coming back. Instead of saying, “See you in a bit,” or “Be back later,” he had said “Good-bye.”

Good-bye. Neither Syaoran-kun or Kurogane-san had noticed…but it had sounded almost like, “Good-bye forever.”

And then there was the look in his eyes.

Pain. Sorrow. Regret. And hollow. His eyes had seemed hollow and dead, like he wasn’t there anymore.

Which was why she had to find him.

However, she had no clue where he could have gone. So she wandered, hoping to chance upon him by her unfailing luck.

At last the trees ended, to reveal the beauty of a sparkling lake. She stepped to the edge, breathing deeply for a moment.

It was so beautiful…yet something seemed wrong.

There was a sense of danger in the air…something ominous. Curious, she glanced around the lake…just in time to see a figure fall into the water not thirty feet from her.


Fai was floating in the water, his eyes closed. Surprisingly, he felt no need for air. He simply drifted, content.

He chanced to open his eyes for a moment, revealing green nothingness. His vision was beginning to darken around the edges. His chest began to tighten.

“So this is what death feels like…” he thought, and his eyes slowly closed as he surrendered himself to the darkness.


Sakura screamed, and began to run toward the spot where she had seen the person fall.

“No, no, NO!” were her thoughts. Upon reaching flatted patch of reeds, she stared desperately into the water, searching for any sign of a resurfacing figure.

Suddenly, her frantic eyes caught a glimpse of tangled blond hair, sinking rapidly from view. She only knew one person with that hair.

“Fai-san!” she shrieked, and threw herself into the water, stroking her hands through the water as fast as she could.

She was right. He hadn’t planned on returning. He had planned all along… to…kill himself.

Even though she was underwater, she felt hot tears stinging her cheeks. Why? Why did he want to die? Did they not matter to him? Did…did she not matter to him?

At that thought, she shook her head, still swimming. Why did she care so much?

Deep in her heart, she knew the answer.

She was in love with the blond-haired mage.


Fai’s senses were slipping away from him. The only thing he could still feel was the coolness of the water. Was he still sinking? He couldn’t tell…

“Sakura…I’m so sorry,” he thought. Why did he care so much about her?

Deep in his heart, he knew the answer.

He was in love with the innocent princess.


Sakura continued to arrow herself down through the water, until at last Fai came into view. He was so limp…was she already too late?

“No!” she thought. He wasn’t going to die!

With a last few desperate strokes, she wrapped an arm around his waist and began to kick upwards. Her chest was beginning to hurt…she was running out of air.

Determined, she held on to him tighter, and stroked harder with her one hand.

“I will make it,” she thought. “I will not let him die.”


When an arm wrapped around his waist and began to tug him upwards, Fai though for sure that he was dead. This was an angel, come to take him to whatever came after this life.

When he opened his eyes and looked up, he was surprised to see that it was Sakura pulling him towards the surface, a determined look on her face.

“Perhaps…” he thought. “Angels take the form of the loved ones we left behind…”

With that, he closed his eyes, and slipped away.


Sakura felt it when Fai left. It was like a hole in her heart…a rip in her soul. Invisible tears fell freely from her eyes. He was gone. The mage she loved was gone.

“I will not let it end like this!”

At last, her head broke the surface, and she gasped for breath, the cold water plastering her hair to her head. With all her strength, she pulled Fai’s head above the water. Her feeling was right; he wasn’t breathing. Desperately, she pulled him towards the shore.

Finally, her feet touched wet sand, and, exhausted, she stumbled onto dry ground. Moments later, her legs gave out and she collapsed.

“I can’t worry about that now! Fai-san is dying right by my side!”

Calming herself, she carefully flipped the mage onto his back, and began to perform what Syaoran had called “CPR” when he taught it to her.

Her hands pumped up and down on his chest, frantically trying to expel the water from his lungs.

After about ten seconds, she opened his mouth, leaned down, and blew air into his windpipe. She then began to push on his chest again.

Three repetitions later, he still wasn’t breathing.

“I was too late…” she murmured. And, with a sense of resignation, she laid her head on his chest and sobbed.

While, unbeknownst to her, water spilled from his mouth, and he began to breathe again.


Fai was floating in the air, looking down upon the lake which he had drowned himself in. Was he dead?

Movement on the lakeshore caught his eye. It was Sakura, and she was leaning over his unresponsive body, her hands pushing his chest. She must be trying to do that “CPR” that Syaoran had taught her.

Even as he watched, she threw herself on top of him, crying. As she did, he felt something tugging at him…and he was sucked towards his body.


Fai returned to consciousness slowly, barely aware of the burning in his lungs. He coughed suddenly, and felt another fountain of water spill out of his mouth.

Dimly, he felt the weight on top of him freeze. Then came the whisper.


He opened his eyes to see the face of his angel, still stained with tears.

“Sakura-hime…” he whispered. He reached up with one hands to tangle his slim fingers in her hair, eyes closing in contentment.

Suddenly, he felt a hot wetness on his hand, and he opened his eyes again to see fresh tears running down her face.

Gently, he pulled her down to his side, so that he could embrace her.

They lay there for a few moments, while Sakura fought to get control of her emotions again.

Finally, she spoke.


“Because…” he whispered. In truth, he had thought he had done it to protect everyone else. But now he knew the true reason.

“Because I couldn’t be with you…” he finished, so soft she almost couldn’t hear him. “Syaoran-kun…he loves you so much…and…I thought that you would love him back.”

She was silent. Ahh, so he had been right. But when she spoke again, it was to say words he never thought he’d hear leave her lips.

“Fai-san…I love you with all my heart. Syaoran-kun is so good to me…but my heart doesn’t belong to him.”

In answer, he held her tighter. Then, slowly, he sat up, bringing her with him.

“Really?” he asked.

“Really,” she replied.

With a sense of overwhelming joy, he leaned towards her, his eyes closing.

She closed her eyes as well, and their lips met in a sweet, gentle kiss, one that took all the feelings they had never said and said them for them.

Sakura’s arms came up to wrap around neck, and his found her small waist.

At last, they broke apart, and sat there, embracing each other gently.

Both sighed in contentment. Fai knew he would never try to kill himself again, and so did Sakura. His heart felt whole.

And, for just a few moments it time, all was right with the world.
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