Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Black Beauty
Although everyone thought Gerard was all big and tough and could do anything like in a comic book, he seemed friendly and normal like everyone else. He let me sleep in his bed while he slept on the couch in the bus.
I hesitated but finally gave in.
“Are you sure? I can sleep on the couch.” I said to him as I went into his room for bed.
“No, you sleep here, you’re my guest and I wouldn’t make you sleep on that thing.”
I shrugged and sat on the bed, it was the softest thing I ever felt.
“You can lock the door...you know...if it makes you more comfortable.” He said.
“Thanks.” I said.
Gee left and I locked the door. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust him; it was that I didn’t trust the other guys and I felt safer locking it. I sat on the bed again. It was funny I was sitting on the bed of a rock star without the rock star trying to do it with me. I laid down and closed my eyes.
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I couldn’t sleep; I was trying to sleep for an hour. I was curled up in a ball holding my knees. My body ached all over, if I was at my house I would have screamed but I was in My Chemical Romance’s tour bus and I didn’t want to wake Gerard up and get him worried or call 911, but there was worse, like waking Frank up and turning him on while he was stoned, not the best thing to do. I rolled out of the bed and looked at the clock, it read 3. Good. Still enough time to sleep.
But instead I unlocked the door and came outside of Gee’s room. I opened it slowly so Gee wouldn’t wake up. I silently made my way to the refrigerator for a lemon. They were all out. I groaned. I closed the fridge and turned around. I saw Gerard sleeping silently on the couch. He looked amazing sleeping I had to say. It was like peace had hit the world again, world peace. Light on my feet I made my way over to him. The moonlight from the window made him look even paler, which I thought was impossible. He was a perfect pale. His hair was even messier then usual and he had a black t-shirt on with pants that looked to long on him.
Gee looked like a perfect dark angel. And coming from me, that was pretty big. I couldn’t help myself. I slowly and carefully slid into his arms like butter. Gee didn’t snore but he was a heavy sleeper. I stared at him for about a half an hour. Gerard was beautiful. I cuddled next to him and my head ended up on his chest. That was how I fell asleep, but my dream was awful...
I was getting beat up again, but Gerard didn’t come at all, I was screaming and I could tell my lipstick and eyeliner was everywhere. I felt blood dripping from my mouth and from some places I didn’t need to talk about. I was clutching on to something but I didn’t know what. My screaming became ear splitting shrieks. I could just see the words GAME OVER in the distance as if my life was a trick or a game god had made because he was bored, as if my life meant nothing, I was going to die, and there was nothing I could do about it. I could here a voice though, it sounded like an angel.
“Rose? Rose! What are you doing! What’s wrong?”
He said it over and over...
I woke up screaming and crying, Gee looked scared, concerned, and shocked. The thing I was clutching on was his shirt. He was holding on to me tightly.
“Are you all right? What happened?” was what he asked in panicked voice.
I stopped screaming and crying realizing it was just a dream. I then realized all the guys were standing over me. Bob, Frank, Mikey, and Ray. They didn’t look drunk at all, well at least not anymore.
“It was...nothing.” I said, my voice shaking a bit.
“Don’t scare me like that Black Beauty.” Gerard said, calm and relived now.
His grip lessened and I let go of him. The guys realized they were crowding me and headed back to their rooms.
“They’ll introduce themselves later.” Gee whispered.
I looked at his watch; it was six in the morning. Then Gee spoke.
“Why did you join me on the couch anyway?”
“I couldn’t sleep.” I shrugged but the real reason was that I couldn’t hold myself back.
“So you come to sleep with me?”
I nodded playfully, as if I was a child.
He smiled. Gee’s hair was a lot messier then before, as if he got hit by a truck, I wondered why. I could see all the places I clutched onto during my nightmare by the wrinkles on his clothes, I noticed that I clutched in the wrong place. He saw me staring there and I blushed a bit.
“Sorry for...you know.” I said quietly.
He shrugged. “It didn’t hurt.”
But by the look on his face I knew that that was what really woke him up and that it REALLY hurt. I could see the dried up tears. I smiled and traced them.
“You know, if I didn’t know better I would have said that I liked it.” He whispered.
And once again I could see on his face that he kind of did like it.
“I hope you didn’t get the wrong idea.”
“Well, I was kinda surprised. And I didn’t expect you to be sleeping next to me.”
This conversation was making my stomach tingle a bit.
“You have a really tight grip you know.”
“I’m sorry...” I said.
Right then Frank passed by and made a face as if mocking Gerard when he was crying.
“Go fu** yourself Frank.”
“I rather fu** miss dark over here.” Frank gestured to me.”You know, strong grip, that’s what I like in girls.”
I scooted toward Gerard a bit. Gee noticed.
“If you do anything I don’t like with her, Frank, I swear you’ll wake up dead.”
“Ok ok, haven’t seen you this protective since you dated Eliza Cuts.” Frank left the room.
“Gerard...I don’t know if I should stay any longer...” I said quietly.
“Why? Because of the guys? They’re not as bad as they say they are.”
I got up and moved to the bedroom; Gerard followed and locked the door. I laid down on the bed and he laid down beside me, he flinched a bit as his legs came together. I laughed. He smiled. I curled up next to him but as I moved my hand on his chest he sucked his teeth. That’s when I knew I hurt him before during my nightmare. I lifted up his shirt and I found bruises all over his chest. And even some bleeding cuts, I gasped.
“I did that.” It wasn’t a question, it was a statement.
“I didn’t want you to worry...its okay, really!”
“No it’s not Gerard! What if I have another nightmare! I don’t want to hurt you!”
“I don’t care if it kills me if I sleep with you, Rose.”
I flinched at the words kills and me.
“What if it does? And if I hurt you so much, why didn’t you get up?”
“I wasn’t going to leave you there crying and screaming, love.”
I ran my hand lightly over his chest and he groaned.
“That hurts?”
He nodded, he didn’t look at me, but I could see the pain on his face. I suddenly understood the words “Love hurts”. I had been rough with him and held him to hard and this is what I got. I could see new tears forming in his eyes.
“You must really hate me.” I said.
“I could never hate you Black Beauty.”
“Stop that!”
“Stop what?”
“You’re trying to hold back your anger! Go ahead! Yell at me! Kick me out of the tour bus!”
“I’m not going to do that!”
“Why not?!”
“Because I’m not angry with you, it wasn’t your fault. I may not be able to do a few concerts but I’ll heal. I don’t care if I get hurt, I care if you do.”
I wiped away the tears that were streaming down his face.
“I don’t even want to know how bad it is down there.” Gestured to his private area.
“Actually, that’s what you were holding on to the most.” He smiled like he enjoyed it.
“I bet you’re afraid to get in a fight with me.”
“I’m even more afraid to have **x with you.”
I smiled.
“My affairs aren’t as rough.” I said.
I kissed him lightly on his lips, but I got too close and he jerked away. Gerard looked ashamed at himself. I sighed and turned my back toward him, silently I cried, not sobbing but it ran down my cheeks. I had been stupid; I couldn’t touch him now that I really wanted to.
“Gerard, I’m so sorry.”
“Love, you can touch me now if you really want to, I won’t stop you from that.”
I turned around.
“You’re crying.” He said.
Gee kissed my eyelids and squeezed me a bit and he yelped. This time I was the one to jerk back, but he held me again and tried to contain his pain. That was when he kissed me. He cried a little while he did so and he did some groans of pain not happiness, I kissed him back for three seconds then stopped but he kept kissing me, he made his way down my neck nibbling on it.
“Gerard stop!”
But he didn’t seem to hear me. His hand was now under my shirt and near my bra line.
“Gerard! GET OFF!”
I shoved him and he yelled loudly.
“I’m sorry, but you’re taking it too far.” I said.
“I couldn’t control myself, next time I will. You’re too amazing for me, love.”
Gee looked exited but when he saw I was upset his smile faded.
“Fine, you draw the line, as soon as I here the word stop from you I’ll stop.”
I nodded and headed toward the bathroom to clean up. All I knew was that I was never going to tell Nicole this.
I hesitated but finally gave in.
“Are you sure? I can sleep on the couch.” I said to him as I went into his room for bed.
“No, you sleep here, you’re my guest and I wouldn’t make you sleep on that thing.”
I shrugged and sat on the bed, it was the softest thing I ever felt.
“You can lock the door...you know...if it makes you more comfortable.” He said.
“Thanks.” I said.
Gee left and I locked the door. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust him; it was that I didn’t trust the other guys and I felt safer locking it. I sat on the bed again. It was funny I was sitting on the bed of a rock star without the rock star trying to do it with me. I laid down and closed my eyes.
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I couldn’t sleep; I was trying to sleep for an hour. I was curled up in a ball holding my knees. My body ached all over, if I was at my house I would have screamed but I was in My Chemical Romance’s tour bus and I didn’t want to wake Gerard up and get him worried or call 911, but there was worse, like waking Frank up and turning him on while he was stoned, not the best thing to do. I rolled out of the bed and looked at the clock, it read 3. Good. Still enough time to sleep.
But instead I unlocked the door and came outside of Gee’s room. I opened it slowly so Gee wouldn’t wake up. I silently made my way to the refrigerator for a lemon. They were all out. I groaned. I closed the fridge and turned around. I saw Gerard sleeping silently on the couch. He looked amazing sleeping I had to say. It was like peace had hit the world again, world peace. Light on my feet I made my way over to him. The moonlight from the window made him look even paler, which I thought was impossible. He was a perfect pale. His hair was even messier then usual and he had a black t-shirt on with pants that looked to long on him.
Gee looked like a perfect dark angel. And coming from me, that was pretty big. I couldn’t help myself. I slowly and carefully slid into his arms like butter. Gee didn’t snore but he was a heavy sleeper. I stared at him for about a half an hour. Gerard was beautiful. I cuddled next to him and my head ended up on his chest. That was how I fell asleep, but my dream was awful...
I was getting beat up again, but Gerard didn’t come at all, I was screaming and I could tell my lipstick and eyeliner was everywhere. I felt blood dripping from my mouth and from some places I didn’t need to talk about. I was clutching on to something but I didn’t know what. My screaming became ear splitting shrieks. I could just see the words GAME OVER in the distance as if my life was a trick or a game god had made because he was bored, as if my life meant nothing, I was going to die, and there was nothing I could do about it. I could here a voice though, it sounded like an angel.
“Rose? Rose! What are you doing! What’s wrong?”
He said it over and over...
I woke up screaming and crying, Gee looked scared, concerned, and shocked. The thing I was clutching on was his shirt. He was holding on to me tightly.
“Are you all right? What happened?” was what he asked in panicked voice.
I stopped screaming and crying realizing it was just a dream. I then realized all the guys were standing over me. Bob, Frank, Mikey, and Ray. They didn’t look drunk at all, well at least not anymore.
“It was...nothing.” I said, my voice shaking a bit.
“Don’t scare me like that Black Beauty.” Gerard said, calm and relived now.
His grip lessened and I let go of him. The guys realized they were crowding me and headed back to their rooms.
“They’ll introduce themselves later.” Gee whispered.
I looked at his watch; it was six in the morning. Then Gee spoke.
“Why did you join me on the couch anyway?”
“I couldn’t sleep.” I shrugged but the real reason was that I couldn’t hold myself back.
“So you come to sleep with me?”
I nodded playfully, as if I was a child.
He smiled. Gee’s hair was a lot messier then before, as if he got hit by a truck, I wondered why. I could see all the places I clutched onto during my nightmare by the wrinkles on his clothes, I noticed that I clutched in the wrong place. He saw me staring there and I blushed a bit.
“Sorry for...you know.” I said quietly.
He shrugged. “It didn’t hurt.”
But by the look on his face I knew that that was what really woke him up and that it REALLY hurt. I could see the dried up tears. I smiled and traced them.
“You know, if I didn’t know better I would have said that I liked it.” He whispered.
And once again I could see on his face that he kind of did like it.
“I hope you didn’t get the wrong idea.”
“Well, I was kinda surprised. And I didn’t expect you to be sleeping next to me.”
This conversation was making my stomach tingle a bit.
“You have a really tight grip you know.”
“I’m sorry...” I said.
Right then Frank passed by and made a face as if mocking Gerard when he was crying.
“Go fu** yourself Frank.”
“I rather fu** miss dark over here.” Frank gestured to me.”You know, strong grip, that’s what I like in girls.”
I scooted toward Gerard a bit. Gee noticed.
“If you do anything I don’t like with her, Frank, I swear you’ll wake up dead.”
“Ok ok, haven’t seen you this protective since you dated Eliza Cuts.” Frank left the room.
“Gerard...I don’t know if I should stay any longer...” I said quietly.
“Why? Because of the guys? They’re not as bad as they say they are.”
I got up and moved to the bedroom; Gerard followed and locked the door. I laid down on the bed and he laid down beside me, he flinched a bit as his legs came together. I laughed. He smiled. I curled up next to him but as I moved my hand on his chest he sucked his teeth. That’s when I knew I hurt him before during my nightmare. I lifted up his shirt and I found bruises all over his chest. And even some bleeding cuts, I gasped.
“I did that.” It wasn’t a question, it was a statement.
“I didn’t want you to worry...its okay, really!”
“No it’s not Gerard! What if I have another nightmare! I don’t want to hurt you!”
“I don’t care if it kills me if I sleep with you, Rose.”
I flinched at the words kills and me.
“What if it does? And if I hurt you so much, why didn’t you get up?”
“I wasn’t going to leave you there crying and screaming, love.”
I ran my hand lightly over his chest and he groaned.
“That hurts?”
He nodded, he didn’t look at me, but I could see the pain on his face. I suddenly understood the words “Love hurts”. I had been rough with him and held him to hard and this is what I got. I could see new tears forming in his eyes.
“You must really hate me.” I said.
“I could never hate you Black Beauty.”
“Stop that!”
“Stop what?”
“You’re trying to hold back your anger! Go ahead! Yell at me! Kick me out of the tour bus!”
“I’m not going to do that!”
“Why not?!”
“Because I’m not angry with you, it wasn’t your fault. I may not be able to do a few concerts but I’ll heal. I don’t care if I get hurt, I care if you do.”
I wiped away the tears that were streaming down his face.
“I don’t even want to know how bad it is down there.” Gestured to his private area.
“Actually, that’s what you were holding on to the most.” He smiled like he enjoyed it.
“I bet you’re afraid to get in a fight with me.”
“I’m even more afraid to have **x with you.”
I smiled.
“My affairs aren’t as rough.” I said.
I kissed him lightly on his lips, but I got too close and he jerked away. Gerard looked ashamed at himself. I sighed and turned my back toward him, silently I cried, not sobbing but it ran down my cheeks. I had been stupid; I couldn’t touch him now that I really wanted to.
“Gerard, I’m so sorry.”
“Love, you can touch me now if you really want to, I won’t stop you from that.”
I turned around.
“You’re crying.” He said.
Gee kissed my eyelids and squeezed me a bit and he yelped. This time I was the one to jerk back, but he held me again and tried to contain his pain. That was when he kissed me. He cried a little while he did so and he did some groans of pain not happiness, I kissed him back for three seconds then stopped but he kept kissing me, he made his way down my neck nibbling on it.
“Gerard stop!”
But he didn’t seem to hear me. His hand was now under my shirt and near my bra line.
“Gerard! GET OFF!”
I shoved him and he yelled loudly.
“I’m sorry, but you’re taking it too far.” I said.
“I couldn’t control myself, next time I will. You’re too amazing for me, love.”
Gee looked exited but when he saw I was upset his smile faded.
“Fine, you draw the line, as soon as I here the word stop from you I’ll stop.”
I nodded and headed toward the bathroom to clean up. All I knew was that I was never going to tell Nicole this.
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