FicWad

WAKE UP DAYDREAM


I'm lying on my bed with nothing better to do
All the thoughts of me and you
Are bringing on the next headache
Songs run through my head and float around my room
Till there's no room left for me to be
I don't know what to think about all of this
Because it's just so wrong
But I just can’t seem to help myself
So foolish
How can something be wrong when it feels so good

The volume won't go up anymore and the screaming fills the room
Chase away my thoughts but still
I'm so sick of
The volumes turned up all the way and the pain of words that aren't mine make me run


I crave your presence but it clouds my mind
I try to stay away but memories of that night swallow any common sense
I want to push out all the thoughts
Push myself away from what I want and push away everything that happened
But would there be any left of me
Anything at all
Not at all
And I'm so sick of


Wake up in the middle of the night after finally falling asleep
Wake up, run out, throw away, throw myself down on the floor and I'm so sick
The nausea competes with my thoughts for the dominant spot in my head

Lie on the bed looking up at the ceiling
The thoughts swirl above me
Like ghosts with sharp whispers and I can never tear my eyes away
Lie on the bed, face down and the distorted voices drift to the back of my head
And I suffocate, suffocate
Suffocate in the sheets that captured your scent

With you I forget how to mistrust
I forget how to be wary
I forget how to be careful
I forget who I am and who I was
What I am, who I am now

You're whole and perfect
You're the dream that makes me into the nightmare
So what do you want, what am I to you
But I don't open my mouth and it's you who asks me that question first
Catch me by surprise, take my breath away
You steal it and everything else and I'm gone

You are everything I never expected and you want everything I never expected
You make me lose myself to the point where I could never find myself anymore
Even if I decided to try but why would I, why would I
I forget and give in again
And I'm as vulnerable as ever
Probably the most dangerous thing to be when I'm around you
And I'm with you


And I wake up in the middle of the night
Wake up nightmare, sleep tight, sweet dreams
Wake up in the middle of the afternoon, wake up daydream
Wake up, jump up, run out, get out
A constricted space
And smoke fills the air..