Categories > TV > Sliders > No Jello
This is an old one. It's been up on slightlywarped.com and had a year-plus stint on fanfiction.net before they banned scriptfics there. It was posted under the name "Diana R. Flynn" and my old Prodigy email address. (Yes, that old.) It has undergone minor modification.
I got the idea for this story while walking home in April of 1997. I think I was on an oxygen high, a sugar high and car exhaust that day...
This was written during the Year of Hell, otherwise known as Sliders: Season Three.
STOP! DON'T SUE!
Quinn, Wade, Remmy and Maggie don't belong to me, yet I'm writing this little story anyway. I in no way wish to take the blame- uh, I mean the credit for creating them. Jello belongs to whoever came up with the idea to make a dessert food that bounces, but yogurt is for everyone.
This story has a PG rating for really really mild violence and one nasty word that's bleeped out anyway. Please don't make fun of me.
...Oh, and it's been called the most twisted thing I've ever written. (EDIT: Nine years later, I do hope I've managed to surpass it.)
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Remmy, Maggie, and Quinn are in the restaurant of their hotel, looking at a menu.
REMMY
And I thought people in the last world were controlfreaky! These hotels make you order all your meals in advance!
QBALL
To simplify things, I think we should choose the same dessert for each meal.
MAGGIE
Alright. The Jello looks good.
QBALL
Jello?! I wouldn't touch that slimy goop if I were starving. Let's go with the yogurt. I love yogurt.
REMMY
You know, Wade was telling me this morning how yogurt used to be one of her favorite foods.
QBALL
She was? I'll run upstairs and ask for her vote.
.
.
.
.
.
In the meantime, up in the hotel room:
WADE
Wade, you can't go on like this! All the mooning over Quinn! All the snags with Maggie! All the talking to yourself!
Enter Quinn.
WADE
Oh, uh... Hi Quinn. I was just thinking about a, uh, dilemma that concerns you.
QBALL
I know. I was just up here to talk to you about that.
WADE
You were?
QBALL
Yeah. Rembrandt told me how you feel.
WADE
He what?! I can't believe it! I mean it wasn't exactly a secret, but I wanted to tell you myself.
QBALL
Wade, relax! I feel the same way.
WADE
...you do?
QBALL
I always have.
WADE
But I thought you and Maggie...
QBALL
Maggie and I are just too different on too many things. I'm sorry, Wade, but I can't help loving yog-
WADE
Quinn! I love you too! (jumps up and plants a smooch on his lips)
Enter Rembrant
REMMY
Whoa! Somebody lose a pair of tonsils?
WADE
Oops! Sorry, Remmy. I guess we should have locked the door. See you, Quinn (exits with big smile.)
QBALL
(blinking) What just happened?
REMMY
You think I know? I guess Wade takes her desserts more seriously than we thought.
Enter Maggie.
MAGGIE
HIYAH! (Slugs Quinn in the jaw)
REMMY
Hey! Hold it, girl!
MAGGIE
(Not hearing him.) That was for what you said about Jello!
QBALL
(Semiconscious gurgle)
MAGGIE
I happen to know that Jello is... (pauses, staring at her hand) Why is Wade's lipstick on my fist?!
REMMY
Could be from when you hit her this morning for calling you "Ramboette."
QBALL
Look at all the pretty lights...
MAGGIE
You lying son of a b----! You told me that you and Wade were just friends!
QBALL
(Regaining partial consciousness) Oh no. You're going to pound me to a bloody pulp now, aren't you?
MAGGIE
Don't try to sweet-talk your way out of this!
QBALL
No, really! I can explain! I-
MAGGIE
Did you think I wouldn't find out?! YOU'VE BEEN TRYING ON WADE'S LIPSTICK!
QBALL
Um... (seeing temporary alternative to life as a gory bean bag) yes. Yes I was. And I'm so ashamed! Do you think this shade is too dark for me?
REMMY
That's it. I'm out of here. Call me when I stop hallucinating. (Exits.)
MAGGIE
Actually, it looks rather good with your complexion, but the matte finish just isn't you. Have you tried "smoky coral"?
QBALL
Maybe later. I think I'll pass out now.
MAGGIE
Okay. I'll go find some locals to beat up. Catch ya later.
QBALL
Great! Why don't the four of us go out for Jello? (faints)
MAGGIE
(exits)
THE END
.
.
.
.
.
No Jello was harmed in the making of this skit.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
So what did you think? Criticism, and comments short of death threats are welcomed in the form of reviews.
I got the idea for this story while walking home in April of 1997. I think I was on an oxygen high, a sugar high and car exhaust that day...
This was written during the Year of Hell, otherwise known as Sliders: Season Three.
STOP! DON'T SUE!
Quinn, Wade, Remmy and Maggie don't belong to me, yet I'm writing this little story anyway. I in no way wish to take the blame- uh, I mean the credit for creating them. Jello belongs to whoever came up with the idea to make a dessert food that bounces, but yogurt is for everyone.
This story has a PG rating for really really mild violence and one nasty word that's bleeped out anyway. Please don't make fun of me.
...Oh, and it's been called the most twisted thing I've ever written. (EDIT: Nine years later, I do hope I've managed to surpass it.)
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Remmy, Maggie, and Quinn are in the restaurant of their hotel, looking at a menu.
REMMY
And I thought people in the last world were controlfreaky! These hotels make you order all your meals in advance!
QBALL
To simplify things, I think we should choose the same dessert for each meal.
MAGGIE
Alright. The Jello looks good.
QBALL
Jello?! I wouldn't touch that slimy goop if I were starving. Let's go with the yogurt. I love yogurt.
REMMY
You know, Wade was telling me this morning how yogurt used to be one of her favorite foods.
QBALL
She was? I'll run upstairs and ask for her vote.
.
.
.
.
.
In the meantime, up in the hotel room:
WADE
Wade, you can't go on like this! All the mooning over Quinn! All the snags with Maggie! All the talking to yourself!
Enter Quinn.
WADE
Oh, uh... Hi Quinn. I was just thinking about a, uh, dilemma that concerns you.
QBALL
I know. I was just up here to talk to you about that.
WADE
You were?
QBALL
Yeah. Rembrandt told me how you feel.
WADE
He what?! I can't believe it! I mean it wasn't exactly a secret, but I wanted to tell you myself.
QBALL
Wade, relax! I feel the same way.
WADE
...you do?
QBALL
I always have.
WADE
But I thought you and Maggie...
QBALL
Maggie and I are just too different on too many things. I'm sorry, Wade, but I can't help loving yog-
WADE
Quinn! I love you too! (jumps up and plants a smooch on his lips)
Enter Rembrant
REMMY
Whoa! Somebody lose a pair of tonsils?
WADE
Oops! Sorry, Remmy. I guess we should have locked the door. See you, Quinn (exits with big smile.)
QBALL
(blinking) What just happened?
REMMY
You think I know? I guess Wade takes her desserts more seriously than we thought.
Enter Maggie.
MAGGIE
HIYAH! (Slugs Quinn in the jaw)
REMMY
Hey! Hold it, girl!
MAGGIE
(Not hearing him.) That was for what you said about Jello!
QBALL
(Semiconscious gurgle)
MAGGIE
I happen to know that Jello is... (pauses, staring at her hand) Why is Wade's lipstick on my fist?!
REMMY
Could be from when you hit her this morning for calling you "Ramboette."
QBALL
Look at all the pretty lights...
MAGGIE
You lying son of a b----! You told me that you and Wade were just friends!
QBALL
(Regaining partial consciousness) Oh no. You're going to pound me to a bloody pulp now, aren't you?
MAGGIE
Don't try to sweet-talk your way out of this!
QBALL
No, really! I can explain! I-
MAGGIE
Did you think I wouldn't find out?! YOU'VE BEEN TRYING ON WADE'S LIPSTICK!
QBALL
Um... (seeing temporary alternative to life as a gory bean bag) yes. Yes I was. And I'm so ashamed! Do you think this shade is too dark for me?
REMMY
That's it. I'm out of here. Call me when I stop hallucinating. (Exits.)
MAGGIE
Actually, it looks rather good with your complexion, but the matte finish just isn't you. Have you tried "smoky coral"?
QBALL
Maybe later. I think I'll pass out now.
MAGGIE
Okay. I'll go find some locals to beat up. Catch ya later.
QBALL
Great! Why don't the four of us go out for Jello? (faints)
MAGGIE
(exits)
THE END
.
.
.
.
.
No Jello was harmed in the making of this skit.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
So what did you think? Criticism, and comments short of death threats are welcomed in the form of reviews.
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