Categories > TV > Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Who's Raison d'Etre?
1 reviewTwo potentials try and find out what it means to be a slayer.
1Insightful
Title: Who's Raison D'Etre?
Author: LillianMorgan
Setting: nebulously between BtVS Season 7 episodes Potential and /The Killer in Me/. One line and a few phrases taken from /Potential/.
Pairing: Amanda/Kennedy
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own Joss' or ME's toys.
Who's Raison D'Etre?
In the days after the day that kinda changed her whole life, Amanda decided that she needed to go fact-finding. It was all very well to be called a Potential, but, in order to do whatever it was that a Potential did, you kinda needed to know exactly what one was in the first place.
And yeah it was a major change in her life. First finding out that vampires really existed, then thrusting a broken flagpole into one vampire's heart and watching it turn to dust around her. And, despite the fact that she still had to go to school, got teased by Melody Brindall for being in Swing Choir and would never understand Calc. Buffy - she was the Slayer and majorly in charge - said without any warning that Amanda would have to leave home and stay at Revello Drive. Which was kinda cool in a prolonged sleep-out kinda way, only she figured that sooner or later she might miss her parents. And her pet iguana, Nate.
Amanda decided that Buffy might be the best person to ask about this whole Slayer gig, except that she kinda frightened her what with the whole speech-giving and their earlier run-in in the counsellor's office. She'd figured she could corner her in one of the hallways and ask her about it, but the moment she did Buffy got all wide-eyed and annoyed and muttered, "Not here," and Amanda lost all nerve to ask her again.
So she moved onto her next target who was the red-headed girl, Willow. She was nice enough but tilted her head at Amanda and said, "Why don't you ask Giles? He's a Watcher. He's probably got some books that would help you."
But Amanda shuddered at that because there was the whole Chao-An thing, and Amanda sometimes had to stand next to her in training and Chao-An got majorly wigged any time any one made a downward motion on her head. So Amanda thought, not Giles thanks. And definitely not his placards.
There was always Dawn, who Amanda wanted to call her friend but kinda felt a distance there between them which she didn't really understand but overwhelmed her, nevertheless, whenever Dawn avoided her eyes or didn't answer her questions on first attempt of asking. There was also the girl in the funny hats, but her Grams had always said 'Judge a person by how they wear their hats,' and so to avoid the thought of Grams spinning in her grave, she didn't ask her.
That left the guys which would require a bit more courage than asking any of the girls. The weird one that never really spoke to anyone, but had neon white hair and kinda skulked. Yeah, that was the word: skulked. There were already whispers amongst the other potentials about him, but Amanda didn't know the girls well enough not to believe them.
There was also the Carpenter guy who never seemed to be around when Amanda was, she thought he worked, or something. So that left the short blonde-haired guy.
And what a mistake that was. Two hours later, the tales of the vampyres were whirling around her head and she didn't think this whole Potential thing was worth any of the death, mayhem and carnage. Especially not hers.
Slowly, she made her way out to the backyard, as the sun started to wane in the sky, to escape everything that meant Slayers and Demons and Potentials and Vampires and just find some peace and quiet at the end of the garden and just be. And, maybe, plan how she could run away too.
Instead, she found Kennedy.
Kennedy was everything Amanda was not. She was older and brassier and dressed like she meant it. She was shorter which meant less ganglier. Her hair was lustrous and Amanda doubted she ever had split ends. Her teeth were perfect too. But the worst of it was that she knew complicated stuff that required obscure words to explain it, about being a Slayer. And in that moment, Amanda felt close to hating her.
Kennedy looked up from the book she was reading, and said, "Looking for a place to escape too?"
"Maybe," Amanda harrumphed onto the stone seat beside her. Escaping was all very well and good as long as there weren't two of you doing it. Witnesses weren't really in the plan.
"Gets really overwhelming in there doesn't it?" asked Kennedy, nodding her head toward the house. Then added, "And I can't stand Buffy."
Amanda felt her loyalties twist and turn. It wasn't that she hated Buffy, she couldn't after all, she was the Slayer, but it was more like ... Buffy had been kind to her, that was for sure, but Buffy was also the whole point of this mess. The whole point of her imminent death, if she believed Andrew. Or, whatever.
Kennedy slit her eyes at Amanda, and suggested quietly, "Having deep thoughts?"
"Maybe," Amanda acquiesced. "Maybe not." Then, "Do you think we're all going to die?"
"Oh my god, what kind of question is that?"
"Don't you think about it?"
"I try to avoid it." Sighing, Kennedy placed her thumb in the book and faced Amanda with a full on glare. "So, yeah, you've got your panties in a twist over something. What is it?"
"My panties are very well, thank you for asking," Amanda replied, indignant.
"I bet they are. I bet they're prim and proper and probably've got hearts and care bears all over them." When Amanda didn't react in the way Kennedy wanted her to, she added, "Or days of the week."
Amanda's resultant blush told all, as did Kennedy's answering giggle.
"Don't tell me. You wear your Monday panties on Monday and your Tuesday panties on Tuesday and your -"
"Stop it!" Amanda ordered. "I know what you're doing. You're totally avoiding the subject." She turned toward her and said in her most sneering tone, "I wasn't born yesterday you know."
"Oh but you were," Kennedy countered. "Yup, you were. You're young and scared and have no clue what it means to be a Slayer."
Amanda felt her ire rising. "And you do?"
"More than you."
"So do your sisterly duty," the words dripping with all the sarcasm Amanda had at her disposal, "and tell me about it."
"Why should I when we're all gonna die?" Kennedy replied, blitheness filling her voice.
"Oh my god, you're so infuriating," said Amanda, leaping to her feet.
"Sit down. Calmes-toi, calmes-toi." At Amanda's expression of 'huh?', Kennedy explained, "It's French. I learnt it ... at ... school."
"We have totally different schools then," Amanda thought out loud, and sat down.
"So what do you want to know about Slayers then?"
"Well, why don't you tell me what you know?"
"Only a feeling I get, I suppose," Kennedy began, her voice speeding with intensity, "like all the world is your oyster and you have these superpowers that make you wicked strong and wicked fast. And you can kill as many vampires as you want. I mean, you should know, you've taken a vampire out on your own. But we've both felt it, right? What did you call it? A charge, a rush."
Amanda reiterated, "Yeah, I get that. You realize in one instant that your whole life is different."
Kennedy smiled disarmingly and continued, "From what my Watcher told me, before he died, it's like you're power ... personified."
As Kennedy went on, Amanda wondered about being the Slayer. A Slayer. One girl in all the world who ...
Amanda halted her thoughts. Kennedy was looking at her in a different way, with this weird kinda rosy blush on her cheeks and before she knew it Kennedy was brushing her lips against hers. The smell of watermelon gloss raced up Amanda's nose and her body went stock-still.
Minutes or seconds later, Amanda had no clue which one it was, Kennedy pulled away and looked at her.
"That's being a Slayer too?" Amanda whispered, but didn't add that it hadn't felt very empowering to her when someone places their lips on hers without a yes or a no. It had felt soft and slippery and very watermelony.
"For some of us," Kennedy said, enigmatically. She stood up and looked down at Amanda for a moment then walked back to the house.
Amanda shook her head but chose to remain in the garden 'til the sun sank from the sky. Someone called to her from the back door then and warned of being outside in the dark alone. She stood up and brushed her trousers down, before loping the steps it took her to return to the house. Being a Potential was much more complicated than she'd ever expected.
Finis
Author: LillianMorgan
Setting: nebulously between BtVS Season 7 episodes Potential and /The Killer in Me/. One line and a few phrases taken from /Potential/.
Pairing: Amanda/Kennedy
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own Joss' or ME's toys.
Who's Raison D'Etre?
In the days after the day that kinda changed her whole life, Amanda decided that she needed to go fact-finding. It was all very well to be called a Potential, but, in order to do whatever it was that a Potential did, you kinda needed to know exactly what one was in the first place.
And yeah it was a major change in her life. First finding out that vampires really existed, then thrusting a broken flagpole into one vampire's heart and watching it turn to dust around her. And, despite the fact that she still had to go to school, got teased by Melody Brindall for being in Swing Choir and would never understand Calc. Buffy - she was the Slayer and majorly in charge - said without any warning that Amanda would have to leave home and stay at Revello Drive. Which was kinda cool in a prolonged sleep-out kinda way, only she figured that sooner or later she might miss her parents. And her pet iguana, Nate.
Amanda decided that Buffy might be the best person to ask about this whole Slayer gig, except that she kinda frightened her what with the whole speech-giving and their earlier run-in in the counsellor's office. She'd figured she could corner her in one of the hallways and ask her about it, but the moment she did Buffy got all wide-eyed and annoyed and muttered, "Not here," and Amanda lost all nerve to ask her again.
So she moved onto her next target who was the red-headed girl, Willow. She was nice enough but tilted her head at Amanda and said, "Why don't you ask Giles? He's a Watcher. He's probably got some books that would help you."
But Amanda shuddered at that because there was the whole Chao-An thing, and Amanda sometimes had to stand next to her in training and Chao-An got majorly wigged any time any one made a downward motion on her head. So Amanda thought, not Giles thanks. And definitely not his placards.
There was always Dawn, who Amanda wanted to call her friend but kinda felt a distance there between them which she didn't really understand but overwhelmed her, nevertheless, whenever Dawn avoided her eyes or didn't answer her questions on first attempt of asking. There was also the girl in the funny hats, but her Grams had always said 'Judge a person by how they wear their hats,' and so to avoid the thought of Grams spinning in her grave, she didn't ask her.
That left the guys which would require a bit more courage than asking any of the girls. The weird one that never really spoke to anyone, but had neon white hair and kinda skulked. Yeah, that was the word: skulked. There were already whispers amongst the other potentials about him, but Amanda didn't know the girls well enough not to believe them.
There was also the Carpenter guy who never seemed to be around when Amanda was, she thought he worked, or something. So that left the short blonde-haired guy.
And what a mistake that was. Two hours later, the tales of the vampyres were whirling around her head and she didn't think this whole Potential thing was worth any of the death, mayhem and carnage. Especially not hers.
Slowly, she made her way out to the backyard, as the sun started to wane in the sky, to escape everything that meant Slayers and Demons and Potentials and Vampires and just find some peace and quiet at the end of the garden and just be. And, maybe, plan how she could run away too.
Instead, she found Kennedy.
Kennedy was everything Amanda was not. She was older and brassier and dressed like she meant it. She was shorter which meant less ganglier. Her hair was lustrous and Amanda doubted she ever had split ends. Her teeth were perfect too. But the worst of it was that she knew complicated stuff that required obscure words to explain it, about being a Slayer. And in that moment, Amanda felt close to hating her.
Kennedy looked up from the book she was reading, and said, "Looking for a place to escape too?"
"Maybe," Amanda harrumphed onto the stone seat beside her. Escaping was all very well and good as long as there weren't two of you doing it. Witnesses weren't really in the plan.
"Gets really overwhelming in there doesn't it?" asked Kennedy, nodding her head toward the house. Then added, "And I can't stand Buffy."
Amanda felt her loyalties twist and turn. It wasn't that she hated Buffy, she couldn't after all, she was the Slayer, but it was more like ... Buffy had been kind to her, that was for sure, but Buffy was also the whole point of this mess. The whole point of her imminent death, if she believed Andrew. Or, whatever.
Kennedy slit her eyes at Amanda, and suggested quietly, "Having deep thoughts?"
"Maybe," Amanda acquiesced. "Maybe not." Then, "Do you think we're all going to die?"
"Oh my god, what kind of question is that?"
"Don't you think about it?"
"I try to avoid it." Sighing, Kennedy placed her thumb in the book and faced Amanda with a full on glare. "So, yeah, you've got your panties in a twist over something. What is it?"
"My panties are very well, thank you for asking," Amanda replied, indignant.
"I bet they are. I bet they're prim and proper and probably've got hearts and care bears all over them." When Amanda didn't react in the way Kennedy wanted her to, she added, "Or days of the week."
Amanda's resultant blush told all, as did Kennedy's answering giggle.
"Don't tell me. You wear your Monday panties on Monday and your Tuesday panties on Tuesday and your -"
"Stop it!" Amanda ordered. "I know what you're doing. You're totally avoiding the subject." She turned toward her and said in her most sneering tone, "I wasn't born yesterday you know."
"Oh but you were," Kennedy countered. "Yup, you were. You're young and scared and have no clue what it means to be a Slayer."
Amanda felt her ire rising. "And you do?"
"More than you."
"So do your sisterly duty," the words dripping with all the sarcasm Amanda had at her disposal, "and tell me about it."
"Why should I when we're all gonna die?" Kennedy replied, blitheness filling her voice.
"Oh my god, you're so infuriating," said Amanda, leaping to her feet.
"Sit down. Calmes-toi, calmes-toi." At Amanda's expression of 'huh?', Kennedy explained, "It's French. I learnt it ... at ... school."
"We have totally different schools then," Amanda thought out loud, and sat down.
"So what do you want to know about Slayers then?"
"Well, why don't you tell me what you know?"
"Only a feeling I get, I suppose," Kennedy began, her voice speeding with intensity, "like all the world is your oyster and you have these superpowers that make you wicked strong and wicked fast. And you can kill as many vampires as you want. I mean, you should know, you've taken a vampire out on your own. But we've both felt it, right? What did you call it? A charge, a rush."
Amanda reiterated, "Yeah, I get that. You realize in one instant that your whole life is different."
Kennedy smiled disarmingly and continued, "From what my Watcher told me, before he died, it's like you're power ... personified."
As Kennedy went on, Amanda wondered about being the Slayer. A Slayer. One girl in all the world who ...
Amanda halted her thoughts. Kennedy was looking at her in a different way, with this weird kinda rosy blush on her cheeks and before she knew it Kennedy was brushing her lips against hers. The smell of watermelon gloss raced up Amanda's nose and her body went stock-still.
Minutes or seconds later, Amanda had no clue which one it was, Kennedy pulled away and looked at her.
"That's being a Slayer too?" Amanda whispered, but didn't add that it hadn't felt very empowering to her when someone places their lips on hers without a yes or a no. It had felt soft and slippery and very watermelony.
"For some of us," Kennedy said, enigmatically. She stood up and looked down at Amanda for a moment then walked back to the house.
Amanda shook her head but chose to remain in the garden 'til the sun sank from the sky. Someone called to her from the back door then and warned of being outside in the dark alone. She stood up and brushed her trousers down, before loping the steps it took her to return to the house. Being a Potential was much more complicated than she'd ever expected.
Finis
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