Categories > Celebrities > Guns n' Roses
Guns n' babies
3 reviewswhen GN'R get truned into little kids again, Duff is the only one who can look after them, but being Daddy is harder then he thought. this is only part 1 and part 2 is coming soon.
3Funny
Guns N’ Babies
Guns N’ Roses where practicing in the rehearsal studio, but some of the electrical equipment was damaged by rats so some of the sound wasn’t too good. They where getting really annoyed ‘cause of that and Duff had had just about enough.
Duff: this is stupid! What’s the point doin’ this when nothin’s workin’?
He walked out and down the hall. Meanwhile outside a thunder and lighting storm was taking place and half the town had lost their electricity. The thunder rumbled and lightning struck the side of the rehearsal studio, causing all the electrical equipment to spark, sending static around the room and somehow affect the stunned band members. Hearing the screams of his friends, Duff ran back towards the room only to see them all lying on the floor as toddlers!
Duff: what the **! What just happened?!
Steven started to cry.
Duff: oh great! That’s just what I need! Steven crying!
He gathered them up the sat them on a sofa, trying to make sure none of them were injured. That’s when he noticed that Slash and Izzy still had they’re cigarettes. He snatched them away from them followed by the two having coughing fits.
Slash: gimme that!
Duff was shocked to hear his voice so high.
Duff: no. You’re too young. I guess I better get you back to my flat.
He somehow managed to pick them all up and take them back to his car. Driving home Axl saw an ice cream parlour.
Axl: I want ice cream!
Duff: maybe later. Now, I’ve gotta sort out this problem.
Axl: I said I WANT ICE CREAM!
Duff: I said NO!
Axl started to cry.
Axl: but I said wanted it!
Izzy: hello!
Duff: hello Izzy.
Izzy: I was talking to that dog over there!
Hearing that the four toddlers gathered around Izzy’s window and stared.
Steven: lets throw food for it!
Duff: no. The traffic lights have changed now so we’re going. Also, where would you find food?
Steven: found some in these little cardboard boxes!
He handed them to Slash, Axl and Izzy who threw them out the window and the dog chewed them up and was immediately sick after.
Duff: (seeing the angry owner in his mirror as they drove away) what was in those boxes?
Izzy: The thingies you took of slash and me! There were loads of boxes full of them!
Duff: **! My cigarettes! Oops! Don’t say the word I just said!
Steven: ok! We wont say cigarettes!
Duff: no. The word before that!
Axl: what? MY?
Duff: no. Before that. But don’t say it.
There was silence for a moment or two until Axl broke it.
Axl: STEVEN MOVE OVER!
Steven: no! Tell Izzy or Slash to!
Slash: I’m squashed up as it is!
Izzy: so am I!
They all started punching each other and then started fighting
Duff: oh god. They’re worse now than they where as adults!
The fighting continued for the rest of the journey home. When they where finally there Duff saw that Slash had a black eye.
Duff: does that hurt?
Slash: (trying to hold back tears) no … not … really…
Steven lightly touched his eye and then Slash burst out crying
Axl: so much for it not hurting! I think I did pretty well!
Duff: you did that?!
Axl: yeah, he called me a girl.
Duff: so you gave him a black eye. If you wanted more room in the back you could have just taken the carrier bag off the seat.
Izzy: none of us wanted to touch it ‘cause Steven got travel sick and up-chucked in the bag!
Duff: WHAT?! MY NEW JEANS WHERE IN THERE!
Steven: sorry.
Duff: its ok. Just all of you, get in the flat.
After dinner
Duff and Izzy where watching T.V. and Slash, Axl and Steven where nowhere to be seen.
Duff: what’s it like being small again?
Izzy: what do you mean? I’ve always been small.
Duff: you don’t remember being a rock star?
Izzy: no. But I do remember watching a movie with one in. he was singing about a giant peanut in a wizard suit.
Duff: Spongebob Squarepants is not a rock star.
Axl came in and sat down on the sofa next to Izzy and he had a tea cosy on his head.
Duff: why do you have a tea cosy on your head?
Axl: me, Steven and Slash were trying to make a hole in your bedroom wall so we put tea cosies on our heads. Steven head butted the wall and fell back and elbowed Slash in his black eye and now they’re both crying and I told them to shut up but they wouldn’t so I came in here.
Izzy: you should have told me to come!
Axl: you where too busy watching Spongebob.
Duff: and you where trying to make a hole why?
Axl: we trashed your kitchen, broke the strings on your bass and then we got board.
Duff: YOU WHAT?! Oh, its 9:00pm so I think you should go to bed.
Axl: NO!
After 10 minuets of arguing with Axl Duff finally got them all in one bed. Slash, Steven and Izzy where already asleep and Axl was drifting off. Duff walked back into the lounge and turned the T.V. on and collapsed on the sofa.
Duff: this is harder than I thought.
Next day
They where just walking into a store when Axl and Steven ran off.
Duff: at least you two stayed.
Izzy: WE know how to behave, don’t we Slash.
Slash had stolen one of Duff’s cigarettes and was trying to smoke it with out lighting it.
Duff: gimme that Slash. What did I tell you yesterday?
Slash: I’m too young.
Izzy: I guess I’m the only one who knows how to behave.
There was a loud crashing sound and glass braking. Security guards ran past.
Izzy: what was that?
Slash: super atomic alien monkeys on motorbikes?!
Izzy: COOL!
A security guard came past dragging Axl and Steven covered in tomato pasta sauce. Axl pointed over to Duff and the guard come over.
SG (security guard): are these kids yours?
Duff: uhh, yeah.
SG: well do you know what they just did?
Duff: I don’t really want to know….
SG: they stole an old lady’s trolley and rode it down an isle and straight into a stack of pasta sauce, and replacing it all will cost hundreds.
Duff: so you want me to pay?
SG: no. I’m gonna ban these two from the store for life!
Duff: ok. Lemme just get what we need and they’ll never set foot in this store again.
SG: ok. But if you ask me they could do with a spanking!
Slash ran behind Axl and slapped him hard.
Slash: done!
Steven started to snigger and then Slash slapped him as well.
Slash: done again!
On the way home
Driving in the car was hard for Axl as he’d always get board, but this time he was sulking and was jealous because Slash and Izzy had magazines. Steven didn’t really mind because he was enjoying licking off the pasta sauce. Izzy had the Spongebob comic and Slash was reading classic rock mag. well, he wasn’t really reading it, just looking at the pictures.
Axl: why do THEY get magazines?
Duff: because THEY didn’t run off and get banned from a store for life!
Slash poked Izzy on the shoulder and pointed at his mag and Izzy looked at the picture.
Izzy: is that Duff? Who’s the other people he’s with?
Slash: (reading the names) Du-ff, A-xl, St-ev-en, Sl-as-h, Iz-zy. Wow it’s our names!
Izzy: that defiantly is Duff, but who are the other guys?
Duff: that’s you. When you’re older.
Slash: but how come you look just like you do now? Wouldn’t you be an old man?
Duff: that was taken last week before this all happened.
Izzy: what happened?
Duff: I’ll tell you later.
Slash: so this is a magazine from the future! Wow! I wonder if it was sent to earth by giant out of space kangaroos with guns?!
Duff: you have an overactive imagination!
Izzy: slash; do you want a Spongebob sticker?
Slash: ok!
He stuck it over the face of Axl in his magazine
Izzy: Axl, Steven, do you want one?
Steven: sure, ok.
Axl: keep them goodie two shoes! I don’t want any of your stuff ever!
Izzy: more for us then! Duff, do you want one?
Duff: go on then.
He stuck it on the gear stick.
Duff: did you get anything free with your mag Slash?
Slash: a packet of guitar strings.
Duff: they will come in use full after we sort out this problem.
Steven: hey look! It’s that dog we gave to food to yesterday!
Izzy: why is it lying down and not moving?
Duff: um, it’s sleeping!
Axl: don’t be stupid. It’s not sleeping it’s DEAD!
Steven: …dead…?
Axl: yeah, DEAD. Gone to heaven or gone to hell!
Steven burst out crying and Duff sped up the car.
Duff: thanks a lot Axl. I only said it was sleeping ‘cause I knew it would upset Steven!
Steven: …rest in peace doggie….
Duff: see what I mean?
At home
By now Izzy was covered from head to toe in Spongebob stickers and Slash was tangled up in the guitar strings. Steven had stopped crying now and continued to like off the sauce and Axl was really stroppy.
Slash: duff, can I put this poster of AC/DC up?
Duff: yeah, sure. What did you do with the strings?
Slash: I threw them out your bedroom window.
Duff: why?
Slash: ‘cause they’re all broken now.
Duff: how did you manage to break them all?
Slash: with the pliers!
Steven: what’s this?
Duff: electronic bass tuner.
Steven: tuna eh?
Duff: no, TUNER not TUNA.
Steven: yum, I love tuna!
He put the small black box between 2 slices of bread and bit it.
Steven: this doesn’t taste like tuna.
Duff: stop eating that! How could you bite through that anyway?
Steven: like this!
Duff heard a loud crunching sound and then Steven chewing.
Duff: you’re not human.
Steven: I feel sick now.
Duff: well duh! You just ate a bass tuner!
Duff was freaked out by Steven and went into the lounge where Izzy was watching Spongebob and Axl was looking at a T.V. guide.
Axl: hey Izzy, put this show on.
Izzy: what show?
Axl: I don’t know, but it has a vampire, mouse and an explosion in!
Izzy: but Spongebob’s on!
Duff: here Axl, have this sweet I found. That should keep you quiet.
Axl: thanks.
10 minutes later
Axl: SUGAR! SUGAR! SUGAR! GIMME SUGAR!
Duff: no more sugar! You’re going out side to calm down.
Duff pushed Axl out the back door of the apartment building and went back upstairs. Slash, a Spongebob sticker covered Izzy and a Sick Steven watched him run around madly outside.
Steven: this is better than a movie!
Slash: yeah, what if he did that in a clown suit?!
Izzy: you do have a … what ever Duff said!
Steven: what, the tuna thing?
Izzy: I still can’t believe you ate that thing!
Slash: hey Steven, I dare you to jump out this window!
Steven: ok!
Duff: don’t you dare!
Steven: ok.
Izzy: is that all you say?
Duff: now we’ve got rid of Axl for a while what do you want to do?
Izzy: watch Spongebob!
Slash: kill people!
Steven: get a puppy!
Duff: kill people? Who do you want to kill?
Slash: well, it was me who shot Kennedy, and I am Clyde from Bonny and Clyde!
Duff: your crazy.
Slash: thank you!
The door to the flat opened and Axl walked in.
Axl: I have a headache.
Duff: you had a sugar rush.
Izzy: and the gardens destroyed!
Duff: **! The old lady downstairs is gonna kill me!
THE END!
PART 2 COMING SOON!
Guns N’ Roses where practicing in the rehearsal studio, but some of the electrical equipment was damaged by rats so some of the sound wasn’t too good. They where getting really annoyed ‘cause of that and Duff had had just about enough.
Duff: this is stupid! What’s the point doin’ this when nothin’s workin’?
He walked out and down the hall. Meanwhile outside a thunder and lighting storm was taking place and half the town had lost their electricity. The thunder rumbled and lightning struck the side of the rehearsal studio, causing all the electrical equipment to spark, sending static around the room and somehow affect the stunned band members. Hearing the screams of his friends, Duff ran back towards the room only to see them all lying on the floor as toddlers!
Duff: what the **! What just happened?!
Steven started to cry.
Duff: oh great! That’s just what I need! Steven crying!
He gathered them up the sat them on a sofa, trying to make sure none of them were injured. That’s when he noticed that Slash and Izzy still had they’re cigarettes. He snatched them away from them followed by the two having coughing fits.
Slash: gimme that!
Duff was shocked to hear his voice so high.
Duff: no. You’re too young. I guess I better get you back to my flat.
He somehow managed to pick them all up and take them back to his car. Driving home Axl saw an ice cream parlour.
Axl: I want ice cream!
Duff: maybe later. Now, I’ve gotta sort out this problem.
Axl: I said I WANT ICE CREAM!
Duff: I said NO!
Axl started to cry.
Axl: but I said wanted it!
Izzy: hello!
Duff: hello Izzy.
Izzy: I was talking to that dog over there!
Hearing that the four toddlers gathered around Izzy’s window and stared.
Steven: lets throw food for it!
Duff: no. The traffic lights have changed now so we’re going. Also, where would you find food?
Steven: found some in these little cardboard boxes!
He handed them to Slash, Axl and Izzy who threw them out the window and the dog chewed them up and was immediately sick after.
Duff: (seeing the angry owner in his mirror as they drove away) what was in those boxes?
Izzy: The thingies you took of slash and me! There were loads of boxes full of them!
Duff: **! My cigarettes! Oops! Don’t say the word I just said!
Steven: ok! We wont say cigarettes!
Duff: no. The word before that!
Axl: what? MY?
Duff: no. Before that. But don’t say it.
There was silence for a moment or two until Axl broke it.
Axl: STEVEN MOVE OVER!
Steven: no! Tell Izzy or Slash to!
Slash: I’m squashed up as it is!
Izzy: so am I!
They all started punching each other and then started fighting
Duff: oh god. They’re worse now than they where as adults!
The fighting continued for the rest of the journey home. When they where finally there Duff saw that Slash had a black eye.
Duff: does that hurt?
Slash: (trying to hold back tears) no … not … really…
Steven lightly touched his eye and then Slash burst out crying
Axl: so much for it not hurting! I think I did pretty well!
Duff: you did that?!
Axl: yeah, he called me a girl.
Duff: so you gave him a black eye. If you wanted more room in the back you could have just taken the carrier bag off the seat.
Izzy: none of us wanted to touch it ‘cause Steven got travel sick and up-chucked in the bag!
Duff: WHAT?! MY NEW JEANS WHERE IN THERE!
Steven: sorry.
Duff: its ok. Just all of you, get in the flat.
After dinner
Duff and Izzy where watching T.V. and Slash, Axl and Steven where nowhere to be seen.
Duff: what’s it like being small again?
Izzy: what do you mean? I’ve always been small.
Duff: you don’t remember being a rock star?
Izzy: no. But I do remember watching a movie with one in. he was singing about a giant peanut in a wizard suit.
Duff: Spongebob Squarepants is not a rock star.
Axl came in and sat down on the sofa next to Izzy and he had a tea cosy on his head.
Duff: why do you have a tea cosy on your head?
Axl: me, Steven and Slash were trying to make a hole in your bedroom wall so we put tea cosies on our heads. Steven head butted the wall and fell back and elbowed Slash in his black eye and now they’re both crying and I told them to shut up but they wouldn’t so I came in here.
Izzy: you should have told me to come!
Axl: you where too busy watching Spongebob.
Duff: and you where trying to make a hole why?
Axl: we trashed your kitchen, broke the strings on your bass and then we got board.
Duff: YOU WHAT?! Oh, its 9:00pm so I think you should go to bed.
Axl: NO!
After 10 minuets of arguing with Axl Duff finally got them all in one bed. Slash, Steven and Izzy where already asleep and Axl was drifting off. Duff walked back into the lounge and turned the T.V. on and collapsed on the sofa.
Duff: this is harder than I thought.
Next day
They where just walking into a store when Axl and Steven ran off.
Duff: at least you two stayed.
Izzy: WE know how to behave, don’t we Slash.
Slash had stolen one of Duff’s cigarettes and was trying to smoke it with out lighting it.
Duff: gimme that Slash. What did I tell you yesterday?
Slash: I’m too young.
Izzy: I guess I’m the only one who knows how to behave.
There was a loud crashing sound and glass braking. Security guards ran past.
Izzy: what was that?
Slash: super atomic alien monkeys on motorbikes?!
Izzy: COOL!
A security guard came past dragging Axl and Steven covered in tomato pasta sauce. Axl pointed over to Duff and the guard come over.
SG (security guard): are these kids yours?
Duff: uhh, yeah.
SG: well do you know what they just did?
Duff: I don’t really want to know….
SG: they stole an old lady’s trolley and rode it down an isle and straight into a stack of pasta sauce, and replacing it all will cost hundreds.
Duff: so you want me to pay?
SG: no. I’m gonna ban these two from the store for life!
Duff: ok. Lemme just get what we need and they’ll never set foot in this store again.
SG: ok. But if you ask me they could do with a spanking!
Slash ran behind Axl and slapped him hard.
Slash: done!
Steven started to snigger and then Slash slapped him as well.
Slash: done again!
On the way home
Driving in the car was hard for Axl as he’d always get board, but this time he was sulking and was jealous because Slash and Izzy had magazines. Steven didn’t really mind because he was enjoying licking off the pasta sauce. Izzy had the Spongebob comic and Slash was reading classic rock mag. well, he wasn’t really reading it, just looking at the pictures.
Axl: why do THEY get magazines?
Duff: because THEY didn’t run off and get banned from a store for life!
Slash poked Izzy on the shoulder and pointed at his mag and Izzy looked at the picture.
Izzy: is that Duff? Who’s the other people he’s with?
Slash: (reading the names) Du-ff, A-xl, St-ev-en, Sl-as-h, Iz-zy. Wow it’s our names!
Izzy: that defiantly is Duff, but who are the other guys?
Duff: that’s you. When you’re older.
Slash: but how come you look just like you do now? Wouldn’t you be an old man?
Duff: that was taken last week before this all happened.
Izzy: what happened?
Duff: I’ll tell you later.
Slash: so this is a magazine from the future! Wow! I wonder if it was sent to earth by giant out of space kangaroos with guns?!
Duff: you have an overactive imagination!
Izzy: slash; do you want a Spongebob sticker?
Slash: ok!
He stuck it over the face of Axl in his magazine
Izzy: Axl, Steven, do you want one?
Steven: sure, ok.
Axl: keep them goodie two shoes! I don’t want any of your stuff ever!
Izzy: more for us then! Duff, do you want one?
Duff: go on then.
He stuck it on the gear stick.
Duff: did you get anything free with your mag Slash?
Slash: a packet of guitar strings.
Duff: they will come in use full after we sort out this problem.
Steven: hey look! It’s that dog we gave to food to yesterday!
Izzy: why is it lying down and not moving?
Duff: um, it’s sleeping!
Axl: don’t be stupid. It’s not sleeping it’s DEAD!
Steven: …dead…?
Axl: yeah, DEAD. Gone to heaven or gone to hell!
Steven burst out crying and Duff sped up the car.
Duff: thanks a lot Axl. I only said it was sleeping ‘cause I knew it would upset Steven!
Steven: …rest in peace doggie….
Duff: see what I mean?
At home
By now Izzy was covered from head to toe in Spongebob stickers and Slash was tangled up in the guitar strings. Steven had stopped crying now and continued to like off the sauce and Axl was really stroppy.
Slash: duff, can I put this poster of AC/DC up?
Duff: yeah, sure. What did you do with the strings?
Slash: I threw them out your bedroom window.
Duff: why?
Slash: ‘cause they’re all broken now.
Duff: how did you manage to break them all?
Slash: with the pliers!
Steven: what’s this?
Duff: electronic bass tuner.
Steven: tuna eh?
Duff: no, TUNER not TUNA.
Steven: yum, I love tuna!
He put the small black box between 2 slices of bread and bit it.
Steven: this doesn’t taste like tuna.
Duff: stop eating that! How could you bite through that anyway?
Steven: like this!
Duff heard a loud crunching sound and then Steven chewing.
Duff: you’re not human.
Steven: I feel sick now.
Duff: well duh! You just ate a bass tuner!
Duff was freaked out by Steven and went into the lounge where Izzy was watching Spongebob and Axl was looking at a T.V. guide.
Axl: hey Izzy, put this show on.
Izzy: what show?
Axl: I don’t know, but it has a vampire, mouse and an explosion in!
Izzy: but Spongebob’s on!
Duff: here Axl, have this sweet I found. That should keep you quiet.
Axl: thanks.
10 minutes later
Axl: SUGAR! SUGAR! SUGAR! GIMME SUGAR!
Duff: no more sugar! You’re going out side to calm down.
Duff pushed Axl out the back door of the apartment building and went back upstairs. Slash, a Spongebob sticker covered Izzy and a Sick Steven watched him run around madly outside.
Steven: this is better than a movie!
Slash: yeah, what if he did that in a clown suit?!
Izzy: you do have a … what ever Duff said!
Steven: what, the tuna thing?
Izzy: I still can’t believe you ate that thing!
Slash: hey Steven, I dare you to jump out this window!
Steven: ok!
Duff: don’t you dare!
Steven: ok.
Izzy: is that all you say?
Duff: now we’ve got rid of Axl for a while what do you want to do?
Izzy: watch Spongebob!
Slash: kill people!
Steven: get a puppy!
Duff: kill people? Who do you want to kill?
Slash: well, it was me who shot Kennedy, and I am Clyde from Bonny and Clyde!
Duff: your crazy.
Slash: thank you!
The door to the flat opened and Axl walked in.
Axl: I have a headache.
Duff: you had a sugar rush.
Izzy: and the gardens destroyed!
Duff: **! The old lady downstairs is gonna kill me!
THE END!
PART 2 COMING SOON!
Sign up to rate and review this story