Categories > Celebrities > Guns n' Roses
Izzy's pets
3 reviewswhen Izzy's dog gets put to sleep, Slash and Duff try to find him the perfect pet. this is one of my "not-so-good" fics. i can do better.
3Funny
Izzy’s pets.
Vet: ok. He’s gone. You made the right choice, doing the operation was very risky.
Izzy: (eye’s filling up) yeah. At least now he’s not in pain. He was always a good dog. I just hope when he’s knocking on heavens door they’ll let him in.
Later at home
Axl: hey Izzy! What up?
Izzy: (eyes filling up again) nothing really.
Axl: hey, you all right?
Izzy: guess so. I gotta go now.
He ran upstairs to his room and then Steven walked through the door.
Steven: where’s Izzy’s dog? I got it some treats!
Axl: I don’t know. Maybe it has something to do with Izzy starting to cry a minuet ago.
Steven: maybe. Anyway, can’t let these dog biscuits go to waist!
Axl: dude, you ain’t gonna eat them are you?
Steven looked up from the box with his mouth full.
Steven: whaf?
Axl: you’re messed up!
Duff and Slash saw Izzy run passed and they knew what was up.
Slash: that happened today? I thought it was next week.
Duff: poor Izzy. I wonder if he’ll get another dog?
Slash: lets ask him.
Duff: no that would make him worse.
Slash: why don’t we get him a surprise pet!
Duff: another dog?
Slash: no! Better!
Later
Slash: Izzy, we’ve got someone here to see you!
Izzy: who is it?
Duff: slash wanted to get you a new pet, ‘cause you where so upset. Open the box Slash.
He did and a monkey jumped out and started attaching Izzy. He ran down stairs and the monkey chased him around the street. Slash and Duff watched.
Izzy: HELP!
Duff: was it supposed to do that? What are you reading?
Slash: Instructions for the monkey.
Duff: the thing came with instructions?!
Slash: yeah. It says that the monkey’s name is Killer. Should we tell Izzy that?
Duff: you just had to pick the monkey with that name didn’t you?
Izzy ran up out of breath and leaned of Duff’s shoulder.
Slash: where’d the monkey go?
Izzy: thanks to a car, he’s now knocking on heavens door.
Duff: time for plan B.
Later
Izzy had a python around his neck trying to strangle him and he collapsed on the floor.
Izzy: (gack!) get … it … off!
Duff: so much for the python.
Slash: my snake never did that.
Later
Izzy was running down the street again being chased by another monkey.
Duff: why did we buy another monkey?
Slash: I seemed a good idea at the time.
Duff: what where we thinking?
Slash: I don’t know about you, but I was thinking about lunch.
Later still
Slash: Izzy, this is it! I got the perfect pet!
Izzy: listen slash, I don’t want to be seem rude, but stop trying to get me pets. My dog got put down today and so far two monkeys have attacked me and I’ve been strangled by a python.
Slash: but this one won’t attack you! In fact, it wont even hurt a fly!
Izzy: hey, where’d Duff go?
Slash: he got fed up with all of this. Anyway, presenting…STEVEN ADLER!
Izzy: Steven?
Slash: yeah! Classic Rock magazine called him an “enthusiastic puppy dog”!
Axl: yeah, also he ate a whole box of dog biscuits!
Steven: I did not finish them pass ‘em here!
Axl passed him the box and he finished them off.
Steven: they are soooo good!
Izzy: you’re not human! Anyway, why would I want to keep Steven?
Slash: Axl got these papers signed to state that you now officially own him.
Izzy: I don’t want him! Give him to Duff!
Slash: ok.
Meanwhile
Duff was watching T.V when his doors opened and slash shoved Steven in.
Duff: Steven! Get out!
Steven: no! You own me how!
Duff grabbed him by the ear and dragged him out to his room and shoved him in.
Slash: Izzy didn’t want him, so I gave him to you!
Duff: what makes you think I would want him?
Slash: I don’t know.
Steven: (from behind the door) no one wants me! Hurray! I’m free!
Axl: shut it!
Steven: ok.
Next day
Izzy walked in the house with a birdcage covered by an old t-shirt. He put it right in front of Duff on the kitchen table.
Duff: what’s that?
Izzy: my new pet!
He lifted off the t-shirt to reveal an African grey parrot.
Duff: cool! A parrot! I wanted to get you this yesterday, but Slash insisted on getting the monkeys.
Izzy: I’ve always liked parrots so I got this one! Also, it can talk ‘cause the person who owned him before me taught him! Come on, say something!
Parrot: HOOKERS!
Duff and Izzy burst out laughing.
Duff: hookers?! What else does he say?
Izzy: a lot of swears! The old lady at the pet shop swears all the time.
So it looks like Izzy finally found a perfect pet. Soz if it was short but I ran out of ideas pretty soon.
Vet: ok. He’s gone. You made the right choice, doing the operation was very risky.
Izzy: (eye’s filling up) yeah. At least now he’s not in pain. He was always a good dog. I just hope when he’s knocking on heavens door they’ll let him in.
Later at home
Axl: hey Izzy! What up?
Izzy: (eyes filling up again) nothing really.
Axl: hey, you all right?
Izzy: guess so. I gotta go now.
He ran upstairs to his room and then Steven walked through the door.
Steven: where’s Izzy’s dog? I got it some treats!
Axl: I don’t know. Maybe it has something to do with Izzy starting to cry a minuet ago.
Steven: maybe. Anyway, can’t let these dog biscuits go to waist!
Axl: dude, you ain’t gonna eat them are you?
Steven looked up from the box with his mouth full.
Steven: whaf?
Axl: you’re messed up!
Duff and Slash saw Izzy run passed and they knew what was up.
Slash: that happened today? I thought it was next week.
Duff: poor Izzy. I wonder if he’ll get another dog?
Slash: lets ask him.
Duff: no that would make him worse.
Slash: why don’t we get him a surprise pet!
Duff: another dog?
Slash: no! Better!
Later
Slash: Izzy, we’ve got someone here to see you!
Izzy: who is it?
Duff: slash wanted to get you a new pet, ‘cause you where so upset. Open the box Slash.
He did and a monkey jumped out and started attaching Izzy. He ran down stairs and the monkey chased him around the street. Slash and Duff watched.
Izzy: HELP!
Duff: was it supposed to do that? What are you reading?
Slash: Instructions for the monkey.
Duff: the thing came with instructions?!
Slash: yeah. It says that the monkey’s name is Killer. Should we tell Izzy that?
Duff: you just had to pick the monkey with that name didn’t you?
Izzy ran up out of breath and leaned of Duff’s shoulder.
Slash: where’d the monkey go?
Izzy: thanks to a car, he’s now knocking on heavens door.
Duff: time for plan B.
Later
Izzy had a python around his neck trying to strangle him and he collapsed on the floor.
Izzy: (gack!) get … it … off!
Duff: so much for the python.
Slash: my snake never did that.
Later
Izzy was running down the street again being chased by another monkey.
Duff: why did we buy another monkey?
Slash: I seemed a good idea at the time.
Duff: what where we thinking?
Slash: I don’t know about you, but I was thinking about lunch.
Later still
Slash: Izzy, this is it! I got the perfect pet!
Izzy: listen slash, I don’t want to be seem rude, but stop trying to get me pets. My dog got put down today and so far two monkeys have attacked me and I’ve been strangled by a python.
Slash: but this one won’t attack you! In fact, it wont even hurt a fly!
Izzy: hey, where’d Duff go?
Slash: he got fed up with all of this. Anyway, presenting…STEVEN ADLER!
Izzy: Steven?
Slash: yeah! Classic Rock magazine called him an “enthusiastic puppy dog”!
Axl: yeah, also he ate a whole box of dog biscuits!
Steven: I did not finish them pass ‘em here!
Axl passed him the box and he finished them off.
Steven: they are soooo good!
Izzy: you’re not human! Anyway, why would I want to keep Steven?
Slash: Axl got these papers signed to state that you now officially own him.
Izzy: I don’t want him! Give him to Duff!
Slash: ok.
Meanwhile
Duff was watching T.V when his doors opened and slash shoved Steven in.
Duff: Steven! Get out!
Steven: no! You own me how!
Duff grabbed him by the ear and dragged him out to his room and shoved him in.
Slash: Izzy didn’t want him, so I gave him to you!
Duff: what makes you think I would want him?
Slash: I don’t know.
Steven: (from behind the door) no one wants me! Hurray! I’m free!
Axl: shut it!
Steven: ok.
Next day
Izzy walked in the house with a birdcage covered by an old t-shirt. He put it right in front of Duff on the kitchen table.
Duff: what’s that?
Izzy: my new pet!
He lifted off the t-shirt to reveal an African grey parrot.
Duff: cool! A parrot! I wanted to get you this yesterday, but Slash insisted on getting the monkeys.
Izzy: I’ve always liked parrots so I got this one! Also, it can talk ‘cause the person who owned him before me taught him! Come on, say something!
Parrot: HOOKERS!
Duff and Izzy burst out laughing.
Duff: hookers?! What else does he say?
Izzy: a lot of swears! The old lady at the pet shop swears all the time.
So it looks like Izzy finally found a perfect pet. Soz if it was short but I ran out of ideas pretty soon.
Sign up to rate and review this story