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Guns n' babies part 3/ end
2 reviewsguns n babies ending. also, i'm running outta ideas for fics so please leave an idea.
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Guns N’ Babies 3/ ending
It was late afternoon and Steven had now recovered from being sick and was sleeping on the sofa next to Izzy. Slash was watching MOTO GP on the T.V. and was laughing at some of the rubbish motorbike riders falling off and Duff was tidying up the kitchen because of the mess that Slash and Izzy had made.
Duff: how did they manage to get flowery-egg stuff on the ceiling?
Slash walked in laughing really hard trying to get his breath.
Slash: duff, that idiot on the T.V. fell of his bike and isn’t moving!
Duff: so he’s dead.
Slash: yeah! (Looking back at the T.V.) Oh wait, he’s walking now. All that excitement for nothing!
Duff: how did you get all this crap on the ceiling?
Slash: long story.
Duff: tell me.
Slash: um, the microwave exploded so to save you finding it and yelling, it’s out the window.
Duff: why do you throw everything out the window?
Slash: its fun to watch it smash when it hits the ground.
Axl walked in and started to cry.
Axl: I’m sorry Duff.
Duff: well, out should be but its ok.
Axl: can I have a toy for being good and saying sorry?!
Duff: you only did this so as you could have a toy. Please Axl, do us all a favour and grow up!
Axl: NO!
Slash: no yourself!
Axl: you suck!
Slash: bite me!
Axl: ok!
Slash: ouch! He bit me!
Duff: WILL YOU TWO PACK IT IN!
Slash and Axl ran into the lounge and Duff sat down at the kitchen table.
Duff: I really really hope they grow up soon. I don’t know how much more I can take! I haven’t been drunk for 3 days!
Meanwhile
Steven woke up to see Izzy on the other side of the couch. He suddenly remembered that dire burger he ate and felt sick again.
Steven: Izzy… Izzy… Izzy wake up.
Izzy: uh, what is it Steven?
Steven: who made the burger?
Izzy: it was Slash. I wanted to just go out to the shop and buy one but he insisted on trying to make one. Sorry for making you sick.
Steven: hey, sign my cast!
Slash: instead of signing it, lets try and break it!
Axl: (holding a hammer) hold still Stevie!
Steven: no! Keep away!
Axl: please! It won’t hurt! Much!
Steven jumped off the couch and ran into the bedroom with Axl running madly behind him swinging the hammer.
Izzy: Axl put the hammer down!
Slash: gees, Izzy. Lighten up!
Izzy: but he could hurt Steven even more!
Slash: its just a little thing called “fun”. You obviously haven’t heard of it.
Izzy: a-hole.
Slash: what did you just say?!
Izzy: you’re an A-HOLE!
Slash dived on him and started punching and Izzy tugged at his hair.
Meanwhile
Steven: Axl, put the hammer down!
Axl: please let me break it! Please!
Steven: no! You’ll hurt my arm even more!
Axl: I don’t care!
Steven ran out the bedroom and into the lounge and Axl followed still swinging the hammer. Axl accidentally let go and it flew straight at Slash’s head. He collapsed on the floor and just lay there.
Steven: is he breathing?
Axl: yeah, I think.
Izzy: Axl, this is all your fault! I told you to put the hammer down!
Axl: oh, I’m so sorry Mr. Goodie-two-shoes! I’ve learnt my lesson!
Izzy: no need to be sarcastic!
Duff walked in and almost tripped over Slash.
Duff: what the? Why is Slash sleeping in the middle of the floor?
Izzy: Axl was trying to break Steven’s cast with the hammer and Slash insulted me so I called him an a-hole and then we got into a fight and then Axl let go of the hammer and…
Duff: Lemme guess. It hit him in the head.
Izzy: yeah.
Duff: before you all get into any more trouble, your all going to bed.
Izzy: but me and Steven did nothing wrong!
Duff: well Izzy, you called Slash an asshole so it’s only fair.
10 minuets later
All 4 where now in bed and Slash had a bandage wrapped around his head. Izzy was up set ‘cause he never meant to be naughty.
Izzy: I didn’t mean to call him an asshole!
Duff: but it’s only fair. I can’t keep you two up while I send Axl to bed.
Axl: hey, Slash is coming around!
Slash: uh, my head freakin’ hurts!
Steven: Axl was trying to hit me and ended up hitting you.
Duff: goodnight you guys.
Next day
Duff: oh, god! Another day with those guys! What will they do today? Kill each other, start a fire, blow up the place. Wait, talking to myself ain’t a good sign.
2 hours later
Duff: hmmm, 2 hours of silence. When they where adults, they always used to sleep all morning. Like this. Something’s up. I’ve really gotta stop talking to myself.
Noon
Duff: still not up. I better…ahh!
Slash: whats up? You act like you’ve seen a ghost.
Duff: Bu... Bu…But you where a kid last night! And the day before! And the day before!
Slash: WTF are you talking about? Also, what where we all doin’ in your bed and you on the couch?
Duff: you all turned into little kids again and I had to take care of you and you guys literally destroyed the place!
Slash: are you drunk already?
Duff: nada! I’ve been sober for 4 days! And it ain’t good!
Slash: are you high then?
Duff: no! I haven’t touched the stuff for 4 days ‘cause I had to look after you guys!
Slash: I’m worried about you. I really really am.
Izzy: why am I covered in Spongebob stickers?
Duff: Izzy! You’re an adult too!
Izzy: I’ve always been one. So have Slash, Axl and Steven.
Duff: no, for the past 4 days you where kids!
Izzy: are you…
Slash: I’ve already asked him. He’s not drunk or high.
Duff: I can prove that it was true! Look, Steven’s cast. He jumped outta tree and broke his arm. Izzy made me buy a Spongebob comic and it came with stickers. That’s why he’s covered with them. Slash’s bandage. Axl hit him over the head with the wooden end of the hammer.
Steven: that sounds like normal us.
Izzy: I don’t even like Spongebob! Why would I want his comic?
Duff: ‘cause you where a little kid!
Axl: snap outta it!
He slapped Duff round the face and he fell to the floor.
Axl: it musta just been a dream.
Duff: your right.
Later at a bar
Slash: why the hell did you have a dream like that?
Duff: I don’t know. But it seemed so real.
Izzy: that’s the thing with dreams.
The old lady who they met in the hospital yesterday walked past the window and spotted Duff. She walked in.
Old lady: you’re the man from the hospital aren’t you?!
Duff: um, yeah.
Steven: since when did you go to the hospital?
Old lady: yesterday with 4 badly behaved children.
Axl: this is creepy. It’s just like Duff’s dream…
Old lady: so I see that you’ve dumped the children at home and come out with your mates!
Duff: what? I’d never do that!
Old lady: yes you would! I’m gonna phone the child cruelty line and report you!
Slash: um, Duff never took care of any kids. He had a dream about it though.
Old lady: that was no dream! His kids called me…
Duff: see I told you it wasn’t a dream! The senile old lady’s right!
The old lady hit him over the head with her walking stick and left.
Duff: ow, that hurt…
Izzy: so we really where kids?
Duff: see! Like I told you. But no one believed me.
Axl: ‘cause that was a pretty hard thing to believe. Tell us a thing or two what happened.
Duff: Steven ate an electric bass tuner.
Slash: omigod! Really!
Duff: Axl and Izzy got into hundreds of fights; Izzy was the only one who knew how to behave. Oh, and Slash, Axl and Steven broke my bass, but somehow I survived looking after a bunch of annoying kids.
Steven: I have a thought!
Axl: I have a better one. If any of us ever have kids, you can be the babysitter!
Duff’s eyes grew wide.
Duff: not a chance.
It was late afternoon and Steven had now recovered from being sick and was sleeping on the sofa next to Izzy. Slash was watching MOTO GP on the T.V. and was laughing at some of the rubbish motorbike riders falling off and Duff was tidying up the kitchen because of the mess that Slash and Izzy had made.
Duff: how did they manage to get flowery-egg stuff on the ceiling?
Slash walked in laughing really hard trying to get his breath.
Slash: duff, that idiot on the T.V. fell of his bike and isn’t moving!
Duff: so he’s dead.
Slash: yeah! (Looking back at the T.V.) Oh wait, he’s walking now. All that excitement for nothing!
Duff: how did you get all this crap on the ceiling?
Slash: long story.
Duff: tell me.
Slash: um, the microwave exploded so to save you finding it and yelling, it’s out the window.
Duff: why do you throw everything out the window?
Slash: its fun to watch it smash when it hits the ground.
Axl walked in and started to cry.
Axl: I’m sorry Duff.
Duff: well, out should be but its ok.
Axl: can I have a toy for being good and saying sorry?!
Duff: you only did this so as you could have a toy. Please Axl, do us all a favour and grow up!
Axl: NO!
Slash: no yourself!
Axl: you suck!
Slash: bite me!
Axl: ok!
Slash: ouch! He bit me!
Duff: WILL YOU TWO PACK IT IN!
Slash and Axl ran into the lounge and Duff sat down at the kitchen table.
Duff: I really really hope they grow up soon. I don’t know how much more I can take! I haven’t been drunk for 3 days!
Meanwhile
Steven woke up to see Izzy on the other side of the couch. He suddenly remembered that dire burger he ate and felt sick again.
Steven: Izzy… Izzy… Izzy wake up.
Izzy: uh, what is it Steven?
Steven: who made the burger?
Izzy: it was Slash. I wanted to just go out to the shop and buy one but he insisted on trying to make one. Sorry for making you sick.
Steven: hey, sign my cast!
Slash: instead of signing it, lets try and break it!
Axl: (holding a hammer) hold still Stevie!
Steven: no! Keep away!
Axl: please! It won’t hurt! Much!
Steven jumped off the couch and ran into the bedroom with Axl running madly behind him swinging the hammer.
Izzy: Axl put the hammer down!
Slash: gees, Izzy. Lighten up!
Izzy: but he could hurt Steven even more!
Slash: its just a little thing called “fun”. You obviously haven’t heard of it.
Izzy: a-hole.
Slash: what did you just say?!
Izzy: you’re an A-HOLE!
Slash dived on him and started punching and Izzy tugged at his hair.
Meanwhile
Steven: Axl, put the hammer down!
Axl: please let me break it! Please!
Steven: no! You’ll hurt my arm even more!
Axl: I don’t care!
Steven ran out the bedroom and into the lounge and Axl followed still swinging the hammer. Axl accidentally let go and it flew straight at Slash’s head. He collapsed on the floor and just lay there.
Steven: is he breathing?
Axl: yeah, I think.
Izzy: Axl, this is all your fault! I told you to put the hammer down!
Axl: oh, I’m so sorry Mr. Goodie-two-shoes! I’ve learnt my lesson!
Izzy: no need to be sarcastic!
Duff walked in and almost tripped over Slash.
Duff: what the? Why is Slash sleeping in the middle of the floor?
Izzy: Axl was trying to break Steven’s cast with the hammer and Slash insulted me so I called him an a-hole and then we got into a fight and then Axl let go of the hammer and…
Duff: Lemme guess. It hit him in the head.
Izzy: yeah.
Duff: before you all get into any more trouble, your all going to bed.
Izzy: but me and Steven did nothing wrong!
Duff: well Izzy, you called Slash an asshole so it’s only fair.
10 minuets later
All 4 where now in bed and Slash had a bandage wrapped around his head. Izzy was up set ‘cause he never meant to be naughty.
Izzy: I didn’t mean to call him an asshole!
Duff: but it’s only fair. I can’t keep you two up while I send Axl to bed.
Axl: hey, Slash is coming around!
Slash: uh, my head freakin’ hurts!
Steven: Axl was trying to hit me and ended up hitting you.
Duff: goodnight you guys.
Next day
Duff: oh, god! Another day with those guys! What will they do today? Kill each other, start a fire, blow up the place. Wait, talking to myself ain’t a good sign.
2 hours later
Duff: hmmm, 2 hours of silence. When they where adults, they always used to sleep all morning. Like this. Something’s up. I’ve really gotta stop talking to myself.
Noon
Duff: still not up. I better…ahh!
Slash: whats up? You act like you’ve seen a ghost.
Duff: Bu... Bu…But you where a kid last night! And the day before! And the day before!
Slash: WTF are you talking about? Also, what where we all doin’ in your bed and you on the couch?
Duff: you all turned into little kids again and I had to take care of you and you guys literally destroyed the place!
Slash: are you drunk already?
Duff: nada! I’ve been sober for 4 days! And it ain’t good!
Slash: are you high then?
Duff: no! I haven’t touched the stuff for 4 days ‘cause I had to look after you guys!
Slash: I’m worried about you. I really really am.
Izzy: why am I covered in Spongebob stickers?
Duff: Izzy! You’re an adult too!
Izzy: I’ve always been one. So have Slash, Axl and Steven.
Duff: no, for the past 4 days you where kids!
Izzy: are you…
Slash: I’ve already asked him. He’s not drunk or high.
Duff: I can prove that it was true! Look, Steven’s cast. He jumped outta tree and broke his arm. Izzy made me buy a Spongebob comic and it came with stickers. That’s why he’s covered with them. Slash’s bandage. Axl hit him over the head with the wooden end of the hammer.
Steven: that sounds like normal us.
Izzy: I don’t even like Spongebob! Why would I want his comic?
Duff: ‘cause you where a little kid!
Axl: snap outta it!
He slapped Duff round the face and he fell to the floor.
Axl: it musta just been a dream.
Duff: your right.
Later at a bar
Slash: why the hell did you have a dream like that?
Duff: I don’t know. But it seemed so real.
Izzy: that’s the thing with dreams.
The old lady who they met in the hospital yesterday walked past the window and spotted Duff. She walked in.
Old lady: you’re the man from the hospital aren’t you?!
Duff: um, yeah.
Steven: since when did you go to the hospital?
Old lady: yesterday with 4 badly behaved children.
Axl: this is creepy. It’s just like Duff’s dream…
Old lady: so I see that you’ve dumped the children at home and come out with your mates!
Duff: what? I’d never do that!
Old lady: yes you would! I’m gonna phone the child cruelty line and report you!
Slash: um, Duff never took care of any kids. He had a dream about it though.
Old lady: that was no dream! His kids called me…
Duff: see I told you it wasn’t a dream! The senile old lady’s right!
The old lady hit him over the head with her walking stick and left.
Duff: ow, that hurt…
Izzy: so we really where kids?
Duff: see! Like I told you. But no one believed me.
Axl: ‘cause that was a pretty hard thing to believe. Tell us a thing or two what happened.
Duff: Steven ate an electric bass tuner.
Slash: omigod! Really!
Duff: Axl and Izzy got into hundreds of fights; Izzy was the only one who knew how to behave. Oh, and Slash, Axl and Steven broke my bass, but somehow I survived looking after a bunch of annoying kids.
Steven: I have a thought!
Axl: I have a better one. If any of us ever have kids, you can be the babysitter!
Duff’s eyes grew wide.
Duff: not a chance.
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